Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-27950421-20180119131425/@comment-33398500-20180119204219

“Um... bud... I’m fairly certain that that’s NOT how it works...”

This was my statement as I saw my friend currently lighting a giant ball of weed on fire and getting ready to lob it into an orc camp, evidently intending to create ‘high’ orcs on his own. It wasn’t really that surprising though: these kinds of zany antics were actually something I knew my friend all too well to be surprised by at this point.

Shaking my head, I decide wordlessly to oversee the operation to ensure nothing too insane took place, as there was still the possibility of the ‘high’ orcs going out and looking for something to satisfy their hunger and unrestrained urges, though I was, admittedly, unfamiliar with what actually happened, especially with mamono biology.

Just before releasing the ball, he took a long inhale of the smoke emitting from the ball, before firing it toward its destination. However, since he hadn’t done his trajectory calculations correctly, as well as not packing it tightly enough, the ball broke up after firing, part of it simply dropping down the cliff and into a nearby cave, most of it managing to get to the orc camp on sheer happenstance, but a great deal of burning weed scattered into the surrounding trees.

“Well... that could have gone better...” I commented, as usual, having to be the rational voice of our group we hung out with. “However...” I then continued “I suppose most of it did reach the target anyway, well done...” I finished, seeing his discouraged expression become an enthusiastic laugh.

“See, even you’re getting into the spirit! Now let’s go get me a high orc!” he responded happily, now taking off down the rocky trail directly toward the orc camp.

“Even in their current state, just running into an orc camp would be dangerous... I suppose I’ll have to help him...” I commented to myself, careful not to inhale the smoke myself. I’d need my wits about me in order to actually be of any help as I took off after him.

However, roughly halfway to the orc camp, I felt a tremor rock the ground, shaking the rocks on the trail we were standing on. SOMETHING was moving below us, with enough force to shake the hill. “Whoa! You feel the hill moving! Must be the good stuff!” my friend shouted from ahead of me. However, I knew there had to be something that made that happen, as I hadn’t taken anything, and I felt it too.

“The sky, it’s sooooo pretty!” a female voice exclaimed from below us. Looking over the edge, I then saw a wurm exiting the cave that part of the burning ball had fallen into. A drugged wurm? That’s not good... However, I couldn’t help but look over the edge at her as she looked around, her body swaying about, bouncing her ample chest as she did so.

This was a mistake.

After a moment, she sniffed the air lightly, head darting to face me immediately “I smeeeeell youuuu~” she called out to me, shooting toward me up the hill like a torpedo, charging through the rocks as fast as her body would take her “Come here, sweeeeetuuums~”

My eyes went wide as I saw her starting to charge up the hill toward me, my friend not even breaking pace to take notice of it, as he rushed headlong toward the orc camp, several of them now rushing toward him as they had taken notice of the free male headed toward the camp, weapons in hand.

However, by this point, I had my own problem, as I now had to sprint away from the charging wurm. Despite this, as she had advanced from the way we came, I had to follow my friend toward the orc camp, trying to ignore the fact that at least two of the group that were coming out to meet my friend had now taken notice I was coming behind him.

“Noooooo! Coooome baaaack, sweet smell! I waaaanna have your sweetness cloooose!” the wurm called to me as I continued to sprint away from her, gaining on me with every second that passed.

It was impossible to outrun her, and I was quickly coming to a two-sided problem.

In his befuddled state, my friend cheerfully let himself be taken to the ground by the group of orcs that came out to meet him. “Me first~” I could hear one of them exclaim, as the group started to drag him back toward the camp.

<p class="MsoNormal">However, not all of them had gone to meet him, as at least two of them turned their gazes toward me “Let’s help miss wurmy wurm!” one of them then exclaimed. “Yay! Husband time!” The other then responded.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Uh oh...” I started, the two orcs in front of me now barring my route through the orc camp, even as the wurm gained on me second by second, the ground shaking slightly as she caught up with me. “Nothing for it...” I started, drawing a blade about the length of my forearm from my coat: a tool I kept for self-defence, though against the wurm it would have been worse than useless. However, against these orcs, it may save my life.

<p class="MsoNormal">Rushing toward the two orcs now, I raise my blade and start to swing down, only to be stopped by... a kiss? Weapon arm being grabbed by the wrist by the second orc, the first had met my charge with a sloppy, passionate kiss that she pursued even as I tried to retract my face from hers, blade clattering to the ground, wrapping her arms around me and putting one hand to the back of my head, forcing me deeper into it.

<p class="MsoNormal">However, this lasted for only a few seconds, as now another body slammed into us from behind, the wurm sending us rolling on the ground as she’d forgotten to slow down in her intoxicated enthusiasm.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Hehehehe... Thanks, miss wurm!” the orc that had been kissing me called as she now straddled me “Now we’ve got him on the ground!” as the wurm made her way over from where she’d sprawled onto the ground next to one of the structures.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Heeeeey! That’s MY sweetums!” the wurm protested, rushing over to my side and attempting to move herself into position while trying to push the orc out of the way.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Tribe catch, tribe mate!” the two orcs dismissed simply, though neither of them was strong enough, even together, to force the wurm off of me, leaving her to simply position herself, even in the middle of the orc camp.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Don’t wanna wait until we get home! Gonna make you my hubby NOW!” the wurm called to me excitedly as she simply ripped my clothes from my body. “But you can thank the nice orcs for stopping you from running, too~” she then giggled as the two of them maintained their excited expressions, now waiting for their turn.

<p class="MsoNormal">Did these two acknowledge the wurm as their leader now!?