Talk:Pharaoh/@comment-31401828-20170409082858/@comment-29435884-20170411130237

I pull off a combat roll across the room to the middle of the dance floor, where I amaze everyone with my sweet moves and waltz out while all their jaws are hanging down. It would have been so fucking cool. Totally. Flavour of the desert kingdom for years. Small problem....I can't do that shit when I'm sober, and at the moment I'm 8 beers and a cheeky joint of desert grass in the back room down. So what actually happens is I end in a crumpled heap at Meriti's feet, looking like an absolute spud. My wife shakes her head and sighs. "We talked about this rapture, would it kill you to show some restraint once in a while?" I mumble something semi-coherent about mummies doing the thriller dance and attempt to stand before stacking it again. Meriti's long suffering giant cobra, who I'm told is not actually named 'Fangs McGee' begins dragging me to the living quarters while my wife shows the now royally cunt blocked apophis queen the door. Once the dust settles my wife walks in looking absolutely furious. "This was Sharee's birthday present you moron, the orgy, the fake takeover, the threesome, all of it! do you have ANY IDEA how long all this took to set up?!" I um and err for a while before settling with "a while?" And that ladies and gents is why I'm sleeping on the couch again.