User blog comment:The Reptile King/Chocolate Holstaurus Chat place/@comment-27950421-20160428000033/@comment-27950421-20160510145913

Me: Hey, no problem man, I'm not from this universe either, though I take my waifus with me. It's a basic summoning spell, there should be a manual or two in the library if you want to-


 * suddenly a shuriken comes flying out of the shadows and lodges itself in my right kidney*

Me: StuGYAAAAAH!!! AH! AH! AH!


 * A Kunoichi dressed in a maid outfit walks out of the shadows as I pull the throwing star out of my back*

Kunoichi: For someone who claims that surprise attacks are his only weakness, you do very little to defend against them, Reptile-sama...

Me: that... was my favorite kidney...

Kunoichi: It is unbecoming of royalty to whine about minor wounds, Reptile-sama. You may not be my master, but I am certain that your maids would be embarrassed to see their master crying over a kidney. You will grow a new one.

Me: but I want that one!


 * The kunoichi ignores my whining in favor of paying attention to the raptors who are slowly shedding the frilly garments Rhun put them in and moving into position to attack*

Kunoichi: These are the girls I was sent here to train? They look like mere lizards.

Me: Well there naturally as fast and agile as a fully trained kunoichi.

Alpha Raptor: YOU HURT MASTER!


 * The kunoichi looks at me, then back to the raptors, then shrugs dismissively*

Kunoichi: I'm not apologizing.


 * The raptors lunge at the Kunoichi, intent on repaying the wound given to me a thousand fold. However despite the fact that the raptors are moving too fast to be seen as anything other than a blur to the untrained eye, the kunoichi evades them with relative ease even going so far as to continue the conversation while doing so.*

Kunoichi: hmmm... they are swift. I can see why you requested that I train them. Any other kunoichi from our village wouldn't have been able to keep up.

Me: Yep.


 * With a short but loud whistle I get the raptors attention*

Me: Enough of that.

Alpha Raptor: but master...

Me: I'm fine ok? She's here to teach you not hurt me.

Kunoichi: actually Druella-sama has given orders to village to eliminate you if you side with the order, attempt to steal her mothers throne, or TP Lescatie again.

Me: that isn't helping.

Kunoichi: though fulfilling those orders are not my current objective. As promised in our contract, I shall train these girls in the proper way to utilize and improve their natural skills and how to behave and serve their master in a manner befitting of a maid and ninja.

Alpha Raptor: you'll teach us how to help master?

Kunoichi: to put it bluntly, yes.

Alpha Raptor: YAY!

Me: alright, I'll show you guys to the hyperbolic time chamber.