Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-39954802-20190701172507/@comment-43741305-20190906092721

"Wheel of fate turn, turn turn..." I mumble as the contraption whirls and clicks.

I have this odd problem: whenever I get nervous, I start spouting nonsense. Mostly, whatever stream of consciousness comes bubbling to the surface. Of course, I am VERY nervous right now. I don't even know how a low-level swashbuckler like me got caught in all this mess. Speaking of which.... how the hell did I get myself in this situation?

I remember downing a few shots with my Danuki fence over some, ehm, misappropriated jewelry, and then....

....oh.

OH.

The wheel stops with a click....and as she reads the name, the Cheshire burst into a semi-hysterical laughter. "Ladies and gentlemen, I do suggest you make space. Like, right now. Lots thereof."

I, on the other hand, am frozen in terror. The March Hare literally jumps ten feet away. The Cheshire Cat is already vanishing as she asks one last question. "Any last words, honey?"

I look at the now scrambling crowd, deadpan. "I like trains." I manage to utter before the charging Wurm snatches me and barrels through the wall and towards the sunset.

"Hubby!" she bellows, full of innocent joy. Her eyes gleam with oddly sincere happiness as she cradles me in her arms, literally smashing through trees, cottages, carts, and everything or everyone who isn't fast or smart enough to move out of the way. For a being of such strength, her touch is incredibly delicate. And her chest is....well, glorious. Good for me; I like curves.

"Er, wifey?" I utter, tentatively. I kinda know wurms aren't the sharpest tools in the shed, but at this point I have to make the best of what I have right now. "YES!" she replies, beaming and nodding intently as she puts me down in front of a rather large cave. "We're home. Not much, but I make it comfy for hubby and little ones."

"L-little ones?" Okay, someone's kinda jumping the gun here. I'm not sure if I'm ready to be a dad....

Her lips curl into a shy smile. "Yes. Me and you, make little ones. I always been so alone. So cold. Now hubby keeps me warm and gives me lots of love, yes?"

Her eyes are almost pleading, like a puppy. I...I just can't. Not with her. Gods be damned, for a hypersexualized monstrosity she's one of the most innocent crestures I've ever met!

"Yes. Hubby keeps warm all you like. C'mere, you." I stutter, throwing myself at her.

Happiness can hit you where and when you least expect it.