Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-28718853-20180305235614/@comment-30700719-20180306020602

I quickly explain the situation to her. "Long story short, this kid o' mine wants to take over the world. I can't let that happen." I rub my chin with ingenuity. "Hmm...you know, if you showed him your skills, I doubt he'd call you 'trash'..." I casually offered up to her, expecting her to have some wicked claws or something (you know, the relatively cute thing that turns out to be sixteen different flavours of dangerous). She nods, and with surprising speed, she coils up like a spring and jumps, tackling him to the floor. As she almost frantically rips through his clothes, I shield my eyes, expecting some gore. Instead, the first thing I hear is a wet slap. Lowering my arms, I gap at the scene in front of me. The woman-thing was actually raping my son, right there on the deck. I couldn't see the look on his face, but god, I wish I had. I looked around, then suddenly remembered the portal. After forcibly dismantling it, the sounds of sex still continued. "Hey! You there!" I yelled up to his assistant. "M-me?" he asked, pointing to his chest. "Yes, you! Tell you what, if you step down from up there, I won't beat you round the head with this gun!" He paused, then replied, "But how can you get up here?" To demonstrate, I raised the Lvl 78 Cluster Rocket Launcher and pointed it at the wall. The tiny but impossibly numerous explosions blasted a channel through the wall, effectively making a horizontal trench. "That's how," I said. He looked over at the damage, then back to me. "Alright. I could go for pizza, anyway." I nodded and put down the weapon, smiling. "There we go!" We both turned back to my son, who was still pinned down. With perfect timing, he cried out in pleasure. "I reckon we oughta leave the two lovebirds alone, if ya know what I mean." The assistant stepped down the hole in the wall, and I shook his hand. "Nice to me you. The name's Boris." He pushed his glasses back up on his nose and replied, "Mine's Edgar." I shook my head, muttered, "Figures. Damn kid..." and we left.