Talk:Cancer/@comment-26115871-20150913171108/@comment-24026095-20170312150828

I throw a Poké Ball. &lsquo;GO, KINGLER! USE GUILLOTINE!&rsquo;

Kingler flies at the cancer ... and stops.

The cancer squeals in delight. &lsquo;Ara, ara, I didn't know we had incubi who looked so much like me! Would you like to stay with me so I can wash your junk with these everyday?&rsquo; She lets out a stream of bubbles on Kingler and his body starts gleaming like polished rock. Kingler's eyes turn to hearts and he nuzzles up against the cancer.

&lsquo;Hora, hora, he's so cute! Thanks for giving me a new boyfriend, human! If you've got more of them in those weird balls, release them so my friends won't be lonely too! We're off to our honeymoon, BYEEEEEE!&rsquo;

The cancer and Kingler run off super-fast despite having tiny crab legs. I'm left there standing with my mouth open, one less Pokémon to use in the Kanto League, a broken heart, and an empy Poké Ball in the grass in front of me.

Son of a bitch.