Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-35898511-20190127005844/@comment-35898511-20190130071959

Justheretowrite wrote: Let's chop this sucker down to size, eh?

---

You were a boy with strict, anti-mamono parents in a mamono free town.

Now, you are a man who shuns mamono, living in a town which has recently become a demon realm.

You are one of the only men in the city that has not truly submitted his heart to the mamono, if not the only one, thanks to a fake ring, and an amulet passed down to you by your family.

The amulet has magical powers that will make the wearer immune to demonic energy, and suppress their lustful impulses.

It also makes you feel empty.

The fake ring, on the other hand, doesn't have any magic components.

Wearing a wedding band does help with convincing mamono that you're married.

Living in a place that has mamono running around everywhere you go can be nerve-wracking you.

Seeing monsters every day when going to work, buying groceries, or going for a walk could break lesser men with fear, disgust, and or hate.

Or perhaps they would instead submit to their beauty, power, and alien charm, but not you.

The amulet makes all those pesky feelings go away.

One day, while out on a walk, a Witch walks up to you to ask if you would like to have a good time, you refuse, but she decides to be a extra persistent, hugging your arm telling you she can bring some friends to improve the experience.

You tell her no again, and tell her that you're married.

Halfway through talking she stops her jabber noticing the amulet you have forgotten to cover up on your chest, shocked by it she says,

"Hey, that's an illegal item you have there! Who are you?"

You push her, and run back home as fast as possible.

You avoid leaving the house for the rest of the day.

---

A few days later you were relaxing on the couch, listening to the radio.

Suddenly, there's a news flash.

"Be on the lookout for a man who possesses an illegal item, a magical amulet, we don't have the full details on the man in question but we will soon enough."

You turn up the volume.

"According to eyewitness testimony, it's a type of amulet used by people who wish to suppress their unwanted desires, those wearing it will no longer outwardly exhibit said desires, but this has very unhealthy effects."

You clutch at the amulet,

has it-

"The relic is said to devour emotions and desires, leaving the wearer essentially an empty husk deep down inside, a husk who walks the earth with no anger, sadness, joy, or guilt. It eventually destroys the ability to feel any pleasure or displeasure whatsoever."

You're seated, otherwise you would have collapsed from shock.

"So if anyone finds the person who has this item plea-".

You turn off the radio.

Not long after, there's a knock at your door.

WWYD?

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Minor grammar and spelling correction, fiddled a bit with sentence structure, including pronoun usage and your/you're.

Swapped some words out for ynonyms with greater emotional significance, and re-centered narrative focus onto the "You."

Eliminated some vague language, and exceedingly, excessively, extensively, morely repetitive language.

Thank you. so are you saying i should use the version of the paragraph you made or what? im not a good speller im not going to know what is and what isnt wrong with every word of every sentence i just write it and see what grammarly does to improve it