User blog:Alcadabra/Chapter three

Chapter Three

“Most dramatic suicide attempt, I’ve ever seen. Impressive,” a husky female’s voice, a sound of power in her voice.

“He’s broken…” said a second, more elegant voice.

“He’s shattered, you mean,” came the first, “turn him over, we should see to his injuries.”

Surprise registered as he looked up at two lovely, but not all together human women looking at him. The first, with purple hair, horns, violet and burgundy scales, clawed hands, wings, and tail, he would have called a dragon woman, except for two tentacles that swept around from her back, each with a mouth that smiled down at him in an especially disturbing way. The second was more conventional, pale, with raven black hair, in a dress to match. She had knelt, and the slit in her dress showed a great deal of her leg, which he might have enjoyed under better circumstances. He tried to sound nonchalant as he looked at them and said simply and awkwardly, “hi.”

As the pale one helped him to sit up, he had a shadow of a wild elation at being able to unleash years of anger and resentment against himself and for now he felt almost good, but actually it was closer to placid. He smiled to himself as he realized he had bruised a rib, and felt a strange sort of pride that he had been able to do it to himself while beating on himself... he decided it would only hurt more if he kept trying to think about it.

“Was it worth it?” asked the black haired beauty. He let out a sigh and looked into the darkness of her eyes, finding neither reflection or end, and nodded. As she looked, she could not find any trace of the madness that had griped him to fight in such a feral manner. “Hold still,” she commanded as she started to lick the cuts and lacerations that he had incurred.

“What… what are you doing?” he asked softly, his voice somewhat slurred from the swelling. Finding it emotionally uncomfortable, but curiously erotic.

“Vampires can seal wounds with their saliva, so in effect, healing you. Also finding out what you taste like, very complex, hints of spice, darkness and light, depending on where you hit the tongue,” she stated with a mixture of poetic license and a strange matter of fact tone.

“Well, like an aged wine, good, I’m glad,” he wasn’t even sure if he had meant to be sarcastic or not. She grabbed his head and kissed him, forcing her tongue inside she danced with his, as he let out a surprised “merph.” Shocked, body tensing like a board, he slowly melted into it, drawing a knowing smirk from the draconic woman watching. Soon the cuts in his mouth were closed, and the tang of iron was gone, she pulled away from the kiss flinging her hair back, the barest hint of blush on her cheeks.

“Better?” he could only nod, feeling light headed, and unsure if it was from her sucking out the air or the blood. He got up and moved to the creek, driving his hands and head into the water.

“He’s not trying to drown himself is he?” asked the dragon.

“Give him a moment,” and after a few seconds more he burst out of the water, face flushed and let out a primal cry.

“Damn, that’s cold. Any better?” he panted.

“Seems to have arrested the swelling, given where you are, you should return to your handsome self in no time,” stated the vampire.

“No, I’m not,” it came out automatically, but with a sincerity that caused both women to cock their heads.

“Of course you are, or I wouldn’t hunt anything less,” said the dragon. She noted that despite his looking at her feet, a slight blush came to his cold wet cheeks.

“We haven’t introduced ourselves, I’m Sophia, a court member of the White Queen,” said the vampire as she curtsied.

“I’m Valatrex, a jabberwocky, although I’m supposed to take you to the Queen of Hearts. I’ve been tracking you since you stepped foot in my woods,” she stated with an imperial tone, and folded her arms across an amble chest. Her tendrils nodded and smiled.

“THE Jabberwocky?” he asked with such awe and curiosity that he didn’t notice Sophia examining his hands.

“There are a few of us, not just one. And who are you? I have a feeling you aren’t named Alice,” Valatrix stated as she examined him, poking him in the belly and finding it much harder than she expected.

“No,” he smiled, “although it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve portrayed a woman. I’m Jeremy,” he stated, unsure if he should give his true name as such things have power, especially with the Fey.

“A woman, hmmm? Are you an actor?” he nodded to Sophia’s inquiry. “Interesting, you’re a little older than most who come here, and few make it down to Underland. How did you arrive?”

“Cheshire cat, I was napping,” he ventured, “I fell and hit the ground, same here, I fell through a crack in the trunk of a tree. I was being attacked by some woman in armor.”

“That explains it,” came Sophia’s amused reply.

“You a virgin?” asked Valatrex bluntly.

“What?” he chuckled in disbelief at the question.

“He’s not, he has just doesn’t have the smell of it,” chided Sophia.

“Been awhile? Well, at least you have experience.” She patted Jeremy’s head, who was already starting to feel child-like as he only came up to her collar bone, forcing him to either look up into her gorgeous face or down at her ample breasts. A few lewd comments came to mind as he habitually ignored them.

