Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-27346571-20170728215310/@comment-28718853-20170729033351

(I'm just...gonna drop a quick response here.)

Damn, there goes my winter-themed bachelor party. The gas coming in was making everything worse, and it was only a matter of time before the mamono started coming after me.

I see a Kikimora standing next to the wine table and spring into action. I rush up to the table, grab the champagne bottle, and smash it against said table. I spot an Ushi-Oni and a Grizzly coming at me from two different angles. The Kikimora turns to me just as I reach out to grab her and twirl her in the direction of my potential rapists.

She lets out a gasp as I hold her firmly against my body with the broken bottle close to her neck. "Back up, right now!" I order the two other mamono amidst the chaos. They both stop and freeze, seeing that I had a hostage in my possession. Fortunately, everyone else was too busy screwing or getting screwed, so I started for the exit with the Ushi-Oni and Grizzly following from a distance.

When they tried to get closer, I would hold my hostage tighter and shout, "Stay back, stay back now!"

They would both retreat a few feet, allowing me to continue toward the door.

I reach it, and with a terrified Kikimora in my grasp and two worried mamono in front, I use the bottle hand to push open the door. "Hank...what the hell are you doing man?" comes the voice of Tevin, who is looking puzzled by the entire situation.

"Listen man, I didn't come here to get raped in this whore house!" I scream as I burst outside. As soon as I was in the clear, I release my hostage and she turns to me with a face full of grave fear, catching my apologetic look.

Embarrassed, I drop the broken bottle into the grass and scratch the back of my head. "Hey uhhh...sorry for using you like that, lots of horny women in there and I uhhh...didn't want to get raped," is my honest answer.

The Kikimora says nothing. Instead, she simply turns and runs back into the chapel.

I sigh, and turn to walk away. Next time someone has a wedding, I'm bringing a gas mask...GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA!!!

An incredible jolt of electricity shoots through me and I heel over into the grass, my body spazzing out. I see a Raiju approach, and shake her head in disappointment. "Not very nice what you did there man," she mutters as she grabs me by the leg and drags me away.

Okay...this is the last time I am being ANYONE'S bachelor.