Talk:Girtablilu/@comment-27069434-20170104192149

Girtablilu venom IRL confirmed!

Sup, folks, been a whle since my last visit here, so merry Crhistmas and a happy New Cockatrice year to everyone! i've got some info arachnatide fans will find awesome here really exists a venom that causes you to have a monstrous boner!

Yes, that's right. A forced poison-induced boner from a single bite! So the other day there was this venom hunter or what's-his-name-again-oh-who-cares show who went on talking about all sorts of spiders. There was this brazilian spider - a banana spider by other name, I think - that had a nasty bite that, among other not-so-amusing effects caused male genitalia to experience a suddden violent bloodsurge, or, as we call it, a "boner".Which, exactly as the article above says, is huge, towering mpossible to appease and mildy/pretty/fricking painful depending on the amount of venom.

But there's a catch. This nets the poor sod a debuff called impotence. Permanent one at that.

Aha. That's right. the poison makes your organism pump your cavernous body full of blood and does not know what "safe word" is, thus it will overcharge your manhood, causing excessive strain on tissues, which will cause the pain and, most importantly, the muscles enabling your lil' monster to rise properly to tear. So, once the venom wears off, that'll be it, the last accord of your member's swan song.

That is why those spiders suck. or, perhaps, our free-of-sex-trauma-healing-demonic-energy world sucks. because, really, if one can get rutted by a hellhound without his pelvis being shattered and ground into a fine pelvic bone dust, should we wonder that girtablilu venom overdose does no permanent harm to our lower regions (aside from a few dozens of sting marks)?

So there's that, chaps!

(P.S. A link for those who care to read a more scientific-lookalike text or won't believe something happening under their noses until shown a prooflink/proofpic: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazilian_wandering_spider)