User blog:ArmInAss/Archer, you're a dead man!

“WHAT IN LILITH’S NAME ARE YOU DOING HERE, DANNY?!”

That voice. Eros, please let it not be even one of them… Well, by all rights, I should not be doing this thing.

I did not have even one gut to look behind me, even most of my clients looked scared shitless at whoever’s behind me now. No one dared to open his mouth at the moment we’ve heard that voice.

I heard the footsteps come closer and closer until it’s behind me…only did I managed to look behind me.

And replace the “it’s” with “they’re”. By the demons, I did not imagine that ALL of them, Selena, Vanessa, Mina, Angela, Lana, Melissa, Sophia, Anna, Tara and Diana would be here, catching me with my pants down. And they have the look of a pissed off teacher catching her student doing some dirty work.

I need to take a chance; I must come up with an excuse.

I began “Umm…girls...” and right away, Angela cuts me off “No excuses, Danny. YOU MADE US ALL WORRIED! WE SEARCHED FOR YOU EVERYWHERE! Lescatie…Polove…”

“Angela, this is not what you think…”

“…Zipangu…Mist Continent…we looked for you everywhere!” She continued in the midst of my response.

“And to see you doing something bad?” Selena cuts in “And we DID NOT expect that you’re doing SOMETHING WORSE!”

I gestured to the crates on my side. “I…uh…don’t know what you’re talking about.” Yeah, it would be too rude to open up a gift that is supposed to be given to another.

Selena gestured to one of your clients “Young man, will you please open up what he wants to give you?” And surprise… even that he and his buddies had an AK on their hands and that he can just blow her to pieces, like a pup abiding his master, he opened up the crates. Yes, you can say that facing a group of Medusa (Selena), Amazoness (Vanessa), Baphomet (Mina), Dragon (Angela), Lizardman (Lana), Wight (Melissa), Manticore (Sophia), Shirohebi (Anna), Will-O-The-Wisp (Tara) and Anubis (Diana) would be a part of “100 Ways to Get Raped By Monsters”, but come on, how could they call themselves warriors if they are afraid of even one girl?

Aaaand…the answer won’t do anything anyways, because there goes the secret; they have seen my merchandise: rocket-propelled grenades, AKs, ammo, dynamites…

At that point, there’s no plausible excuse left to fire on.

“Ummm…they’re just toys...”

But that won’t change the outcome. Lana took hold of one arm while Angela grabs the other. No, not in the romantic way, that way a cop would restrain a crook. That’s it, I’m done for.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Ey, Mista’ Achah? Woah, wat dis’ monsters doin’ ‘ere?”

<p class="MsoNormal">And for the moment, one unlucky bastard comes to join the fray. The leader of the rebels, Captain Rambo, walks casually up to us and asks “Wat yo’ business ‘ere? Tailin’ Achah?”

<p class="MsoNormal">“None of your business.” Selena answered with a cold glare.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Tsk…tsk…tsk…no..no..no, no girl jus’ go in an’ disturb us.” The dumb schmuck, dumb as ever dumb, takes out his Colt Anaconda and aims it at Selena’s face. Fuck it, I won’t let someone die because of I did something wrong. “Rambo, get that gun off her face.” I warned with a firm tone.

<p class="MsoNormal">Rambo just ignored me and kept berating Selena “Me ain’t gettin’ insult at me own place, bitch.” If only my hands were free, I would have my hand on my holster, where my “Baby Eagle” is kept.

<p class="MsoNormal">Turns out Selena did not need my help after all. Her eyes just glowed, and in what there could be no better timing, all of the idiots were focused on Selena, and in effect turning their hands and feet into stone.

<p class="MsoNormal">“AHH!-mmm….” The idiots were screaming at the top of their lungs, shocked at what happened to them and learned in a hard way that pissing off a monster is a bad idea, before their mouths were petrified as well. Now only their eyes can move.

<p class="MsoNormal">Selena turned to me with the same cold glare “Utter scum…and you deal with them.”

<p class="MsoNormal">-

<p class="MsoNormal">Now I am being dragged by my wives into a portal, and here I am, trying to still forestall the inevitable horror that awaits me in the form of Mum.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Wait! WAIT! Don’t tell Mum. Please!”

<p class="MsoNormal">“This is the worst you’ll be getting into and no longer after this.” Melissa chided.

<p class="MsoNormal">“I…I’m really searching for diamonds that I can give you!”

<p class="MsoNormal">“And we’re not accepting those, if that’s what you’re asking.” Angela answered.

<p class="MsoNormal">   “Haven’t you learned what Mummy said?” Mina asked “That stealing is bad?”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Well, I…”

<p class="MsoNormal">“You should save your sorries to Mummy!”

<p class="MsoNormal">Mina’s right. I have to say something once I face Mummy. No more struggling for me and excuses are for later on.

<p class="MsoNormal">Tough luck, isn’t it? Danny Archer, you’re a dead man.

<p class="MsoNormal">[TO BE CONTINUED]