User blog comment:MockingJester/Jade eyes/@comment-32042142-20190101191838

So, I don't really know where to begin with.

It's a very good story, no need to even specified it at this point in your case. Good job!

I'm not really sure to understood your intentions with this story, judging by your comment on the Amazonness's comment section, it was more some kind of slightly modified version of the Amazonness that you prefer. Some kind of 'what I would like to see about them', to use your own words. (Correct me if I'm wrong).

And indeed, there is a thick layer of interpretation in your story, in fact, at the beginning I was really confuse about what was happening, I was trying to understand what monster were the jade eyes, and I've felt like they were too much added, to the point it was expecting one of those concept where it's MGE, but tons upon tons of rules are overwritten, or where the only monster of the story is a complete original monster.

But then I realise : What you did is actually pretty awesome.

You see, in MGE fan-fiction, we already know everything, we already know every profile, every monster, how they act, and generally they just act excatly how the profile describ them, and because of that, the simple fact I couldn't identify the monster make me really confuse, because I'm not use to that at all, I'm used to perfectly understand what's happening, what's monster there is, why they act like that, etc...

And that's actually pretty sad, because there is nothing to discover, the usual story only take the concept as they are.

Now, in this story, you give a identity to an Amazoness's tribe, you didn't just take the profile and just go with it, you give them a slightly different style, culture. And it actually make a lot of sense, it would be very logical that every Amazoness tribe have differences in their culture/armor/combat style/etc...

And by adding this layer of 'interpretation' (it's not really an 'interpretation' but a personal choice in their style), the reader actually discover a new tribe of Amazoness, or at least a new 'concept' but based on an existing mamono. The tribe described in the story is not the exact same tribe described in the profile, it have his own identity.

At the same time, it's really faithfull to the profile's description, the core of the mamono is still the same, so we quickly find our bearing regarding what we already know.

The only thing I would have against it, is that the whole 'jade power' seem a bit too powerful and convenient, his role and operation a bit vague. (Well, my english is limited so it may be my own fault for not understanding what was hapenning)

If I'm not mistaking, the actual purpose of this story was to show a way where Amazon actually do good by 'kidnapping' men, and what you use for that is quite extreme, since they take only men on the verge of death and save them.

I'm not sure if they also take man who are not hurted, but I'm not really fond of the solution you pick, since it's seem a bit too convenient. Also the fact that even children are watching the ritual is probably what disturb me the most. x)

As I said, it's a very very good story, I would really love to see more things with 'interpretations' like that, Amazoness's tribe which have their own identity, things like that wichs add identity to the entities of the story, without seemingly completly overwriting the canon lore.