User blog:Redknight910/WWYD Flamebiplane Wonderland

Prompt:Spades and Shovels

I turn to run, catching up to my friends and start screaming at one of them what in pandemonium he did.

"Doesn't matter, just keep runninggggggggg-" We run off of a cliff, and I look down to see the ground coming up to meet us. I think this is the end, but as we hit the ground, we bounce. Like a trampoline, we hit the ground, and are sent flying once again.

"What the... how is this happening?" My other friend shouts as we bounce through the air, eventually landing on a mushroom the size of a tree. I get up and look around, not sure about the spot.

"Okay. I think we're safe." My other friend tackles the one who brought the army to us.

"What the hell did you do?! How did you find that many monsters to chase you?!" I try to get him off the other guy, but the struggle eventually pulls the three of us from the mushroom tree.

We fall again and hit the ground, this time it's solid and we start groaning as we pull ourselves up.

"Okay. Look, I was wandering around, looking for a way out, when I found thi kid with white hair and red eyes walking around, she said something about being bored, then threw a whole deck of cards at me. The cards turned into trumparts and... well, you know the rest." There's a howl of laughter from above us, and turning to look there's a cheshire, sitting on one of the mushrooms frills.

"Oh, that's far better than anything I could think of. That is why she's the queen I guess. I mean, that and being the most powerful creature in this world." She popped, and I mean popped, down from the mushroom, appearing in front of us. "Greetings, travellers," she said with a dramatic bow, "I am Dina, one of many guides to wonderland, and more than capable of helping you find the exit you seek." We all looked at the girl, then at each other, then back to her. All the while she held the bow, but as we looked back we noticed her ear was twitching.

"Um... how, exactly are we supposed to trust you? Like, at all?" Her face and head fell slightly, and she let out a heavy sigh.

"What's not to trust? I'm you're only chance at finding a way out of this realm, after all. Since, you know, the things like to move around. I mean, I'm sure you could find one eventually, but you'd probably spend days wandering around in circles. Monsters harrassing you from all sides until, finally, exhausted and aroused, you fall to the whims of the world and end up being stuck here forever, bound to who knows what." She puts on a bright smile and points to herself.

"Or you could let me lead you around for a bit, before taking you to the exit. I guarantee, you'll be home before the days out." We looked at each other again, thinking. After several long minutes of thinking, with the cheshire's tail waving about around us, we decided to follow her. She cheered and squealed at the announcement.

"Oh, you'll just love the tour I have planned. It'll be great, just you see. Now, onward!" She vanished and appeared in a tree nearby, waving for us to follow her. We followed her through the forest, intermingled with mushrooms and other odd things in place of trees, and ended up outside a small town.

"Okay, first stop, welcome to South Rockstone." We all raised an eyebrow at the name. Dina just shrugs. "Well, it was a single vote difference between that and Screwtown. Personally, I preferred Jubsong, but no one really liked that." She pouted slightly. "I mean, just listen and you can hear them everywhere." We took a moment, but the only sounds was of men and women crying out in pleasure. Then a couple, mid-union, popped into existance right next to us, the woman was a bright pink harpy with large breasts and fluffy wings.

"See?! They're everywhere! But noooo, they had to name it after the rocks all over town." She kicked a small pebble, which started to cry with joy in  childish voice as it careened down the street, getting a giggle from Dina. "Okay, maybe it's not that bad." She took us through town, and we witnessed several dozen groups of people fucking. Some of the monsters were even fucking what appeared to be other monsters, except male.

