User blog:Ore-samma/My Alp

Hello Fans, Ore-Samma here.

This may indeed be the most controversial story I've written here.

And you know what; I don't care. My fingers will not be denied sometimes.

I have no idea how this story will be received. I do not even know if this story is any good.

The story I wrote, is within the confines of the MGE universe, and that's where it stays. (I take a little creative liberty where it concerns alp creation / life and death)

However, my stories have been plagiarized before, and in the case this one is and is used to support or oppose a social issue; allow me to state point-blank

I do not support LGBQT, so  Leave this story here, go write your own to support or oppose whatever. 

Say what you will about this story, and moreso; the implications you may think it has for myself.

It matters not. I am secure in my own identity, and my fingers will not be denied.

Ever your servant

Ore-Samma

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'' Cold. ''

'' So cold…. ''

'' I’m freezing…. ''

'' Wha- what happened? ''

 Where am I? 

'' What? Why am I so cold? ''

'' Need to get some air! ''

''Can’t…. breathe!''

'' Struggle! Fight! What happened? Where am I? Stop it! What’s going on! Fight! Fight! Can’t breathe! What happened? Who did this? Where am I! Fight! Breathe! I need to breathe! ''

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I gasped, taking in the first lungful of air that I had in…..wait a second? How long was it since I last took air?

I tried to rise to my feet, but fell back down into a putrid mix of water and mud.

The water and mud was freezing cold, and yet….somehow… I felt comforted by being surrounded by the cold darkness….

“No!” I screamed getting to my hands and knees again, coughing and vomiting putrid, rotting water and mud from my lungs and stomach. Feeling my throat and chest burn as I continued to cough, and cough and cough till I coughed up blood.

I started to crawl, I had no idea where I was crawling, or what happened to me…. All I knew was….

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Wait a second….who was I?

I pushed the thought from my mind. All I knew was that I needed to crawl until I was on solid ground. I kept crawling, coughing and coughing, seeming to never be free of the mud that must have filled my lungs.

At last! I was on solid ground with a nearby river. I collapsed and knew darkness.

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Slowly I became aware of rushing water, and that I was seeing a part of the river. I tried to sigh, but felt a measure of mud shift in my lungs and started to cough again. I crawled to the river and started to wash my face off.

“Steady, you can do this!” I steeled myself and inhaled a lungful of water, triggering another coughing and vomiting fit that was at first a putrid black and brown that slowly turned red as the mud left, replaced by blood.

One more cycle of water and coughing and all that was coming out was blood.

Quick, get your healing potion! Some instinct nagged at me. Without thinking I reached for my side pouch and found a bottle. I swallowed it in one quaff and felt my lungs burn and soothe.

Slowly the coughing and dry heaving slowed, and stopped at last. I felt my consciousness ebb away into darkness again.

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“Hey! Wake up!”

I felt someone slapping my face and I opened my eyes. It was a soldier of the Order.

“Hey! On your feet Sergeant!” The man barked.

I startled and looked around.

“We got an injured one, boys!” He barked at some other men who grabbed at me. “Throw him on the cart!”

After a few moments a pale monk sat by next to me, holding a steaming wooden bowl.

“Eat, my child. You will feel better.”

I sipped at the offered bowl and felt my body rejoice at the warm soup entering my stomach. Soon, I was able to gulp the soup and then at last, hold the bowl on my own.

“Thank you.” I breathed, resting my head back.

“You’re welcome, my child.” The monk said, putting the bowl away and handing me a waterflask. “What is your name?”

“Mark!” I said with sudden elation. “I remember now!”

Indeed the memories came flooding back! I was Mark Groundsel, I was a Sergeant in the forward division shock troop, and the last thing I remember was fighting the Lilim coven of the fifth order! And they… they….

“Am I dead?” I coughed, again…. “I remember falling in battle! I remember…. Death?”

The monk gave a small laugh, “I don’t think so...” He put his fingers to my throat which was a sudden and strange sensation. His smile stiffened and disappeared after a moment. He took my hand and placed his finger to my wrist, then the other wrist, then my neck again.

“Captain!” He called out. “You’d better come over here!”

“What? What is it?” I said, feeling uneasy.

“My child, you have no pulse.”

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(later)

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“So, how can I be dead, and still be aware?” I asked the Grand Maester.

