User blog:Redknight910/WWYD Wyvern HeartofLordNumidium

Prompt: Cynical Sword

I swear, I don't know why I still use this stupid piece of junk. Ducking the wyvern's dive, I start yelling at the sword.

"So, what is it this time! Feeling bored? Need a boot to the hilt?" I stick the blde into the ground, dragging it through with all the sharpness of a rubber hammer as I run.

"Eh, I've had my share of fighting, why don't you ever do anything fun with me? Like tickle someone?" Swearing again, I bring the blade up in a wide swing, the wyvern grabbing it with her claws and yanking it, throwing it off into the distance. I'm very tempted to pull out my backup weapon, but that'll be more trouble than it's worth once I get this bastard of a sword back.

Running, I duck, dive and dodge the wyvern's attacks, still pissed at my uncooperative weapon. "I don't suppose you could come back another time? When my sword actually feels like being a fucking sword!" Still yelling at the blade I'm running for, the wyvern halts for a moment.

"Why don't you use that other blade? Is it broken too?" I stop for a moment, panting a little as I scoop up the damnable blade.

"No, technically this one isn't broken either. But he'll throw a fucking fit if I try to use the other one, despite being the biggest pain in my ass since that manticore who slapped me with her tail." Rubbing my lower cheek as I recall the sting of three of those barbs in it.

"Maybe you should consider how I feel? It's not a great feeling just getting stabbed at everything all the time." I look down at the sword.

"I have asked you. Many, many times what you'd like to do. But when I need you to do something for me, oh no, that's too much effort, you'd rather make yourself blunt as a brick in the face than actually help me." Not looking at the wyvern, who's watching our conversation with a combination of confusion and worry, I keep arguing with my sword for a few more minutes, before he stops talking to me at all.

"Oh, great, the silent treatment, real fucking mature." Grumbling I just stab the blade into the ground and walk off, sitting a few meters away with crossed arms, the wyvern standing near the blade, all but forgotten.

"Umm... I'm just gonna, y-you're still meant to be running from me...." I shoot her a look of irritation.

"If it gets me away from him? Then fucking go for it." The sword shudders for a moment, before speaking again.

"If you hate me that much, then why haven't you sold me yet?" The question annoys me to no end, because he knows exactly why I haven't sold him, but always feels the need to ask.

"I couldn't stand to burden someone else with your annoying personality."

"That's not it."

"Maybe I just enjoy getting pissed off at my weapons?" I look and see the edge take on a shine, the blade sinking a little deeper into the ground.

"Still not the truth." I sigh and walk over to the prick of a sword, pulling it out of the ground and sheathing it.

"Because I was an idiot who promised I wouldn't, before I worked out how much of a jealous pain you were." There's a light chuckle, and I rap my knuckles against the scabbard. "Up yours, prick."

"If I still had one, maybe I'd let you." I throw my head back and groan, hearing a little giggle from behind me, followed by a gust of wind and a powerful flap of wings. Turning around I see the wyvern start hovering.

"So, ready for round two?" I look at my sheathed sword, and sigh, pulling him back out, the edge gleaming with its sharpness.

"I am, don't know about the blade." Again, there's a chuckle.

"Only one way to find out." The wyvern smiles and hurtles towards us, I dive to the side, lashing out with my blade, I can't see the cut, but the gasp I hear is enough to tell me I got her. Spinning around to see her, she's got a slice through her tail, not deep, but blood has definitely been drawn.

"About time." I grumble, seeing the sword dull for a moment before shining up again.

"Don't tempt me." I just smirk, charging into the wyverns next attack, spinning around in a strike that would of cleaved both her legs off, instead the blade passes through her without injury, and she collapses to the ground, breaking out into a fit of giggles.

"Really? Tickling?" I can hear the spirit shrug.

"I asked why couldn't I." Sighing I walk up to the wyvern, trying to get control of herself again, I just start pricking her with the tip of the blade, which she tries to fend off weakly. After a few more pokes she starts begging for mercy, and I pull back, giving her a moment to recompose.

"Hehe, y-you reahahally have a fickle blade, but iiiit's quite effective." I chuckle, and put the sword back in it's sheath.

"Yeah, he's a pain, but when he wants to work, he works well." She gives me a big smile, folding her wings around herself comfortably.

"I've been trying to abduct a husband for a long while now, but you're the first one to be able to drive me off on your own. Twice even! Maybe I should follow you for a bit. I promise, no raping. Not from me, at least." Her mischevious grin makes me wonder about that, but it would be nice to have someone to talk to other than my stubborn sword.

"Sure. I feel like I've been going crazy with just this guy to deal with." There's a light grumbling from the sword, but no serious complaints.

"Just... ease up on the tickles, okay? It hurts after a bit." I nod, starting to walk away, and smiling as she steps up into line beside me. Well, this should be a nice change of pace, at least.