User blog comment:JOVA82/The mansion incident WWYD reply/@comment-32042142-20200803204921

Overall a good story but:

- There is quite a few typos

- The Phantom is referenced several time with he or his, same thing for the Lich near the end

- "The Jerk" is never really "introduced", it seem you removed or did not put the part where he is caracterized, you suddently state he is the jerk with no previous mention, and even later it's mentionend " in his opinion females place is between fist and a stove ", but it's seem to come a bit out of nowhere.

- The "Chimera" is never really described despite it's supposely strange and noticable appearance, but you maybe did that on purpose actually.

- At the beginning you mention there is 9 men participating, but at the end there is 10 of them (1Main Character, 2Will o wisp, 3Skeleton, 4Mummy, 5Phantom, 6Banshee, 7Dullahan, 8Vampire, 9Lich, 10Chimera)