After I was discovered from the battlefield, I was taken to the Capital where the highest order of healers and Arch Maesters studied and tried to figure out if I was actually alive or dead.

Day after day, and test after test, they finally came to the conclusion; I was some sort of undead.

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The Grand Maester shrugged. “This is absolutely beyond the experience of anyone alive, or the records we keep. By all rights you should have never stood after facing the might of the entire Lilim Coven.” He paced around me, inspecting my skin with a long silver stylus.

He stopped and pressed his stylus hard against my chest, almost making me quiver, but I was able to hold fast.

“Did that hurt?” He asked.

“A little.” I admitted.

“Hmmm-” He poked again, this time on the other side of my chest near my nipple.

This time I felt a jolt of a certain amount of pleasure, but this time I was ready and steeled myself and kept from moving or vocalizing.

“And there? Did that hurt?”

“A little more than the last time.” I said.

The Grand Maester went to the washbin and cleaned his Stylus and sighed.

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“That sigh doesn't sound very good.” I said.

“Nothing about your condition is good.” The Grand Maester said dryly. He turned to me and ran his hand over his close cropped beard. “Remove your trousers.”

“Excuse me?” I said getting to my feet and narrowing my eyes.

“You heard me, or do I need to call the tower’s knights to assist me?”

I exhaled and lowered my trousers.

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The Grand Master inspected me for a brief moment and waved his hand. “That will do. Please dress completely.” He leveled his cold grey eyes to me and cleared his throat. “Well, Sergeant Groundsel… I have a working theory on what happened to you. It’s bad news, I’m afraid.”

I swallowed as I finished putting my clothes on, waiting for him to continue.

“You are indeed dead.” The Grand Maester started. “It appears that taking on the full force of the magical attack you described earlier, and your specific conditioning as a shock trooper to repurpose magical energy produced a unique effect in your very specific circumstance.” He sat down and sighed. “Specifically, the Mamono energy is still coursing through your body, and it is the only thing keeping you animated.”

I felt my knees grow weak and I sat down as well. “So, when the magic runs out, does that mean I will die for real?”

The Grand Maester shrugged. “First off, you are already dead. And yes, that is one possibility, there is another one.”

“What is that?”

The Grand Maester cleared his throat and paused. “Well. There is a likely chance that you will turn into a monster girl.”

I felt a sudden drop in my stomach and nearly puked. “Excuse me? I might what?!?”

The Grand Maester nodded, “Like I said it’s one of two possibilities. What we do know for certain is this; you are dead. You are an animated corpse on borrowed time. Your body which usually produced male spiritual energy has been dead for quite some time now, and as such; you have about less than a quarter of the amount of spiritual energy any living male at your age would have.” He stood and started to pack his bag. “Also, your body is automatically redirecting the Mamono magical power to keep you animated. But it is significantly more abundant than your dwindling spiritual energy.”

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“Can’t I-” I pleaded, “Can’t I get more male spiritual energy?” Is that possible?

The Grand Maester shook his head. “Even if we were somehow able to harness male spiritual energy- which we can’t, and even if we were somehow able to redirect into you- which we can’t…..your body is still dead.”

I stood- “But you said that the mamono-”

“What I said-” He shouted, “was that the mamono magical energy is what’s keeping you *animated*.” “No amount of spiritual energy can replace magic.”

My knees gave way again and I fell back down into my seat.

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The silence continued between the two of us, and at last I spoke again. “Th- there has to be something?” I begged.

The Grand Maester gave a grave nod. “If you were a commoner, I would have you chained and cast into a cell to see the finality of your affliction. To give you a proper funeral for one outcome-” The Maester gave a slight pause. “-or a proper execution for the other.”

“I see,” my hoarse voice croaked, barely holding back tears.

The Grand Maester straightened. “But I know you; Mark Groundsel, your deeds of heroism and exceptional service to the order has reached all corners of the Empire; you are a hero.”

I sighed, feeling tears well in my eyes and lifted my chin to the Grand Maester.

“And because of that, I will allow you one more day-” He looked over my shoulder.

I followed his gaze and noticed my sword, recovered from the battlefield.

“-How you choose to spend that day is up to you.” The Grand Maester said as soon as I turned my gaze back.

I looked back at my sword and was startled to hear the door slam.

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I stood, and stepped to my sword; The Red Dawn. I closed my hand upon the hilt and drew it, looking upon it like an old friend.

