Talk:Roper/@comment-26115871-20150422155813/@comment-26219553-20150423230137

I take a deep breath, bracing myself. I've read the Encyclopedia, I know the symptoms of Roper infection. "I knew this day would come... somehow. Good thing I came prepared, you filthy parasite!"

Reaching into the wardrobe while staying a safe distance from my wife, I promptly retrieve the Japanese schoolgirl I've been storing in there for the past week (it's not kidnapping if you give her food and water, right? RIGHT!?). Everyone knows tentacles can't resist those suckers, and I'm proved right when I toss the girl out of the window and the parasite detaches from my wife in favor of pursuing the new potential host.

So, good news? My wife is no longer a roper and I didn't get tenta-raped up the bunghole.

Bad news? I now have a Japanese schoolgirl roper standing outside my front door, and I can't tell if she's pissed or horny.

I just hope those nice paladins from the Order we sent a carrier-pigeon for get here before the food runs out.