User:DiamondHound

So... you're probably wondering

' '''Who in the heck is this guy? And why does he think he's a dog?

Very... good questions​. You have a right to know, so, I'll just answer them for you.

'''==Who in the ever-loving heck are you? =='''

I am Diamond Hound, of course. You could tell, right? Right. Good, we've got the obvious out of the way. Now, who AM I, you ask?

Well, put simply, I am a person, on Earth, that has a particular fondness for the ever-lovable, demon-mana-producing, nymphomaniac beings we've come to know as Mamono, or Monster Girls. ​​​I came about this by... er.

Well, that's a long story, but I suppose it doesn't matter how I find treasure, it's just... what I do with it.

==What DO you do with it?==

Also a good question. What do I do with this treasure I have? Well, to spare you the details, I look at in my own special, twisted way (occasionally while I sport a festive stocking cap) in between classes at college, then take my special, twisted ideas and somehow un-twist (or re-twist, depending) them into what you know as 'Fanfiction.' ... and if you recognize my handle, then... congrats, you've visited FanFiction.net. Good on you. Applause, applause.

But yes, I... specialize, I suppose, in composing written word (typed word?) in such a manner that you recognize it as a story of some sort, and following that, the logical course of action you'd follow is to read it, and conclude that this odd excuse for an author has somehow convinced himself that a rather expansive vocabulary is something to be pulled out and waved around like its tickets to the ​​local large sporting event. That's known as scalping, in case you didn't know.

eugh... but that aside, yes, I'm mainly here because I would like a medium to post my work on. When I'm not dying of sleep deprivation, anyway. I can hardly put it on FanFiction, now can I? I'd put it on MGR, but I've forgotten the email and password I used for that one... and I'm lazy...

'''==Okay, okay, we get it. So... what do you write?=='''

I suppose that's a fair question to ask. But I write many things. I favor rants and overly-long blog posts, but as far as my actual literature goes, I have a knack for humorous pieces. I also do horror. It's hard to appreciate the happy-silly-fun-time in a story when you don't have a murder or two to compare it with.

... given that, I'm not going to kill Mamono. I'm saying this outright to ensure that there is no confusion. I'm well aware of the reaction to the idea of it, and I am no fool.

That's not to say that I'll just write all happy stuff. I'm not that nice.

'''==Okay... so which Mamono is your favorite?=='''

Oh, this question was too obvious. I favor the more intellectual types, just as a natural tendency, but I find it hard to shake the influence of the Wight. Given that, she scares me. A lot. I'd need a cuddle buddy to stave the fear off, so a Werewolf- I'd more liken the one I have in mind to a particularly loveable guard dog- would do. In between cuddling, I'd need something to make me appreciate softness, so a Dragon would be my icy favorite, if only to melt (metaphorically) later... ah, but then...

If the answer is not clear, it's because I have no favorite. I am obviously that harem protagonist that WANTS to pick one, but finds himself unable to.

... can I just cuddle them all? Please? I like cuddling...

==S​​​​​o if you're gonna contribute some fiction, what is it gonna entail?==

So in this one land we'll call Murika, there was this person. This person was male, and he was okay with that. He was surrounded by females of various persuasions. Some had horns, some had fur. One was a plant, and she was okay with that. He knew that they all wanted to keep their neighbors awake with the sound of furious love-making, and possibly ruin a large number of beds due to constant stress on the springs. And they all wanted to do this with him.

He then woke up, looked at his alarm clock, and then out his rather large window. Large for the room, at least, such a small thing. It was splotched with water, the streaks of liquid trailing down the glass at a leisurely pace, as if to mock him. They had all they wanted, and there he was, on the other side.

He turned his alarm off and placed his head back upon his pillow, curling up into a tight ball and closing his eyes, hoping to feel a hand brushing his face, or hear the excited barking of a Werewolf that wanted to play with her master.

And... back to reality.

​While that's only a small taste at the things I have in mind, I suppose that my sleep is more important than filling this out... so I'll just leave this here and... clean it up later, or something.

~ Hound out.