Talk:Anubis/@comment-26380985-20160313205746/@comment-27550231-20160409050541

^Going off of this

Stranger: "Well now, I wouldn't get too full of sand now. I have something else to fill your mouth~ ~"

Me: Looks up "René, so we meet again." I see an anubis wearing a tight form fitting khaki safari dress and helmet. she's surrounded by a small tribe of desert Amazoness

René: "You chose the wrong friends hun, Now it's gonna cost you~ ~" She extends her palm out. I reach for the Curved sword and the amazoness raise their spears. I slow down my movements and hand her the sword.

Me: I look her in the eyes "Too bad the amazoness don't know you like I know you toots"

René: "You could warn them hun. -sigh- It's just too bad that you don't speak amazon. Now hand over the Fertility helmet." I untie the helmet from my pack and hand it to her " Did you know that the amazoness have intercourse with their husbands in front of everyone in the tribe to assert ownership of their men?  Maybe after this we could have a little get together at their village, Hmmm?"

Me: "Bite me."

René: "Oh I will hun, and don't worry it won't hurt, unless you're in to that~ ~" She then raises the helmet and sword into the air and says a chant. This causes tha amazoness to bow and pray. I take this opportunity to run away, René sees this and orders the amazoness to capture me. I run to the nearby oasis while the amazoness tribe chases me, as I get to the to of the hill I see Jock and his dragon wife fooling around in the shade.

Me: yelling at the top of my lungs "JOCK READY YOUR WIFE!" They both look up annoyed at me for interupting them. But this only lasts a second as they see the amazoness tribe chasing me.

Jock: "Alright Honey, change into your dragon form we have to get out of here!"

Dragon: "But you know I don't like it when strangers ride on meeee."

Jock: "Alright baby if you do this for me I'll do that thing with the silk hankercheif that you like soo much!" The dragons eyes light up with excitement and grow as she transforms into dragon mode. I stumble onto the dragon and we take off, the amazoness start to throw spears and shoot arrows at us but the back blast from her wings push them back to the earth. While flying away I feel something slithering around me. Then suddenly I'm wraped up by a teenage apophis.

Me: "THERES A BIG SNAKE ON YOUR WIFE JOCK!"

Jock: "That's just our adopted daughter Rachel!"

Me: "SHE"S TRYING TO RAPE ME JOCK!"

Jock: "Come on show a little backbone will yah?"

Me: "MAKE HER STOP!" Jock threatens to not let her watch them have sex if she rapes me. She stops but this doesn't keep her from snuggling with me the whole ride back.