Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-34904368-20191110040352/@comment-36855838-20191206145323

The sexy kind.

The number of the station is flashing on the screen, and our poor winner (let's call him Dallas) calls in.

"Hello, this is Veronica Sneedley with chips for chaps, would you like to make a donation?"

"Hello, this is, uh, Dallas. The Television says a woman won me?"

"Mr. Dallas, are you the fellow whose house is currently being broadcast on live television?"

"Uh. . . I think so, yes."

(He opens a bag of salt and vinegar flow kelp lays)

"Open the tracking device, sir, inside you'll find a GPS enabled rfid chip, and a small flashdrive, which will include all the necessary paperwork for your marriage documentation, all you'll need to do is fill in the blanks."

"Wait. . . I'm getting married to her?! That woman tore the floor off the stage just by walking on it! I could never afford the repair costs, let alone the medical bills!"

"Calm down sir, we're prepared to pay the full cost of rennovation, treatment, and repair, and we're willing to move you to a sturdier living space!"

"Oh," he sighs slowly, "that's a bit of a relief, but how are you going to do this exactly?"

"Donations, sir, it's why we have the number on screen. I suggest grabbing a laptop and moving somewhere more stable than your apartment building for now, and bring blankets, you'll need them."

He could practically hear the wink as the woman hung up.