User blog:IonicZach/Lean, Green, and not so Mean Pt. 1

This is it, this is the job that'll help me make a name for myself for sure. I took up the job ever since I've heard rumors of a town that's had some ogre sightings near a cave outside the village and since I'm only starting out in this mercanary/bounty hunter business I feel this could be a good opportunity to gain some reputation.

I've already heard a lot about ogres, the way they take the men they defeat as sex slaves, their inhuman strength, and their ferocity. When I got to town, I asked around to hopefully gain some more info on my potential prey. The towns people describe a creature with huge horns, sickly green skin, long and messy white hair, and an intimidating presence. When I asked where they witnessed the ogre, they described a place where a cave lies next to a pond that is fed by a waterfall, and that if I travelled out of the village westward, I couldn't miss it

I decide to rest in the town for the day and the next morning I strap on my armor, the only metal pieces being just a breast plate and a left shoulder guard, and I exit the village through the west as I was told. Eventually I reach the place I was described to me. In front of me stands a tall mountain side with a large hole of the cave in its side, and next to it is a beautiful waterfall. The image is so awe inspiring I pull out a piece of parchment, my inkwell and pen that I always carry with me, cause you never know when you'll need them, and begin drawing what I see.

I finish up, somewhat satisfied with my work, and proceed towards the entrance to the cave. What I find surprises and slightly confuses me, there is a facade and doorway constructed just inside the cave entrance.

I blink, look around to see if this is some kind of joke, march up to the facade, raise my fist, and politely knock on the door.

"Just a second~!" A slightly husky feminine voice yells from the otherside.

I raise an eyebrow in confusion as I hear shuffling from the otherside of the door. The door suddenly opens and I'm face to face with the ogre, except she is different from any ogre I've ever heard about.

"Hi, how can I help you?" The ogre greets me with a friendly smile.

I mean she looks like an ogre but her outfit and entire demeanor is the complete opposite of what I've heard. She's wearing a cute dress that goes down to her knees with her feet being bare except for a single anklet, she has a bow tied around one of her horns, and the smile she wears is cute and friendly, besides the lecherous one I'd have imagined. Overall she's more cute than terrifying.

"Uh, are you gonna stand there and stare at me or what?" She asks me crossing her arms, but still smiling.

I blush, slightly embarassed, and say "Y-yeah, um, uh- PREPARE YOURSELF FOUL CREATU-!"

I'm interrupted by her smiling face immediately drooping into a frown and tears forming in her eyes.

"Oh come on. Please don't start crying. Please? I'm sorry" I ask slightly disheartened. Man who knew defeating an ogre would be so tough.

"*sniff* *sniff* Okay." She says calming down.

"Now I'm sorry, can I come inside?" I ask

"Sure, by the way my name is Matilda, but you can call me Mattie." She says, calming down quickly and motioning me inside.

I enter the doorway and on the inside it looks like a regular house, well, as regular as a home built on the inside of a cave can be. Mattie runs ahead of me and, approaching a table, pulls out a chair and offers it to me. I reluctantly sit down and she takes the seat across from me.

"So why are you here exactly, Mr.?" She inquires.

"My name is Jacob, but everyone calls me Jay."

"Like the bird?" Mattie interjects.

"Y-yeah like the bird... Well any ways, the reason I'm here is you." I say with some reluctance.

Suddenly, Mattie gets up out of her seat, rushes over to me and pulls me into a big hug. "Oh, I knew someday my knight in shining armor would come for me! I just knew it!" She says with sincere excitement.

With my face pushed right into her cleavage, I say in muffled voice, trying to tap out, "Wait! I didn't mean it like that!"

She pulls me out and stares into my eyes, "Huh?" Although it pains me to break her heart like this, especially after she's been so nice to me, but I feel I should tell her.

"The real reason I'm here is to claim the bounty on you, but after meeting you I don't really want to, but I can't just return to town empty handed..." I put a hand to my chin to think, and snap my fingers in a "Eureka!" moment. "I got an idea, how about you give me your anklet and I'll take it as a trophy to show to the villagers." She reels back at my suggestion and exclaims "NO!"

"Why not?"

"It's an heirloom from my parents." She says still guarding her leg. Suddenly, a light bulb goes off in her head, "Wait you're a bounty hunter right?"

"Yeah...?"

"To be a bounty hunter you gotta be tough right?"

"Yeah, well- I mean-."

"Then teach me how to be tough. I've never really fit in with the other ogres while growing up, so can you make me tough, please? If you agree I'll give you my anklet." She pleads with me.

I let out a sigh, "Fine, I'll do it."

Mattie quickly embraces me again and gives me a big kiss, but quickly releases me and blushes, "Sorry, I-I mean, uh, thank you Jay." she giggles bashfully, handing me her anklet.

I blush as well, "*ahem* Don't mention it." I take the anklet and head back into town.

"My fair people! Lend me your ears! I have vanquished the ogre!" I announce in town square. "And I have brought this to prove it." I hold up Mattie's anklet.

"What is that?" A random villager asks.

"I found this on the creatures leg after I slew it. I felt I owed it to the creature after the worthy battle she gave me to not disrespect her remains by dismembering it for the sake of a trophy."

The crowd seems to buy it, and they start to cheer for my success and many of them offer to let me stay with them for the night, but I refuse them all as I run off back into the woods, for I have a promise to keep.