Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-34263048-20190118185228/@comment-36855838-20190119054636

A leisurely stroll takes me out of town, and with my only companion, Jeremiah, I seek an old man said to have lived in these parts for nearly a century, surely he can give me advice!

I arrive at the door of his Cabin in the-

Err, his cottage, in the forest.

I knock, and wait.

Soon he opens the door, and as I bow and scrape and supplicate my way into his home, I spot a pointy-eared blonde woman with an oddly slackened expression lounging on the floor, spread-eagled like a child making snow-angels.

She barely spares me a glance before staring at painted stars on the ceiling, which move along preset mechanical tracks about the room.

"Pleashe, come into my shtudy, shonny!"

I follow the old man into a dusty room, filled with books.

After we're seated, he. Gestures for my map, and I give it to him.

"Hmm, ya'ave got a complete map there, shonny, and I promishe to help ya, but firsht, I'd like to hear what kinda lady you're lookin for!"

"Anybody orcish, sir!"

He stroked his long, graying beard.

"You'll be wantin' helltown, m'boy! The ladiesh there really come closhe to what you're probably seekin'!"

I watch as he marks it down.

"What sort of mamono live there?"

He looks at me, eyes atwinkle.

"Why, all shortsh, m'boy! The thing ish, though, that all the other monshtersh hafta compete with the hellhoundsh, who're 'top dogsh' in that region, so the ladiesh there're all orcishly shtraightforward!"

I bow low as I take back the map.

"Thank you very much, sir!"

I take my leave, ready to head to helltown!

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(Pronounced hell-tun)