Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-34552561-20180222232339/@comment-30700719-20180223002927

Quick reply:

"Hello. I see to be in a bit of a predicament. Y'see, I'm a dairy farmer with cows drier than bone. And I surely need some help." The three Holstaurs agree, and come home with me to my farm. The smallest Holstaur, named Darcy, pats one of m'cows and states, "She ain't getting enough water. You oughta set aside a trough for her." When I argued that they would just drink from both, she said, "Don't worry. Cows is smart. They'll leave her trough alone." So all that day, I bought a new trough and carried it over to the field. Seeing as the Holstaurs were so nice, I let them sleep at my house for the night. The next day, the middle Holstaur, Maggie, affectionately wraps her arm around another cow and says, "She's not getting enough exercise. I'd say put some small weights on her legs." So all that day, I went around looking for leg weights for cows, and I eventually had to get the local blacksmith to make some. I let the Holstaurs sleep at my house for another night. On the third day, the tallest Holstaur, named Bertha, looked down at a group cows and said, "They ain't eating right. They's too thin, I reckon." So I went out and got some food supplements. That night, I slid into bed a content man. Thanks to these three strangers, I had a chance of getting a little milk cash this year. However, the three Holstaurs were actually hiding under the bed! Bertha fell on top of me, saying, "We gave you our help for milkin' those cows..." Maggie started unbuttoning my nightie, "So we reckon, you'll help repay the favor..." Darcy throws her tiny arms around me. "By milking us!"

I rubbed my chin in deep thought, then threw my arms over my head and yelled, "TITS!"

Moral of the story: Help others the way you want to be helped-nope, it's tits. The moral of the story is tits.