Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-460372-20190618023055/@comment-73.22.96.146-20190627030030

The next day, I invite my wife to a picnic. I bring her favortie lunch and we eat, having casual conversations all the while. I ask her how her day had been yesterday,"Fine, fairly normal, you?". "It was pretty good for the most part. I caught a big koi, the weather was great, and I saw an old freind from when I was young. Only sucky part is that one of your assasins tried to kill me." She sits there stunned for a minute, before sputtering out a response,"I-I-I... I didn't send an assasin!". I start cleaning up and as I walk away tell her,"We'll find out." A couple months of investigating and failed assasination attempts later, I find that she really the culprit, and prepare the punishment. One day she wakes in a dimly lit room tied to a chair. I walk in,"I have conclusive evidence you were the one trying to kill me, and now you'll pay". She's petrified in fear, and I pull out the most terrifying thing of all, a triple decker cake. I throw it at her, and throughout the day use various stupid things such as pies, shaving cream, a beautiful pony, and pumpkins to "torture" her, but it's more just stupid shenanigans. After the day is over and I let her go, she asks,"why?" to which I respond,"I don't fucking know you think I have a clue what I'm doing? I just didn't feel like killing you or maiming you. I just let some of my old unserious self slip out."

"Also all the foods were expired. Have fun with food poisoning!"