User blog comment:Thehumanhellspawn1/the introduction of my realm/@comment-27950421-20160624011533/@comment-27950421-20160624153150

They're not bad persay, but all of the fan made mamono could use some detail. Your basically just saying that the hell dragon is a bigger, badder and meaner version of the normal dragon. In terms of personality there really isn't much to set them apart from a normal dragon. Appearance is important but since you aren't having pictures of the mamono it won't carry the mamono. Words will only take you so far in selling her looks. Focus on personality and behavior. You want to have a description but it isn't what makes or breaks her. Look at the way KC words things and the style of language he uses, when you write try to make the information detailed enough that they are different from similar races but vague enough that it leaves room for individuals within the race to be unique in and of themselves. Above all, avoid lazy writing, it is your worst enemy. There's a reason why I give each of the RK Mamono there own profile instead of just listing them off like you have. Just having stuff listed off is easy but it makes the reading it feel choppy. Try to make it a coherent flow of thought. The only reason I have the RK Mamono listed as I do is so that it's easy for my readers to access the information.