User blog:Redknight910/WWYD Wurm RealityWarper

Prompt:  You are running away from some Order soldiers who want to burn you at the stake because you had a copy of the Encyclopedia which is considered heresy.

You find a cave and hear a female voice crying, thinking is someone else fleeing from the soldiers too you go in, instead you find a crying Wurm and ask her why she is crying.

"Waaah! No man wants me because me stupid! Every time I seek a mate Im turned down! Waaah!"

Surprised and curious you ask her why doesnt she just take the men she wants.

"Sniff.... snif.... because Ms. Cheshire Cat says I have "stupiditis" which will make every man I touch automatically explode and the only cure is for a male to willingly kiss me! But no one wants you because Im a stupid girl and not as nice as a cow girl! Waaaah! I cant stand it anymore, my sex cave hurts so much! Waaah!"

Suddenly you are reminded why you are here as you hear the soldiers approaching and worse of all, since they already entered the cave you cant explain.

You explain the Wurm the situation as she looks in confusion as you try to hide. She stops crying and smiles.

"Oh I know. You become my mate so you dont explode and me punch bad oeople until they go away! Please! I might be stupid.... but I have a nice cave and will give you lots of food. Please say yes!"

She says as she gives you a toothy grin trying to look cute

Answer:

With the options I have, sure, no problem, I'll kiss her if she takes care of the bad people. With a happy squeal she rushes off, and I hear screaming, metal being struck, and then silence. I pop out from behind the rock I was hiding behind, and my eyes go wide.

She's standing there, huge smile on her face, hugging her tail, and surrounding her are about twelve fully armoured men and two mages, all unconscious, I hope, on the ground. One of them has a shield with a hole punched clean through it.

The wurm starts slithering back towards me. "Can I have my kiss now?" She has the happiest, most adorable look on her face, and it's impossible for me to say no. I lean in and kiss her. I get wrapped up in her arms and tail as she squeals in delight.

"Now I can have you and keep you and marry you and have your babies and we'll be so happy forever and ever and ever and..." I stop her tirade with another kiss. I ask if before we get to the loving and baby making, can we deal with the incredibly dangerous and probably quite angry soldiers? She looks at me confused.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:normal;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"But I already dealed with them..." I meant get them out of the cave, maybe somewhere far away. "Oh... okay, just wait right here." She says, grabbing four of them and leaving. I could probably leave right now. Just walk straight out of the cave and continue on my merry way. But then I think about the look on her face when she finds me gone. And I remember what the encyclopedia said about wurms...

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:normal;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">I decide not to go anywhere, and instead just wait for her to finish clearing the people out. Then I promptly get tackled to the ground. She's sitting over me, eyes bright and smile brighter, and I can feel her tail swishing between my legs. "Now can we start making babies?" I smile at her, leaning up to kiss her again. Once she tells me her name.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:normal;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"...Um... my name is..." I raise an eyebrow, does she really not remember her own name? She takes another few moments before bursting into tears again.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:normal;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">"I caaaaaannn't! I'm so stupid!" I kiss her again to calm her down. If she can't remember her name, then what does she want me to call her? "Um... Clair sounds pretty." Well then, I'll call her Clair. And now we can get onto the fun part.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:normal;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">I quickly learn firsthand just how energetic a wurm with however many years of unsatisfied lust can be. We do it for the better part of a day, stopping once when order soldiers came to try and deal with us. They didn't get far once Clair noticed them.

<span style="font-size:10pt;line-height:115%;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">Once I'd recovered from the initial marathon I decided to explore the cave. There was a comfortable bed of grass and moss, and a few rooms with varying amounts of shiny things in them. As we lived together I had her make rooms for various other things, and when we had our first little one I had her make a room for the newborn. Our cave and family grew, and when my wife tried to warn our kids about stupiditis I told her it wasn't contagious.