Talk:Grizzly/@comment-26187100-20150329060619/@comment-26219553-20150611090831

Having only ever faced normal bears in my time as a hunter/definitely-not-a-poacher, and Order Customs' crackdowns on illegal imports meaning nobody in my area's read the MGE, I revert to instinct and do what I was always told to do in the event of a bear attack- play dead.

As I crumple to the floor, my eyes shut tightly, I hear the approaching footsteps slow to a halt, along with a few confused noises from my would-be attacker. Doing my damnedest to keep my Guinness World Record attempt for Most Convincing Corpse (metaphorically) alive, I still can't stop the sweat trickling down my face as I feel hot breath on the back of my neck and snuffling noises right next to my ear. Shit, can bears tell whether you're alive or not by smell?

The snuffling finally stops, and the breath on my back fades away, and it's all I can do to stop myself from jumping for joy at not being mauled. Just as well I didn't, anyway, because a few seconds later I'm rolled onto my back before being picked up as easily as a babe in arms and... hugged? That was unexpected enough to make me drop the possum act for a second, but a second was long enough, and by now I know she saw through it anyway. Held in her vice-like but almost maternal embrace, she starts walking back to her cave with me to initiate snu-snu.

Deciding not to struggle for the sake of my health, I hear her whisper one word in my ear before we start moving.

"Mine."