Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-34263048-20180629095545/@comment-38691345-20190810154434

“Always wanted to try this”, I muttered to myself as I climbed the rope to the top of the chamber. I knew it probably wouldn’t work, I’d just hurt myself, but it would still be super fun.

I crouched on the ledge, which oddly enough led to another smaller chamber of the cave that was currently darkened. I cursed myself as I saw a staircase carved into the wall, but I was already here, so...

I pulled a Scrooge McDuck and did a cannonball into a pile of gold.

This (obviously) worked as well as swimming in sand. It didn’t. I simply got a severely bruised ass and squealed in pain as I rolled down the pile of gold, tumbling through the piles and knocking aside jewels left and right. Then I popped off the edge right onto a large jeweled cup.

“Son of a BITCH!” I hissed, trying to figure out whether to clutch my ass or stomach. I never actually got the chance to decide, as a voice echoed through the cavern, emanating from right above me.

“How rude to enter my home uninvited”, a female voice scoffed. I shot up.

“I thought you were dead!” I defended quickly. The dragon drifted down to sit upon a pile of gold, a shit eating grin on her face.

“Normally I’d toss a trespasser off the cliff, but... you’re amusing. I like you, I’ll let you live.”

“Wait... what?”

“You. You and your idiotic antics are utterly hilarious. I like you, so I’m going to keep you.”

“Excuse me?”

The dragon snickered.

“I am going to keep you, like a pet. You amuse me. I am Albriidrem, but you may call me Brii, my dear human pe-“

“You just can’t throw me off a cliff, can you?”

She spluttered indignantly, trying to speak.

“Excuse me?!”

“Your leg is clearly totally fucked up”, I said, pointing at the large bandage wrapping it like a boot. “And one wing isn’t working properly. You’re just trying to cover up the fact that if I wanted to, I could probably easily outrun you.”

“I am NOT! I am simply being generou-“

I responded by picking up a sack of jewels and walking away.

“If you can stop me, then do it”, I said. I got to the entrance, then turned back to her, only to see her whining on the floor, trying to hold herself up by balancing on one leg and using her singular wing to flutter forward. She just ended up careening into a wall. I walked over to her and grinned, deftly pocketing the jewels.

“Tell you what, if you let me go, I can treat your wounds.”

“You’d do that?” She asked, seeming unreasonably shocked.

“Yeah, I mean, it does mean my survival.”

She stood up, flapping her wing haphazardly and leaning on a wall, coughing and trying to regain her composure.

“Well, I suppose in that situation, payment would need to be procured. I will agree to this situation. Only for my health, mind you. I have no liking for you.” She said arrogantly.

“Well, fine then. I won’t do it.”

“Wait!” She said desperately as I started to turn around.

“Yes?”

She screwed up her face, seeming to struggle internally. Then she weakly mumbled something.

“What was that?”

“Please”, she squeaked out, looking utterly defeated. “Help me with this. I can’t collect treasure like this, and I can’t even catch a-“

Her face froze, and she slowly looked at me, examining me like a piece of meat. I obliviously looked back at her, confused by her sudden stopping.

“Catch a what?”

“To heal better”, she coughed. “And quicker, I require spirit energy. Would you be capable of procuring some for me?”

I shrugged, still being an oblivious moron and forgetting exactly HOW monsters absorbed spirit energy.

“I mean, yeah, I AM a guy. I make spirit energy fairly quickly, so-“

“Excellent.”

Then, for the second time that day, I was slammed against a pile of gold, although this time it was a far more... fun experience. I suppose I could get used to this...