Talk:Hinezumi/@comment-25817038-20160118054419

I want someone's opinion on this idea of adding this idea to a book I'm working on:

Main character: Soldier/Scientist from a world like ours, except more advanced summoned to the MGE universe. He is genetically enhanced and is very proficient with the art of fighting with bladed weaponry, specializing in use of Halberds and Swords. However, what he isn't very specialized in is Martial Arts. This poses a problem for our protagonist because despite being genetically augmented, his strength and abilities only rival that of a common Incubus, and many monsters like Ogres, Minotarus and the like, drastically overpower him and outclass him in battles, so he needs someone to help him train in hand to hand combat, because though he specializes in bladed weaponry, both of his personal weapons are in fact, left on his home world.

Enter Mina-Hime, a Hinezumi who our MC has come across while completing a task given to him by a Lilim he is doing work for. She is in a tight spot, being far, far from the Mist Continent, and now confronted by both the Order's church knighs and templars, but also a nobleman of a neutral territory that has bought off the Order overlooking a monster, in exchange for her capture and subsequently forced servitude under him.

A conflict ensues and of course, our MC and Hinezumi come out victorious, though now is when the story can take a turn for the interesting. Witnessing our MC's ability to fight, the Hinezumi is intrigued by him, and during their couple of days heading back to the nearest safe town, the two converse several times. The conversation stumbles onto the topic of her asking him about his fighting experience, and him admitting that he has only gone through basic combat training back home, and would like to know a little more about hand-to-hand combat.

The Hinezumi, intrigued by our MC, offers to size him up with a couple of sparring sessions. During this time, our MC is effected by the flames of the Hinezumi, but maintains his composure long enough to see the fight through. However, though he is strong, she outclasses him by orders of magnitude and within minutes, has his back to a tree, her foot firmly hoist high above her head and wedged into his throat, pinning him to the tree. She pulls her foot away, stating he's not too bad, but has a long way to go before he can hold his own against her.

Watching her walk away, the MC's eyes are locked onto her ass, the flames leaving his mind in complete disarray. Ignoring her words, and standing back up one last time, he calls her out for one more fight - and this time foregoes his martial training for basic hand to hand, free style fighting. During the fight, our MC blocks a punch by the Hinezumi, and throws her light, small body over his shoulder, accidentally into a nearby river. She lands on her feet but immediately, something is amiss in her stance and her now-unsure disposition leaves her vulnerable to the MC charging in as if she was completely ready for his offense.

The fight ends with the Hinezumi tumbling back into the water, landing on her butt, her tail, hands, and feet drenched in the water revealing her silky white coat and now bashful, shy, defeated face. Wasting no time, our MC tackles the Hinezumi, bringing her over to the shoreline only far enough she would not be submerged and proceeds to take her by force, driven mad by the charms of her flames.

The next day, the Hinezumi wakes under a blanket in his arms - and after breakfast and once they are safely in town, the Hinezumi offers our MC a deal. She wishes to continue traveling this 'new land' for some time, but given what has happened the night before, she declares him her husband and states she wishes him to become stronger and more skilled. So, once she is done getting her fill of the new land, she states she will come to his home in the Lilim's city and personally train him until he is skilled to her satisfaction. This leaves the MC with little to no choice, any time he speaks up the Hinezumi silences him, citing what he had done to her the night before, and how many times he did it, as well, effectively declaring that a Hinezumi's marriage.

What are your thoughts? Cliche? Boring? Do you like it? Would you think it'd be worth reading? I'd love feedback on the idea, as I'm still putting together segments of my book's plot and this seems like a perfect scenario to add.