Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-31749612-20170704173658/@comment-29435884-20170706115430

I stare at the devil bug in front of me, she stares back. Without breaking eye contact I back away from her down the corridor, hoping that if I keep staring her down she'll be paralyzed. I'm not sure why I thought this would work, but the sight of a giant cockroach has me terrified.

The roach begins walking towards me with a lustful smile, I break out in a cold sweat. I realise I can hear scuttling from the adjacent rooms. Shit! theres more of them fuck this! leg it! The next few minutes are spent in a mad dash, glimpses of roach-women charging and that ever present scuttling sound. As I run I begin to develop tunnel vision, the panic makes everything worse. This is like that one trip on dodgy acid all over again.

I'm lost. Is this how it all ends? cockroach rape in a rental property? Nope. fuck that. I'm a pro sharehouser hardened by some of the most run down shitholes on the market. No rich people pad is going to be the end of me. I turn to the approaching devil bugs and yell at the top of my lungs "By the power of H.P Lovecraft I call ye forth Shoggoth!" and no one is more surprised than me when an echoing multi-toned voice answers "No need to yell...master."

And there she was, out of fucking nowhere, a shog approaching from the dark. "Wha? what the?" I begin before she places a finger to my lips. "Basement" she tells me "I've been living in the basement for years. We can get acquainted in a moment master, let me deal with this...vermin infestation first." In all my born days I've never seen a pack of roaches fuck off so quick.

After that, the party was a success especially with my new missus/maid helping me prepare. I still want my rental deposit back.