User blog:ArmInAss/Fallen Brides: One Who Seeks The Fallen Sword (ABRIDGED)

FADE IN

'''EXT. FLOWER FIELDS'''

WILMARINA NOSCRIM and her best friend ELT are making garlands.

WILMARINA:

Hmmm...My garland always comes shitty, compared to his...

ELT:

Here, let me help...

ELT helps WILMARINA make another garland and it came out perfect.

ELT:

You're cute when wearing the garland, Mary.

''ELT uses SWEET COMPLIMENT! ''

WILMARINA has been charmed!

WILMARINA:

Can you make me a ring?

ELT:

Sure, why not?

<p class="MsoNormal">ELT then goes to make a ring...

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">WILMARINA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Teehee...He doesn't know that giving a ring to a girl is proposing a marriage to her. I'll claim him before anyone else does.

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">ELT:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">(suspicious) Excuse me?

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">WILMARINA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Nothing!

<p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">ELT finishes the ring and places it to WILMARINA'S finger.

<p class="MsoNormal">''And then somehow, WILMARINA'S over-protective (duh, why not?) Inquisitor High Priest General Ripper Daddy somehow discovers this and throws ELT and his family out the Noscrim residence. Tears and HANDKERCHIEFS are exchanged as the two spend their last minutes together.''

<p class="MsoNormal">…

<p class="MsoNormal">'''INT. NOSCRIM RESIDENCE'''

<p class="MsoNormal">WILMARINA goes to the kitchen to take some bread when she passes by her daddy's room where he is gloating like a clichéd Evil Overlord...

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">WILMARINA'S DAD:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">MWAHAHAHAHA!!!! Now with Elt and his family are gone, I can take another servant and then my little girl can focus on being a hero and then use her to further my prestige! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

<p class="MsoNormal">WILMARINA runs back to her room and cried so much that her whole bed became wet of her tears.

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">WILMARINA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">UWAAAHHHH! Why Daddy has to kick him out! He's my everything!!!! UWAAAHHHH!!! Why Daddy has to be that clichéd and how could he not know that depriving me of my love will do me no good, even if it's intended to make my life better, when in non-real life, it really does not work and IT ALWAYS GET WORSE! UWAAAHHHH!!!

<p class="MsoNormal">The next day...

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">WILMARINA'S NANNY:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">WILMARINAAAAA!!! Did you pee on your bed again?

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">WILMARINA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Eeeh...no...

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">WILMARINA'S NANNY:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">(smells blanket) Yeah, you didn’t. NOW GET FIXED UP, BITCH! YOU’RE GOING TO BE TRAINED AS A HERO! FROM NOW ON YOU’LL BE LIVING UNDER HARSH MILITARY DISCIPLINE!

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">WILMARINA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">(groggily) yes, ma'am...

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">WILMARINA'S NANNY:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">BULLSHIT! SOUND OFF LIKE YOU'RE A GODDAMN BADASS HERO!

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">WILMARINA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">YES, MA'AM! (fixes herself) Chief God, when did Daddy hire R. Lee Ermey as my nanny?

<p class="MsoNormal">…

<p class="MsoNormal">'''INT. HOLY KNIGHT INITIATION CEREMONY'''

<p class="MsoNormal">Ten years later, WILMARINA was tasked with conferring badges to Holy Knight neophytes for the initiation ceremony...

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">WILMARINA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">(thinking as she is awarding badges) I really don't want being a hero, but if no one else wants to become a hero, then I have to take it...

<p class="MsoNormal">''To her surprise, ELT is next in the line and has made it to being a Holy Knight after passing as a YMCA jarhead. WILMARINA badly wants to hug him RIGHT ON THE SPOT, but remembering they are in the ceremony, she held herself back...''

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">WILMARINA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">(thinking) Maybe later...

<p class="MsoNormal">She awards the badge to ELT, who then goes away

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">ELT:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">(thinking) Who the fuck is she? Why it feels that I'm familiar with her?

<p class="MsoNormal">…

<p class="MsoNormal">'''CUT TO: INT. HOLY ORDER HEADQUARTERS '''

<p class="MsoNormal">WILMARINA is walking around like BARNEY THE HOMOSEXUAL T-REX, wearing A PAIR OF FLASHY, ORANGE, TRIANGULAR SUNGLASSES when she accidentally sees MERSE flirting ELT.

