User blog comment:Aislin Bloodclaw/The monster under the bed-Ch 1: First day of School/@comment-23603505-20150322223545

Amazing good imagery and dialogue, the beginning really pulled me in with the doubtfulness of the main character, the orgin of the demon relam in your story was brief but good, I and the way you discribed the characters espeically the mamonos had my blood pumping, a artist, you did not need to give us a visaul aid your skills at discription are good enough for me.

Though there was a mispelled word (Lok, I'm sure is a typo unless that's how he speaks) I think you should let the main character have some internal confict by questioning his love for the Jorougumo dream girl, as we grow older sometimes we out grow our fantasys as children, let him eye some mamono which intrest or let them pursuit him as he struggles to overcome temptation