Talk:Kikimora/@comment-26499809-20150619213618/@comment-78.20.131.40-20150620105332

Gathering my courage, I grab a stick, approach them and ask them what their problem is. When it turns out they're just some childish bullies picking on her for no reason, I sarcastically tell them it's very brave to gang up on a single, small defenceless person and that they have to be sooo proud of themselves.

Insulted, they attack me but quickly stop once I hit them a few times with the stick. Just like I though, they're just big cowards and then proceed to flee.

I then turn my attention towards the Kikimora, help her get up, dry her tears and ask her where she lives, where her family is.

If she's just a child, I escort her towards her home where her family immediatly embraces her, and thank me for standing up for her. I tell her it was the right thing to do, but her mother insists on repaying me with a delicious home made meal. I accept and during the meal notice the young Kikimora being quite attached to me. Her mother teases me that once the girl's mature, she'll want to marry me.

If she's already mature, she grabs me in a big hug and thanks me, asking me whatever I want as repayment. I initially refuse, not wanting to take advantage, but she insists and claims she wants to be my wife. She says she already imprinted upon me and swears to dutifully do everything I desire of her, even if I'm lazy or don't want to have sex. Knowing there's really no way out of this fantastic deal, I accept and take her home with me. There she immediatly cleans up my house, cooks me a delicious meal and then I take her to my bed where we consumate our new relationship.

...Wow, did I really write all of that?