Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-27303410-20180516212853/@comment-28718853-20180802165622

With my speed to the max I rush for the exit along with many other single men not interested in a sudden relationship. Many of the males among us are quickly snatched up, greatly reducing the number who are still racing for the door. I trip, but that appears to be a blessing in disguise as a Youko flies over me and nabs the man in front, dragging him to the floor.

"You'll pay for this!" my buddy Chucky shouts to my new sister-in-law Karen as a Black Harpy flies him up to the rafters.

The remainder of us crash through the exit, though a few unfortunate ones are dragged back into the cathedral by their soon to be new wives. Many of the men scramble for their vehicles in the parking lot as a ravenous horde of mamono pour out of the building. Unfortunately, my car is currently in the shop, so I had my stepbrother Dale drive me here. However, he's married, and I'm not plus he gets really finicky if so much as a scratch gets on his thirty-year-old pickup truck.

I dash for the hill with the hope of reaching the tree at the bottom so I could call him. Any surviving men who hadn't successfully gotten into their vehicles were grabbed and raped by the horny monster girls. My time is limited, and witnessing a Minotaur rip off the driver's side door and tear the failed escapee out of his one ticket to avoid marriage isn't helping my anxiety at all.

Something clutches my shoulders and I struggle like a wild deer trapped in vines. "Your sweat smells tasty!" the female voice coos. I glance behind me to see a grinning Beelzebub and fight even harder. Eventually, I succeed in slipping out of my suit jacket and continue to flee toward the hill.

"Hey!" the mamono cries, but I peek behind me in time to see a Harpy crash into her carrying a man who was dressed in all black with a long-sleeve t-shirt, snowcap, cargo pants, and hiking boots.

Without wasting my newfound opportunity, I jump across the barrier and tumble down the hill. Moans of pleasure emanate from the parking lot as I scramble to my feet and duck behind the tree.

My entire body is trembling as I whip out my phone and dial Dale's number. Thankfully, he answers right away. "Yo bro, what's up?" he asks with a slurred voice. "Dale, listen I need you to come pick me up right away!" I whisper frantically. "Whoa dude, you sound freaked out. How was the wedding?" Dale asks me. "It was hell! As soon as one of the mamono caught the bouquet they started grabbing and raping every single man they could get their hands on!" I explain quietly.

"Really? It broke into an orgy and you didn't join in?" Dale asks with a snicker. "Hell no! You know I don't participate in that kind of stuff!" I whisper, irritated at how my stepbrother could crack a joke at a time like this.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA chill bro I'm joking. I'm still a little hung over and I'd rather not spend the night in a jail cell, so it's gonna be a while before the booze wears off," Dale replies. I sigh in frustration and mutter, "Alright, but the second you're sober you bring your ass to the cathedral. I'm at the tree below which is right next to the road you drove on."

"Got it bro. Stay safe now, those sexy monster babes can pounce on you when you least expect it," Dale says. "Yeah yeah just get here soon," I whisper and then hang up. With a soft grunt I fold my arms and kick the dirt. My stepbrother just HAD to be drinking while I was in distress. Granted, none of this was his fault, but still these circumstances were annoying nonetheless.

I hear the unnerving sound of branches shifting and leaves shaking. My look up and nearly have a heart attack as an Ushi-Oni stares down at me with an evil grin. "I hope your friend doesn't get here too quickly. It would abruptly kill the mood," she says as she jumps from the tree and lands directly on top of me, pinning me to the ground. Another struggle ensues as I try to break free, but this arachnid is too strong, and she wastes no time in tearing my clothes off.

About an hour later my exhausted body is lying in the Ushi-Oni's lap. "That was so much fun dear," she says with a proud smile. Her eyes perk up to the left of the road and adds, "And look, I think your friend is coming!"

I crane my neck to see a pair of yellow headlights attached to a familiar white pickup truck coming up the road. It pulls up alongside us and the passenger side door opens revealing a grinning Dale. "Hey bro, sorry to hear that your wedding got crashed, but it seems like something good came out of it," he says with no hint of shame in his voice.

"I'm soooo excited," I mumble with as much sarcasm as I can muster. It would have been great if he had appeared sooner.

The Ushi-Oni giggles and picks me up off the ground saying, "Oh, don't start making excuses dear. We had a lot of fun and you know it!  Were it not for the wedding then I never would have met my perfect soulmate!"

She loads me into the truck and climbs into the bed. "Hey hey hey watch the legs! I don't want you scratching up my truck now!" Dale warns as he adjusts his rearview mirror to get a better view of her face. I sigh and buckle up. Once I shut the door Dale begins to drive us back to her house.

On the way he gives me a mischievous smirk and asks, "So, what are your plans for the future with her?"

I groan in annoyance at his joke, but then a thought comes to mind. With the events that occurred tonight, I won't be teased for being a virgin anymore. On top of that, my new wife's webbing could prove useful for any construction projects I have in mind. Plus I heard that Ushi-Onis are quite cuddly. Maybe my new life won't be so bad after all.