“I should have fallen. I should have died” I whispered, as I closed my eyes remembering the last few seconds before I fell. I remembered it all. My entire group fought valiantly against the Lilim. We were but foot soldiers on the path to being true heroes…. none, save the heroes of legend could stand a chance before them.

One by one I watched my brothers-in-arms fall, refusing to submit as husbands to their entourage…. till there was only me…. and even I refused the offer to take one of the Lilim as a wife.

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They gathered their magics, they promised me death…..

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….and they lied….

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I held my sword up, seeing the moonlight reflect off its cold surface. I flipped it around and- and- and-

“Why can’t I do it!?!?” I cried out, unable to pierce my stomach. Why was I a coward? Why? I was already dead? Why couldn’t I have just stayed dead?

I sunk to my knees and wept. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go! This wasn’t how I was supposed to meet my end!

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After a long time, I stood and faced the mirror. I stared into my own eyes filled with an overwhelming horror. After a while I turned back to my sword.

“Farewell, old friend.” I whispered as I placed my sword and armor on the bed. I would not sell them, even though I needed money to enact my plan.

I slipped out and into the night, I had to get away, I had to get out.

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I bustled through the emptying streets, I had to leave the main city wall before darkness fell, or I would never get out.

I passed under the gate and started to breathe easier as I slipped past the farming village that was just outside the City walls.

This was it, my life as a fugitive was about to begin, all I had to-

“Mark! Oh my goodness! Is it you?!?”

I froze…. no, not her…. anyone but her.

“Hello Diane.” I said, turning around.

Diane ran and threw herself into my arms. “Mark! Oh! They said you died! That everyone in your group died!” She kissed me deeply and held onto me like both of our lives depended upon it.

“Mark! Please! Please, don’t go out again! I don’t want to ever risk losing you!” She pleaded.

“Diane- I….” I took a stuttering breath…. to breathe in her scent, to feel her auburn hair and see her soft brown eyes again…. It was too much.

“Mark, what’s wrong? What happened?”

“Quick, Diane.” I hissed and led her away from the lights of the village and any that might see it.

“Mark, please! You’re scaring me! What happened?” Diane begged, seeming to sense the despair I was under.

Finally I sat down and sighed. “Diane, I am already dead.” I whispered.

“Don’t say that!” Diane cried out, trying to kiss me again, but I stopped her and forced her hand to my throat.

“Feel that?” I muttered.

“I don’t feel anything, what do you mean?”

I nodded, “Exactly. Something happened on my last mission. I died, but somehow came back…. and I don’t have a lot of time left. I need to go...Diane…. I- I’m sorry, but I can’t keep my promise.” I whispered in a hoarse voice, holding up the ring.

Diane looked to it and then to me with tears in her eyes. “Please tell me this is a joke! Please tell me that-”

I shook my head and brought her head to my chest. “You can’t hear it anymore, can’t you?”

Diane recoiled a little and shook her head. “No...no-no-no...” She moaned. “This has to be a dream.”

I sighed and just sat, wishing with all my heart that I didn’t run into her.

“Diane,” I said at last. I don’t have much time left. I have to go, I don’t want you to see what is going to happen to me.”

“What? What’s going to happen?”

I kept my eyes locked to hers, “I don’t know, but it won’t be good. And…. I want your last memory of me to at least be when I still was me…. at least for the most part.” I rose to leave, but Diane held my arm.

I turned my head to tell her to let go, when she wrapped her arms and legs around me. We held and kissed each other with a feverish passion that could only come from two lovers saying goodbye.

I felt my body respond to her delicate touch, and surrendered to her passion….our tears mingling upon each other’s faces, whispered words of love and a sorrowful goodbye that I knew would haunt my every waking moment.

I watched Diane sleep afterwards and silently carried her into her house. Her mother and father were already asleep, and I was grateful beyond words that she didn’t have to see me leave…. Grateful that she just might be able to attribute all that happened as just one sad dream.

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I walked…. for days.

I walked…. staying clear of the paths the Empire traveled

I stuck to the shadows, and walked…. to the border of the empire.

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At last! I reached a sleepy border town where the Empire would rarely approach. I had the beginnings of an idea to rechallenge the Lilim once more, and to die for real this time. Anything was better than what was happening to me.

