User blog comment:Drkness231/Mamono One-Shots S2! Chapter 20: Alraune/@comment-27396735-20151214044118

Excuse me, Darknss231, I'd like to give you a review:

The one shot was nicely done, nicely done indeed. The plot was straight forward; however, there are some issues I have with it. For one, I feel it was focusing a bit too much on Lucy, giving her more development instead of actually focusing on what we wanted to see: Alraune. I can understand if this old work; regardless, I would've actually liked to have read something with more than 1/6th Alraune.

Damon's character was very nicely done, no complaints about him. Lucy's character, however, as a human girl, had some flaws. I don't think a girl would just want to jump in a shower with a boy; but regardless, she's your character. What would've helped with character development is maybe a paragraph or two on history, also physical discriptions, though minutte, probably would've helped; as some people, as I can see, were confused if Lucy was Human or Monster, to be honest, so was I.

As for the Alraune, good set up. I liked how she was a culmination of all the flowers the boy had cared for, so it immediately created a form of intimacy then and there. Keep up with writing, and do not let the trolls get to you.

---

As an aside, if you're still writing, have you considered writing a Monsterization featuring an Alraune? I'd be interested to see your take on a wild grown Alraune and a sexy girl.