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">MERSE:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Come on, I'm just taking you out for drinks!!!

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">ELT:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Sorry, Commander, I'm gay...

<p class="MsoNormal">''WILMARINA was incensed so much that her eyes flared up in anger that it melted her sunglasses. As if she’s Road Runner, she sped back to her office and a drama queen’s cries can be heard from there.''

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">WILMARINA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">MERSEEEEEE, YOU SLUUUUUUUUT!!!!! HE'S MINE BEFORE YOU MET HIM! I AM WILMARINA NOSCRIM, THE STRONGEST HERO OF LESCATIE. YOU ARE JUST A TOMBOY WITH AN IDENTITY CRISIS!!! JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!!! (cries) El, please tell me you're just lying. You're just lying. You're just lying. You're just lying. You're just lying.

<p class="MsoNormal">When suddenly, the alarm sounded and the priests and soldiers became hysterical and then running around as some random scout yelled...

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">SCOUT:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">HIDE YOUR HUBBIES! HIDE YOUR CHILDREN! LOCK YOUR DOORS AND WINDOWS! DERUELLA'S COMING!

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">“TRUE” MGE FANS:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">IT'S DRUELLA, YOU MORON!

<p class="MsoNormal">''But as a hero, WILMARINA won't turn tail and run like some coward baby rabbit. She geared up as DROP THE BOMBSHELL plays on the background and then she fought Der...Dru...ah fuck it the fourth lilim princess of the demon realm. Aaand obviously....''

<p class="MsoNormal">…

<p class="MsoNormal">'''INT. A CAVE'''

<p class="MsoNormal">''WILMARINA wakes up to find herself restrained by BLACK GOOEY TENTACLES. She remembered being knocked out by DERUELLA/DRUELLA with her giant Cthulhu-esque tentacles.''

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">WILMARINA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Thank Chief God, I thought I was raped by those tentacles, good thing video cameras and Internet are non-existent but.... HEEEEEEEELPPPP!!!!

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">DERUELLA/DRUELLA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Fufufu...no one's coming for your aid. But calm down, I'm a friend and an expert in love. Something disturbs your heart and I'm here to help you. I'm Der..Dru...the fourth princess of the Demon Realm, Psy. D.

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">WILMARINA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Yeah, right... I don't need your help...

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">'''DERUELLA/DRUELLA, PSY. D.:'''

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Is that so?

<p class="MsoNormal">The BLACK GOOEY TENTACLES begin to TICKLE TORTURE WILMARINA as her clothes are being MELTED away and DEMONIC TATTOOS are being drawn into her body by DEMONIC ENERGY.

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">WILMARINA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Ahahahahaha....stoooopppp! Aahahahahahaha...I won't yield to you, I'm a hero. Ahahahahahahaha.. Just who the hell do you think I am!!!

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">'''DERUELLA/DRUELLA, 'PSY. D.:'''

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">(sternly) Oh, dear, if you're not being cooperative enough...

<p class="MsoNormal">A BLACK GOOEY TENTACLE positions to penetrate WILMARINA'S feminine Cave of Wonders

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">WILMARINA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Noooooo!!! Anything but that!!! I want to preserve my virginity to him!!!

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">DERUELLA/DRUELLA'', PSY. D.:'''

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">(takes out a document) I see now. You want to get Elt but you let pointless things such as heroism, prestige and self-sacrifice block your way. To help you become true with your feelings, I'll make you one of us...

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">WILMARINA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">(half-happy and half-scared) Rea....lly?

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">The BLACK GOOEY TENTACLES envelop WILMARINA and transforms her to SUCCUBUS WILMARINA, who then emerges out...

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">'''DERUELLA/DRUELLA, PSY. D.:'''

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">TA-DAAAA!!!! Now you're good as new!

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">(summons a mirror)

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Do you like it very much?

<p class="MsoNormal">SUCCUBUS WILMARINA was astonished at her new form as a SUCCUBUS.

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">SUCCUBUS WILMARINA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">No words can describe what I am now…. With this, I'll be able to charm him...

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">'''DERUELLA/DRUELLA, PSY. D.:'''

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Of course...

