User blog:Gnomehunter/Undead Kingdom Brief

Copied from a wwyd post I made. It occurred to me later that the wight's encyclopedia entry mentions they create "undead kingdoms to rule" but this was more inspired by user TheReptileKing's Reptile KIngdom. There's a lot of details I haven't filled out, or given much thought. It was written as a prompt for others. But I'll probably use it more in the future, since setting details are difficult for me. I'd be happy to see if anyone else wants to use this setting, just consider adding a link back to this page.

Welcome to the Undead Kingdom, The world's #1 destination for monsters from the afterlife!

With a rapidly growing tourism industry, we are proud to offer a variety of sights, services, and attractions which can't be found anywhere else on the planet. And rest assured, you'll get used to that funny smell in the air, merely an effect of the high population of undead monsters living in such a close proximity.

Why Should I Visit the Undead Kingdom?

Do you want a nice undead wife for yourself? This was the highest voted reason for entering the kingdom in a recent visitors survey. Monsters of this type run the entire range of personality types, both across and within the same species; however, undead individuals are most often described as "patient" and "devoted". From the plethora of Ghosts and Skeletons, to our most respected class consisting of Vampires and Wights, there's a special someone for everybody. Or perhaps you'd prefer a Zombie*?

The Departure of Loved Ones

We extend our sympathies to all those who've lost someone, but we also prefer to think of one's passing as simply the next step. Whether you wish to settle matters with the dead or reunite with them completely, experts can be found throughout the kingdom for expensive, affordable, dirt-cheap or even underground prices! But please be aware that our professionals don't always charge money for their services.

Anticipating a loved one's passing? Undead Grey Lamentation Mushrooms are always ripe for harvesting by both residents and visitors. Consumption of these mushrooms by a the terminally ill result in an effortless and pain-free transformation into whichever variety of undead monster suits you best. They also make delicious treats!

Lastly, we're proud to announce our Monster Zombification Serum is now in its trial phase. One dose injected into any living monster will result in her transformation to a member of the undead, while still retaining the form you've grown to love. Monsters who take serum are given the typical appearance and behavior of the common Zombie-loss of color, slow-wit, and a simple hunger for the touch of a man. However, they will remain a member of their species and retain all of their former charm. Side effects can include, but may not be limited to, short term or sustained loss of memory, a dulling of senses and capabilities for highly active or intelligent monsters, and a higher reliance on one's partner for guidance. We are currently receiving volunteers for testing, free of charge.

Education

From early childhood to university, we provide a wealth of programs and classes for students of all ages. Though our education services are best known for teaching the various fields of biology, we offer classes in all types of science, as well as any other subject you could ask for. Tutoring sessions are available at your leisure. We even offer guest lectures outside the kingdom by appointment.

Residence

While a near 95% of our citizens are undead, an estimated 68% of our monster population is unwed! That means there are plenty of ladies looking for a partner, with more than enough room to share. Marriage and transition to living in the kingdom is quick and convenient, and comes with the added benefit of being rent-free. Since its inception, the Undead Kingdom has taken the top spot on international charts for affordable housing.

Wildlife Tour

Whether you prefer a guide or to brave the wilderness by yourself, explore the natural wonders of the kingdom. There's a variety of other plant life that can't be found anywhere else. Or look simply to the natural spaces that abound within the kingdom. Stroll through the fields of dead grass, pick a bouquet of wilted flowers, breathe in the scent of rotting plants. Though they may seem off-putting to visitors, our residents find them quite lovely.

But Just how do you Find Us?

Our distributors are hard at work providing the living public with Undead Kingdom tickets which facilitate fast and harmless transportation (both 1-way and round-trip) to the gates of the kingdom. There, you can find guides and assistants who can grant entrance and exit, as well as assist you with most questions and concerns you may have.

However, you're also welcome to physically arrive at the kingdom gates should you be in proximity. But park at your own risk. Kingdom employees are authorized to confiscate or remove vehicles from the premises which have been left in place for over two weeks. Options for extended visits, and preferential vehicle protection, are available for a price (which may also extend beyond currency).

Legal

We're invested in making official disclaimers and warnings as accessible as possible for the living public. Simply put, it's up to visitors to decide the level of risk they're willing to subject themselves to. While businesses of all kinds are subject to rigorous examinations of safety protocols and procedures to ensure that harm is minimal or non existent for visitors; one should be aware that spending time in the kingdom, and consuming food, drink or other substances can lead to monsterization or incubization for humans. An overnight visit or a trip to a restaurant won't change you immediately, but a prolonged visit may lead to the acceleration of these processes.

In the event of injury or temporary failing of health, individuals will be given swift care on-site or transportation to a location of your choosing. In the event of death, individuals will be granted full funerary services or a revival as a naturally-departed citizen of the kingdom.

Litigious individuals beware! Cases are settled exclusively within the kingdom. We have literally eternity to argue or debate a case, which gives the living quite a short period of time to attempt to make a member of the undead pay for a wrongdoing. In fact, our conviction rate has stayed at a steady 0%.

Hope to see you Soon!

We can't tell you all of the wonders our kingdom has to offer! Please visit our website, locate your nearest ticket seller, and tell your friends and family about us. We're, say it with us, dying to meet you!

* Per paragraph 1, seeking an undead lover; male visitors of age 13 and up should be aware that due to the constantly changing population of unmarried zombies, finding a wife couldn't be more simple than walking through the gates and picking one off the street. Unless one can provide sufficient protection (via demon silver weapons, or a powerful partner) both married and single men will leave the kingdom with a few extra wives. More information can be found regarding the seasonal rates of zombies, and ways to protect oneself from their loving embrace. If you really wanted to.

Monthly specials-In observance of the living tradition of Halloween, October is a grand celebration full of spooks, scares, and sexy fun! You can't beat our parties, haunted houses, and other forms of seasonal entertainment. The 31st sees our neighborhoods decorated for a 24 hour Trick-or-Treat marathon, perfectly safe for children 12 and under.

To the residents of Bran, Brasov County, Transylvania, Romania-This year, entry to the Undead Kingdom is completely free with valid ID. Due to the gradual expansion of the kingdom, the community is expected to be overtaken entirely within the next 12-18 months. Any remaining residents will, at that time, be granted full citizenship.