User blog:Flamebiplane/An Important Nope Industries Announcement

''Attention all employees and representatives of Nope Industries

Management is not sure if you are aware, but there has been a recent increase in deities that are living on this planet. Because of this matter, we are going to be taking some defensive measures to ensure that our company and the town of Jundex is safe. By defensive measures, we don't mean weaponry, we mean devices that will please them should any of them ever decide to visit the town. We are implementing a new system called the God Anger Suppression Tech, or G.A.S.T. that will be spread throughout our headquarters as well as Jundex itself. Certain types of G.A.S.T. will need to be utilized in order to ensure that these divine beings' enjoyment is as high as possible. Devices like cupcake levers, yarn ball launchers, dog biscuit dispensers, squeaky toy dispensers, cake elevators (make sure they're not lies or we're doomed), mechanical massagers, and even giant fluffy pillows will be used according to the visiting deity. However, if Mark Yunder, that guy we laid off months ago for constant negative behavior, has somehow managed to achieve godhood and has returned to Jundex looking for vengeance, then there is no hope, and we are all royally screwed. Let us hope that doesn't happen. In the mean time, keep up the good work, and stay safe!

Signed,

Nope Industries CEO,

Jeff Harlburg''