“Nothing broken, and the swelling seems to be going down…”

“Pity, so are you flaccid now?” teased Valatrex.

“Well, I won’t explode, if that’s what you’re asking,” he fired back. He was getting used to her, she reminded him of a few people.

“Too bad, so why did you do that? That attempt to drown yourself?”

“Didn’t want to wreck your diets with sweet cream.” Jeremy was shocked at the realization that although he still had the quickness, he was fairly rusty after years of trying to filter his language.

The Jabberwocky laughed, “You just might be alright.”

He shook his head, “I hang to the al-left, actually,” causing a snort from Valatrix. “So, now what? I go to both courts, see who wants me? Or do I get a tour, I wouldn’t mind seeing what Underland has to offer?” The women looked curiously at him.

“What about your shadow self?” asked Sophia.

“Well, if he wants to stay, fine, but he’ll need to catch up to me, I’m not waiting for him,” Jeremy responded defiantly flippant.

“You won’t survive without him,” stated Sophia flatly.

“He’s just a face for the darkness within me, not the darkness itself. It is as now a part of me as is my blood for good or ill. Besides, I’d never give anyone, especially my own construct that sort of power over me, not anymore. If I leave now, a little of me stays behind, escapes, becomes something or someone different, he’s welcome to try. Probably the greatest victory I’ll ever have, to be a shadow of someone else,” his face was grim, and they guessed that he was only vaguely aware they were still there.

The two women monsters looked at each other, and nodded saying together “The demon.” One of Valatrix’s tentacles wrapped about his waist. “Come on, we’re going to get you some help.”

“Why?” his voice became stone, as he stopped walking causing them to stop.

“Your human, you can’t see what we see. You’re alive of course, your heart still pumps, you take each breath, but you’re a shell, with just shards and dust inside. We could take you right now, your body would respond, but you wouldn’t. There is hardly any of you left,” stated Sofia softly.

“I’ve made it this far, years, didn’t want to, but I’ve been stopped every time I try to do otherwise. Medications keep me going… I’ve tried positivity, therapy, doctors, hospitals, spiritual...” he sighed, “you are correct, I’m a shell, and worn to the point that I figure at some point that too will just shatter or blow away as dust in an autumn breeze. I wish it would hurry.” He seemed thoughtful and resentful at the same time. “In the meantime, I try to do my best, try to help who I can, try and make sense of why I’m still here. I push myself so I don’t have to deal with the voices in my darkness, try to keep a half step ahead so at least some part of me is not enveloped. I’m a part of the very thing which consumes me. I’m not sure I could handle the true colors of emotion anymore, too bright, too vivid, gets twisted back on itself.” His shoulders drooped, but he looked around, “I would like to stay here, it seems fitting, comfortable. Besides you ladies are here, who wouldn’t want that?” He wasn’t sure if he was giving in or attempting to flirt.

The ladies watched as the anger and distrust melted away giving way to defeat. “You’ve both been very kind, especially… Valatrix, if you’re a jabberwocky, why are you anthropomorphic?” he realized he was jumping topics, he wasn’t sure if it was his ADHD, or just a nervous habit. “Who would be so jaded to even threaten you with a vorpral sword?”

“I can have more fun like this,” she showed off her buff but still luscious body, “but, if we don’t get you “resouled”,” you’re not going to appreciate its full potential,” she snickered at her own joke, hiding a bit of a blush from the compliment. Sophia groaned and Jeremy smiled with his eyes, “and we can’t have fun with you, and make you scream out our names. Often, repeatedly, so everyone can hear and know who’s going at it.”

“I’m not much a lover, not much of a fighter, actually, just not much,” the attempt at humor hung for a moment then crashed to the ground bursting into flames. “Why a demon?”

“Who else would know more about souls?” Valatrix questioned brightly, she stomped out the fire with her scaled feet. “Now, come on.” The mouthed tentacles smiled at him and he was lifted up in the air, and carried with no more apparent strain as a grocery sack.

“I really can’t argue with that logic. Although I’m not sure this is helping my self-esteem any,” he complained, feeling like a child in light of her strength and size. He admired her firm ass beyond her wings, despite her tail blocked it partially. He wistfully wished that her dress was backless, as he could only image that hers was a rare sight to behold.

“You don’t have any,” she retorted.