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">SUCCUBUS WILMARINA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Won't you send me the medical bill?

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">'''DERUELLA/DRUELLA, 'PSY. D.:'''

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">No bills, I help people overcome their mental stresses for free. You can go now, and always remember to follow your heart!

<p class="MsoNormal">With renewed hope, SUCCUBUS WILMARINA flies off to Lescatie.

<p class="MsoNormal">…

<p class="MsoNormal">'''INT. ELT'S ROOM'''

<p class="MsoNormal">''SUCCUBUS WILMARINA goes inside through the window and she checks every spot of ELT'S ROOM for cats, guns, alarms, motion detectors and any other guys sleeping with him; luckily those are none, because this tale happened in a medieval era and not a modern one. All the poor dumbass (sleeping, by the way) got going for him is a sword…HIS sword.''

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">SUCCUBUS WILMARINA

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">(pounces at ELT in a SURPRISE-BUTTSECKS! fashion) DAAAARLIIIIIINGGG!!!!

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">ELT

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">OHWHATTHEFU-

<p class="MsoNormal">SUCCUBUS WILMARINA appears!

<p class="MsoNormal">[MOUNT] SUCCUBUS WILMARINA mounts ELT, preventing him from moving.

<p class="MsoNormal">ELT has been bound!

<p class="MsoNormal">ELT struggles to get SUCCUBUS WILMARINA off him!

<p class="MsoNormal">ELT is unable to escape!

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">SUCCUBUS WILMARINA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Ohh...so much for our honeymoon...

<p class="MsoNormal">[MELTING KISS] SUCCUBUS WILMARINA kisses ELT!

<p class="MsoNormal">ELT is put into a trance!

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">SUCCUBUS WILMARINA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">My body's hungering for you. And you'll be hungering for mine.

<p class="MsoNormal">[MELTING PUSSY] SUCCUBUS WILMARINA takes ELT'S love rod in!

<p class="MsoNormal">''ELT is being raped by SUCCUBUS WILMARINA! ''

<p class="MsoNormal">ELT takes 9999999 damage!

<p class="MsoNormal">ELT comes inside of SUCCUBUS WILMARINA, overfilling her womb!

<p class="MsoNormal">ELT breaks out of the trance!

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">SUCCUBUS WILMARINA:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Weeeee!!!! We did it!!! We're finally married!!! Now you're my hubby, just as I wanted!

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">ELT:

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

<p class="MsoNormal">''[MELTING PUSSY] SUCCUBUS WILMARINA keeps raping ELT! ''

<p class="MsoNormal">ELT takes 9999999 damage!

<p class="MsoNormal">''[MELTING PUSSY] SUCCUBUS WILMARINA keeps raping ELT! ''

<p class="MsoNormal">ELT takes 9999999 damage!

<p class="MsoNormal">''[MELTING PUSSY] SUCCUBUS WILMARINA keeps raping ELT! ''

<p class="MsoNormal">ELT takes 9999999 damage!

<p class="MsoNormal">''[MELTING PUSSY] SUCCUBUS WILMARINA keeps raping ELT! ''

<p class="MsoNormal">ELT takes 9999999 damage!

<p class="MsoNormal">''[MELTING PUSSY] SUCCUBUS WILMARINA keeps raping ELT! ''

<p class="MsoNormal">ELT takes 9999999 damage!

<p class="MsoNormal">''[MELTING PUSSY] SUCCUBUS WILMARINA keeps raping ELT! ''

<p class="MsoNormal">ELT takes 9999999 damage!

<p class="MsoNormal">''[MELTING PUSSY] SUCCUBUS WILMARINA keeps raping ELT! ''

<p class="MsoNormal">ELT takes 9999999 damage!

<p class="MsoNormal">''[MELTING PUSSY] SUCCUBUS WILMARINA keeps raping ELT! ''

<p class="MsoNormal">ELT takes 9999999 damage!

<p class="MsoNormal">And this vicious rape (or love scene if you’re a heartless bastard who forgot that rape is rape and rape is a crime regardless of gender and I really do hope that you get raped so you feel how it is being raped) continues for one whole night.

<p class="MsoNormal">… <p class="MsoNormal">THE-FUCKING-END