User blog comment:The Reptile King/Reptile Kingdom What Do's/@comment-31401828-20180223171250/@comment-30700719-20180223231605

I rush over to her, slashing through her bonds. "How long have you been out of the water?" I ask desperately. "Only a few minutes..." I princess carry her over to the water, and gently reacquaint her with the water. "Now, I have two questions. One, who did this to you? What kind of sick monster would do this to someone?" She gave me their appearance. "And number two. Could you please bite down on this squeaky toy? Flavoured with chicken." Confused, she bites down. "Thank you, ma'am. I'm sure those douches won't find themselves on this beach anymore..." I said with an evil smile. I look back at her and say, "Don't worry, I'll dilute your venom so that they don't die." The Sea Lamia nods in approval. "Thank you, mister...?" I wave it away. "Just call me the Lotse." I walk away holding the squeaky toy filled with venom in one hand.

Two days later, local news reported that two men in their late teens had been hospitalised. They were lying flat on the floor of their apartment when the landlord came. Blood testing has revealed that they were poisoned with an extremely powerful, yet diluted venom. Due to the wildlife of the area, the origins of the venom are yet to be accurately discerned. Two small notes were found at the crime scene, taped to both boys' back. The first read, "Next time, don't be a douche." The second one read, "KICK ME". No suspects have been discovered.