User blog comment:Parzival12/Desert Flower- A Pharaoh Fan Fiction- Chapter 2/@comment-27570904-20160301033618

Really liked it. Keep it up! Just as some constructive criticism the start where it's in third person and the just switches to first person had me a little confused at first. Make sure to be aware of that transition. Also, just some punctuation and grammar here and there but oval its great and I'm clamoring for more!