User blog:Reuben Medik/Desert Anon Part 1

Iv'e been writinging this for a few months now (and skipped a few inbetween) so you might find it a little confusing at times... I'm really slow... At writing...

Desert Anon Part 1

“I’m surprised that a desert could be so cold!” Anon exclaimed while folding his blankets around himself. “Why didn’t you tell me Greg?” The only sign that Greg was listening was the half gurgle, half moan the seems to be the only sound a camel can make. Anon sighed at his furry friends response and said “Just ‘coz I didn’t ask doesn’t mean I didn’t want to know!” angrily. “Anyway, because you just HAD to have that drink we won’t make it to Oasis until the Witching hour. And you know what that means around these parts…”

A few years ago, people started going missing in the Sand Seas of Davrosi, but never in towns. Always in between them, and always in the dark. Only a small handful of people make it away from these sorts of things, and the stories they have to tell are astounding!

“Ain’t no Scorpion-lady gonna eat my Jiblets! Hyah!!” Anon yells excitably. “Murherur” the beast replied. “No, I’m not fine if it’s a giant worm, or big ass beetles or even the snake people. You know I have a fear of snakes…” Anon replied annoyed. Now git gud son and start movin’ your caboose!”

Many people Anon knows think he’s got a few screws lose, but that’s only because he tries to be funny, even though most of the time he sounds like a psychopath. He’s always had trouble talking to people. That’s why he finds Solace when he finds someone to talk to. Like Greg. Who can’t leave. Because of the Rope. Tying them together. Anon can’t afford a proper saddle. Anon travels a lot with Greg. They’ve been to Zipangu, the Mist Continent and even to Wonderland, although the last one was only because they were lost (It took a long time to get out).

The reason they travelled a lot was because they were messengers. All they did was receive a note from some old Merchant, and give it to another merchant. Sometimes they had to take gold, jewels and all sorts of things to all sorts of people. They once ran into some Black Elf Slaver. She kept on trying to convince Anon to stay with her but Anon is a man of his word! He prides himself in being the fastest Messenger around! That and she had started to slowly take out her whip.

Any who this job was no different! All he had was a letter, a name, and a place. The name being Lady Ezra and the place being The Oasis, the largest city in any of the Dessert regions. The only difference was the pay. Any sane man wouldn’t take this job for all the gold in Davrosi, but it did pay well. Well enough that he wouldn’t need another job for months.

As Anon was contemplating the large sum of money that he was so eager to see, Greg stopped moving. He slowly looked to his left, then to his right. As soon as Anon noticed this, he too starts looking in the same directions, but can’t see anything. “You right buddy? What’s going on?” He questions caringly.

Greg then decides it was time to move. The fast kind of moving. And not a second too soon, as a giant, brownish yellow worn jumped out of the sand, its red eyes leering at the young man who needed a new pair of pants. “HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!” he shrieked as it landed with a ‘WHAAMM’ back into the sandy earth and Anon could tell that it was coming back, because of the rising of the sand behind him. “Move faster buddy! It’s gonna get us!”

Not long after that, the hard shell brownish shell returned, and the huge white teeth became visible. Its teeth were as big as a drawbridge, and there were so many of them! Its frontal eyes appeared out of the sandy depths and they looked hungry. Being the gentleman he was, Anon reached into his bag and offered food. In the form of an un-used torch, a faggot (Bundle of sticks) for a fire and his 3 knives. All of which bounced off immediately

It then went back underground, and pooped up in front of him and Greg, and started to circle the pair. Its three right hand set of eyes followed Anon’s every move, and it didn’t pay much attention to the camel. Once the circle was finished, it slowly started to face Anon, and its huge mouth opened up. As Anon discovered a new wet patch on his pants, it lurched forward at an amazing speed, and swallowed him whole.

It was dark inside the worm, he noticed. But he could still faintly see. Everything was pulsing like a heart and was dripping with some strange fluid. Huge globs of it were pooling around above him, looking like a huge line of spit. As Anon slowly looked down, he contemplated life, and as he was doing so, he saw a figure moving towards him. A human figure. It slowly moved to his location when the massive glob fell atop of him, and it started to hiss, and his blankets were evaporating at an alarming rate. As he panicked, freaking out about his clothes and skin, the woman got close enough for Anon to see that her skin was red all over, and that she too, was pulsing slightly. Another thing he notices were her lack of legs and that her torso connected to the ground. Which were the insides of a monster.

At that moment, Anon decides he’s going to need more than a new pair of pants, he’ll also need a new blanket or 5, because the ones he was wearing were melting away. Upon noticing this, Anon hears a mighty battle cry “MURHURURHHM!!!!” and Greg the camel frightens the weird woman and jumped straight at her, causing her to scream and opened her mouth(both of them).

At this point, one would think the rope would’ve been dissolved along with the blankets, but let’s just say that desserts can be very, VERY cold. As Anon held onto Greg for dear life, he saw that some of him was still covered with the clothes ruining gunk, and that the rope between the two companions was melting fast. Anon then whipped his hands on the scraps or his blankets and held onto the rope around Greg’s neck.

