Talk:Dark Angel/@comment-27800590-20161002232706/@comment-26376061-20161105044450

I walk up to the soldiers. "Good evening, men. How much?" "How much WHAT?" "How much money for the first-class onahole over there?" I point to the Angel. "I kinda need one, because I've got a meeting with R'lyeh in an hour, and I don't wanna go without a good-" "R'lyeh...this man has associated with the foul, twisted, eldritch demons under the sea. Kill him!" Bingo. Exactly as planned. I stand there, staring, as a sword is rammed through my gut...only to pass harmlessly through. I get "injured" another 14 times, before one of the shocked men asks "Swords don't hurt you...neither do arrows or magic...WHAT ARE YOU?!" The shadows of obhects around me begin to distort. "Ha. Trust me, you do not want to know that." I grab one of the men by his neck, releasing the madness in my mind which has only been multiplied by my exposure to pure chaos (My Shoggoth waifu.). "Agh...AHH! AAAAHHH-ARGDRHXHTXNNGJFUDJXTJVFUVFNDUC..." I drop the man, leaving him to the parasitic insanity eating at his feeble mind. "Who's next?" They bolt, screaming about a monster clad in human skin. "...you okay?" I walk over to the Angel, untangling her from the mess of chains. "THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME!!! Did you really mean it when you said "first-class onahole"?" "Um...yeah...please...loosen your grip...I'm being crushed..." The Angel releases me from my imminent death by hugs, and kneels down. "I must...reward such a kind, brave hero..." "Um...what? No, wait, Morgan would kill me! I-" I am then tackled into the ground and raped.