Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-39745555-20190622035424/@comment-36855838-20190623145621

I wring my hands together.

"What sort of foe are you faci-"

"That is immaterial, please teach us how to make the mushroom blast."

I chuckle, "Depending on your capabilities, and those of your opponents, nuclear warfare may not be the best idea."

They glance at each-other.

"There are a variety of weapons you can use. Tell me first how completely you want to destroy your opponents."

"Completely."

"Second, do you want to use their land after they die out?"

They look surprised.

"What do you mean?"

I open a weaponry catalogue, and walk over to a glass display case.

"Observe."

The knights crowd around the window, and look at the hand-crafted model of a vietam forest.

"There was a prolonged conflict two centuries ago, in a land called Vietnam, this is a representation of typical battlegrounds."

I read a description from the booklet.

"The land of Vietnam was beautiful, but deadly, the forest was constantly damp, if not soaking wet, and we could never eat in peace, as the enemy were hiding all around us, in their elaborate and fortified hidey holes"

"So what did you do?"

I cackle, a tear running down my face.

"We turned tail and ran, but not before creating horrific weapons!"

I push a switch, and the model moves along a conveyor belt.

The next one is full of leafless spikes where trees once stood.

"This is the effect of 'agent orange,' a chemical defoliant. If your enemy is entrenched in a heavily forested area, this is the stuff for you!"

The two look on in admiration and horror.

"But wait, there's more!"

I push the button again, and we're greeted with a landscape which is perpetually aflame.

They look at me like I'm a madman.

"We don't need your help to burn down a-"

I grab a bucket from the floor and throw the contents over him.

"Get it off of yourself."

He huffs and wipes his hand over the stuff, but it barely moves, soaked into his armor, clothes, and hair.

"That fire in the model? The fuel burning is what's stuck to your skin."

I strike a match and throw it at him.

He leaps back, and I repeat the exercise.

Eventually, I hit him, his companion watching in horror as he screams in agony, boiling to a puddle of grease and a pile of bones in his own skin.

"Jeremiah, save me, please! Chief god, anyone, help me!"

He writhes on the floor for several minutes, his companion refusing to look, and when he finally expires, I strike a jubilant pose, framing his still burning corpse with my arms, and shouting, "Napalm!"

His companion, Jeremiah, is seemingly unshaken, and so I continue with the presentation.

"Napalm is incredibly effective at killing mass quantities of people, and it burns for quite a while, a combination of agent orange and napalm could very well wipe out anybody who tries to oppose you."

He nods.

"Finally, we have something truly special."

A third press brings in a landscape of barren soil, no flames or trees or corpses.

All there is is a model of some kind of insect, which dominates the landscape.

"The devourer."

He looks unimpressed.

"Looks like a funky locust to me."

I point to his dead, burning companion.

"Would you like a similar demonstration?"

He backs up, head shaking, teeth chattering.

I grab a canister and open the lid, running for the exit.

Jermiah exits shortly after me.

The door shut behind us, I point to a viewing window.

"Watch."

The creature circles over the dead knight, then begins to consume him without cease, shredding metal and rending charred flesh.

A minute later, the creature lays about fifty eggs on the floor, and dies.

The eggs hatch, and the cycle continues, a desk and table joining the meal.

Just as the next generation is about to hatch, I pull a lever on the wall, spraying all the eggs, dissolving them into mush.

"They'll eat anything!"

I grin.

"Step on one of the dead ones!"

He does, fearful.

His foot rests on it as if he were a child trying to squash a small boulder.

"Their armor is amazing, they're almost impossible to kill past the egg stage, and even then, the best way to kill them is this stuff!"

I motion towards the several barrels of egg spray hooked up to the sprinkler system.

"So, what'll you buy?"

I turn around, and he's gone.