Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-28365753-20170427111013/@comment-28718853-20170429220319

"Oh crap!" I cry as I produce an e-tool that I scavenged from a deceased soldier. I raise my weapon high above my head when I notice something odd about the undead: they're all women, oddly cute women.

My mind snaps out of it as I realize that I'm about to be overwhelmed. I then notice a barnhouse off in the distance that could give me some temporary shelter from the terrifying hordes of the reanimated. I fling some gunpowder at an approaching zombie, but it misses by a whole foot. Despite the failed distraction, I make a mad dash for the barnhouse, dodging several grabs by the zombies. I reach my destination and hop in through one of the broken windows, cutting my hand in the process.

I waste no time in trying to barricade the entrances, but the horde is already at my doorstep, trying to get in anyway they can. A split-second decision later, I'm dashing up the staircase to the second floor and sit in a far corner, nothing more than a coward and clutching my little shovel like a teddy bear.


 * CRASH* The windows shatter.


 * CRUNCH* The doors break down.

I'm shaking, and can only wait to become inevitable zombie chow. "Is this my punishment for stealing from the deceased?" I wonder as I see my pursuers appear at the top of the stairs, all of their hungry eyes on me.

I stare upwards and pray to the Chief Goddess that I would be forgiven for my past transgressions and I would be held safely in her arms once I was done for. The horde is slowly approaching me, each precious and agonizing second used up with me screaming and crying in pure terror. I think I may have wet myself too at some point, but let's not go there.

By the time the monsters were within arms reach with me, my vision had gone dark.

"Ohh man, I had the strangest dream, instead of being eaten alive, they were...pleasuring me, I mean they were taking my pants off and going for my sausage, I mean it was...ohhh."

I awaken, and am met with sunlight filling the room, as well as the zombies and skeletons sleeping all over me. I also notice that my pants are missing. As I look around the odd scene, the only thing I can say is, "Heh, well at least I wasn't eaten."

I turn, and I nearly have a heart attack when I find myself staring into the soulless eyes of the woman I saw earlier. "You'll definitely do," she moans as she grabs me and teleports somewhere with me in tow.