And just in time too. As Greg leaped through the closing maw of the creature, they found that they were running up a sand dune, and that the Worm thing was right behind them. It then dived through the dune while the frightened pair reached the top. At this point the Worm was going to eat them again, but Anon decided to slow Greg down, but not stop him. Once Greg was at the top the sand worm popped out a little in front of them and Greg jumped right on its head! And there were no other dunes insight, only a huge drop. As Anon and Greg rode the bigger beast, they noticed something, a light. And it was close.

Almost a millisecond went by in between how long it took for the sand worm to hit the ground and how long Greg did. As they ran towards the light the monster came back up again and started chasing them even faster than before. It was only inches away when it suddenly stopped chasing them.

At that point, Greg was standing on a patch of grass and the light was only 50 metres away on top of a large Stone wall around what Anon was hoping was The Oasis. A sentry was standing at the ramparts and was looking directly at the three new comers, dumbfounded. The Worm then slowly turned itself around but before it left sight of the pair it tried to eat, it looked directly at Anon and he felt the fury of a thousand suns. As it left for good (hopefully) The Guard asks “What the Hell was that thing?”

In the morning, Anon woke from a deep slumber, and found himself in the room that was provided for him by the guards that saw what Anon now knows as a ‘Sand Worm’. Apparently, they find a traveller and just snatch them away and they’re never heard from again. The only reason anyone knows what these things are is because it only ever takes one person even if there’s a whole group of them, and no one has ever escaped one before.

An army official named Sir Daniel Brothica came to Anon to ask him about his experience and how he managed to flee. Once the story was over, Sir. Dan asked if it was possible for Anon to have seen things that weren’t there while inside the monster. “I suppose, but I know I saw something in there”.

“Alright, thank you for your time. I’m sure this information and the samples of the beast’s spit will help us understand how to deal with these sorts of things in the future. Goodbye”. Sir. Dan then left the house, and paid quite a large sum of money for the samples and the information. This this much dough, he could buy a plot of land! And still have enough to keep himself fed for about a month! But that reminded him of why he was here, he had to go see Lady Ezra and give her the message.

After finding the message crumpled up in his pocket, he went outside to find his companion eating almost as much grass as he could, being tied up around an apple tree, which now only had Apples at the top. He could swear there was more last night, but then he just forgets about it.

After finding out where Lady Ezra lives, Anon made his way into her impossibly huge house. When he knocked on the door a butler opened it and demanded to know what business Anon had here. “You obviously aren’t a friend of the Lady, judging by the way you dress, so why are you here?”

“I bring a message for Lady Ezra form Sir Markus of Sylder town. I believe he is some sort of business partner”. The Butler eyes him up, until finally, he Sighs and replies,

“Fine, but you may only enter the Lobby, and no other rooms. That garb you have will most definitely offend anyone who sees it”.

“Oh my, thank you for being so courteous” Anon retorts flatly. As the Butler fully opens the door, Anon sees the largest Hall he’s seen in his entire life. It was at least 100 metres in width and maybe even 300 in length! And it had statues, and vases, and paintings and a flight of stairs that looked to be made of pure Gold!

“Up these stairs is the Lady’s study. Please give me the letter so I may give it to her.” As Anon lets go of the letter, the Butler adds “And remember, leave this room, and the Lady will have your head. So stay here.”

“Got it, I’ll stay put.” Anon replies, while staring at a portrait of a stunningly beautiful woman. She had golden hair, and beautiful red lips. Her silky black hair was a complete contrast to the almost white of her flesh; it was although she didn’t go outside much. It looked like she got everything she ever asked for. And if this was Lady Ezra, then she was most definitely the most delicate of flowers.

As he was admiring the painting, the Butler came back down the flight of stairs. As he stopped next to Anon, he said with much scrutiny “The Lady Ezra would like to see you.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure. Just give me a second to-Wait, what?” Anon wasn’t sure he was hearing him correctly. “Did you say that Ezra would see me?”

“Yes” was the only response the Butler had for him.

“Well, can you show me to her?”  This time the Butler said nothing, and instead just walked up the flight of stairs, Anon quietly following.

As they walked up the stairs, they came to a large Ornate door with gold and gems almost completely covering it, the Butler said “Wait here a moment.” As the Butler closed  the door, Anon could briefly see another painting of the lady downstairs, only this time, she had much less clothes on. Anon could hear muffled sounds coming from the room, and as he put his ear next to it, could make out some of them.

“But My lady, this man looks absolutely dreadful! He’s wearing leather riding clothes for god’s sake!” That must have been the Butler, but the next voice he heard was something else.

“I asked to see him, not to have him stand out my door. Now let him in.” This voice was definitely feminine. There was no mistaking it, that had to be the voice of Lady Ezra.

After a second or two Anon hears “Of course, my Lady.” And quickly moves away from the door before the Butler could open it. “You may now enter.”

As Anon walked into the room, he tried looking for the another painting, these big wigs always liked to look at themselvs when they slept, but found no such thing. “Why hello there Mr Anon. I believe you delivered a message to me from a Mr Toman Smith?”

