Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-35898511-20190225083918/@comment-34904368-20190225120046

They call me “Sir Scorched Earth.”

I walked through town, with a massive duffel bag, full pockets, huge bagpack, and a few pouches. First thing I did was walk to the poorer area of the town. All ghetto and that stuff. I grew used to it.

I nonchalantly picked up a rock, winging it through a window and watching it shatter into glass shards. The man, presumably the owner of the house, burst out screaming bloody murder, but was greeted by a mouthfull of spray paint and a raw egg.

Strolling past a primary school full of kids, I pulled a massive glass jar from the duffel bag, and with all my force flung it over the gates. It exploded all over the monkey bars, showering the whole playground in wasp pheremones. I also dropped a shoebox full of crickets near the school doors. Fuck their school.

Coming upon the neighborhood suburbs, I began to scatter bamboo shoots in gardens and vinegar in the flowerpots and breaking toys their kids left outside. I spray painted a few cars windows, and snipped the fuel lines of a police car nearby.

Walking up to the police department, I texted a friend. Soon enough, police began to flood from the buildings into their cruisers and investigate the “order bombers.”

This left the entire station clear for me to break windows, set fire to doors, take money, pour salt water into car gas tanks, reak all their rifles in half, flush all the papers and files down the toilet to f]clog the drain, release caged rats to infest the building, and pour rotting meat all over the floors and under tiles.

I walked out and attended a small park, and by that I meant decimate it. I cut the swings off their bars, poured salt and bleach onto the metal benches, set fire to a wooden one, throw place mousetraps under bushes and beneath slides, and drill holes in local trees to put beetle eggs.

Sauntering out, I came to another block of houses. I poured honey around the foundations and broke all their roof tiles and took money from the houses. I also filled their heaters with dog shit, threw paint and bleach everywhere, dragged rakes across car doors, released termites into the neighborhood, and horsetail seeds went in every garden I could see.

Now the duffel bag was empty.

I began to throw rotting eggs and birdseed everywhere, broke bottles in driveways, lit a garden on fire, sprayed over important road signs, and broke into a closed shop.

First thing I did was break the cameras, then trash the counter, take all the money, break ALL the glass, melt the plastic, and throw stinkbombs everywhere. After I left I slashed a few delivery truck’s tires, and walked through more neighborhood areas.

First thing I did was break some doors open, and smash all the family photos and toys and whatever memeronilia they had. Then I turned on all the hearting, cooling, every electrical appliance, stove, oven, and light, then walk out. I poured glue in keyholes, smashed games consoles, put pins in the bedroom carpets and beds, and let their pets out all over the place.

Now the bagpack was empty.

Then some police showed up. The first one in recieved a painful paintball to the balls, and a few to the face, before I flipped a table full of half-eaten food on him. I climbed upstairs and poured gas on a rocking chair, before lighting that sucker up and kicking it down the stairs, hitting a few more of them.

I came into the childrens bedroom, and made sure drop some ant bait in her pillowcase and burn the family photo album before climbing onto the roof and dropping a bowling ball on their car. Fuck’em.

Suddenly, I felt a tackle from behind and was flung off the roof, onto a lawn, where I blacked out, but not before opening my coat to set off the flashbangs and pepper-spray bombs to the ten officers surrounding me.

I sit here writing this in the prison for the hardest criminals in the world. I am tied to a bed with a condom on and used for twelve hours by anyone with soare time. I get subjected to dildoes, ballgags, anal beads, and chastity for twelve hours a day.

Little do they know i’m a masochist.

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