Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-32463050-20170719023704/@comment-34451604-20180124034412

Trying to get my bearings on a world I'm unfamiliar with is not a treat. Still, I've managed to quickly build a small home on the outskirts of town. A town I usually avoid the hell out of because stupidity is apparently both infectious and just shy of terminal. Normally this isn't a problem, with how off these assholes act I have no issue thinking of them as other than human. But they're the main source of my income and I've managed to get a kinda comfortable living. After all a healer with a literal divine bargain in their back pocket is damn useful no matter your community.

But now it looks like that bargain is about to bite me clean in the butt. Because right at the edge of the wards surrounding my home is a gigantic hellhound mamono, made of nothing but muscle too. Massive bite wound on the shoulder and a very tenderized face. Lovely.

"Okay question of the day." I note out loud as I reach into my jacket and grasp at the shadows within. I begin to pull and a tome of fine gold, sanctified parchment and delicate ivory. It's about the size of my torso and weighs about fifty pounds. Luckily I'm often described as a brick shithouse and coupled with my flatcap I've been able to keep most of the perverts in this world away with a thuggish growl.

The tome flashes in my hands, it is the physical symbol of my connection to a higher authority. My sheild, my sword, my saviour and my answer. Speaking of answers, it needs a question first.

"Does a Mamono count for the sake of our bargain?" I ask and open the tome to the final page.

YES

"Okay then." I note before the tome flashes away with birdsong and harps in accompaniment. I clench my fist and raise my hand while channeling the power that thrums in my soul. Golden fire pours from my eyes and her wounds simultaneously and as the fire dims it leaves behind no hint that she's ever been harmed. She does not awaken but she does take a deep and healthy sounding breath.

I heave a sigh as I know just what kind of garbage is about to happen. No avoiding it. No dodging it. I've spent two years using wards, bad manners and all kinds of both magic and mundane bullshittery to keep these freaks at arm's length. Ah well, bite the bullet.

"I invite you into my home." I say to the unconscious Hellhound and she flops through the barrier. A flicker of power and a hand made of golden fire opens the door to my home as I heft up the mamono under the arms and lift with my legs. Bitch be heavy.

I drag the two hundred or more pound woman into my house and grin as we go from rough hewn wood of the outside frame to the polished stone inside. My little Obsidan Palace with white decorations. The boss says it's symbolic, a study of how in the roughest places and surrounded by refined darkness one can still find warm light. Or if translated from cryptic doublespeak 'At least try to give people a chance to stop being an asshole!'. Which is what I'm doing now.

I slowly, ever so slowly drag miss thunderthighs into a first floor guest room and then take a good ten minutes slowly hauling her onto the bed and then throwing the covers over her. I shuck off my backpack and pass it to one of the invisible minders of this place.

The supplies I've bought earlier fly out and all soar to their respective storage places. "Heat the cauldron, prepare carrots, potatoes, celary, leaks and water chestnuts for the stew." I command the invisible entities as I leave the guestroom and walk towards my kitchen. I can only trust these things with the more basic parts of cooking and keeping house, I've go tto do the rest myself and the meat? Not to mention the actual cooking is just to delicate for these things.

The problem is that they can't make judgement calls, so they tend to burn everything. Still, it takes me no time at all to have a couple loaves of bread and a thick and tasty stew bubbling away. It's just about done when a series of nearly silent clicks tells me that my guest has awoken and is trying to sneak up on me. Hmm... this is a Hellhound, meaning... is she going to pin me to the ground? While I'm making the food? That would be just...

My thought process trails off as a pair of muscled yet delicate seeming arms ending in paw/hand hybrids wrap around my chest. "Is this real? Am I dreaming?" My guest asks and I turn to regard her. She's a beautiful thing with glowing red eyes and a covering of soft grey fur over all but the black accents of her more beastly parts.

"You're not dreaming. You did however choose pretty much the best place possible to pass out." I note before stirring the stew a bit. I move to taste it and she plucks the ladle out of my hand and gulps down the stew.

"It's heavenly." She notes with a tone of wonder in her voice.

"You're a lot closer to the truth than most." I say as I use a touch of power to bring a pair of ivory bowls out of the cupboards and then place more stew in each. I set them aside and get the cutlary we need. I push her back a little and she doesn't resist before I send the bowls floating to the table as I pull out the bread. "Now, I'm sure you have questions."

"Why did you help me? What are you and what is this place?!" She asks quickly and I chuckle.

"I helped you because I'm under contract with a higher power. I am one with a contract with a higher power and this is my home." I answer in an entirely unhelpful way. She glowers at me and takes a pointed bite of her loaf, before promptly devouring the entire thing as she learns that it's a massive bacon bun. I don't blame her, bacon is physical proof to most that the creator is both real and loves you dearly.

"I'm Nathan, I fell into the places between worlds and cut a deal with the heavens. I'm their agent on mortal realms in exchange for both power and the ability to re-enter the physical world. I'm not tied to the so called 'Chief God' or the Monster Queen. I'm part of something... more interested in doing good than following laws. As such I'm obligated by contract to heal and help everyone that hasn't done wrong to my knowledge, and it extends to Mamono as well. So when you fell unconscious due to wounds at the edge of my defensive wards I had to do something." I explain at length before drinking some of the stew broth in order to soothe my throat.

"And this place?" She asks and I grin.

"Welcome to the third realm of heaven. We're in my personal home of the Obsidian Palace. The Lady Sophiria grants them to her Agents of Healing and Redemption." I say and she stares at me.

"I'm dead, I died a virgin!?" She demands in shock and horror.

"No." I remark. "You're very alive, I just dragged you through a portal." I remark before I take off my flatcap and roll my shoulders a bit. Then I start to tuck in, not looking up as she starts eating too.

"Atlia." She says after refilling her bowl twice.

"Your name's Atlia then? Any family name?" I ask and she shakes her head.

"No, how about you?"

"The uh... place between places is no place for a person. A lot of who I was has been lost. I don't know, Lady Sophiria and my fellow Agents are all my family now." I note before taking the last bite of my bread.

"Well then... in that case this'll be all sorts of fun..." Atlia notes with a growing smile on her face.

"Do recall that I'm literally divenly empowered. If you want to try forcing the Hellhound idea of fun that I can and will put you outside the wards in much worse condition than I found you in." I remark and she pauses before smiling.

"Oh? So what if I do this instead?" She asks as she slinks over the side of the table and leans down with a hug and a hot breath in my ear. There's the slight sensation of a gentle nibble then a lick.

Then there's a flash of light and a high pitched giggle. We both look up in shock and there, bathed in golden holy light is Lady Sophiria with a camera. She takes out the picture out of the slot and gives it a few waves. "Ohh this'll look good in the photo album! Have fun kiddies!" She cheers before vanishing.

"You heard the Goddess! Time for fun!" Atlia cheers brightly as she hefts me out of the chair and carries me out of the room as fast as she can.