“Yes, that’s correct.” Anon stated as he turned to look at the real deal. She was much more than beautiful than the artist gave her credit. She really was quite pretty.

“Parson, you may leave us.” She stated clearly, right before the Butler (named Parson’s left) and closed the door.

“I don’t think he likes me very much.”

“Oh that’s just the way Parson is. Anyway, I’ve got a proposition for you. You’ve survived an attack form one of the hardest things to get away from. And I’d like you to help me capture some” She said with a coy smile on her lips.

“Should I be writing this down for Mr Smith?” Anon asked, getting a quill and parchment to write upon.

“I’m not asking Smith, I’m asking you, Anon. I was talking about the Sandworm” Ezra stated plainly. ”If you can help me, I’ll get you the nicest home in the entire kingdom, along with servants of course.”

Anon was a clearly confused, and so he asked the Lady “How do you know about that? I thought the guards had kept it secret?”

Ezra smiled “Well, I’ve got little birdies all around the kingdom. They tell me everything I want to know. So about my proposition.”

“Well what about Mr Smith? Won’t he want a letter from you?”

“Parson is already dealing with it. If it’s the gold you in for, I’ll give you all you want. So, what do you say?”

Anon started stammering “Well, how will I help catch the Sand Worm? It’s not like it knows where I am… Right?”

“Actually,” Ezra giggled ”I think it might be a little attached, you see no one they’ve tried to abduct, and I mean NOONE, has ever gotten away, so once they have a man inside them, then they intend to keep him until the end.”

Anon was still confused, and asked “So what, am I going to be bait for it? If that’s the case then I’m not helping.”

With another coy smile, lady Ezra changed his opinion completely. ”Oh I think you’ll do it” she said while dumping a sack twice as big as Anon’s head on the small table with a clinking sound. “A maid will tend to you in the morning. I expect you to be bathed and well dressed, or I’ll be cutting your pay”.

Anon slowly reached for the bag, and as soon as he was close to it, snatched it as fast as he could. Although it sounded like a huge amount of gold, it was surprisingly light. And when Anon opened it up, a pink gas escaped form the bag, and flooded his nostrils. “I hope you’ll be rested for the morning. You’re going to need all the energy you can get.” As Anon’s vision faded into darkness, Ezra’s laugh filled his mind until that too faded away.

When Anon woke from his sleep, He found himself staring at an unfamiliar roof, in an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar room. As he got up, he looked around and saw a bell on the bedside table. When he went to pick it up, he knocked it over, the bell making a jingling sound. “Ah shit, I hope I didn’t break it.”

When he went to pick it up, the door opened and a maid entered the room. She had yellow eyes, which stood out on her soft face. Her brown, shoulder length hair was but something was off about her. “Good morning sir, how may I assist you?”

As Anon stared at her, the maid noticed the bell no the floor. “Oh my, the bell fell. I hope it didn’t wake you up.” When she bent down to pick it up, Anon saw something perplexing. She had a tail. Of feathers.

And when she placed the bell back on the night stand, he also noticed her ears. Of feathers. “Is there something wrong with my appearance sir?” the feathery dog person asked.

As she said this, Anon snapped out of his trance and said” Oh no, not anything at all.”

“Then why are you starring…” She said with a blush, while looking at his lower half, which was still covered.

“Umm, what are you staring-“”NOTHING.” She quickly said as she turned away. “Well, if you don’t need anything in particular, then I’ll go make some tea!” She exclaimed.

“Wait! I want to know something!” Anon said as he started getting out of bed.

“Yes, sir?” The maid said without turning around.

“I would like to know your name.” Anon stated as he stood up.

“My name is Annabel, sir, and I am your personal maid.” She turned around, and did a little curtsy. “It’s a pleasure to meet yo-” Annabel’s eyes bulged out pointing directly at Anon’s waist.

“What is it?” Anon questioned as he looked to where her eyes were pointing. And then everything froze.

He was completely naked. With a massive Erection.

And then everything sped up again, “OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY” Anon yelled as he covered himself up.

“Uhh, yeah I’ll just get the tea.” Annabel spoke as she quickly left.

Anon searched around the room for some clothes, and found a tuxedo folded up in the closet. Almost as soon as he finished putting it on, Annabel knocked on the door saying, “Sir? I’ve been told that you need to bathe by Mistress Ezra… May I come in?”

“Yes, yes you may.” Anon quickly replies as he finished his last button. “And don’t worry; I’ve got all my clothes on!”

“Sir? I have some tea for you.” Annabel pointed out as she pushed a trolley into the room. It smelled really good.

“It looks great! What type is it? It smells like Earl Grey.”

“Yes it is, sir. Would you like some?” Annabel asked as she poured it into a porcelain cup.

As Anon tasted it, he noted that it was quite hot. Too hot.

Anon instantly spat it out, unfortunately all over Annabel, who made an undeniably cute noise “Kyaaah!!”

“Oh jeez, I’m so sorry! Here let me help!” Anon said as he picked up the dish wipe on the trolley, and started whipping the biggest splash mark, Annabel’s breast’s.

Her face started to go the deepest shade of red it’s ever been, and she slapped Anon in the face. Hard.