Thread:LightningS9/@comment-31049256-20180122063456/@comment-26288702-20180126211754

Somewhere in the deep reaches of space, princess Imperia of the planet Sexieladies is in terrible danger! An army of her planet's ancient enemy (The Assholians.) are pursuing her relentlessly. Her guards are dispatched, and her ship in ruin, it is only a matter of time before she is found. In desperation she sends out a distress message to her most trusted friend, Thomas Ibrahim!

Ibrahim receives the distress call and patches Imperia through. "Imperia? What is the matter?!"

"Thomas? *static* Thomas?! You must help me! The Assholians are searching for me and will soon have me in binds! Please Thomas, you must help me! *static* If the Assholians capture me, they will force me to star in a shitty sequel to an old and beloved franchise that they are content to destroy for corporate greed! I don't want to aid in the death of a beloved series! Help me Thomas Ibrahim, you are my only hope!" The transmission ends.