User blog comment:Safnar/Monster School (Part 6)/@comment-28166070-20160424000334

Safnar,

Sorry I didn't see a reply button to your reply, so i guess this will have to be a new post.

The first issue is very easily addressed, if you use google docs or onedrive. You can set up an account that doesn't relay your personal information and allows me to view or edit a document. Although, the fact that you say you responded on your phone, makes me wonder if perhaps you were writing some of these chapters via your phone, as the grammatical mistakes are ones that voice recognition software would easily make.

As far as disconnect between the writer and the story, I can honestly say there'd be nothing of that because there's definitely no ambiguity on the grammar issues I'm seeing. I most certainly would not be trying to change your story or write it differently; I'd just be fixing errors. Here's an example: I made two corrections in parentheses next to the incorrect word.

Better hurry she’s about ready to tear cloths (clothes).” A voice said. Hands grabbed us and started pulling us apart but Sara was far from weak and the taste of mana only gave her strength. Her tongue wrapped and played with mine teasing it masterfully even as the students around us tried to brake (break) us apart. It was a struggle to separate us and even when they did the first time Sara shot right back into me when their grip slipped and picked up where she left off, drowning me in desire. Her hands drifted from my shoulders down till they found the rim of my pants but that was the brake (break) the others needed. Sara was pulled away.

And don't worry, I'll keep reading. The story idea is too good to pass up. I just figured this would help, but I understand if you choose to decline.

Cheers!

Xmo