Talk:Kraken/@comment-26380985-20160329154139/@comment-29602226-20170306193703

Me: "Billy! You can't eat a Kraken! They are like, part human...!"

Jake: "Also, giant squids have lots of ammonia in their blood, so they are inedible!"

Me: "PRIORITIES, GUYS! PART-HUMAN LADY THERE!!!"

Jake: "Mmmm... yes, if she's part human maybe she doesn't have ammonia in her blood and she's edible..."

Me: "WHY AM I EVEN HANGING WITH YOU TWO?!"

Billy: "If we split, and one of us dies, the other two won't be able to find his body and it will go to waste..."

Jake: *Nods*

Hearing that, I step back veeeery slowly, until I'm at fifty or so meters from them, then drop the fruit and start running, until I listen a voice "why are you running?"

Me: "Those two are crazy cannibals!"

Harpy: "Yeah, that's the reason we aren't taking them... You, on the other hand..." *grabs me and lifts me, taking me with her..."

Me: "Aren't you going to help the Kraken?"

Harpy: "The other squid-girls will take care of that. The Scyllas will butt-rape them with their tentacles until the DE turns them into Incubi, then the Mindflayers will turn them into squid dildos, remove their human memories and give them to the Sea Slimes to keep as pets..."

Me: "They may enjoy living as a Sea Slime's squid dildos..."

Harpy: "Hey, no need to be unnecessarily cruel... once they lose their human minds, they won't be psychos anymore, and they will be eligible as mates... But let stop speaking about that. Let speak about you..."

Harpy: "My sisters and me will need you only during mating season, so we are sharing you with our Goblin friends. Our Jinko friend and the pack of Werewolves will use you during their mating season too. They all have their mating season from November to April, so we'll have you from May to July. The Goblins will have you from August to October. We all live in the mountains... But we won't share you with the Ogre or with the Orc gang! They are jerks...!"