Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-34263048-20181221172513/@comment-36855838-20181221183647

I'm seated in my rocking chair, a cool summer breeze drifts through my neighborhood, and I sip at my iced lemonade.

A jogger comes along, I recognize him, he's Steve, from that barbecue place a few miles up the road!

The poor sap is in red, and Georgia is out getting her mail at just the wrong time.

She charges for him, and he looks at his shorts, realization hitting too late.

Fortunately, Georgia is a rather nice lady, she stops short, and pulls him into a tight embrace.

Relief overcomes Steve's features, and the two head inti her house at breakneck speed, the mail and jog forgotten.

I see my other neighbor, Mrs. Smith, setting out laundry, her boys are playing with a young girl, who looks a bit older than they are, maybe 12 or 13.

My binoculars reveal her wolfish traits, hidden as they are beneath baggy clothes.

Her teeth have been filed down, likely a worrywart father being overly cautious, of course, they'll be replaced by adult teeth soon, but by then she'll have proper self-control.

The trio tumble about, more snuggling than playing, it warms my heart.

All of a sudden, a loud crashing reverberates from the forest, trees topple in the wake of a wurm, her eyes filled with single-minded lust.

And she's barreling for my house.

No, wait, not my house, for me!

I haven't bought the upgraded insurance package, too focused on overpaying my monthlies to whittle down my debt.

I rise from the porch, pulling the wicker chair with me, and slowly move myself to the driveway, the concrete is abrasive, so she'll stop short or feel the burn.

---

Sure enough, she skids to a stop, and slowly slithers the last few feet towards me.

"Hello, miss dragon! Are you looking to court me?"

"C-court? N-no, I don't want jail again! I want a man!"

At last I notice the neon orange shirt which barely fits over her curvaceous figure, orange is definitely her color, but I'm not in the habit of dating escaped convicts.

"Now, now miss, let's not be so rowdy, have a seat around me, I promise not to move away, so just curl up and I'll hold you, hmm?"

She starts to slap her tail against the driveway, her face blushed and beaming, eagerly she curls around my rocking chair, and once she's situated, lays her torso atop mine.

I keep my word, and embrace her, gently stroking her hair, and give her a bit of my lemonade through the straw.

Soon she falls asleep in my arms, and I'm glad my classes at the Yeti center have seen so much use over the years.

A semi rolls up, the container heavily reinforced, and glowing with runes which hurt to look at.

A pair of Yetis slowly aproach, arms low and outstretched, and a hellhound officer comes slowly behind them.

They manage to subdue the wurm, and carefully transport her to the truck, the officer stays behind, seated on my lap sideways for lack of chairs.

Despite the proximity, she is a credit to the badge, and in no way offensively flirtacious.

"We apologize, sir, but she's been hammering down walls raster than we could put in runes, and our Yetis have husbands, and they need to sleep."

I wave her words off like an urksome fly.

"It's no trouble, life is actually rather drab, she was certainly exciting! Out of curiosity, what was she in for?"

The officer lowered her head.

"Tax evasion, and destruction of property, among other things. Wurms are wired a bit differently, and so they can't really learn anything without some motivation, if you catch my drift?"

"Yes, I think I understand. She didn't hurt anyone badly?"

She looked at me, a gleam in her eye.

"No, sir! I caught her well before that happened! But she did wreck a watermill, among other equipment. Say, how would you like to take part in a new social program?"

I leaned in, eager to hear what she had to say.

"You'd be paired with her, obviously, but you'd basically be a state-funded full-time husband! We'll give you everything you need to set up shop, you'll be in a community of wurms, you'll start in the jail, but once we've set up a proper location you and the other participants will be carted off there, I've heard it'll be open-air."

I looked away.

"I've got debts to se-"

"We'll pay it off, it's cheaper for us, trust me."

I practically drooled at this.

"Okay, let's start on the paperwork, I'll go get my records."

She hopped off my lap, and jogged indoors with me.

"Make yourself at home!"

I sprinted back into my office, and with a few precise turns, the safe swung open, inside sat my financial records, interest and loans and all that jazz, I grabbed the small laundry-bin of papers and hurried back to her.

---

She was seated in my leather recliner, the two yetis were also with her, the three were utterly collapsed, they looked as tired as I felt, and so I grabbed blankets and laid them out on the couch and the chair.

With that done, I set to work writing out all my money still owed, about $7,000.00☆ all told.

Once I'd prepared the information, I strolled out to the truck, the other mumbling about their sunday off.

I open the door to find the wurm inside the truck, the interior space impossibly large, and coated in a room-spanning mattress, soft cushions, and blankets.

I pull at the little switch, raising myself up on the loading platform.

She stirs from her coiled slumber, her face groggy.

"Husband! You came, I knew they were honest! They did care! Yay, yay, yay!"

She rushes forth, scooping me up for a hug, I relax into her arms, no longer so lonesome.

The door slams shut behind me, the room goes dark, and I hear a whisper over my shoulder, a patch of purple visible in the corner of my vision.

"Welcome to the prrrogram."

---

☆ £5542.64