Board Thread:Roleplay/@comment-31401828-20170430110442/@comment-29564364-20170504215345

Spazerz wrote:

(You can join in on one condition NO OP characters [...]) (Alpha: That might be problematic... No matter how you look at it, I'm just too OP for a prison setting. I mean, just intangibility alone makes containment impossible, even more so with teleportation. ...I know! If I can't be played, then let's just not play me.)

A policeman enters the prison, pulling a cuffed individual. Mostly black clothes, 1.7 m, dark skinned, black hair and dark grey eyes. Probably in his late teens. He walks up to a waiting staff member, clearly impatient to rid himself from his burden. "We're bringing another "special case"."

Me: "Oh, I'm a special snowflake? Great! Didn't know I'd have the right to a special treatment."

Policeman: "SHUT UUUUUUP!!!"

Me: "I haven't screamed at you, so why are you screaming at me?"

Staff member: "Another one?! It's the fourth one in three months. According to the archives, that was to be expected. But still, just how many of them are there?"

Policeman: "I have no idea, but this one's so obnoxious...! Since we caught him, he just kept talking and talking all the way here. "The only reason I'm here is because I willed myself to be caught." "Are we there yet?" "What kind of prison are you taking me to?" "Does it have good food?" Blah, blah, blah and blah. He never stopped for the whole five fucking hours!"

Me: "You should watch your language. Throwing swear words shows a lack of professionalism."

Policeman: "I couldn't care less right now! We tried to negotiate, he mocked us. We tried threats, he just laughed them off. We tried force, our stun-canes were ineffective! I even tried shooting him in the head (with DRS bullets) and it did nothing!"

Me: "Yes, it hurt. And a lot."

Ignoring my comment, he resumes his rant: "In the end, we taped his mouth, but he started humming loudly as his eye flashed the lyrics in morse. If it were for me, I would have dumped him in the water somewhere along the way and forgotten about him."

Me: "Useless. I would have swum out. That would be basically setting me free. That's what I was going for, but it seems I underestimated your patience."

Policeman: "SEE?! Do you have ANY idea what we've just been through?"

Staff member: "And me who thought the others were condescending... You can leave it to us, we'll take care of him from here."

Me: ""It"? I'm not an object, you know?"

Policeman: "Oh, THANKS!" He turns around and heads the way we came.

Me: "Hey, where are you going? You're leaving me here? I thought we were BFFs! Can I at least have your name?"

Policeman: "Fuck off!" He shouts as he gives me the middle finger before stepping foot outside of the building.

Me: "Alright. "Fuck Off" that's noted. I'll find your number and call you, okay?"

Policeman: "Please, don't even bother." The door closes behind him.

Staff member: "Follow quietly." He firmly orders with a yank to my links. Escorted by four guards, I am lead to the through the empty corridor, where my cell awaits me.

Me: "Sooo where's everyone? I can't be the only one in such a high security prison, right?"

Staff member: "Now is free time period. They must be out in the courtyard."

Me: "So why the four additional guards?"

Staff member: "For you."

Me: "You don't need them. If I wanted to escape, I would have been outta here in less time than it takes to say-"

Staff member: "Silence!"

Me: "No cliché name calling like in prison or military movies?"

Staff member: "I find name calling to be nothing more than a waste of saliva. I believe one does not require belittling of others to impose their authority."

Me: "Oooh, so you're the nice guard...!  I get why you're not ranked higher... " I add in a mumble, "Then mind if I call you... um... ehh... Ah! No, that sounds stupid. Let's see... ehh.... hmmm... That's it! Nah... uuum... Sorry if it takes some time, I'm not very good with names... *whistles* ...I found one! ...Nevermind, it doesn't fit you after all... umumum... hmmm..."

Staff member: "I said quietly! Stop making those annoying noises!"

Me: "I'll go with something simple then. How about Nice Guard."

Nice Guard: "..." ''That man was right... He never shuts up!''

We finally reach the end of the hallway, where my cell awaits me. Unlike the other cells of this level, this one has concrete on either sides of the door that, for window, has two thick sheets of plexiglass reinforced with steel grilling both inside and outside. In place of a keyhole is a keypad counting every letters of the alphabet and above, a little screen displaying thirteen empty squares.

Me: "G-A-U-E-B-O-D-U-N-N-Q-P-C"

Nice Guard: "What?"

Me: "The password is G-A-U-E-B-O-D-U-N-N-Q-P-C."

His hand quickly dives into his pocket and pulls out a shriveled piece of paper that he quickly unfolds and reads "G... A... U... E... C... O... D... U... N... N... Q... P... B..."

Me: "Two letters off? That's close enough."

Nice Guard: "H-HOW DID YOU-"

Me: "I scanned the keypad for fingerprints to determine which keys were the most pressed. All I had to do from there was run a custom decryption algorithm I made on the spot and voilà!"

Nice Guard: "Now I understand why they sent you here, you really are dangerous."

Me: "If you'd take the time to know me, you'd quickly realize I wouldn't hurt a fly. And I can't even open it from the inside anyway."

Nice Guard: "Regardless, I'll need to have this code changed for now." He punches in the streak of characters and the door slides open, revealing the locking mechanism: six metal tubes that extend from the top and bottom of the doorway to secure the door in place. "In."

Me: "Okay, okay. No need to push me." I take place in the dark confinement and he removes my cuffs before stepping out.

Nice Guard: "I will inform the warden of your arrival. As for your personal guard, she shouldn't be long. Until then, these men will make sure you don't escape." As the door closes, the tubes can be heard sliding in place and the sound of pressurization resonates through the empty hallway of empty cells.

???1: "Well, well, well..."

???2: "Hey, what a surprise!"

???3: "What are you calling a surprise? To be honest, I was expecting it."

The neon on the ceiling fills the room with a bright, but pale blue light reveals the presence of three individuals who would look the same as me if it weren't for being of different colours.

Alpha-2947 (identical to the original): "You look a whole lot like Omega."

Alpha-3171 (identical to the original, except with blue clothes and hair): "So, what happened for you to end up here?"

Alpha-3956 (described at the top): "Omega happened. You know how he is... He challenged the Demon Lord and I was the one who had to get him out of trouble. It ended up with me creating a duplicate like him as a decoy for the royal guard and here I am."

Alpha-2502 (identical to the original, except with red clothes and hair): "I played Robin Hood for a homeless man ruined by a Gyoubu Danuki. I hacked the account of her company and transferred all the funds to people in financial distress and charity as she watched the numbers drop off her screen. In bonus, I recorded her reaction with the security camera in her office and sent the video tape to the man."

Alpha-2947: "I ruined the Black Mass of one of the Demon Army's generals with Wonderland cakes. Unfortunately, it turned out the Baphomet's onii-chan was one of the best lawyers in Royal Makai."

Alpha-3171: "Our reputation alone was enough to get me arrested..."

Alpha-3956: "How did you even get-"

Alpha-3171: "Plot hole!"

Alpha-2947: "You could have easily-"

Alpha-3171: "PLOT HOLE!'"

Alpha-2502: "There's no way the police could-"

Alpha-3171: "PLOT HOLE!"

The three: "OKAY, we get it!"

All four: ". . . . ."

Alpha-3956: "Soooo..." And thus was the beginning of a loooong moment of silence.

(In the future, I'll refer to them as "Alpha-[colour of clothes]" to avoid confusion.)

[Done]