User blog:BTR180/Salamander/ HausSparrow

Ok, first WWYD for Salamander-san, cheep!

You are going through a swamp on your way to the nearest town, when two Salamanders come up to you, tails lighting up the dark, humid biome.

Like usual, they both want to fight you, and walk away as your wife, no matter the outcome. Almost stereotypical.

"HE WILL BE MINE!"

"NEVER IN A THOUSAND YEARS! YOU ALWAYS TAKE EVERYTHING, SIS!"

They then turn towards you in perfect unison, the same-ultra determined expression emblazoned on their beautifully tanned faces.

"FIGHT ME!" They cry out in unison.

In this situation, you're quite screwed.

What will you do?- HausSparrow 





I stand there silently looking at one then the other, I'm about to say something when suddenly Aabi yells at them.

Aabi: "Alright I'll fight you, you ugly, flat chested, dusty vag, assles whores who can't find a good man!" Ohh boy now she's done it. I unshoulder my sword and raise my greatshield and get ready for this fight. The salamander twins were definately surprised when Aabi responded instead of me. So now they think we're a woman, and they're mad that Aabi pretty much insulted everything a mamono prides themselves on.

Sal1: "Oh our one to talk! We thought you were a man!" Sal2: "We're more woman than you'll ever be!" They charge at us criss crossing to try to distract us. Little do they know that there are two of us in here. They jump on to the trees next to us and strike from both sides. We react simultaneously I raise the shield and Aabi blocks with the sword. Sal2: "How did you do that!" Sal1: "Raaaaah! Lucky block!" They jump away and circle us and keep striking at us together. Sal1: "Raaahh! How do you keep blocking!" She strikes from the back while her twin attacks from the front. I block the front attack with the shield while Aabi blocks the rear strike with the greatsword.

Aabi: "Ohhh what's the matter? I was worried at first that you two would put up a challenge. -giggle- I guess you two were all strut and no game!" The first salamanders flames start to explode and they regroup. Sal1: "OOOOOOHHHHH, I hate that bitch!" Sal2: -panting- "Sis, I... think... we shoud go... I hate to say this. But she's tough." Sal1: "HELL NO!" The first twin rushes in flames blazing hot, fire in her eyes like a hellhound.

Aabi: "Ohohohoho! They never learn..." Me: - Mumbles- "Don't kill her now..." Aabi: "No promises. NYAN!" Sal1: "I'll kill you, you bitch!" The salamander jumps into the air and tries to do a pluging attack and Aabi counters by punching her in the gut with the base of our greatshield. The salamander falls to the ground and starts to puke her guts out.

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;line-height:22px;"> Aabi: "Hey you! You're her sister right?" The second salamander nods "Well get her out of here! And don't talk to me mor my man again!"

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;line-height:22px;"> Sal2: "Your man?" Aabi removes the helmet and reveals my face.

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;line-height:22px;"> Me: "Hi."

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;line-height:22px;"> Sal2: "Wait he's your man? But we... your scent... you haven't claimed him have you?"

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;line-height:22px;"> Aabi turns cherry red and picks up the first twin and throws her at the second one. Aabi: "SHUT UP!" I put my helmet back on and we walk away.

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;line-height:22px;"> Me: "So I'm your man now?" Aabi:-blushing- "W-well uhh. I just, well I got carried away and well... yeah... I'm sorry!" Me: "Hm hm hm, don't worry about it." Aabi's face beams with joy Aabi: "Wait does that mean that we?" Me: "Don't think about it." Aabi: "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! I'm hyperventilating! Eeeeeeeep!"