Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-27950421-20180329162644/@comment-36855838-20181013183029

Welp, got my joke story in, time for something more realistic, eh?

. . .

I eye the woman carefully, slowly reaching for her ear, and twisting hard, sbe gives a yelp, and turns towards me looking like I'm about to resemble a poorly made grilled cheese sandwich, when I move in for the most forceful kiss I can muster, trying as hard as possible to be simultaneously rough and sexual.

In an instant, it's as if a switch was flipped, she dismisses her spell, and starts melting into my hands like putty, I slowly reach for a bottle of holstaur milk, the powerful, illegal stuff, I'm pretty sure this stuff'll make anybody become lustful and polite, and more importantly, exhausted.

I shove the neck of the bottle in her mouth, and she eagerly drinks. Sure enough, the excessive mana in the thick, creamy milk puts her right in the mood, seeing that she's distracted trying to smooch me, I motion for the other elves to head for my toolbox in the corner.

Pointing out the replacement door that I've kept ever since my son's Lamia wife busted one down while he was "trying to avoid her" last christmas, I resume making out with the princess, hopefully she'll be more docile if I keep giving her Holstaur milk.

. ..

Several months have passed, and I'm seated at the dinner table, dreading what's to come, in walks the princess, her dress cut low, and her now monstrous breasts hanging lower, a massive pot of chowder in her arms.

Holstaur milk chowder.

The elf gents look similarly terrified.

We're in for a long night.