Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-44464716-20200107035054/@comment-43782881-20200829063643

I blink in surprise as I stare at my sudden surroundings-a big empty room with a stage surrounded by lights and cameras. That weird paper slip I took off the bulletin board! I never bother with those things. "What's going on?" I demand. The man with the microphone explains the rules to me. "And what if I refuse to participate?" "Well sir, we didn't make you come here. But if you don't play the game, we will allow these three lovely contestants to go after you themselves." I stare daggers into him.

"Pushy. Alright I'll play." It's not like there's much of a game for me. I am heavily predisposed against 2 out of the three species and have a middling opinion of the third. After staing at them for a bit I think of my first question. "What would you do if you met a man who was unwilling to engage in sexual relations with you?" The Cheshire Cat smirks.

"I would toy and tease with him until he begs for-" Bleh. I've stopped listening. As if her chances weren't already low enough, now they're in the negatives.

"I would be very gentle with him until he was uh, willing to be with me". The Kikimora stutters. She's blushing kind of cutely. But there's another lady yet to answer.

"I would tempt him with my luscious body". Damn. Miss anubis does look the nicest out of all of them. I already know what my next question will be".

"Alright then. Question 2- What do you do if your husband is disorganized?"

"Who cares about organization? If we have to keep everything clean we have less time for fun!" Aww. Kitty here sounds like my kind of girl. Almost. I burst out laughing. The 2 dog girls are furious at her answer.

"Well, I would be sure to keep his space clean despite his habits", the kikimora said. "I care about the appearance of one's living space, unlike some people!" She's glaring at the cat, who's raising her tail in anger.

"Both of you settle down! Any man who I marry will bcome organized!" The anubis declared. I nodded. Exactly the kind of answers I expected from them.

"Question 3. How do you feel if your husband has multiple wives?"

"Ooh, even more girls to have fun with?"

"Oh, well, I don't mind...much" The kikimora's voice goes quiet and I can barely hear her answer.

"Am I not enough to satisfy my husband's desires?" Then I would take that as a failure on my part and aim to address it." She looks away from me. "But...if my husband really found another woman that he was strongly attached to...perhaps I could make an exception".

"Great! Final question...uh, lemme think for a minute." There's a zillion things I could ask them. How do they feel about balancing one's relationships with other parts of their lives, how do we decide where to live? Kids? But finally,

"Where would we live if we were together?"

"In Wonderland."

"I would move to your home".

"My Pharaoh's palace where we would serve her and the kingdom". Oh, like an entire lifetime of knowing exactly where I'm living and what I'm doing with my life?" I'm sold! It's a bit of a shame, the kikimora was actually starting to change my mind with her answers. Perhaps in another life...

"Well, Miss, I have to say, between your answers and your stunning beauty, you've alrady taken my heart. What's your name?" The anubis grins.

"I'm Saffron. It's a pleasure to meet you, husband. Shall we depart?"

"Can we talk about a few things before going to your home?"

"I suppose. But I will need to return soon, my Pharaoh is expecting us back soon." As we leave the studio. I get one last look at the remaining contestants, their ears drooping, the man with the microphone waves. The door opens out into the building that I was in when I pulled the slip. How convenient! We walk down the street hand in hand. I glance at my wife. Her tail is wagging a little and it's the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. At home she glances at the few rooms, makes a face at the few things scattered across various surfaces, and leads me straight to the bedroom. She walks in, sitting on the bed and gestures for me to join her. "I see that your question about organization was not a hypthetical one. We will have to do something about it. Later." She presses up against me and I'm feeling very nervous.

"That's not the only question that was hypothetical. I haven't had much practice with uh, you know.Could we please just go slowly?" She smiles and gives me a kiss which makes my head spin.

"I would love to".

Myconid, Cyclops, Black Harpy