Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-35836714-20190529193716/@comment-36855838-20190530144242

I open the E-mail.

"Hi there, this is Jane, from customer service! You've just won an opportunity to lower dissatisfaction in your life! Tired of spending nights alone? Want to be the sole focus of an entire other person's exhistence?! Then push the "button" below."

Below the message were a pair of buttons, one read "play," while the other read "information," and was greyed out.

Both buttons were accompanied by the misspelled message, "safety guarantedd!"

Remembering earlier, I pushed the first button.

My phone flashed bright white, and then the screen went black.

Odd rainbow lines traced across the screen, all pointing towards the one remaining thing, the second button.

The information button, now blue, led to a popup of baffling content.

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I quickly decided tonight would be a good time for camping, and set out into the sandy desert just outside of town, in case she decided on a "traditional" greeting.