User blog:Safnar/Dark Priest (Short story)

I've been going to church since I was a child. Learning about God, and Haven, and all the complicity’s of human existence. I've met several Angels, some of which I’ve become friends with and a few Valkyries who never had anything nice to say. But the real reason I went to church was to see Amanda.

(Oh stop it honey you’re making me blush.)

(Amanda! I told you I was telling the story! Please don’t interrupt!)

(Soooo forceful. Are you sure you really want to finish this? Can’t we just go home and-) *omitted, use your imagination.

Anyway. Amanda was the preacher of the church. She spread the word of God when the priests told her to, which was often as most of the priests in our old church were lazy mooches thriving off the ‘voluntary’ donations we all paid to get in. Amanda and I had been best friends for a long time but just as I had started to grow interested in her as a life partner she joined the church.

(Oh, don’t look so down hun. It all worked out in the end.)

I still came to see her every day but she only ever wanted to talk about faith and God, which got a little annoying.

(That was how I told you I cared.)

(Amanda if you interrupt the story one more time I’ll-)

(You’ll what scream and protest while I do this?)

(Ha!!! No!!! Not again!) *transition cut’s out for a few hours then starts back up. The speaker is breathing heavily* (W-Well Amanda is satisfied for now. Where was I?)

Today however seemed different. As Amanda stepped in front of the mass of people, angels and Valkyries she seemed to be struggling with some kind of internal conflicted. They all did. The normally energetic angels were tightly holding themselves to the pews rubbing their legs together and sweating horribly. The Valkyries, who always said something insulting, were tight lipped and flushing as if they seemed to be trying to hold themselves back.

“Today I would like to-“ Amanda started then she stumbled. Wiping sweat from her forehead she looked at the audience with a strange look.

“I would like to…” Has that robe always been that tight on her? And since when did the Valkyries sit that close to human men? I should have done something or slipped away but I was too captivated with Amanda who’s brilliant blue eyes were suddenly looking into mine.

“I would like to discuss-“ She threw her head back and squealed. Many people had gotten up to either help or run. However the Valkyrie were blocking the exit. I was on my feet now.

“I want to talk about the many tools a women possesses for pleasuring her man.” She let out at last.

(You should have seen the look on your face dear I still get turned on just thinking about it)

Several people were seized by various corrupted monsters and stripped naked. Angels, and Valkyrie assaulted people but Amanda the new Dark priest only had eyes for me. Even so she stood there and preached her new teachings calmly as if the lewd scenes around us weren't happening.

“You can use your butt.” She said and her long chained tail sprang forth ensnaring a man and grinding his groin against her butt. Even though neither was naked the man got a look of such pleasure on his face as Amanda teased him. She let him go as a pack of angels tackled him to the floor tearing away his clothes. I stood there petrified by her eyes witch hadn't left mine as she slowly began walking toward me.

“Your breasts.” She continues catching a man as he tripped over her tail and burying his face in her cleavage until a Valkyrie pulled him away. The other monsters didn't seem interested in me. Seeming to know full well I belonged to Amanda.

“Your lips.” She said. She was so close now and demonstrated using her lips on me as she pushed me over.

“And your hips.” She said as she climbed on top of me to have her way.

(That’s it? You just got to the beast part and now you’re stopping?)

(Amanda I'm not telling them ‘that’ it’s inappropriate.) *Amanda giggles.

(Well ok. But I'm going to make a few sounds that I'm sure will paint a clear picture of what happened that day.) *A loud crashing sound as something was knocked over.

(B-But we just did it!)

(Listen closely every one.) *remaining transition omitted.