User blog:IonicZach/The Nec-"Romancer"

There are a lot of perks working for a local pizza place, my favorite being that I don't have wear a uniform, but the one thing that makes me rethink my job choice is when my boss forces me to do any delivery, no matter how ridiculous. This is one of those deliveries that seems too ridiculous to not be a prank, but my boss said that she was friends with whoever made the order and to trust her, plus she paid ahead of time.

The thing that makes me suspicious about this order is the fact I have to deliver to a specific crypt in a cemetery, but I need the paycheck so, prank or not, here I stand in front of a crypt with pizza in hand. I knock on the stone door and yell "Pizza delivery!" I roll my eyes, waiting for someone to pop up from behind a tombstone with a camera and laugh at how much of an ass I look like right now.

Suddenly, the door slides open to a long stone stairway and a feminine voice calls out "Come in! I'm in the shower right now so I'll be with you in a minute!"

I start walking down the stairs, "A lady in the shower after ordering a pizza? Has my life turned into a bad porno? I wonder..." I pull out the reciept for the order, on it is written "LARGE PIZZA, EXTRA SAUSAGE" I stare in disbelief "OH MY GOD-!"

My train of thought is interrupted by the lady calling out "Look out for the middle step, it's a doozy!" Just as she says that I feel my foot miss a step and I start tumbling down the stairs, landing at the bottom with a thud before blacking out.

I wake up in a bed to the feeling of someone else standing nearby. The first thing I notice upon opening my eyes is that I'm in a room with stone walls no bigger than a studio apartment. The second thing I notice is the lab equipment on the other side of the room, and a standing shower installed in a corner of the room near the lab equipment. It's the last thing I notice that really catches my attention, the cute girl in the very low zipped hoodie standing over me and looking down at me with calm. purple eyes.

Despite her silvery hair she looked to be in her late teens. She appears to be wearing strange, bone-like jewelry around her neck, arms, and ankles. Due to how low her hoodie is zipped, I can tell she's not wearing a bra, I can also see a huge tattoo on the inner thigh of one of her legs. The strangest thing about her, though, is her grey skin.

She seems to perk up after seeing my eyes dart around the room. "Great you're alive! I thought I had lost you for a moment."

"Huh?" I try to get up but a sharp pain in my neck keeps me down. "Uh... My neck's killing me."

"I would assume so, you snapped your neck due to that nasty spill you took on the stairs." She says, in a manner unfitting of telling someone they just died.

"Snapped my neck? That would've killed me." I state in disbelief.

"If you didn't have me around, it would have." She says with a hint of pride.

"How long was I out?" I ask.

"An hour or so. Oh! I almost forgot my manners, my name's Alexandra, but you can call me Alex." She says holding a hand out to me. I grab her hand, noticing how cold it feels, shake it, and state my name as well. She then moves another hand up to my neck, I feel a tingle and the pain is suddenly gone.

I sit up and ask "How'd you do that?"

She then flicks a finger and a big, spooky looking book flies over and immediately flips to a page. "How to revive the recently deceased." She reads out loud. She then looks up and noticing my amazed expression says "I'm a Lich, and the minute I heard you fall I got out of the shower and rushed to save you. You were probably dead for less than a minute before I got you back to the realm of the living."

''"A Lich, well, looking at her now it is kinda obvious. Man these undead monster girls are really hard to tell from humans sometimes." ''I think to myself.

"If you brought me back to life, why am I not a zombie?" I ask, still skeptical.

"The only reason you're not a zombie is because I got to you so quickly, any longer and you'd be among the ranks of the undead by now, like me." She says.

Suddenly, I remember why I'm here. "The pizza! Is it okay?" I look around frantically.

She giggles, "It's fine." She points over to a table with the box on it. "When I found you, you were holding it in a death grip. Would you like to have some?" She asks, smiling.

How can I resist a cute girl and pizza? "Sure."