I glanced at myself in the mirror of the Tavern room I was staying at. There was no doubt about it now; I was changing. For the longest time I denied what was happening to me…

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No, I’ve been traveling for a long time with less rest than before, I’m NOT losing muscle mass!

No, I’m just hearing things, my voice was ALWAYS that high!

''No, I’m NOT getting smaller, I’m just not eating enough! I’m just losing weight!''

No, I just pulled a muscle, and my chest is just swollen; I am NOT developing breasts!

But even I could no longer deny how I looked now.

Vibrant, wavy waist-length red hair, emerald green eyes, pouty lips with a cupid's bow, pale skin prone to stupid freckles, and peach size breasts, and about five foot seven....curvy in all the right places ugh...... I was gorgeous.

I tried my best to hide it. By wearing plain brown colors and baggy clothes, but I always got stares that just made my skin crawl.

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I sat at the local tavern, trying to listen in to conversations…. keeping away from men. Even now the thought of being friendly with a man disgusted me.

Thankfully that part of me did not change! And, according to a Hakutaku I met along the way who studied me for a few days; it likely never would change.

She theorized that since my monsterization started on me  after  I had died, that I was not what she called ‘a traditional alp’ but rather a variant…..that unless I found a husband  (gross)  that I already had a strong affinity for, I would always maintain my frame of mind…..thank goodness!

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“But tell me?” She had asked when we parted ways. ''“Why must you die at the hands of one of the Lilim? Why didn’t you just allow yourself to be executed? Or perhaps even challenge an order soldier to a duel?”''

“It’s the principle!” I had replied. “And you never know, I might just be able to be transformed back!”

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“Melody!” The Tavernmaster called out. “You’re next!”

I snapped back to reality. ‘Melody’ was my new name that I begrudgingly took as I could no longer be seen as a male. I turned to him and replied. “Sure thing, boss!”

I swallowed, I hated my new voice, but I couldn't ignore how beautiful it had become. I found that singing kept me fed, and with a bed with greater ease than any other chore I could offer…. well any other chore that I would offer!

So I…. would sing for my supper…. and I hated it.

I felt my face burn as all eyes turned to me and the bard tested his lute. I noticed a small group of Empire soldiers in the corner, and hoped they could not sense my mamono energy…. Thankfully I hadn’t changed that far yet, and could still pass for a human.

As many times before, I took the center of attention….. I inhaled and opened my mouth and began to sing the songs I knew.

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Song after song, I held the rapt attention of the entire tavern, I begrudgingly realized that I must have gotten better, and I hated it.

After my final song, I felt the embarrassment increase two fold as everyone applauded and I slunk over to the Tavernmaster. “Ten gold sovereigns as agreed, sir?” I asked in a confident, straight-forward voice.

“Aye, that was some good singing lass!” The Tavernmaster said with a grin, and handed my pay over. “You should stick around here. You could have a good life here!”

I shook my head. “I have a vengeance to fulfill.” I looked at his puzzled expression. “No one could understand.”

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“-Hey there.”

I turned to the voice next to me and felt my jaw drop. “Jake?”

Jake took on a confused look. “Wow, I didn’t know we met before. I certainly wouldn’t have let someone as beautiful as you go if I did.” He said with his trademark dashing grin.

“Save it, Jake! I’m not about to be another one of your conquests! How did you say it? ‘From one corner of the Empire to the other, leaving all the pretty girls wanting more!’ Peh!”

Yeah, I knew Jake. He and I served together in the Empire. Heck, one might say we were best friends, especially after we saved each other's life. He was always quite the ‘ladies man’ and I knew every trick he employed.

“Woah… I guess we have met before.” Jake said, taken aback. “Sheesh, I don’t know who spoke to you about me, but you can’t believe everything you hear.”

“This is where you buy me a mead with double honey to make up for it, yes? ‘For one dose of honey couldn’t even match my sweetness, but two just might do it?’ Ha! Wanna try another one?”

Jake’s eyes narrowed as he leaned closer to me. “Say, do I know you from somewhere?” He said, his voice all serious and suddenly more powerful.

“Tssscch! I won’t tell you- I’ll just let you try to figure it- oof!” I cried out as Jake grabbed my apron and drew me closer, his jaw and teeth now set in lines of determination.

“No! You know me from somewhere! Where?!” Jake said through his bared teeth.

