User blog:TricksterPriest/Allan's adventure in Wonderland: Prolog

I like the idea of an Order POV.

Warning, some violence.

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I hate March 20th. I should be excited. Tomorrow's my 30th birthday. The day I am rewarded for my holy purity with the title of Wizard. But today I'm up 2 hours before dawn leading a patrol in a quiet hunt through the streets. Same as every year since I joined the Order. Because today's the Vernal Equinox.

And the damn rabbit's been here.

We have to wear rags soaked in cow urine over our faces, to cover the smell while we search for the brightly colored eggs the thrice-damned were-rabbit left all over the town. We aren't the strictest Order town. We just try to keep ourselves safe. Live and let live. We thought it was a cute attempt at civil outreach from the mamono. Until that hatter's kid ate too many and went nuts. So hear I am, in full plate befitting my rank, directing troops to search for candies that all smell like cow piss no matter how brightly colored they are. "Over there, under those bushes." I point out in a harsh whisper.

"Thank you, sir." Darryl, one of my new recruits whispers back. As he bends down to pick up the candy I see him freeze. Sensing his apprehension I slowly draw my blade, illuminating the yard in its magical light. A holy sword enchanted by an angel, I know it shall not break until I do. It glows in the presence of demonic energy. Not as useful a trait as I once thought. The thing glows almost all the time. The candies have been setting it off since we started this assignment. Darryl scrambles back as a were-rabbit leaps out at him.

"My, aren't you a cute one." She coos at him as Darryl frantically pulls his crossbow around from behind his back, half strangling himself in the process. "Oh, do you want to sink a hard shaft into little ol' me? You won't be needing any toys for that!" She leans forward to put down the basket she was carrying. I know I can't reach her before she can leap onto Darryl, but I can damn well cut her head off before she can get him out of his chastity armor.

"Oh but look at the time," she says with a smile. "I really must be going." She quickly whips the basket in my direction and leaps up to the roof of the house, bounding away. I block the basket with my sword, getting covered in sugary powder from the demon treats.

I've never been this thankful for the urine rag. "Darryl, Jacob, to me!" I cry, "the rest of you continue your duty. We must protect the children." I run around the houses. While the bunny may have speed and agility, she is trying to evade me through town. I'm not falling for that again. I know where she's coming out. "Ready your crossbows, men," I say as we reach the edge of the village. "The rabbit hole is there in the woods, you have a clear shot as she crosses the field."

"Damn," Jacob mutters, "Something cut my string." "Jacob, cover Darryl." I order. "I'm going to flush her out." I stalk along the town outskirts. As usual, she's waiting for me to get close so she can say something witty as she runs to the woods. I try to sneak as quietly as I can. It's futile against her hearing, but she has to think I'm sneaking, after all. A smirk grows on my face. I've fallen for this the last seven years after all.

Thump thump thump thump thump, I hear behind me, as she kicks a shed repeatedly. "You're getting slower, old man." She taunts. "Were you hoping I would catch you?" I lunge at her, but she backpedals out of reach. "Umm, umm, umm! I'd love to pop your cherry, my Sundae knight, but I'm afraid I'm on a diet." I wave my sword in a wide arc to draw her eyes while I throw a dagger, but she weaves away. "you are a good dancer, Allan, I'll give you that. I'd love to dance again, but I really am late." With her final quip she goes bounding across the field.

Twang.

The were-rabbit trips and falls. she has a bolt protruding from her left leg. Good shot, Darryl. Center of mass on a human may be the chest, but for a were-rabbit you aim for a leg. She looks over her shoulder at me and for the first time in a decade I actually see fear in her eyes. I hear Darryl call out in surprise, but I don't falter. I've been cleaning up after this bunny for too long. Even injured and hopping on one leg, she's moving at what I would consider a jog. I'm running full out. Just when I fear she will make it to her hole anyway she takes a bad bound and lands on both feet. Her injured leg gives out and she rolls over it with a cry.

I quickly close the distance. She's on her back, I can see the bolt has pierced her all the way through her thigh, and from the angle snapped inside her leg as well. "Please, Allan," she pleads. "I'll do anything you want! Spare me, noble Sir Allan." She scrambles backward, but far too slowly, with her right leg twitching feebly. "Anything, please." I see her eyes drift down then back up to mine.

"You think that'll work on my now?" I almost laugh.

"I won't come back! I swear by the Queen! I swear by the Demon Lord and the Gods!"

I hold my sword out and level. "I don't trust you, tricksy bunny." I say, "and even if I did someone else will come next year." I step up to her and raise the sword. "I need to send a message to wonderland that you're not welcome here." the bunny looks past me, and that's all the notice I get before getting shoved from behind. Off balance I trip over the were-rabbit's head and barely am able to land without losing my sword or spraining something.

I turn and ready my sword. Jacob is rushing to me, 20 yards and closing. No sign of the one who shoved me. I quickly spin around, but nothing to see.

"Twas brillig, and the slithy toves," a playful feminine voice behind me sings. I turn and slash at air. "Did gyre and gimble in the wabe." I see the grass move. An invisible mamono, trying to distract me.

I turn my attention back to the were-rabbit. "I am sorry," I apologise to the bunny. "I did mean to give you a clean death." I feign a lunge at the prone rabbit, but pivot to make a wide swing at my invisible pursuer. A loud twang as my sword is deflected high by Jacob's rapier, as he stands before me holding his sword ready.

I notice Jacob isn't wearing his rag anymore. "You bloody traitor!" I yell, swinging hard at him. He is giving up ground, barely deflecting my bastard sword away with his light blade. "How long have you been working with them?" I drive relentlessly. "You sell out humanity for a fluffy tail?"

"I work with you!" He cries, feebly trying to still my blade. "I'm sick of cleaning up these candies every year, terrified we may miss the wrong one. I hate the stupid rabbit too!" He parries a bit too hard and my heavy blade cuts his. "But they don't kill!" He lowers his broken sword. "We shoot them, we trap them, we stab them."

"They rape us!" I retort. "They destroy our minds! Our very souls! They will bring destruction on everyone!"

"They bring love!" He cries, "you don't understand! They attack because they can't bear it. They lust and love so much more than we do. A mamono attack isn't about power or dominance. It's a loss of self control!"

"It is you who doesn't understand, Jacob. What happens when the last woman is corrupted? What happens when the last man is seduced? What happens when the last man dies in the arms of his loving bunny?"

Jacob drops his broken sword and falls to his knees. "I'm sorry, sir." He closes his eyes and holds his head up high. "I have failed you."

"Gods be damned, Jacob," I admonish him. "I'm not going to chop your head off."

His eyes open and a smirk grows on his face. "I was hoping you'd say that."

I give him a solid kick to the chest. "You don't have to be so smug about it though." I look back to where the were-rabbit was laying. My fight with Jacob had pulled me quite a distance from there. The were-rabbit was being carried off by the invisible mamono. "So, you don't like bunnies?"

"I don't like that one." Jacob nodded toward the rabbit heading down the hole. "She's had a thing for Darryl since he was a kid, apparently. Creepy old rabbit."

"But why didn't you block my stab at the bunny, if you wanted to save her?" I ask.

"One, that was a feint. The same feint you taught us a thousand times." He says, getting up, "and two, I wasn't saving the bunny."