User blog comment:GlintLock/Hellhounder Part 1/@comment-25808351-20160117051306

Hey GlintLock. As Carthois said, paragraphs. Also, you start a lot of sentences with "I". Now this is a minor thing, as stories from a fist person perspective is tough to write without using "I" a lot. But try to mix it up a little. Like for example, "I closed my eyes to avoid the branches" you could do "Quickly I closed my eyes to avoid the branches". By throwing in a word there, you trip up the starting a sentence with "I" repetition while still having that perspective.

That aside, the first chapter starts us out with the character in peril and a shadowy figure dragging him away. Starting out strong buddy, I like that. I'll definitely tune in for the next part, well done.