Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-34904368-20180727081408

(Warning: LONG BUILDUP.)

You’re an approximately twenty year old, and after a few family troubles, have gone to live with your uncle in (insert crappy town.)

You’re walking back from school one day, depressed. Black mold has taken over twenty five percent of the house, and cigar smoke has taken over the other half. Combined with the fact that your girlfriend dumped you for some soccer coach, there’s no money for the rent, and your only relative spends all his time in the garage, makes it hard to stay in a good mood at all.

You walk along the dusty driveway up to the shitty old house, the noises of machinery coming from the garage. The remains of dozens of old, crap cars sit rusting in a heap. Looks like your uncle just took apart a Pontiac Grand Am. it’s really annoying. He keeps buying shat cars, then taking less than ten parts from it and leaving it to rust. The hubcap of a Lebaron trips you up, as you make your way upstairs.

Coming downstairs just before sundown, you hear the garage creaking open for the first time in years. It sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Your uncle wrenches the door open, as car parts fall out and a-

Jesus, what the hell?

What looks like a Toyota Corolla, it it had an orgy with seven other cars and had a love baby. It had the front of the Corolla, but it was stitched with other car parts. You knew from all the visits to the car dealers you had gone on to get cars for your uncle.

Both lights were broken, and one door was off an AMC Pacer. Another was from an AMC Hornet. Yet another from an Austin Maxi.

More peculiarly, there was what looked like a two machines that looked live toasters on steroids, strapped to the boot.

He had somehow attached the lights of a Chrysler Cordoba on the front, and the hood came from a Camry, and a few wheels were mismatched. At this point, your eyes were burning and you just wanted to die. Your uncle grabbed you by the arm and shoved you in the car.

“Uncle! What the hell are you”you began, but he shushed you.

“Look kid, the cops are after us, we don’t have money, and we live in a shit house, kid! If you want to have a better life, buckle you god damn seat belt and shut up!”

He hit the gas just as a police cruiser crushed the mailbox, and skidded off down the street away from the house.

“Uncle! You’re doing 60 in a 30 zone! There’s a school up ahead!”

“Don’t fret!” He bellowed, pulling out a flask of alcohol and pouring it through a tube, though most of it landed in your lap. Instantly, the toaster-things on the back began to spew fire. We came to an intersection as a tram sped around a corner, about to hit us.

Then, the hood burst into flames, just as white hot light erupted from the toaster-things, melting the front of the police car as it skidded to the side. The front of the tram was incinerated, and you were pushed into your seat as the car FLEW INTO THE AIR.

Zero gravity twisted your insides as the horrendous car made its descent. You were hundreds of meters in the air, and coming down fast, as the fromt of the car enamated pink sparks. Below, you could see a preschool complex, as the car was about to have a violent touchdown.

Suddenly, the punk sparks formed a fiery ring filled with shimmering blackness, and the school vanished. The car made impact on what seemed like a body of water, as you wtwo were flumg forward and through the windscreen. (It didn’t provide much resistance, but still.)

Crawling onto the bank of a river through weeds and scum, you dragged your uncle up onto the muddy ground as the shit time machine sunk, then exploded underwater, then sunk a little more before river mud obscured it.

Now, you and your uncle are in a strange place, without food, water, support, or light, in an alien land. To the front is the river, to the back is a small town. To the left is a forest, and to the right is a cave.

WWYD? 