Talk:Lich/@comment-25601391-20150208211319/@comment-25035274-20150209134024

I tip my hat and talk fast.

"Hiya ladies, pleased to meet ya, just stopped by to see if you'd heard the good news about the new and improved Spooky-Vac 9001! It picks up dirt; it deposits said dirt into a proper Dirt Sequestration Recepticle for easy removal, and it stows away in a jiff! It's got 9001 horse-power of suction and all sorts of handy-dandy attachments, and it can all be yours for 5 easy payments of $29.99! Take that, Dyson!

But wait, that's not all! Act now and I'll even throw in three free boxes of Crypt-Cleaner Deluxe Sarcophagus Scrubber! This Super Scrubbing Deadman Detergent has just the right amount of cleaning power to wash away all the grave-dirt and mummy rot while leaving your skin that perfect shade of Deathly Pallor White!

So that's 1 Spooky-Vac 9001 (it's OVER 9000!) and boxes of Crypt-Cleaner Deluxe Sarcophagus Scrubber all for the low, low price of 5 easy payments of $29.99! Looking good in death was never so easy! Act now; supplies are limited!

Supplies are limited!

Supplies are limited!

Supplies are limited!"

...

......

.........

By the time the Spooky Chicks have noticed that I've been replaced with an old Victrola playing a wax record, I'm long gone. The women just stand their stupified as the record keeps skipping on that last line.

"Supplies are limited!"