Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-28718853-20190421141603/@comment-36855838-20190423061955

I rub the sleep out of my eyes, setting down the baseball bat to clean off my glasses.

"Let's get this straight," I say, "you two were fighting, that much is obvious."

The pair of bloodied, cut, scraped, bruised, sweaty baphomets nod slowly.

"What on god's great earth motivated the two of you to fight at-"

Ignoring their slightly singed hair and eyebrows at the mere mention of some vague deity who I didn't even actively pray to, and returning my glasses to my face, I looked at the clock on my oven, across the house.

"1:23 in the morning, so hard you," I turned to the elder looking of the two, who stood in an uneasy, less mature pose, "managed to huck your own sister through military grade glass?"

She stamped her hooved foot and pouted, before practically exploding.

"My big sister has always been a spoiled brat, cursing other monsters to be teensy tiny forever just because her growth was stunted!"

I blinked, and checked my ears for wax.

"Big sister?"

The smaller baphomet spoke up this time, calm and even toned, her voice almost unnaturally flat.

"Yes, I'm right in the neighborhood of 10,000 years old, at this point, and little," she paused as her sister began to turn a terrifying shade of red, and her sweat began to turn to steam, "or rather, big Andrea here isn't even a sixteenth of that."

I yawned, pulling out my phone, and ran the numbers fast through a calculator.

Turning to the more buxom baphomet, I spoke again.

"'You single?"

She blushed.

"Y-yes?"

I beckoned to her, and once she was in my personal space I whispered.

"Once one of you has fixed my damn window, I'll be happyto help both of you get cleaned up, in the meantine, I'll be getting us all some ice water."

As I shuffled into the kitchen to gather the cups, I felt a hand tug on my arm.

Leaning back towards her, I said, "and I would like you to join me in bed to conclude the evening."

She let out an eep, and rushed off to fix the window.

---

A few glassses of ice water and a guest room setup later, we were all sharing a saturday breakfast before a long day of sleeping in.