User blog comment:Hakaishin Aro/The heart of a Lilim/@comment-39280634-20191211113431/@comment-39280634-20191211170037

Giving someone control to the Lilim ? Like an RP ? While i'm not super big on God of War (I admire the gameplay but I'm not exactly fond of Kratos; also, can't play any of the games cause I lack a Playstation), I really liked Stargate.

As for errors, let's see:

"The Echo's scream of rage tore trough the night" - typo

"... trough dreams and meditation." - another typo

"... extracting someone fro there..." - another typo

"... only a few persons in this world..." - maybe use 'people' there instead ?

"... for the little girl the scumbag Muzan was the man who made her and her mom happy after her real dad died and the Echo perceived that..." - the phrasing here is a little confusing for me, maybe you could use some more punctuation or something

"... her emotions told him that so he simply left." - I think you might need some punctuation here too.

That's all I could find for now in terms of errors. Hope it helps.