Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-28718853-20181031134713/@comment-36855838-20181102152024

BloodyJester wrote:

I pushed my glasses up, looking at the Cerberus-like Hellhound with curiosity.

I’d never seen a Mamono like this, not since I delivered a pizza to that six-armed Manticore and her husband.

“Well, you’re certainly, um….unique.” I said, trying to keep calm in the face, well faces, of the imposing Mamono in front of me. “You like what you see?” the left head asked.

“I’ll be honest, I’m curious about you. Three heads on one body? How does that work? Who controls what?” I asked.

“How about, you give us pizza and we’ll tell you.” the center head replied, a huge smile spreading on all three faces, the other two liking that idea.

“Let me deliver this one to your mistress, and I’ll get you another one from the car. Deal?” I offered, extending a hand.

She turned away from me, the three heads having a makeshift group huddle for a bit before turning back to me and taking my hand into one of her big paws.

“Deal.” All three said in unison, then led me through the gate, not releasing my hand the whole time. Practically dragging me up the steps of the castle, a Kikimora answered the door and paid for the delivery.

Before I could even thank her, I was picked up by the Cerberus and carried out to my delivery car. “Thanks for the-"

“PIZZA!” The left head roared, mouth nearly frothing.

“I smell BACON ON ONE!” The right head gushed, drooling a little.

“Which one has Bacon? (We all like Bacon.)” The center head asked, calm as opposed to the other two, but I saw her wiping away a little drool herself.

She set me down, and I grabbed my delivery list.

Only one pizza in the car had bacon, the XXXL Meat Lovers that I had to put in the trunk because it didn’t fit anywhere else.

This hefty thing was fifty dollars to order, and was fifteen pounds of meat, cheese and dough.

“I can’t give this away, I’d lose my job.” I said quietly, moving to block them but as soon as I had said that, the Cerberus was behind me. “GIANT PIZZA!!!” All three heads yelled out, and leaped.

I managed to roll out of the way as she landed in the trunk, all her mouths devouring the pizza, but the force of her landing in the car knocked the parking brake loose, and the car slowly started to roll towards the edge of the land bridge.

“SHIT!” I cried, running after the car.

I managed to snag a foot and in a rush of adrenaline-fueled strength, pulling her out just as the car fell over the side, the pizza still in her hands.

We both looked over the side as the car exploded in the lava, and I fell onto my butt in exasperation.

“Well, there goes my job.” I sighed, punching the ground.

“Pizza?” The left head asked, a paw held out with a slice of the giant pizza.

I smiled a little, taking the pizza and eating it rather fast, as I hadn’t had lunch yet.

“You don’t need that job anyway.” The center head responded as she scooped me up. “I didn’t think we’d be saved from death today, much less by a human.”

Suddenly my face was assaulted by three big Hellhound faces, kissing and licking my face.

“We’ll take care of you, little guy.”

I lost my job, but gained my beautiful Cerberus wife Jill, who has three times the sex drive of a normal Hellhound.

I separated paragraphs, added parentheses, and added a Noun to the last sentence.