Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-35836714-20190529193716/@comment-33398500-20190922220033

Taking a look at the absurd e-mail after having left my friend for his happy night with the ‘hellhound’, I raised an eyebrow at the foolishness that I had to watch before the button to participate came up.

Knowing my luck, I’ll end up being the first one to generate no result.

Pressing the button, I watched as the screen didn’t load at all, failing at the moment to process my request.

''I knew it. I’m simply unlovable, this proves it.''

However, once the lag resolved, the request processed, and put on display was:

‘Soldier Beetle x2’

Soldier beetle? I was supposed to be matched with some manner of warrior bug? And two of them?

At this point, in the park I had ended up in, as I attempted to continue down the trail to go home, a large figure stepped into the light in front of me.

What the-?

The being in front of me was large: not much taller overall than I was, and from her head to her waist was a lovely girl, though with large horns on her head and armoured carapace on her limbs, looking across at me with a passive expression. Her lower half, however, was some manner of large insect, fully plated with the same carapace as her upper body.

Well, that’s the beetle part, but what about the… oh.

It took me a moment to notice she was actually carrying some manner of weapon in one hand, the other holding a large plate of the same material that looked almost like a shield.

“Ummm. Hello.” I stated, attempting to seem casual at the moment despite the armed insect girl in front of me who looked like she could easily just trample over me and resume her course uninterrupted. However, she had stopped, looking directly at me with an unchanging expression.

She didn’t respond, merely looking across at me with a blank expression, though something about her appeared curious about the human in front of her.

“Umm, can you speak?” I asked, a little on-edge at the strange silent girl in front of me.

The only thing breaking the silence was the sound of thudding footfalls from behind me, turning to see another Soldier Beetle in the light behind me, looking very similar to the other girl, except wielding a large lance instead of the shorter weapon and shield the other had.

“Umm… hello? Can either of you actually hear me?” I asked, getting more nervous about what was happening by the second. Why did I click that link!?

Once I had asked this, the two each nodded once I looked at them, before starting to walk toward me. So they could hear me, but they just couldn’t speak: were they mute? Or did they just choose not to speak?

However, as the two continued toward me and I backed out of the spot, they continued toward each other, now starting to fight with their currently-held weapons! What are they doing!?

“What are you doing!?” I asked incredulously, watching as the two now fought each other. Was this how I was going to end up with only one wife?!

This is absurd!

My nerves got so shot I couldn’t stop myself fleeing the scene, running from the duel as I tried to get home. However, once I started to flee, the sounds of combat stopped, becoming the steady beat of thudding footfalls coming after me from behind. What was going on here!?

I had barely managed to get home and got through the door before the doorway behind me was blocked with the large form of one of the two beetles. She gave the briefest noise of dissatisfaction before managing to shift her body around enough to get through the door, before the other came through behind her in the same fashion, having watched her coming into the building.

However, once they had gotten inside, I found myself quickly grabbed by the first, who pulled me up to her, the second now coming up from behind me, leg-like appendages on the front of their body now holding me in place before the one in front of me began lowering herself until her face was at my crotch.

Nothing about any of this makes sense!

/////////////

After returning to consciousness, I felt a warm weight on either side, having slept on the floor pressed between the upper bodies of the two silent mamono that had simultaneously claimed me last night. Having next to no freedom of movement, it was quite an undertaking to get to my phone, which had a message waiting from the original e-mail, an encyclopaedia of these girls, which could explain what happened last night.

Oh.

Having a few minutes between the sleeping soldier beetles to read about them, their behaviour suddenly made a lot more sense: they were fighting to determine the order they would have their way with me in, and broke off to follow me as soon as I left. They didn’t speak because they were simply taciturn and inexpressive, and yet I could tell from their current embrace that they were quite affectionate.

As I finally comprehended this, one of them woke up, looking me straight in the eye with her naturally inexpressive face, before pulling my head into her chest and snuggling me, clearly liking having me close to her. I could feel pulling from the other direction now as the other one clearly woke up, pulling at me as well as if two children fighting over their favourite toy.

Having to think quickly before one of the staggeringly-strong insect girls broke something of mine, I pulled on both of them, managing to press myself between them more closely, which seemed to work for the moment, at least until the one in front of me started to shift herself downward.

//////////////

The first few days were quite difficult to even get myself out of the house, but a not-so-minor construction project later, the two would follow me out of the house. Regardless of what I would say to them, they followed me as if personal bodyguards, standing on each flank and silent, expressionless shadows to my every move. It seemed to unsettle some, and intimidate others around me.

It didn’t surprise me: they were quite scary to people who didn’t know better.

It made things rather awkward when I had to go and buy food, or when showing up to work, and especially when going to the bathroom, as I had to convince them to stand outside rather than follow me in. Every. Single. Time.

But still, the two had grown on me quickly. Their expressionless faces made it difficult to tell if they were enjoying themselves, so I made a constant effort to look for even the smallest change in their demeanour, doing random things to try to make them smile or laugh, little acts of kindness that would make their expressions warm up, however briefly. These were things that imprinted on my brain: their happy look, which I would usually only see when I genuinely surprised them with something, or when in bed with them near the end.

However, with the two of them completely taciturn, and no details about them disclosed to me about my wives beyond their species, a single awkward question floated around in my brain:

''What were their names…? ''