Thread:ImperialFish/@comment-25720867-20150103151939/@comment-25720867-20150104193931

ImperialFish wrote: Okay...? Any chance you could point out a few mistakes? I shouldn't have any spelling errors, so what exactly do you mean?

Spelling errors, there are, though their few. Sometimes there are certain key words in sentences that should be, yet their not there.

Example: Gavin walked the streets alone.

Corrected: Gavin walked through the streets alone, late at night. (I added "late at night", because it makes the sentece sound more pleasant.)

You need to make sentences pleasant to the readers.

Example: Already the guild had taken his wagon and horse to pay his debt

Correction: The guild had already confiscated his wagon and horse, in order to make up for his debt.

The internal structuring of the sentences is messed up. Its chaotic.

Though I appreaciate your enthusiasm, and value your capability of story telling, it is the part where you break your mind trying to write it all down that downgrades you.

Simple way to say it, you need to get better at writing.