Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-34904368-20190419130250/@comment-36855838-20190421065927

I whisper something to my weasely weed pal, Mikey.

He shoves on a thick glove and prepares for my plan.

As he gets ready, I walk up to the snitch.

"Pardon me, miss, but are you willing to-"

"Heeeey, rich boy!"

She paws playfully at my shirt, the shiteatingest of all grins on her face.

"Marilyn, I've put up with this long enough, I've had to double my security force ever since you started all this hooplah. I am tired of all the propositions. You have made my life a nightmare, and I am going to have my money back with 80% interest by tomorrow."

Her grin slips slightly.

"You do realize you could stop allll of that if you just agreed to be mi-"

"No. Perhaps I would have decided to be with you if you had presented me with lemonade or chocolate or pie or cake or fucking mangoes, or maybe if you had simply had the decency to ask me first!"

"But you refused, I asked you to go out with me, and it wasn't good enough, so I decided to leverage you with your secret!"

My face went beet red.

"Marilyn, hey, wanna fuck, ya dumbass stud, is not asking me to be your romantic partner, that's just you being a complete ass."

She puts her hands on her hips.

"Well, at least I didn't halfass it, did I? Unlike you, the boy who gets away with whatever the hell he wants!"

I snap my fingers.

Mikey rushes up, and in his wierd way, gets the incriminating photo completed faster than anybody can react, showing Marilyn and her friends buying weed from a mysterious man.

"Just leveling the playing field, you girls have otten way out of hand, and I'll be happy to shove every mamono down a peg or ten if I don't have my money by tomorrow. You know my address, and don't dare try anything, I have forty people ready to spill to the court."

She laughs.

"You can't put me away, not for more than a day at best!"

I return the guffaw.

"Mandatory minimum laws, Marilyn, they're a real bitch. You'll be rotting under a mountain of red tape if you don't pay up."

She just stands there, flabberghasted, as we step back into view of the security cameras, the glove stowed once more out of sight.