Board Thread:Introductions/@comment-25799194-20141202174153/@comment-25035274-20141202213221

Alack! Alay! For mine name be-est not Mary, and I be not some meddlesome Broodmother that wouldst call herself by name of Matchmaker!

However, as I am not a man without some amount of both sympathy and empathy for mine bretheren, I shall assist thee as I am able. To that ends, I wouldst give unto thee the following advisement.

Simply put, Brother (and I may be so forward as to refer to thee as such), I suggest unto thee a contest. A simple game. A diversion, really. Makest thou a request of the maidens three that thou hast spoken of.

The nature of the request is of little consequence, so long as it doth meet thine requirements. For mineself, as example, I mayest request of the maidens fair that they shouldst endeavor to maketh for me a sandwich of most sublime craftsmanship; a sandwich most lovingly assembled from the meat of beast and fowl, and the most succulent of vegetables, and topped with the perfect measuring of condiments balanced so as to grant to the base ingredients that most perfect level of enhancement. For thineself, Brother, thou mightest request similar, or aught else that thou dost find pleasing.

Alas, I find that I hath digressed near to the point of losing mine way completely. To return to the matter at hand, once thou hast made thine request thou shouldst await the results of the endeavors of those ladies most fair. As their tasks hath been completed, thou shouldst asses their work with senses most keen, and using such results as basis for thine decision, choose for thineself a wife from amongst them.

But yae! Harken unto mine words, for shouldst thou not be decisive in thine judgement; shouldst thou indeed tary o'erlong in thine choosing... It may well be that thou shalt no longer have fear of being forced to make such a choice. For the maidens, themselves, may taketh the choice from thine hands. At such a point, and despite such noble feelings of monogamy and loyalty, though mightest find thineself wed, post-haste, to a veritable bevy of brides. And long shall be thine nights, indeed.