Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-24026095-20170128003438/@comment-24026095-20170131203647

The Reptile King wrote: Your house is on fire. &lsquo;Well, DUHHHH, of course it is, dear. You were so drunk last night, you kicked down the door, screamed out my name while ripping your pants to shreds, and stormed up the stairs to find my &ldquo;whore housewife ass&rdquo; as you called it. Then you found me cowering under the bed and dragged me out by my pointy rabbit ears. Please do that again tonight, it hurt so bad it was good. You then tore my new bra and panties which I bought for you ten minutes ago, heedless of my screams of mercy and begging you to be gentle, and started ravaging me like a horse crossed with a lion who hadn't fucked in five decades. While you were ramming your cock deep into my sloppy, aching cunt for the two hundred and fiftieth time (and my five thousand and six hundredth orgasm), there was a spark between our crotches which ignited some spilled cooking oil on the floor near us as we destroyed the entire kitchen with our vigorous fucking and set the whole house on fire. You see? It's all your horny fault, but I'll love you forever for those few hundred thousand orgasms you gave me tonight. What did you do anyway? Did you eat all the demonic fruit you could find, or were you fucking around with some witch who put an aphrodisiac spell on you? Be honest now, I hate you in case you cheated on me, but I'd like to thank that witch or lilim for making you a better lover and THEN kick her slutty fucking ass.&rsquo;