Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-27303410-20161120150543/@comment-37120874-20190223171704

Was scrolling through some older WWYDs and this one seemed fun to try as my first WWYD response.

"HA! I knew this laser pointer would come in handy. Good thing my supreme intellect managed to save me once again!" I gloated as I haphazardly pointed the dot throughout my spacious living room, avoiding any furniture or myself.

I pointed the pointer at various points so the cat Mamano would either pounce on the dot, or each other. I laughed hysterically at some of the moments that transpired. On one occasion, the Jinko rammed powerfully into the Werecat, sending her spiralling into the wall, surprisingly surviving and not damaging my walls.

"Riddle me this, nya! Why can't I catch this dot!?" the Sphinx exclaimed to herself, getting the dot on her paws before being rammed.

"Because I'm gonna catch it!" The Cait Sith roared endearingly before faceplanting into the floor,"Grrr…WHY THE HELL CAN'T I GET IT!".

The Nekomata alternated between her forms to attempt to subdue the ray of light which took up no physical mass, however was usually unsuccessful.

"I'm always so close!" she said, determined.

She wasn't really but I was having too much fun so I didn't bother correcting her.

"So, human." the Cheshire Cat approached me from behind, for some reason sipping hot chocolate casually.

"Wait a sec, is that my hot chocolate and mug you're dri-HOW MANY MARSHMALLOWS ARE YOU USING?!" I yelled in disbelief, shooting the pointer up towards a wall, as I stared at her mountain of sugary sweets. Worst part: the mug was at shoulder level but the marshmallows went above both of our heads.

"How much did that pointer cost ya?" she asked, interrupting me and dodging the question, quiet rudely I might add.

"Just a few bucks, nothing too much." I said flicking my wrist causing another uproar among the felines, with the Cait Sith running on all fours now, "Also I swear you were chasing it too before like the rest of them."

"Yeah got bored though and kinda exhausted now, helped myself to a drink and some marshmallows. More importantly though, don't those pointers stop working really soon? Since there bootleg and all?"

"First, not "some marshmallows", you mean probably all of them. Secondly, why would you jinx me like that?" I asked.

However, as if on queue the pointer was flickering. She jinxed the damn laser pointer. Oh Chief God, what has she done. Wait, WHAT HAVE I DONE? I could have lured them out of the house this entire time!

Damn it I'm probably gonna get raped, by them. Eh, I guess they're all kinda hot anyway. Except the Cait Sith, that ones a bit too...weird. Not ugly, but will take some getting used to. Uncanny valley has always been a bit of a turn off at first.

As if on another, but equally important queue, the pointer switched off completely. They all froze, save the Cheshire who was still sipping my hot chocolate out of my favourite mug through the structure of marshmallows which magically didn't spill on my floor.

After an ominous delay they all faced me.

"OH NO! MY LEVERAGE!" I screeched as the laser turned off. I pointed the laser up toward my eye to check. It had gone out, but as a shook it a little, it flashed on and blinded me horribly, giving me a terrible case of eye pain, as I let it fall and the pointer fractured on the floor.

"...Huh." I let out awkwardly, kind of scared and flustered, "Y'know, if I'm assured that you guys won't kill me, my equipment remains intact and half of you get jobs or some form of income, I can come to terms with you guys living here. Might be a bit cramped though."

"I prefer intimate." the Cheshire Cat cooed seductively to my side.

The Jinko strutted up to me, showing off her oddly alluring abs. "I think my heat cycle came up a bit early." she said ominously.

Cait Sith wasted no time jumping onto my groin area as I stood, looking into my eyes. "You've kept us waiting long enough, idiot!"

Sphinx on my other side with a pair of glasses, a sexy business suit and a pen tapping on a riddlebook titled "200 riddles: Sphinx edition" and a slogan that read "Guessing these difficult riddles will be like his manhood: Stupidly Hard". "Nya ha ha…" the Sphinx laughed evilly.

The Nekomata came up to me from behind, breathing on my ear and her two tails forming a pretzel shape on my chest. "I love my Master!"

A pretzel or a heart, I can't really see it too well.

The Werecat, finally closed my front door and attempted to lock it but ended up struggling.

"N-No you gotta turn it the other way...Werecat lady? Look turn the key the other way." I said looking beyond the jinko.

"It's not budging! I'm trying but it won't work!" she said using all of her might to turn the key as we all turned our heads.

"Look, press the door forward when you lock it, it's and old door and doesn't align perfectly with the lock." the Cheshire Cat said. Don't know how she knows that though.

"I'm still trying! But it won't lock!" she whined.

"No-no you need to turn it the other way, AS WELL as pressing it."

After a solid, literal minute of struggling and the newly found harem agreeing for me to go lock the door, not to mention cheering up the not so bright werecat, I readjusted my position so I was trapped by them again.

I was then claimed brutally by the feline force as their husband. I'd say I regret it, but I don't.

2 weeks later

I decided to meet up with one of my BBC or Best Black Companion, Jason, a real friend I've known for most of my life, and decided to introduce him to my harem.

Although, in the previous sentence, the word "introduce" is synonymous with the word "flex" or "show-off".

Funnily enough however, he told me that he also had a harem over-fortnight. So we both agreed to meet up for some coffee and maybe and go do some stuff later with our harems that were too overprotective for our own goods.

When I stopped by the café we were meeting up at, me and my band of kittens stopped.

As did he and his dog pack.

A werewolf, Anubis, kobold, kikimora, Hellhound and a Cu Sith. Go figures.

Snarling, hissing and other forms of hostile communication that wasn't English was now filling the area, causing bystanders to look at us and for me to glare at my friend.

"Hey Jason. I guess you could say..." I started.

"Dude, Nathan, don't say it." Jason said, squeezing the bridge of his nose.

"They get along like cats and dogs! HA!"

And then we had a pleasant day with passive aggressive conversations and flaunting how well they could satisfy me or Jason in bed compared to the opposite group until all parties got along after me and Jason used the withholding of head pats and intimate time as domestic weapons to stop any fighting.