User blog:BTR180/Dragon response

You're a traveling mercehnt specializing in exilers and medicines. Everything from from 'Milk of Wolfsbane' for curing poison to 'Salamander's Kiss' for aiding with burns you have on stalk and sell at a 'resonable' price, man's got to eat after all. Besides, finding all these ingredients can't be a right pain in the ass and then actually preparing it to a useable solution can be dangerous not only for you but others as that same cure of poison that is popular in the desert where scorpions and snakes are common could end up killing someone faster.

Regardless, as you make your way you enter a town up in the mountains. People stare at you and your cart as you enter the town sqaure, "Ladies and Gentlemen!" You called out, "I'm *whatever your name is* and I bring with me various, marvelous medcines and and stiumlats! My potions can aid you with-."

"Shut up!" Someone yells at you.

"We don't need your snake oil! We need a warrior!" Someone else yells at you.

"Warrior?" You repeated to yourself as a large shadow appears overhead. The people scatter at the shadow running into buildings or alleys to hide as a large dragon lands infront of you. You could only stand there flabbergasted as the creature turns to you with a sinister look on her face.

What do you do? - Nola19



Quickly I regain my composure, If I manage to defeat this beast the town might give me a grand reward.

Me: "Ahem! MY my you sure are quite the dazzleing young lady aren't you? Having trouble finding a man to satiffy your need? Are you tired fo flying around hither and thither  just trying to find someone to have some good old alone time but won't just be done after a few minutes? Well you're in luck because I have just the product for you!" The dragon blushes at first to my remarks but then regains her composure and walks to me. The towns folk look at me as I had gone mad.

Townsfolk: "He's been sitting in the sun for too long! It's definately melted his brain!"

I dig in the various shelves and boxes in my wagon while the dragon slowly creeps up behind me.

Me : "Ah! Here it is! Ladies I present to you the OBSIDION DESTROYER!" As I turn around I pull out a large inky black Phallus with a handle on it. Since the dragon was so close to me when I whipped it out she got a face full of phallic violence. "Oh my goodness I am so sorry mam but this thing is just so cumbersome it's very unweildly!" The dragon begins to turn beet red as she realizes what just happend and the many women in the town who saw this also befan to blush. Using both hands I hold the handle of the Obsidian Destroyer between my legs and assume a very suggestive pose.

Me: "As you can see ladies and gentlemen the sheer Mass and Girth of this thing it just divine. The Obsidian destroyer is made of pure Onyx and Obsidian stone treated with Shoggoth slime, and a special mix of Kraken/Scylla ink to give it it's  realistic texture, feeling, and scent." As soon as I finish a gentle breeze blows behind me carrying the scent of the Obsidian Destroyer wafts through town. This get's the proud dragon all hot and bothered. I see this and decide to take this even futher to finalize my sale. "Would you like to try out the obsidian destroyer mam?" Her eyes widen with shock as I slowly begin to thrust with this thing between my legs. It flops around like the real thing and splatters a bit of the slime coatting on the dragons face. She lays there mesmerised by the thing as I slowly thrust into her direction She stares into it's "EYE" and opens her mouth as it's just centimeters away. There's no way it could fit in there no matter how hard she tried but she did it after a few moments of face thrusting I pull it out. "Now now mam this is only a sample. But this could be your's for the small price of-"

Dragon: "WAIT RIGHT HERE!" She quickly jumps into the air and transforms into her dragon form and flys away at impossible speeds, and in a few minutes she returns with claws full of treasure. "IS IS THIS ENOUGH? IF NOT I CAN GET MORE!"

Me: "Now now mam thie is more than enough, the Obsidian destroyer is all you-" She prys it from my hands and flys back to her lair withount another word. As I begin to try and pack my new treasure into my carriage the townsfolk appear and tgive me a heroes welcome. I was dubbed a champion of the town and a festivle was thrown in my honor. As I left I was swarmed with maidens who wanted to come along with me and others who wanted an Obsidian destroyer of their own. "Now now mam I'm afraid I can't take you with me but fear not all you loney gal's I'll return, and with a new shipment Of Destroyers as well!" -Wink-

Song that inspired this whole mess