Thread:LorialetDreamer/@comment-37028137-20200307192347/@comment-37028137-20200310142415

Greetings Dreamer,

Thank you for the reply your candor is most appreciated.

Yes you are right there is quite a bit of information to take in; but all with a purpose. I wanted to start the story right off without pointless narration so I drop the reader in the midst of the action. I also wanted the reader to feel Nicholas' discombobulation at being thrown into a new world so I only explain what is essential at the outset to mirror his discomfort. I do circle back to it as the story progresses and explain it in due time. It also gets much easier to follow once the characters land in the MGE Universe and get used to the locales.

I left the battle in Chapter 6 intentionally abstract to heighten the sense of dread for the narrative. Though from a practical standpoint it was left as such to avoid explicit violence as this Wiki gets persnickety about such things. (I'll admit I manage to balance the violence and battle sequences better in later chapters.)

As for the 'Witches' I left a number of hints (perhaps not enough) that they are in fact not witches at all, but simply cultists. They just call themselves as such. Hence the reason they don't use Magic and only have ceremonial daggers. ''A 'witch' was about to stab me with a ceremonial dagger and Cas had shot her saving my life in the process. ''They're just ordinary people.

As for the portal (again hinted at but perhaps not enough) it wasn't meant to cause damage or explode. Nicholas, Dean, Sam, and Cas, interrupted the ritual and that caused the issue, they rushed in with no plan (Something Dean mentions “So should we scout this place out, or are we throwing caution to the wind and running in guns blazing?” and ended up making things worse.) ''“Shit, Cas we’ve got a problem” I yell back to him. Cas comes in after me, the room is littered with even more blood sigils, scraps of spells, and scrawled incantations. ''I show subtley the spells were hurried and incomplete which is why all the 'Witches' were outside fighting the group, they realized the portal was blowing up so they were trying to flee.

In regards to Nick's powers I am using a 'Soft Magic System ' (Similar to Lord of the Rings.) wherein not every part of Magic has or needs to be explained or have concrete rules. But I give a number of references to what his limits are at the outset. (I expand on this later, but again I wanted the reader to feel a tad at odds.) In Chapter 1 I show (fairly quickly, in passing) that Nick isn't exactly physically fine The only thing about me which would certainly draw unwanted attention were the many scars, burns, and healed wounds from my many years of operating as a hero and hunter.

(I'd suggest skipping to reading chapter 16 to get a good look at Nicholas' underlying issues. You don't really need to know his backgroud by then because that chapter basically lays it all out, and shows what's ailing him. If that interests you then I'd suggest going back and reading the preceeding Chapters too. Chapters 9-16 are where it really ramps up in terms of pace and action.) Ugh I never thought I'd say skip ahead in my own book. (Then again I think I said in an author's note that 1-10 are kind of weak anyhow, I wrote them after first discovering MGE so an improvement in quality certainly does happen later on.

The 'convenient power' as you put it was actually stressed to the reader in Chapter 6. ''As we neared the end of the corridor we came upon a door covered in a multitude of symbols. I stuck my hand out putting it near the door but not touching it. The magic radiating from the symbols were simply a precursor of what lay beyond the door. “This magic is old, and yet it is weak” I state The Nicholas character is 20,000 years old (a fact he mentions in Chapter 1) Even after piloting the TARDIS for nearly twenty thousand years ''

Because of that it can be assumed that he has honed his mystical abilities for some time and that he has a vast knowledge of both Light and Dark Magic. By the way sensing someone's aura (their pneuma, or soul) is actually fairly easy in Druidic belief (Of which my Great Grandmother was in fact a practitioner and she taught me about. And is actually a partial basis for the Magic in the novel. Obviously made more fantastical but it's there.) because of that I made it fairly common in the narrative. (Nick uses it in a way, Lilith uses it, Cas uses it, it's basically an easy emotional guage.)

Vellantha isn't a damsel, it's intentional on her part, because as you said there is indeed more to it than what appears. You missed a very important point of dialouge in Chapter 9 from Vellantha speaking abot Nick's condition. ''“He is not human and he is strong, besides he cannot die I WILL NOT allow it! Not after finding him again!” ''(Especially that last line.)

You mentioned in another post that you don't know much about Doctor Who. In regards to Nick's injuries, Time Lords have the ability to Regenerate in Doctor Who (Think bright light then wham whole new body)  While he can undergo a full Regeneration and gain a new form it wasn't necessary in that case because he's using Magic. Instead his body healed the damage rapidly and left behind a scar. (Which is why in chapter 1 he sees himself in the mirror and he's covered in scars. Again show don't tell.) It just happens so fast that the Demon cannot react, (I hate to use this comparison but think Wolverine's healing ability.)

The reason he got taken down by a knife is that he's not invincible and he let his guard down to help the woman. He thought he'd dealt with all of the soldiers but there was that wounded one left who managed to 'get the drop on him' as the parlence goes.

I hope I answered your questions, and please do give it another look if you feel up to it. The first 10 chapters are a year old and weak I admit as such, I was finding my feet. But it gets so much better as it goes along!

Cheers,

The Weary TimeLord.