User blog comment:ThanatosArisato/Exotic/@comment-29661846-20171211125938

A great response! The pacing and writing in general were superb! My only criticism is the grammar, specifically, dialogue should be divided by lines when multiple characters are speaking. If it's just one character, it's fine to keep it on the same paragraph, but if two or more characters are talking, seperate them, even if it's just a setence they're saying. Just makes the story look cleaner and its easier to understand who's talking.