Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-46700864-20200829135509/@comment-46053166-20200909181638

Well, I've just completed a game of XCOM 2. A Long Wank of the Edgelords run, too, so I believe that this is my time now.



I'm now an Elder, leader of the Ethereal Collective, and by proxy, the ADVENT Administration. What do we do, you may ask.

Well, we do this:



What's my job? Well, sit in a life support chamber for god knows how long and wait until my puppet government kidnaps enough people, melts them into golden genetic material, mix them with my DNA, and then from there create a new body that can support my immense psionic power without suffering intense muscular deterioration.

What's that? A new world, with new humans (which are still somewhere in the middle ages, unlike the previous humans who have advanced far enough technologically) and diverse races of humanoids, which also look like humans? What's that? All of them have magical powers? Some are just as similar to my race's psionics? Well, just harvest them, we're gonna need more human DNA for the super-duper secret Avatar Project.

Wait, what do you mean, the Manono races slow down our Avatar research?

What do you mean, their black Demonic Energy goo is contaminating the genetic materials?

What do you mean, some of our troops are defecting after that black goo messes up their control chips?

What do you mean, the Manonos are mounting a significant resistance?

What do you mean, XCOM is back and they are also mounting an even more effective resistance?

What do you mean, XCOM managed to steal their Commander away from us?

What do you mean, XCOM managed to wipe out one of our regional HQ and liberate that same region?

What do you mean, XCOM has discovered the Avatar Project and the other dimension?

What do you mean, XCOM is blowing up our Avatar labs?

What do you mean, XCOM managed to activate the Codex?

What do you mean, XCOM managed to steal our genetic material?!

What do you mean, XCOM managed to unite the three prominent Resistance Factions, the Order, the Royal Makai, and their gods under their banner?!

What do you mean, XCOM managed to steal our Avatar template?!

What do you mean, XCOM managed to steal one of our psionic gateway portals?!

What do you mean, XCOM drove back our invasion attempts at the liberated region and the Manono hordes at the same time?!

What do you mean, XCOM repelled our attempt to capture the Commander... twice?!!

What do you mean, XCOM managed to take one of our incomplete Avatar body and kill it?!!

What do you mean, XCOM managed to kill all of our Chosen permanently?!!!

What do you mean, XCOM has their own Avatar?!!!

What do you mean, XCOM managed to hack in our psionic network?!!!!

What do you mean, the entire planet Earth is having a global riot?!!!!!!

What do you-



Ah, shit.