User blog:Locke Flinnt/WWYD-reply 3: Hellhound (2).

(Another WWYD-reply, this time concerning a somewhat delicate matter of being ready to have a child and if not - what to do. Beware; some bodily harm and a few expletives ahead.)

<<Your Hellhound waifu comes home, she seems to be happier than usual and is more romantic. You begin to seriously suspect something is going on when you rolled your eyes at her and then after realized what you just did expected to be pinned to te floor and raped roughly, but instead playfully told you to apologize and patted your head after you did. She pampers you all day and has not been rough with you. At the end of the day she tells you "Darling, I am pregnant!" as she hugs you, you don't know what to think, as you were not expecting children so soon, you knew monsters take a lot to get pregnant but you were one of those "lucky chances" where you got her pregnant early in the relationship.

As you go to the village a wizard sells you a special abortive, one drop will be enough to cause your wife to lose the child and she will never find out you did it. What would you do?>>

"The hell's this, ya, senile degenerate?!", I growl at the wizard, coming to my senses more or less. "I asked for a bloody drink - spirits to clear my thoughts - not the blood-drink poison to ruin my family! I didn't marry her to kill our firsborn!" With a ferocious thrust I slam my fist in the poisoner's mouth, clenching the vial with venom between my fingers, and crush the brittle glass. Withdrawing my hand I grab onto his vile tongue and in one swift motion tear it out. The final stroke in this picture of disproportionate retribution is the breaking of his right arm in three places - one for each life he nearly destroyed. As the man caughs up the shards, choking on the spilled tincture and blood, rolling on the ground in agony, I spit curses under my breath while looking for the militiamen of this village, intending to bust this sod, "Hope your intestines melt into goo, same as your brain!"

Even though I didn't get any serious liquer to clear my head and had to explain a lot to the guards, I still managed to get a hold of myself by enforcing some bloody justice, the lame pun fully intended. Dozens of thoughts rush through my brain straining to grasp them all at once: gotta ask the captain for the raise or more shifts to help the family budget, must make a cradle for the kid...even if she sleeps in our hands only, will have to make some clothes and toys for her...some really durable ones, if I want them to last more than five minutes, then...

This is gonna be a tough call, I finally admit to myself with a weary sigh, but I knew it'd eventually come to this, so there was and still is only one thing to do - embrace the changes, come what may, and do whatever it takes to make both of my hellhounds happy.

Heh, damn, I'm having a kid! This sounds strange even in my thoughts.

"Honey, I'm home!", I call, shutting the door behind me. "What, the villagers were out of booze, all of a sudden?", my beloved hellhound asks me ironeously. "Don't know, really, never got to ask them. Had a bit of a brawl, though. Felt so much better. And got you a little trophy.", I tell her, showing a disfigured piece of meat and a half-dozen human teeth - grisly prizes from earlier today. As my dear looks me in the eye expectantly, I gently touch her forehead with my lips, then lower myself adjacent to he abdomen and, carefully sliding my fingers along her sides, tell her, "None threatens my girls and escapes vengeance. Anyone speaks foul of you - I take their tongue, anyone looks at you the wrong way - I take their eye, and to the wretch who dares touch you - gods show mercy, for I won't.". Gazing at the ashen stomach of my love, I think of our child...of daddy's little menace.