User blog:Ore-samma/Short-shot; Red Oni (Drinking game) (no lewd)

Hello fans, Ore-Samma here!

From another forum post = https://monstergirlencyclopedia.fandom.com/f/p/4400000000000068262/r/4400000000000452392

Another fan request; this one was really fun! no difficulty at all to write!

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Hope you like it!

Ever your Servant-

Ore-Samma

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“I’m telling you Mark! It’s not going to work!”

“You’re an idiot, Robert! How in the world am I going to lose? There’s no possible way!”

“Nope-nope- I said no! If you’re gonna be that much of a dumbass! Do it yourself!”

I scoffed and waved Robert off. “Fine! And when I win, I’m not gonna share my winnings with you!”

“No! What’s going to happen is you’re gonna wake up the next morning a married, hungover man!”

“How many times do I have to tell you-”

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*SLAM*

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“-that you can’t get drunk from drinking only water!” I finished to the door.

That idiot Robert. Some people were just that stupid I guess.

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“The Oni drinking hut!” I said aloud as I looked at the establishment. This was it. I was gonna get rich off of this idea!

I strode right in and bought a round of sake for the entire place, getting everyone’s attention… all according to plan.

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Later, two Red Oni’s sat next to me. “Say there handsome! What’s with the buying everyone a drink?”

“Oh, it's just something I do. Sometimes I do that, sometimes I bet on drinking games.”

Both their eyes lit up. “Drinking game you say?” She moved closer, her full breasts pressing against my arm. “You play drinking games with Oni’s?”

“Yep. The game is, whoever passes out, or loses control to rape, or gives up; loses.”

“Oooh! I like this game!” The Red Oni purred leaning and squishing closer.

“Me too!” The other one chimed in, squishing me as well.

“Okay, got money?”

“Question is, do you?”

I shook my head. “I don’t bet my money. I spend it. I bet my hand in marriage.”

At the word marriage, the entire bar fell silent. The only thing you could hear was a collective intake of air.

“Did you say, marriage?” The Oni said, her eyes sparkling.

“Yep. Here’s the deal; We each chose our beverage. We drink until one loses. The loser pays up; gold for you, marriage for me.”

The bar suddenly erupted into a chaotic uproar of twenty Oni’s wanting to take the challenge.

“Ladies! Ladies! Please!” I said holding out my arms. “There’s an easy way to settle this. Why don’t you all bet against me! And I keep going until all of you are passed out, or give up, and if I lose you keep going for the victor amongst yourselves!”

They immediately liked that idea and in no time; there was a pile of gold coins on the betting table against my hand in marriage.

“Okay, ladies. Choose your drinks.”

And of course, they all chose sake.

With all eyes turned to me, I just said to the barkeep. “Pour me an ice water.”

I grinned but the first Oni had an even bigger one. “Say, what’s your name?”

“Mark.” I said with a grin.

“Mark, just to be clear. The person who leaves this bar while the other is standing... loses, right?”

I nodded, “Right!”

She set her cup down. “Mark, prepare to get married.”

I groaned internally. Didn’t this oaf know that I was drinking water?

You almost had to feel sorry for the sheer amount of idiots in the world.

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However, it wasn’t long before I caught on to what they were doing.

Every time the twenty that bet against me took a drink. They all exhaled with an exaggerated “aaaaaahhhhh” Always together, always in unison…. Always in my face.

At first I was disgusted by the vulgar act. But as the night wore on into the day, I realized the mistake I made as I got up to pee (again) when my legs felt very wobbly.

“Woah...what’s guh- guh…..going….on?” I said feeling light headed and dizzy.

“Ooooohhh! Lick (hic) luck (hic) lak (hic) Loook, (hic) lay-lay- hic -ladies! Is our Markie-Mark suddenly woozy-poozy?”

The remaining five all broke out in laughter and slammed their fists to the table and broke out into that same stupid song they were singing all night and into the afternoon.

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' “Fourrrrrr hundred-and-seven-teen cups of sake in hand- sake in my hand! You pound one down, and what’s to be found- this Oni’s gonna get married to a man!” '

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I stumbled to the bathroom and felt the world spin, remembering Robert and his warning to me….warning that I would wind up drunk and married…..Oh….oh shit.

I stumbled back. Not all hope was lost. Fifteen of the Oni’s were snoring away. I made it this far! I would win!

Drink after drink… exhale after exhale…. One pee break after another….it came down to me and the first Oni that approached me.

“I got-got-got-ta hand it do ya!  (hic)  I’ve neh-neh-neh- (hic) Nehvuh bean this drunk befurrrr.” She slurred in my face.

I hiccupped as well, feeling her hot alcohol-laden breath set my lungs on fire.

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The world spun and spun. She waited, it was my turn…. Could barely see before me as I reached for my water glass.

The last thing I knew was ginormous red tits rushing to meet my face.

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(pov shift)

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“Wooo!” I screamed, holding that pretentious ass, Mark above my head like a trophy.

“Ladies! This girl here is no longer single! In your face! I got a husband!”

“Congrats!” The Blue Oni bartender said, applauding. “What are you gonna do with the winnings?”

I looked at the pile of gold. “Ohhh- hic- how- about you get me a room for two nights, and a bottle of sake, a bottle of champagne.” I looked at my new husband, I was already quivering with excitement for our first night. “Maybe a bottle of water, and lots of headache medicine!”

“Okay, there’s still a lot of gold left.”

I shook my head. “Nah, it should be just enough.”

“Enough for what?”

I looked at my sleeping comrades. “To pay their tab. Thanks barkeep!” I cheered as I grabbed my bottles, and medicine. I slung my husband over my shoulder and walked up the stair to a joyously cheering crowd.