Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-28718853-20181216210457/@comment-36855838-20181218043822

"Mysterious and cheesy, so far you're meeting all my standards, whoever you are."

I pull off the haphazardly stitched on beaver head, leaving me in my old beaver onezie.

Once that's done, I pull up the hood, which obscures my vision far less, but still helps to keep me nice and warm.

Out of the darkness steps. ..

A brown skinned woman in a red evening dress which goes just past her knees.

Her hair is white, and silken, and as she smiles, two rows of fangs greet the chill air of the crypt.

"Hey, little rat. Don't worry, I won't bite. . .much."

She chuckles.

"But in all seriousness, aren't you a little cold down here all alone? We undead don't get many visitors, but the men down here often complain about the chill."

I look behind her, towards a passageway which seems to have melted into the brick walls.

The faint glow of torchlight rounds a corner, the torch itself being held by a ghost.

"Hiya, cutie! How's it going?"

I'm either blushing, or freezing, because it got even colder when she floated in, and I can actually see my breath now.

"Heather, he's gone red, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, don't make the air colder to get men to hold you!"

She pouts, and the chill of the room returns to bearable.

"You're still a real stick-in-the-mud, Andrea, but ever since your sister got a man you've been a lot nicer!"

Andrea chuckles.

"Maybe so, how's your mother holding up? She got herself a man last week, right?"

Heather put her hand to her chin, the torch set to rest in a brazier.

"Oh, yeah! She went topsoil last week a few miles east of our town, met a nice farmer who was willing to supply in exchange for any normal, curseless clothes we could weave!"

This managed to bring Andrea out of her lazy posture.

"We got another farmer? What does he grow? God, we could feed even more men now! This is fantastic!"

Heather beams, swooping over to a stone bench, one of many which had been retracted into the walls before their arrival.

"The guy grows groundy things, potatos, carrots, parsnips, that sorta stuff!"

I feel a churning hunger in the depths of my stomach at the mention of parsnips.

"So, I d-don't mean to bother you ladies b-but-"

The two look at me, Andrea gasps.

"Heather, how could we forget! He's been freezing while we chatted! Give me the torch, and you go get him a blanket!"

Andrea takes my arm, and begins leading me down the stone staircase while the wall closes behind us.

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