I felt a flush creep up my neck and to my cheeks. Oh damn, why did he have to get so close? Why did he have to manhandle me like this? I felt my legs tremble a little.

“Mark sends his condolences.” I hissed between my own teeth.

Jake let go and his face turned apologetic. “Oh. You knew him?”

I nodded, “I did. He told me all about you.” I shook my head. “I won’t be another notch.” I finished, pointing at the ragged part of his belt.

Jake looked at it, and for the first time, I noticed an embarrassed look cross his face. “Hey- I didn’t know that Mark was such a gossipy blabbermouth!”

I scoffed. “You brought it on yourself. You were bound to run into a girl who would have heard of you, and know who you are.”

Jake waved impatiently. “Okay, okay, geez. I’m sorry I even approached you.” He took a drink from his ‘double honeyed’ mead and then turned to me again. “Just out of curiosity, what would work with you?” He finished with a grin that took me by surprise and I found to be almost irresistible.

“Ha!” I laughed, deciding to counter with the one thing he said he would never do. “Why, marriage of course!” I finished with a sneer and took a sip of wine, already knowing he always swore to never marry.

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“If you’re serious, I would; gladly.”

I almost spat out my mouthful of wine and swallowed hard, making an audible ‘gulp’ noise.

“I’m serious.” He added before I could say anything. “I would take you before the Grand Cardinal, and pledge half my holdings to you… just say the word.”

“I- I- I-” I stammered, feeling the hottest of blushes ignite on my face.

“Damn, you’re so cute.”

“Shut up!” I cried out! “You were supposed to say no! You always swore you’d never get married, after your uncle got divorced! I’m not marrying you!”

Jake’s brow furrowed again. “How do you know all this?” He said in astonishment. “And why not? I’m not saying this just to be saying it! Heck- I’ll even wait for our first night till its all official before the Grand Cardinal!”

Without thinking, I swung my hand forward and connected it to Jake’s face and ran from the Tavern amidst all the jeering voices.

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'' What was happening? Why was I so hot? ''

'' Hot. ''

'' So hot. ''

'' I’m burning up!. ''

'' Wha- what happened? ''

 Where am I? 

'' What? Why am I so hot? ''

'' Need to get some air! ''

'' Can’t…. breathe! ''

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“Come to papa!” A slimy voice hissed in my ear and an arm seized my abdomen.

“Get off me you oaf!” I cried out, trying to elbow the man who grabbed me.

“Is that the one?” Another man said with a rotten tooth grin.

“Yep, been watching you, missy! I’ll take that.” He said as he took my ten gold sovereigns.

“You’ve teased us enough, now it’s time to get some of all that lost time back!” Another chimed in; three men in all.

I screamed and tried to fight back, kicking and screaming.

“Stop it! Stop it! Get away from me! Sto- oof!” My cries were stopped by a solid blow to my stomach and I struggled to breathe.

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They started to tear at my clothes and grabbed at my body. I felt their hands violate, and arouse me at the same time. I struggled, my body weak from the lack of oxygen as I continued to try to breathe.

A sudden motion caught my attention, and one of the men was thrown off me, followed by the other two.

“Jake!” I cried out weakly.

“You picked the wrong day, with the wrong lady!” Jake called out, pulling his axes. “Drop her money, drop your clothes, or I will skin you alive!”

“Ha!” One of the men scoffed and they separated, intending to take him from all sides.

I knew Jake would be in trouble by himself. Despite the tales people would say about heroes, being outnumbered three-to-one was never in favor of a hero.

Just as one of them rushed in from the rear, I pulled Jake’s spare dagger free and thrusted it into the throat of the bandit who was just about to backstab Jake.

Jake quickly dispatched the one he turned to face, and the last quickly ran off.

I looked at my trembling hands that were now covered in blood…. this was the first time…. I've ever killed a human. Plenty of mamono sure…. But…

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“Melody, are you okay?”

I snapped back to reality, realizing Jake covered me with his heavy cloak.

“I-I-I-I” My gasps kept interrupting me, and at last I couldn’t hold it in anymore and began to cry.

“Easy, easy.” Jake bundled the cloak and picked me up.

Oh no, not this… not like this… I was now a cutesy putsey damsel in distress being saved by the…. rather…. strong arms of a…. handsome hero…. who could pick me up like it was nothing.

I tried to tell him to put me down, tried to tell him to get away from me, but all I could do was gasp over and over again, my mind still in shock, my abdomen still feeling as though I had been stabbed by a rusted pike.