"Great!" She claps her hands together and walks over to the table and as she's bending over to set it up, I notice that, not only is she wearing panties, thankfully, but that she also has a nice butt. It's by this time that, due to my staring and my rising arousal, I notice that I'm completely naked.

She looks over, puts her hands on her hips and smirks coquettishly, "Are you smuggling a banana or are you just happy to see me?" I immediately try to hide my shame, but she just throws me my pants.

"Where are the rest of my clothes?" I ask, putting my pants on.

"I'm washing, cause of all the blood." She says. I choose to ignore the blood part, and go sit down at the table.

She joins me and we start eating. Most of my time is spent picking sausage off my slices, which she quickly picks up and puts on her slices. She's the first to break the silence with a sigh, "Y'know, I'm kinda glad you fell down here."

I raise an eyebrow.

"I mean, you don't really get many visitors when you live in a crypt, especially cute ones like you." She says as cool as a cucumber, one of her hands moving to rest atop one of mine.

I blush at this, not just because of the hand touching, but also due to the fact that to reach my hand, she has to lean over the table, giving me an even better look at her modestly sized bust.

"S-so, uh, why do you live in a crypt anyway?" I ask her.

"Well, the rent's cheap, and by that I mean nonexistant, and I don't have to worry about anybody disturbing my experiments." She motions towards the lab equipment, "Though I've sorta hit a brick wall, since I don't have an 'assistant' to help with my experiments." She sighs and looks into my eyes.

Once we're done eating, I start to get up and say my good byes, but Alex stops me. "You can't go just yet. Your clothes aren't done yet, and besides..." She grabs my hand and leads me over to the bed, "I haven't been able to tip you yet." She winks and shoves me down to the bed.

She then completely unzips the hoodie and tosses it aside and does the same with my pants. She then snaps her fingers and exclaims "Wait! I have an idea. Would you mind waiting here for a minute?" She then puts a finger to my forehead, causing me to feel a slight tingle and then quickly realize that I can't move. She then walks over to the table with all the lab equipment and starts mixing things together.

Since I can't move, the only thing I can do is wait until she's done, which comes with a puff of smoke from whatever she's working on and she walks back with a vial filled with a bubbling, bright pink liquid. "Drink this." She says holding out to me, "Oh right, you can't move sorry about that.' she touches my forehead again, giving me my ability to move again.

Seeing as how I don't have much choice in the matter, I take the vial and down it, it tastes like bubble gum. I immediately start to feel a warmth flow throughout my body, intensifying around my groin. I quickly get erect and Alex looks down happily. "Great, I was never able to test that before, but that was exactly the reaction I was looking for."

I look up to her concerned for my safety.

"Don't worry. I would've brought you back if anything had happened." She says getting close to my face, "Besides, I wouldn't want to lose my newest test subje- I mean lab assistant." She then giggles before kissing me.

She soon breaks the kiss and, positioning herself above me, says "Now lets run the next test: Endurance." She then lowers herself onto me. Needless to say the potion excels in the endurance category as we both go for what feels like hours before I finally reach my peak, after she had reached hers countless time, and I pass out.

"Wakey~ Wakey~." A soft voice coos. I wake up in Alex's bed with her looking down at me.

"Deja vu." I mutter to myself.

"Hey, uh, so, I just got done talking to your boss and she says your fired."

"What!"

"Yeah, she said you've been late too many times and that this was the last straw."

"Oh..."

Alex then sits down next to me, "She also said to tell you that you should work for me now."

I then slap my forehead, "That's right. They're friends. I've been set up."

"So... Would you like to be my lab assistant?" She asks, twiddling her thumbs.

I sit up and wrap my arms around her. "Well, I don't have much a choice do I? Besides, your much cuter than my last boss." She gives a small smile and blushes at that last remark. "So boss, what do we do today?"

"Oh, I have a few ideas." She says getting up and walking over to the lab set. She then pulls out six vials of differently colored liquids. "Ready to do some science?"