User blog:Locke Flinnt/WWYD-reply: Valkyrie

(Moving this barely-too-big-for-the-main-article reply due to the new enforcement of the "1200" rule by the mods performing a sweeping advance right now...) Valkyrie (fuming quietly): "Mortal imbecile.". Angel (tears welling up in her eyes): "I can't believe you wanted to kill the poor piggy!". Me (holding onto the tree feverishly): "The 'poor piggy' nearly gutted the three of us like fish. At least we made it into this tree..." We spend a few hours like this, the angry boar still waitong for us to come down. Having little strength left, I take a sip of liquor I wanted to use on the boar flesh before cooking to cleanse what little taint it had accumulated - the beast had come to these parts only recently due to seasonal migration. V. (seeing me drink); "What's that?" Me: "Spirits. Keeps us 'mortals' strong". A. (curiously): "Is it food?" Me: "Liquid bread - same recipe, sans flour." V (sternly): "We require this 'liquid bread' for sustenance, mortal". Me: "Careful, it packs quite a punch." The Valkyrie heeds my warning not and downs half a bottle before the blaze sets in. Caughing and gasping for air, she falls from the tree, landing her armored backside on the boar's head. The beast runs off, squealing in terror and pain. A. and me hurry down to check up on V. She's fine, just winded a bit after the fall and really intoxicated by the spirits. V.(drawling, her cheeks flush):"Mor-ron!..It hurts, you know!" She turns to the side, rubbing her sore behind. "Are you even sorry?" I nod apologetically. V. suddenly pushes me to the ground, climbing onto me, and commands in a sulky voice while unfastening her armor: "Well, then why don't you show me how penitent you are and make amendments in my shrie, mortal?". Angel, seeing how passionately Chooser of the Slain rides her new bipedal mount, only mutters "Oh, fuck!.." in half-constatation, half-exclamation.