Talk:Apophis/@comment-28929693-20160708013822/@comment-31522620-20170320001025

We have a struggle and she stabs me in my right hand, proclaiming that I won't be masturbating anytime soon. I am of course absolutely incandescent about this, seeing as she has no right to take away my only fun times around the house, and force the knife from her hands.

"Well, if I can't relieve the stress with my hand.." I say, whipping out my dick, "..then I suppose you can help me in this endeavour." Rough, apalling, heretical acts ensue. She tells me five months later that this was her plan all along. I rub her five-months along belly, stating I had no regrets.