User blog comment:The Reptile King/Reptile Kingdom What Do's/@comment-27950421-20171229161656/@comment-30700719-20171230015812

I raise my blade. "For the Goddess!" I take two steps forward and slide on a discarded shield, my foot sliding out from under me. Well, looks like I'm not very good, either,​ I think to myself. "Egad! Curse you, hellion!" I attempt to push myself to my feet, and end up flailing around uselessly as friction betrays me. One of my feet slip into the shield, catching hold. I slide a good ten metres, shakily catching my balance. I look down and see another shield, as well as a spear. A fire lights in my eyes and a smile a Cheshire Cat would be proud of creeps onto my face. I reach down and swoop up the spear, using it like an oar to move over to the other shield. Slipping my foot through the strap, I sheathed my sword and gripped the spear tightly. "You shall pay for the damage you've wreaked on this camp, harlot!" She giggles a little. Still fucking around with her eyes closed. I slammed one end of the spear into the ground, digging past the layer of soap and rowing forward, like a guy on a gondola and posing the part, too. I bend down a little to bring the spear up into her jaw. She catches it with one hand. "Heh." She flicks out her arm, sending me spinning around like a boat in a whirlpool. I jam the spear into the ground with a little too much force, lifting me up about half a metre off the ground. My spear practically disappears as I sprawl out on the ground. My head falls to the side, and a glaive catches my eye. I attempt to scramble over to the glaive, slipping and sliding like a guy-well, like a guy covered in Mizu bubbles. The glaive slips right out of my hand, and I grab a nearby shirt. ​​I wrap it tightly around my wrist, then dive for the glaive again. I grab the pole and raise it towards the Mizu. Or at least, I try to. She plants one foot on the blade, and I curse. Reefing forward on the glaive, I raise one foot as I slide towards her. She opens her eyes in surprise, and time slows down as I gaze at-no, into her beautiful silver irises. Then, of course, she slips backward away from my shield. I use my momentum to swing the glaive around, bringing it down over her head. She dodges out of the way, and I swing it back into my grip. "Ha! You are no match for a soldier of the Order of the Chief Godde-" She fires off a well-placed jet of water that cuts through my breastplate, and it falls off in two separate pieces. "Oh, shut up about that already! Geez..." I crack my neck and throw off my helmet. "Very well." I push off against the ground, sailing towards her. Bringing the glaive up, I swung it at full force. She simply ducking out of the way, spreading more soap on the ground, but I pushed off again. Suddenly, a feathery missile whistled through the air, just missing one of the Mizu's ears. She looked up to see about a dozen or so archers fully charged and aimed at her heart. She looked back at me. "Be gone now, monster, or your fate shall not be so lucky next time." She glanced back at the archer squad, then flung out her arm. I threw my arm up to protect myself and the archers let fly their arrows. About twelve loud pops​ came, and I lowered my arm to see a wall of bubbles, all light pink. I breathed out in relief and turned to the firing squad.

"Looks like I am pretty good, amirite?"