Talk:Redcap/@comment-30061283-20161124004732/@comment-30421579-20161128015236

First things first, I'm unprepared, so I have to go back to town. When I get there, I find Jeb the Bum. We know Jeb is quite the creep, becuase he has been caught spying on the local elementry school every so often. I offer Jeb 50 bucks to "bang a girly hermit outside of town", and since Jeb lacks both itelligence and good morals, he takes my offer. I return to the ruins with Jeb and get him into the room where the Redcap asides. I slam the door to trap Jeb and wait for the screaming to evolve into the noises of pleasure. I slip into the room, swiftly take the Redcap's key and lift the treasure out of the room, all while the Redcap is too busy raping Jeb to notice me. I get the treasure, the Redcap gets a husband, Jeb gets to live his gross fantasy and my town gets to sleep easier.