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The world swirled around in a chaotic blur as Jake brought me up to my room and let himself in, as she placed me on the bed still wrapped in his cloak…

“Hey, you’re gonna be okay.” He whispered and kissed my forehead. “I swear it.”

He stood and walked out of my room.

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''What the heck! Why do I feel disappointed? What’s happening to me?'' I groaned internally and rolled over. After a few moments I had to stuff his cloak into the closet, the smell was making my head spin, and my body ache.

I bundled the blanket up and tried to sleep.

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“Melody! Melody! Wake up!”

I cried out, and trashed seeing Jake shaking me awake.

“What? Why are you here?” I cried out, holding the blanket over my exposed chest.

“You tell me.” Jake said, “You were crying out my name, were you asleep?”

“Oh? I- I- I suppose I was.” I said, suddenly feeling a sickening nausea and just barely made it to the basin and threw up.

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“Geez, they really did hurt you.” Jake said wrapping the blanket around my naked body. “Lemme see.” He said as he led me back to the bed. He reached out and muttered. “Lemme know if this hurts too much.” As he pressed against my stomach.

“Hurt! OW!” I cried out and just barely made it to the basin again.

“Yeah, you’ve ruptured your spleen. You’re gonna need to take this.” Jake said, pulling out a healing potion.

I tried to take it from him, but my hands were trembling too much, and he had to hold it while I sipped from the potion.

“Better?” He asked, stroking my hair, causing a shiver down my back.

“Better, thank you… hey… please...stop it...” I protested weakly.

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“Oh! Sorry!” Jake breathed drawing his arm back. “Just can’t help it, you know?”

I looked into that grin that I always knew was genuine, and felt tears rush to my eyes and cried again.

“Hey easy! The guards caught the last one, you’re gonna be fine.” Jake shushed, dabbing his handkerchief to my eyes….

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''Oh! Oh..., this isn’t any better with your smell all over it, Jake!'' I thought to myself.

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“Jake, please! You have to stop!” I begged.

“I did!” Jake said, his face now confused.

“No! I mean, you have to stop being so nice to me!”

“Why?”

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“Because! I- I- I’m Mark, Jake!”

Jake scoffed. “What? Yeah right, prove it!”

I crossed my arms, “Fine! Your real name is Jonathan Michelangelo-Routoussi-Tessimar Elvindar.”

Jake froze, and I felt a small rise of satisfaction. Finally! He will recoil in horror and leave me alone so I could-

“-It’s really you? Cool!” Jake breathed.

“What?” I said, my shock rising anew. “Don’t you get it? I’m a man!”

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Jake just raised his eyebrows and kept steady eye contact. After a moment his eyes flicked down and back up. “Yeah? Prove it.”

I exhaled in exasperation…. this was just too much, the terror, the arousal, the disgust, the relief, the trauma, the shock….it was all too much. I felt my body tremble again from the chaotic mixture as my heart hammered in my chest… this was… this was too much!!!

I broke down and cried again, why couldn’t life make sense? Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn’t I just have died? Why couldn’t Jake just have left me to those three men… wait… on second thought, that might have been worse….

'' What am I thinking? ''

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Suddenly, I felt Jake’s hand under my chin. I tried to back away, but his grip tightened. I tried to push his hand away, but he let go and then grabbed my hair from behind my head.

“What-” I started to protest, but stopped as his lips and mouth came just a millimeter away from mine…. feeling his breath upon my face…

He brought his other hand forward, and started to wipe my tears away. The gentle motion provoked even more tears from me, but Jake just kept brushing them away- keeping that torturous distance from me, our lips just barely….just barely… just barely touching….

The frustration now shifted, from tears to gasping again, but Jake kept stroking my face, my hair. He let go of the hair from the back of my head and soothed the spot where it had pulled tight.

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I was free, I could back away from him. I started to, but as soon as I backed away my stomach muscles activated, and the stabbing pain came back with a vengeance. I cried out and instinctively reached out with one hand and grabbed onto Jake’s neck with my fingers to ease the pain.

My cry of pain morphed into a pant, still vocalizing the agony that came with each breath from the blow that bastard connected to my stomach..

