Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-28718853-20180807230519/@comment-32042142-20181007190208

As far I can tell it's pretty great. (I'm not really good about judging the quality of a writing, generally I only criticize the coherence XD )

The only thing I see is that the first time the Vampire is called Anna by the Demon, then later Anne.

" to make sure our new hubby learns to respect u " I don't really understand why you suddently write one word in abriged, maybe a bad habit? That kind of little mistake can be resolved by re-read your story, sometime you just don't see them I guess....

You have 2 paragraph which begin by 'you see', as say before, I'm not an expert, but I think it's generally for the better to avoid adressing directly the reader in your story.

But for a first story it look really good to me.