"I don't suppose any of you are hungry? We could make a quick stop at the inn for lunch?" Dina motioned to a building with a sign hanging from the door labelling it the Happy Hare. We declined the offer, prefering to just keep going. We could eat when we got home.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"Oh, fine. But a journey through Wonderland is a tiring trip." She said with a mischievous giggle, before vanishing again, appearing on the roof of a building at the end of the street. "Come on slow pokes! I thought you wanted to get home!" We grumbled amongst each other, before continuing.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">As we walked a march hare accidentally ran into us. She looked up with a smile, before asking us a question. "Ooh, I haven't seen you before, do you need a hand?" My friend shook his head.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"No thanks, we're just trying to get home." The hare perked up at this.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"Ooh, okay, I can wait 'till we get home." She grabbed his hand and started pulling him away.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"Ah, hey, wait, let me go!" My friend shouted, me and my other friend trying to get her off of him.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"Oh, you want to go here, then? Okay." She grabbed his pants and started trying to undo the belt. We managed to get him away before her hands could undo the buckle, but we then had to run to get away from her. After several minutes of running we were in another forest, where the leaves dripped with either a viscous white or pink fluid. The cheshire was sitting underneath one of these, smiling as the fluid dripped into her head.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"What the hell was that?!" My friend who'd nearly been abducted shouted, before Dina smiled and pointed up. We followed her directions and stared, wide eyed as the source of all the fluid staining the trees was revealed. Above us was what appeared to be a pair of giants, fucking furiously yet somehow silently. Suddenly Dina was in between the three of us.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"Don't want to interrupt a happy couple do you? Come on, this way to the next stop. After this I'll take you home." We quietly walked through the forest, the giants eventually disappearing after a kiss.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"Ah, good, we're not too late." Dina whispered with joy, running through the forest and into a clearing. In the clearing sat a woman in a surprisingly modest coat with a matching tophat, a jub jub, sipping from a bowl as opposed to a cup, and in the middle of the table sat the biggest teapot I'd ever seen.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"This time I insist, you have to experience a Wonderland tea party before you leave." The woman in the hat looked up at the sound of Dina's voice.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"Ah, Dina, you're just in time. Oh, and who are these men you've brought with you? A pleasure to meet you." She raised her cup, taking a sip. "Lana Reforth, I'm the proprietor of this little party, and I would enjoy it if you would make yourselves comfortable." Listening to the woman put us at ease, if only slightly.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">We sat around the table, but refused to eat or drink anything. The jub jub was particularly insistent. Dina was sitting with a sullen look on her face, sighing repeatedly and eventually she just put her head in her hands.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"Oh, lighten up Dina, there's always the next tour." We looked at her for a few moments, before I asked what she was talking about. Dina looked at me, sighed again, and stared at her cup, swirling a claw through the drink.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"I've done four tours, and I've yet to have one guy stay in Wonderland. I'm a failure as a Cheshire!" She dropped her head to the table with a thunk, the other woman patting her on the back with a warm smile.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"Oh, stop being so dramatic. I remember when your mother kept coming by with men. She wasn't always the cunning tour guide she is now." This didn't seem to make the cheshire any happier.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"Maybe you should ask around, see if any of the other cheshire's will show you some tricks." The jub jub piped up, fluttering over to her. It seemed we were now being ignored, surprisingly.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"I tried that already!" Dina wailed. "They all told me to learn from experience. But I'm always mucking it up." She put her head back in her hands. "I don't know any of the shortcuts, and all anyone tells me is to 'keep your eyes open, you'll see them.' And I still can't find one!" Okay, how old is this girl, anyway?

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"Little Dina's only just turned twenty." Twenty? That's all? She's still young, I'm sure she'll find someone one day.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"Yeah, I mean, come on, how long do monsters live for anyway? You still have centuries to get a partner." One of my friends piped up, the other just looked between us like we were mad.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"You do remember that we're the current partner prospects, right?" We both gave him an elbow to the ribs. The cheshire had started sobbing now. Was she always this dramatic?

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"Usually. She's determined to get a husband faster than her mother did, but as you can tell, it's not going well. Here, drink some tea, it'll calm you down." The woman was surprisingly motherly, and I couldn't help but take a sip from the cup at my own spot on the table. It was surprisingly sweet, considering there was no sugar at the table. Dina also took a deep drink from her cup, sighing as she put it down.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"The door's here." She muttered. "You should be fast if you don't want to miss it. Just wander into the forest and you'll end up back in the woods near your home. You should be able to see the town from where you end up." We look around, but can't see anything different. Given her dejected face, we're inclined to believe her. We stand, thank the woman for the tea, and start to head off. Before we get to the edge of the clearing I stop and look back to the party.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">The other two are still consoling the young cheshire. With a sigh I turn back to let my friends know that I'm staying, only to find them already gone. I turn back to the party, only to find myself in the middle of the woods, no sign of the clearing, or anyone else.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">I'm then tackled to the ground by a heavy form with an ecstatic squeal. "You stayed!" Dina cries, her purple hair all I can see of her head as her face buries itself into my chest. Well, I've always been a softie for damsels in distress. She looks up at me, that bright smile back, and the remains of her tears staining her eyes.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"Thank you so much." She kisses me, and I kiss back. We're then sitting in the concave top of a mushroom tree. I'm sure I'll get used to that sooner or later.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">"I'll take you on a full trip of Wonderland." Dina says happily. "But first, let's get more comfortable with each other." We spend the rest of the day making love, showing up somewhere strange every time we kiss.