Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-35898511-20190902062245/@comment-34904368-20190902114552

“No.”

I dive past her, slamming an adaptor cable into the phone and then my laptop, using the wire to yank the phone from her grip, which i then swing out of reach. She then attempts to pull an arrow from her quiver, but I am ready for this.

I draw a hand from my pocket, throwing hot spaghetti into her eyes. She falls to her knees, just as I pull my beloved CS:Go karambit from its casing and slice her bowstring.

I turn to my laptop, quickly uploading the photos onto every social media platform, my hands already adding every single tag. As quickly as I hit upload, the Cupid slams the bow on my head and I tumble off the chair. Luckily, I have a plan of action.

I began to pelt the Cupid with chicken nuggets, before pulling a squeezy bottle of hunny mussie out and spraying it in her face like a yellow geyser. She goes down on her knees again, but this time I kick her down on her back and plant a foot on her chest and say:

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.