Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-34263048-20181001143651/@comment-36855838-20181002044702

"I took out a major loan, believing I really was that good, and haf my brother bet on the fight."

I leaned in and whispered in his ear.

"And if we lose our bet, I'm in Forty mil. to The Mob."

Sweat poured down his balding forehead.

"I- I don't follow."

"I know your pals are well connected to the underworld. I trust you've heard of a certain Raccoon by the name of 'Granny' Smith?"

I saw the color drain from his face.

"Now, I don't know your pals, but I'm pretty sure all of you know who Madam Smith is, and what she does to people who don't pay up on time."

He gulped audibly, his eyes shifting through the crowd.

"So you'll know that if I can't pay her back because of how you've tricked me, I'll be a man with nothing left to lose, a man who can kick that lady's ass, a man who will hate you."

I lean back, staring him dead in the eye.

"A man who knows where your mother lives."

He's trembling so bad I'm sure they can see him shaking from the back rows.

I go in close, and give him a hug.

"So, tell your pals not to do anything stupid to sabotage the fight, okay, Lenny?"

He returns the embrace, and I pat him gently on the back.

"And tell them I'll compensate all their losses if I win!"

He lets me go, a big grin on his face.

I rush back into the ring, pumped up and ready to win.

Lenny is cheering me on, and then the ref' calls me over.

Me and Tanya, my opponent, lean in, football-huddle-style.

"It seems you need to be reminded of the rules."

Faster than I can dodge, she kicks me in the Testicles.

I collapse to the floor, writhing in agony.

I stay that way for what feels like an eternity, until I feel something cold and wet on my cheek.

I open my eyes to see the Kobold licking my face.

She strokes my head gently, licking my face all the while, it actually tickles, and soon I find myself petting her.

''Wait. . .''

Where did the pain go?

I stare at her, bewildered.

"I dated a wizard a few 'undred years ago, and I learned some tricks involving healing magic."

She cups my junk to prove her point, and sure enough, instead of excruciating pain, I find myself pushing back against her soft hand.

"Alright, get up."

She stands, and offers me her hand, once I'm on my feet, she shoves me by the back into the center of the cage.

She pulls a list of rules from a satchel and begins to read.

"No attacking staff, especially the ref', no soaking opponents in your blood, no charm spells or other assorted lust magics, no burning your opponent, no oatmeal, no freezing your opponent, no weapons or weapon accessories, no using blood-soaked, flaming, frozen-oatmeal weapons on your opponent or the staff. . ."

Four minutes later, she's finally finished.

"THREE!"

"TWO!"

"ONE!"

"FIGHT!"

Tanya shows an unbeluevable ferocity, and I can barely keep up.

I'll have to end this quickly if I want to take the win.

''Let's see. . . I'm in tip top shape, but Tanya is teetering and swaying, and we're down to the last forty seconds!''

''She's not quite a 'gator, but I think this should work! Trivia cravings, don't fail me now!''

"Hey, hey, hey!"

""What."'

"I'm gonna deck you in the schnoz!"

"What?!"

I capitalize on her confusion, and the blow connects!

Her jaw drops, and her tongue lolls out,her muscles go slack, and she collapses into my outstretched arms mere moments later.

I lay her onto the floor.

"CAN I GET A TEN COUNT!?!?"

"TEN!"

"NINE!"

"EIGHT!"

"SEVEN!"

"SIX!"

"FIVE!"

"FOUR!"

"THREE!"

I stand over her, triumphant.

"TWO!"

She stirs from her reptillian stupor, groggily, she looks up at my face.

"ONE!"

She moves to stand, too little too late.

The bell rings,and my brother and I just acquired forty mil.

Shame we'll have to share.

I tear my wrappings off with my teeth, and move to pick up my wife.

I get the ref' and Tanya's manager, Samantha to come along, and we go to get Lenny and his pals.

With Lenny, Marcus, and Damian in tow, we make our way to the box office to place a phone call.

While I'm on the phone discussing a meeting place with my brother, Lenny, Sam, and the ref' tend to Tanya's wounds.

Soon we're all eating at quiet little a drive-in burger joint on the outskirts of the city.

My brother joins us soon after, and a good forty mil. changes greazy hands as we all gorge on parmesean & garlic seasoned steak-cut fries, burgers, and holstaur milkshakes. The holstaur part-timer joins us for dinner, and she and my brother quickly hit it off.

About halfway through, Arianna 'Granny' Smith joins us at the table, her long, lush white hair and plush, curvy figure drawing all eyes to her.

Her smile is wide and greedy, but comforting too, a grin which proclaims, "You have not failed me yet."

She joined us laughing, drinking, and eating, and then left with her $40,001,000.99 in cash.

And Lenny.

My Brother and the waitress were next to depart, heading for her place, she mentioned off-handedly her fifteen sex-starved sisters, or somesuch, as they left.

I left next, my gleeful wife in tow.

When we arrived home, my parents were lying asleep on the couch, holding each other tightly.

My stepmom being a Kikimora, the house was basically spotless.

We slunk our way over to a reclining armchair, turned down the elevision, and fell asleep in each-other's arms.