User blog comment:Dricsi07/My first story(I will give it a titel when I'm compleatly finished with it)/@comment-5426290-20141125163621

I just read chapter 1.

What I like:

Your story had a good opening, I could clearly sketch the situation from your description.

It is interesting to see that you assume Valkyries to have such a calm and kind disposition. (Not saying that you're wrong)

I appreciate that your character actually gives a reason why he's late, it shows intellect.

I can already see a future couple in the protagonist and Cassandra, which shows comedy potential.

What needs to be improved:

I can't figure out who is speaking till halfway through a sentence.

I can't figure out what sentence is out loud and which one is in the protagonist's mind.

There are quite a few spelling and grammar errors.

Try to describe the surroundings of the protagonist more, it gives color to your story.