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''Oh! Oh! It hurts so much, Jake- read my thoughts, please hold me, I can’t- I can’t''

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I reached out and grabbed onto Jake with both arms now around him. One around his neck, the other holding onto his muscular back! Oh! What was happening? Was this happening?

Our lips met- ''' wait! Who did that? Was it me? Was it him?!? Oh! Oh! '''

' I can still stop this! ' My mind protested. ' You haven’t laid down yet! Stop this! You can stop this! '

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I felt Jake starting to lean down onto the bed, I had to stop this! I was going to! I-

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As soon as my back touched the bed, my stomach muscles relaxed and my entire body rejoiced. I tried to get back up, but my stomach muscles made the attempt nothing but agony. I cried out and didn’t even realize that I had wrapped my legs around Jake’s body.

The heat pouring from him was almost unbearable, as was the heat boiling in my chest, and burning on my face. By now my cheeks were itching like mad from all the tears and the salt irritating my skin. Oh! What- what was happening?!?

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Jake suddenly pulled away and cupped my cheek.

“Melody, just say the word, and I’ll go. But, know this. If you want me to stay, I am going to stay as your husband.”

“Jake….” I cried out “I’m so confused…. I’m so scared… I don’t know what I want anymore!”

“Melody.” Jake said in an even voice. “I give you my word. You know what that means.”

I did. Jake would never give his word unless he was dead serious. Oh! How much more it added to the confusion and chaos within me.

.

“Please.” I begged.

“Please,what?” Jake breathed.

“You promise?” I pleaded.

Jake nodded, “I promise.”

I exhaled, feeling the chaos intensify, but forced myself to speak. “Jake….please….it hurts so much… please be gentle with me….”

I felt a sudden rush of embarrassment as Jake's eyes wandered over my body. I tried to cover my chest and between my legs, but he deftly moved my hands away; deepening my embarrassment as my nipples grew hard and my slit leaked with eager abandon.

.

I reached up, and pulled Jake to me, feeling him adjust his hips, receiving his kiss and tongue with my own. I raised my legs in spite of the agony it brought to my stomach.

I felt his flesh begin to enter mine, feeling him press against something.

I yelped and held him tighter as I felt something inside me stretch and break with a small flash of pain.

The sensations where overwhelming, my head spun and spun so much.. I had to hold onto him to know where I was, to know what I was doing.

Oh!

Is this what it feels like? Oh!

.

I felt a pressure begin to build again in my stomach, the agony hammered upon me, causing me to cry out as I held onto Jake for dear life!

The pain rose, almost seeming to bring me to the brink of death, but all of a sudden all the sensation of pain seemed to rush to where our flesh was connected and erupted along the nerves of my body like an electric current, causing me to shudder in an ecstasy that scrambled all coherent thought. The shuddering was soon overwhelmed by a heat that spread again from where our bodies connected, soothing my now raw nerves, making my head feel weightless and my body grew numb.

I cried out Jake’s name as I felt my consciousness slip away into darkness.

.

.

(2 years later)

.

.

“You ready?”

I startled, still finding it shocking that I was wearing a wedding dress. “I-I-I- s-suppose I am.” I stammered, flexing my newly developed wings and tail. “I don't know if I'll ever get used to these.” I finished with a huff.

Jake grinned and winked. “You look beautiful, you know. I’m just glad I can keep up with you, now that I turned all incubus like.”

“Stop it!” I said with a frown. “This is still all kinds of weird for me, you know!”

“Even cuter when you’re mad.” Jake said with a chuckle.

I pointed and bared my teeth that now had a few small fangs. “You-”

“Are you two ready?" My maid of honor said, poking her head in our tent and wagging the tip of her serpentine tail at me. "It’sssss time to come out, the Hakutaku issss waiting!”

“We’re gonna finish this later!” I hissed to Jake.

“Can’t wait!”

I stepped out with Jake to the gathered crowd. It was the strangest year, leaving the Empire with Jake, settling down in a mamono village, and now about to be married by the same Hakutaku I met long ago!

In the end, I finally made peace with the death I experienced, and the new life that was waiting for me. I placed my hand over my chest, feeling my heartbeat and sighed with a deep contentment in the fact that I was indeed, alive.

I strode forward, holding onto my husband’s strong arm, still feeling a sense of chaos within my heart, but at peace in knowing that between life and death, I chose life.

Between despair or devotion, I chose devotion…. and between being lost, or being lost in love…

I would always choose love.