Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-35836714-20190520180645/@comment-35836714-20190521171455

Renegade Zavier your reply was certainly a fun little read that's for sure. The only thing i noticed while reading it was that you always end dialogs with "say", "ask" etc. so i would suggest you either leave them out entirely once the dialog is started or you use google to find other phrases.

Instead of "say" you can use words like  "countered" if you OC is in adispute, "barked" if he speaks back sharply or "joked" if he cracks a joke, you get the idea.

As for the speak of Mamono i suggest you use dialog tags which convey their fellings better or some that paint a better picture of them speaking. For example: Insead of said you can use words like "teased" or "moaned".

There are a huge ton of options just a google search away, which really pep up a boaring dialog where all sentences are "said".

As for the story itself, it was up to this point not bad, so just continue and try not to lose the threat while writing, which often happens to me when replys get too long.