Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-28718853-20181031134713/@comment-36855838-20181031143750

I'm not dealing with this shit.

I pull out a dog whistle, "extra intensity."

"W-wait, don't!"

The heads squeal in unison, jumping back.

I slowly walk past, keeping my eyes on them.

One of them glares, the right head.

They pounce, and I blow.

The shrill sound may be inaudible to me, but the Hellhound is clearly in excruciating pain, doubled over and clutching desperately at her six ears, trying desperately to block out the noise.

I keep blowing for a few more seconds, and she topples to the floor of the cavern.

"I'm sorry, but I need my money."

I hurry to the front door, with half an hour to go.

12 knocks and ten minutes later, the door swings open.

A frigid blast of air knocks me off my feet, and out steps an Ice queen, the inner halls dripping with water, and her hair a soaked mess.

"Oh! Right, I ordered a pizza."

I hold out the box.

"That'll be thirty Coronas, twelve crescents."

She takes out a coinpurse and pours out all of the money, it looks to be five times the cost of the pizza.

"Keep the change."

I turn to leave, when I feel a damp cloth pressed to my mouth, and black out.

I wake up in my truck, the money box in my lap, and check my watch.

It's 3:00 A.M.

I'm soaked, and the Ice queen is just outside, leaning on the opened car door window.

"You really did a number on my Doggy, you know."

I give her a tired look.

"I'm sorry, really. I was warned by the last three pizza guys to come here, said that she'd cost them their deliveries. Money's been tight, couldn't risk mom's life. The whistle was cheap."

She puts a hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay, my little Doggy has had herself a litter or two, wants her kids to get married properly. She'll look it over if you marry her daughter."

At that, she wolf whistles, and a hellhound with three heads bounds towards us out of nowhere, much smaller, at about seven feet tall, but much younger looking, aside from her generous curves.

"Is this the man? The one mommy said I could marry?"

The Ice Queen smiled.

"Yes, she always did like deliverymen. Had her fill of two paperboys, she did," she whispered into my ear, then. "She's a mailman's daughter, loves long walks and lots of exercise. Have her bring things to people, she's a trustworthy courier, and I daresay she'd be a valuable breadwinner for you in your job."

I nodded slowly, unlocking the doors.

"Hop in, honey! My name's Steve, what's yours?"

I check my pocket for the whistle, it's there, but smashed.

"Amelia," her three heads smiled brightly, and soon I was fighting off three puckered sets of lips.

"Have fun, kids!"

As Amelia closed the windows, the Ice Queen stalked away, dripping wet in the volcanic heat.