Talk:March Hare/@comment-24026095-20161205170237

50 Sheds of Grey

&lsquo;Suck it, suck it, suck it,&rsquo; I moaned, watching the march hare's magical mouth working up and down its length.

&lsquo;Yes, dear, I'm trying,&rsquo; she sighed,  &lsquo;but sucking a wounded finger doesn't heal it that fast.&rsquo;

''Crack. Crack. Crack.'' I swung my arm at just the right angle to hit the sweet spot. It takes meticulous effort to do this kind of job and get paid for it.

&lsquo;Good work, dear,&rsquo; my march hare girlfriend smiled. &lsquo;But you don't need to be so vigorous while dusting.&rsquo;

&lsquo;Ah!&rsquo; I squealed, struggling to squirm away from her probing finger and tool. It was no use, because she managed to slide her hand inside in one smooth motion.

&lsquo;Don't move so much, SPARTAN,&rsquo; sighed my march hare surgeon. &lsquo;I need to get this bullet out without any complications.&rsquo;

(This one is NOT what some of you masochists might assume it to be. Honest. ;))

&lsquo;Kick those balls! Harder, faster!&rsquo; I cheered, watching her foot swing outwards and connect with one. &lsquo;You can really send them flying out of here!&rsquo;

The aspiring march hare soccer player watched the ball fly neatly into the net. She turned around and chuckled. &lsquo;Maybe I can be a star.&rsquo;