Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-32558333-20170719002408/@comment-30700719-20170719024544

I looked around at the antechamber. The cameras were rolling, and everyone else had a different reaction. One guy was huddling in the corner. Another was literally bouncing off the walls, doing walljumps. The third was holding his sword aloft and saying things like "No monster can defeat a Paladin!" The fourth was pretty chill with it. I checked my emotions and discovered I was a hybrid of all four. I unholstered my Raging Judge and checked the ammo. The first six .454 Casull rounds were made of Demon Realm Silver, with another six rounds of DRS buckshot. After that, I'd have to shoot rubber bullets in order to be nonlethal. An old-fashioned air raid siren went off, and the door slowly slid open. It ceased its howl just as the door opened all the way. "Contestants! You will have at least thirty minutes until the Hunters are released! Your task is to either escape this dungeon or evade the Hunters for ten minutes! Begin!" We all bolted forward, and the door fell shut with a slam.

The cowardly guy immediately jumped into a barrel. I looked at it, then called the Paladin over. "Come help me with this! We'll move it over to that pile of barrels, and they'll never suspect a thing!" The man clanked over in his suit of armour and helped me slide it over to the other barrels. "Stay safe," I told the guy in the barrel. He nodded and pulled the lid down. The ninja who was leaping off the walls disappeared into the dungeon. There's no way a Wurm could catch something as fast-moving as that guy. The fourth guy simply looked at me and nodded. He sauntered over to me and shook my hand. "I reckon we can win this, if we join forces," he said. I nodded. "Yeah. Only one can win though, right?" He smirks. "Don't worry about it. Once we get to the exit party, one of us can hide in a barrel, while the other one gets the cash. You may not get the money, but at least you won't get raped on live television. They'd never expect one of us to hide so close to the exit." I grinned. "Alright, then. Off we go."

We had come about halfway through the maze when a klaxon echoed through the place. "Well, that's our play dates, come to find us. Let's make sure that doesn't happen." We kept going. A few minutes later, the faint sound of twisting metal came from ahead of us. "Unhand me, you foul heathens! The Chief Goddess will protect—" I shake my head. "Well, the Paladin's gone. So that leaves the Coward, the Flash, the Frood, and the Pilot." I notice my companion's confused face. "I took the liberty of nicknaming everyone in that starting antechamber. You're the Frood, I'm the Pilot. Don't worry, being called a frood is a complement." He nods. Suddenly, a Wurm pops out from behind a corner in front of us. "Food..." I grab the guy's arm and bolt the other way. "Quick, follow me!" I lead him through a doorway, then burst through a second. As we rush by, I spot a Wurm holding a barrel over her head like a Hyrulian boy clad in green. With a start, I recognise the barrel as being the hiding place of the Coward. We keep running. "They're everywhere!" yells the Frood. I turn around and whip out my Raging Judge. I close one eye, lining up the sights, then pull the trigger. The DRS round punches directly through the Wurm's chest, then a second shot hits her throat. A third and final shot to the head makes her slump to the ground in exhaustion. "All right, the others will have heard those shots. We gotta move."

We finally make it to the exit. The Frood steps up to the exit party and says, "Beam me up, Scotty!" The exit party nod, and he steps into a circle on the ground. With a puff of blue smoke, they disappear. I look around for a convenient barrel, only to find they've all been broken. "Īe! Kore wa meiyode wa arimasen!" echoes from someplace. "Well, they got the Ninja, too. Now, it's just me." I unload the Raging Judge and fill it with the DRS buckshot shells. I yell into the dungeon, "I'm over by the exit! Come and get me!" I take a deep breath. In the course of ten seconds, two Wurms are scrabbling towards me down a corridor directly linked with the exit. I aim down the hallway and shoot, and the buckshot goes flying along. The Wurms stagger and jerk for a second when it hits them, but they keep on going. I reload the last three DRS Casull rounds, and put one in each of their foreheads. They slump to the ground in front of me, and I raise the muzzle to my face. I pull the trigger, and my head explodes with the shot. It seems that the last round wasn't actually DRS. My body slumped to the ground, dead.

Later that day...

"Hmm. I die a lot, don't I?"  "Really? Two-minute flights, ended with certain death, and I'm dying faster than that?"  "Darn."