User blog:Vindraaj/Response to Hellhound kickboxing.

'''You and your Hellhound waifu have taken a subscription from a new Gym. Upon visiting the gym you see a  mature hellhound staring at you. Your waifu introduces her as Aunt Edna. Now your waifu has gone to complete her advanced training course while your are stuck in the intermediate course and Aunt Edna is a strict instructor. She takes your to the ring and forces you to have a kick-boxing natch for your cardio purpose, she won't take no for an answer, what would you do? '''

I sigh and roll my eyes as dear aunty Edna points imperiously at the ring, which causes her eyes to narrow at my attitude.

"You got a problem with taking orders boy?" she snarls in my face. I gesture to my abadas, cordel, and the shirt that clearly says "Capoeira" on it.

"I'm not a kickboxer, just wanted to work a few drills." As I start to walk away, she grabs me by the shoulder and spins me around quickly, I suddenly find myself nose-to-nose with a furious looking hellhound.

"Perhaps I didn't make myself clear, dancing boy," She growls through bared teeth, "IN. THERE. NOW!!!"

Weighing my options, I decided I didn't feel like losing any teeth today so I shrugged and stepped into the ring. Doing a few warm up stretches, I notice that my wife Allie had taken a seat next to the ring, an amused grin on her face as she prepares to enjoy the show. Loosened up and ready, I see Edna glaring at me from across the ring, waiting for the match to begin.

"Ready? GO!" Allie shouts and Edna wastes no time closing the distance with me, opening with a powerful spinning crescent kick. I smile as I put the evasive acrobatics of capoeira to good use, spinning under her attack while instantly countering with a kick to the back of her head. Edna staggers foreward and looks back at me with an irritated expression as I began performing capoeira's moving stances.

"What the heck are you doing!?" She demands, "That's not proper for kickboxing!"

My smile widens and I reply "Of course not, I told you I'm a capoerista, remember?" Edna snarls furiously and ramps up her game, attacking me with a swift set of combinations. What I cannot dodge, I move with to negate any damage, all the while continuing to work in my own counters. Edna is in top form, I have to give her that much credit as it takes all my skill to keep her from simply overwhelming me; but I see my actions are starting to take their toll as well as she begins to pant for breath.

As I go for my own spinning crescent, she suddenly sweeps my leg out from under me, giving me a grin of victory. Such a strike would have left me vulnerable, if not for the fact I had been in this situation countless times before. Arching my back, I perform a backwords walk-over which I instantly transfer into a scissor kick, sweeping her legs out from under her.

Eyes widening, Edna gives a startled yelp as she suddenly hits the floor. I quickly disentangle myself and position move above her with my hand at her throat, ready to tear it out. She stares at me wide eyed as Allie begins to laugh and slap her thigh in amusement.

"See Aunt?" She says while gazing at me proudly, "He's a decent little fighter... for a human." Standing up, I offer Edna a hand up and smile at her.

"Not bad for a dancing boy, eh?"