User blog:Regulus Lion/The Day Things Went Wrong


 * "Are you going to come back?" a jorogumo shyly asked. "Please tell me you are."


 * "I am." replied a strong, tall hero. "Anything for you, my dear."


 * The hero's promise was hollow and emotionless, but the young spider did not seem to take notice as she was so fiercely in love. "I love you." She gave the hero a gentle hug, but the hero flinched ever so slightly during her embrace. The jorogumo noticed that. "I-I'm sorry...! Did I hurt you?"


 * "No, my dear. I'm just on edge today."


 * "I-I see. Anyway, please be careful. I love you."


 * The big man grunted a farewell, hoisted his weapon over his shoulder, and left the house with large, bold strides. He was off on a mission, but unknown to his jorogumo lover and the rest of the monster village, he was off to kill the Demon Overlord.


 * Also unknown to the very same people, he followed the teachings of The Order very faithfully and lived amongst the monsters in hidden disgust. He feigned trust and friendship, but in truth, he hated every single one of the non-human citizens on the village. He even was hateful towards the friendly humans, as he saw them as "defying the one chief god." He had thought that monsters were just mindless sources of entertainment. Endless killing without remorse. When a traveling oracle figured out his secret, he murdered her and dumped her body in a nearby lake. The next morning, he told the villagers that the oracle left in the dark of the night. Yes, he was a psychopath. Yes, he was a cold-blooded murderer. But did he care? Not one bit. All he knew was that he was going to overthrow the Demon Lord and restore the land to its "former glory." He had the blessing of Illias so he had nothing to fear. Or so he thought.




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 * As he trecked, the weather suddenly started to rain. He wrapped up his steel sword as fat drops of water fell from the cloudless sky for he feared that the metal blade would rust. Rain from a sunny sky. "Fox's weadding." he whispered. He followed the rain to where it was at its weakest. Sure enough, there was a wedding procession going on.


 * A happy couple was at the head of the parade; an Inari held the hands of a lithe young man. "We are going to be so happy together." The inari sighed.


 * "Despicable." the hero cursed and left before anyone could realize that he was there. Seeing the jolly wedding fueled his hatred against monsters and their human supporters. He found his way back to the trail and marched on with renewed vigor.
 * The bushes in front of him parted abruptly as a wyrm slid out. "HUZZBAND!" She shouted.
 * The bushes in front of him parted abruptly as a wyrm slid out. "HUZZBAND!" She shouted.


 * The man sighed in agitation and fled. He had a great idea that would bring him one step closer to his goal. He ran as fast as his human legs would allow him and beelined straight for the nearest town. A MONSTER FRIENDLY town. Meanwhile, the rock-colored wyrm behind him smashed EVERYTHING in the way as she chased after the hero. "WYRM SMAAAAASH!" she shouted everytime something was obliterated (like that horse and cart) and when something wasn't being smashed to nothingness, she shouted "HUZZBAND COME BACK!"


 * The hero really wanted to laugh at the monster's stupidity, but he knew better than to laugh while running. He had to save his breath for the task in front of him. At last, the dirt path started to meld into a cobblestone one and the town finally came into view. A pair of lizardmen guarded the entrance, swords held ready, senses alert. The hero took a deep gasp of air and zipped straight past the guards and into the busy city. The guards were petrified by the oncoming wyrm and did nothing but dive to the side to avoid being "Wyrm Smashed" into nothingness.


 * The wyrm, seeing that her "huzzband" was in sight, dashed straight towards him, knocking aside carts, monsters, and many assorted things with a mighty "WYRM SMAAAAASH!" The hero dodged into the dwelling of a friendly-looking lesser succubus and sprinted out the back door. The succubus only had enough time to look suprised when the wyrm trampled her house into splinters while chasing after her huzzband. The succubus was hit on the horns by a falling plank and fainted right then and there.
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 * The hero ducked and weaved through the streets, still smirking about the fallen succubus. He purposely located the largest mass of people/monsters and ran into the crowd. The wyrm, having her "huzzband" disappear in such a large crowd, became quite agitated and roared a roar of utter frustration. The crowd stopped what they were doing and looked at the wyrm. Then, the crowd performed a nearly unison scream, and weaker monsters and humans fled into the safety of nearby houses. The remaining, an assortment of armored amazons, lizardmen, even a dragon with a shiny badge on her sharp uniform all rushed the wyrm with weapons raised.


 * "Regiment A-9 to the flank! Stop her tail and pin her down! Regiment B-4! I want you to cover me as I go in!" The dragon barked. The amazons and lizardmen all organized into their respectful groups and snapped into action. The amazons did as they were told and dropped their swords in favor of their bows. With a snap, the bows were strung in a single, simultaneous motion and stretched taunt, with arrows aimed at the wyrm's face. The lizardmen unsheathed a gleaming black blade and stabbed the thin, sharp sword through the wyrm's side scales, as to pin her to the ground with least resistance on their part. After all, the side scales are the thinest.


 * The wyrm roared in pain and anguish and turned to face the lizardmen only to be bashed on the head by the commanding dragon. "Leave them be, wyrm! Your opponent is me!" the dragon commanded bravely. The wyrm wasted no words and gave the dragon a sledgehammer blow to the chest. The dragon withstood the blow with clenched teeth and returned a similar blow. But unfortunately for the dragon, the wyrm activated her other form.


 * The lizardmen pinning the wyrm down were thrown aside with a sickening crack. Their black swords snapped and crumbled into chunks of metal. The amazons fired their bow with startling accuracy and power, but the arrows only bounced off the tough scales of the large, snake-like monster and dealt no damage. The wyrm roared once, giving the onlooking monsters a view of its seemingly endless maw, then dived to deliver a killing blow to the dragon. The hero watched with satisfaction. "That's right ladies. Fight and destroy this town." He smiled.