User blog:Party Vanderbilt/Party's What Do Wonders - Echidna Edition

Archived from the Echidna page, originally in response to a "What Do You Do" scenario posted by Mad Larry, presented here in mostly unedited form:

"You are in a store resuppling as youexit the store a beautiful lady comes up to you and tells you about some ruins with treasure in it.You ask her to show you where it is and she agrees to.You get to the ruins and turn to thank her,but she has disappeared.You enter the ruins and make your way to the center of the ruins.You enter a large room and in the center is the woman who told about the treasure and brought you here.As you walk towards her she turns into an Echidna.She extends a hand towards you with a smile on her face.

What will you do?"

--

As soon as she sprouts a snake-tail I'm all, "WAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!" But not in da buttz-kickin' wayz. More in the Charlie Brown way.

Once I've stopped freaking out, I ask her where the treasure's at. She just sort of motions up and down her body.

I've just spent God only knows how many hours traipsing through a dungeon, with monsters trying to seduce me at every turn, so I finally just say, "Screw it," and go with the flow.

Next day, I show up back at my parents' home with a new wife. They ask me where the extra mouth came from, and I explain I saved her in a dungeon. They then ask how I plan to pay for her, so I explain that the evil monsters in the dungeon were actually broke as Hell, and didn't have any treasure.

My new wife asks why we're at my parents home to begin with, and I have to explain that we're going to have to live in my parents' basement, "just 'til I can get back on my feet."

She is not amused.