Thread:AngryLance/@comment-26517142-20191009083651/@comment-39280634-20191015121119

Okay, now for Mamono Quest. It was indeed a short read but i was fascinated to see how your character started out.


 * Sticky Situation: Huh. So he started out as Jerence. And he got ship-wrecked on that magic island (wonder what happened to all the other people. Also, Titanic reference, lol). Then he met Sebyl the Slime (who was NOT originaly a Drake Slime i see). They hit it off nice, their interactions funny and cute enough, Sebyl's a bit 'thirsty' though (made creepy by Jerence's perspective). She got pushy by traping him, then he nearly killed her by diving in water (this makes me think Mamono's don't really think things through at times, despite their good intentions). He then saves her (with a toilet bowl, lol). They soon get over it, Sebyl talks about some locations and Jerence decides to go on a journey home. From Jerence's headaches and voices he hears i can already see the foreshadowing of who and what he'l become later. And well done describing the physiological behavior of a Slime (how she melts, solidafies, shapeshifts, how she feeds, how she feels to the touch, etc).


 * A Document Unknown: I suppose this was a short filler. Shows us some legends and rumors about something omnious. Also, a glimpse of what happened before chapter 1 (i guess an Angel caused all that ?). And the 'Senev's Paths' thing foreshadows Jeiel's future waifus, i believe.


 * The Sweetest Flavor Part 1 (and only): More funny and lewd interactions between Jerence and Sebyl, all while traveling to Lescatie, passing some other places (that i sadly can't remember at the moment). And did Jerence actually bottled up his... and gave it to Sebyl ?! (ballsy move there, lol). A pity you couldn't make part 2, i guess you planned to introduce either a Grizly or a Honey Bee, right ?

Personal nitpick: " And like a certain game character once did, I shouted, 'HORA HORA!!'"... (-_-) I have no comment... (lol, i'm not mad, it's just that... you know)

A very decent start you had here with this, very endearing kind of isekai. And again, i can see how your character started out. Though i have to ask some continuity questions:

- Again, how did Sebyl got from standard Slime to Drake Slime ?

- I thought Sebyl actually 'tied the knots' with Jerence/Jeiel when they first meet ?

- And what happened that you couldn't continue it ? I assumed the story was continued through RP's and other (how Jerence changed his name to Jeiel, how he learned magic, how he met his wifes, how he became ruler of Oz, etc)