“…Point”

Small talk kept the three entertained as they had come out of the woods, and traveled over gentle hills to a cemetery. Sophia had been a baroness in Europe, who had dabbled in the occult. A botched ritual had brought her here, and when she awoken she had already changed. She still dabbled in the occult and went hunting in the “real world,” every autumn. Valatrix was the sister of the jabborwocky from the poem, making her rather old and strong. She spent much of her time in Wonderland, but came here when rumors of a knight or hero came to her. He found out the tentacles had sort of a mind of their own, but didn’t talk, and did what she mentally commanded. He noted pink stripes on them, and found out that they were a history of great acts of debauchery, she didn’t have as many as one would think as she had trouble finding those who hadn’t been nabbed already.

As they continued, Jeremy found himself fighting from getting increasingly aroused, as the scent of the jabberwocky was driving him insane. He had only once encountered this once in his life, a woman at a restaurant that he had worked at when he was younger had a scent that had made him want to rut right there in front of whoever cared to watch. The man she was with might have taken offence to that. That thought amused him, along with the thought of trying to tackle Valatrix would probably look like a five-year-old trying to tackle a grown woman to rut with her. Watching her ass and tail sashay in front of him wasn’t helping either.

“Wouldn’t have thought that anyone died in Wonderland,” observed Jeremy, as he looked around at abandoned cabins, farms worked by zombies and the occasional group of graves, as he tried to find a way to avoid fondling Valatrix. A man bat, as big as he was flew over them.

“Oh, they can, it’s just not often,” replied Sophia as she noted zombies and a few ghosts hovering over at a gathering of some sort. This time Jeremy could see males in the group, and felt a little better, if a little less special. He felt relief as he was put down, the first time in hours.

“Stay here, we don’t need a stampede of undead going after you,” Valatrix said.

“All of them or just the women?” he tried to provoke.

“Depends on what they enjoy,” replied Sophia. He just nodded and strode a few paces to relieve himself while the other two walked toward something far more interesting he felt. Although he felt at home in the darkness and with this sort of horror atmosphere, it had begun to make him feel even more moody. He sat at the bottom of a hill, cloaking himself from anyone who might wander by, not looking too hard. He was trying to attempt to piece all that had happened to him, and more importantly if it was a figment, dream, or if he had slipped into a full psychotic episode. There was the off chance he was physically here, either way he felt he had to come to grips with all of the possibilities.

He was not sure how long he had been sitting there, but long enough to feel that he had been abandoned and should continue his exploration, when he heard a low whistle. Craining his head up, he noted a blue skinned woman, horns, red hair, in black leather armor and boots… he squinted more with the realization that he knew her.

“Verishka?” he asked more out of disbelief than curiosity.

“Who are you that knows my n… All Fother? Fuck, is that you?” came the same disbelief but with a Russian accent. He nodded, but let out a small awkward grin, if he hadn’t been in such a state he would have had a small thrill because of her accent. “What in the Nine has happened to you, besides getting older?”

“Wait, how do you know me? The All Father is just a joke because I always have to be the Game Master. We’ve never met. You’re just a character I created. Shit, I am in my own mind,” came the fatalistic realization.

“Shape shifter, remember? And no, you’re not in your own mind, although you may meet others here that you’ve helped dream into existance. You’ve always been attuned to other places, other wurlds. It’s how you’ve know about events, changes, people that then you read about them, or see them in one of your shows and you think someone is reading your mind. You’re what we call a Maker” She looked him over carefully, “You’re right, there’s little left. What happened to you? How are you still standing?”

“Actually I’m sitting, but is this the time and place … or least place, the moon hasn’t seemed to have moved. I can’t tell what time it is here.”

“Correct, time works differently here. Come, I have a little private spot here that I use for when I am here doing business. Think of it as an office that I rent from the local wight,” she strode off, but occasionally looked back at Jeremy. “I can’t believe you’re here. I’m not sure what it might mean…”

The four slipped through the darkness, the trip was short but interesting. The cemetery was not unlike ones found on the East Coast of the United States, and had the stereotypical look of a gothic repository for the dead. Jeremy found that he liked the place, although a little trite, and actually being in one brought forth a glimmer of excitement. It was more than the well-tended cemeteries he had been to, and he looked at the angles, demons, headstones and twisted trees with a feeling that there was something supernatural about them.

Their destination was a family plot bordered by four crypts, lesser graves in the center, and a sepulcher that Verishka was using as a desk. She had even conjured a large leather chair for her comfort, which allowed for her wings, and her tail. Jeremy nodded his head and complemented, “Nice. Speaks “I like the outdoors, but I can think both progressively and conservatively. Necromancy is not an issue, or dealing with the occasional group of teen who come in to drink beer and premarital sex.”” The three ladies laughed at him.

“Now to business, we had hoped you might know what to do with him,” started Sophia, still smiling from the sarcasm, “It would be a shame if he came all the way to Wonderland and Underland without enjoying it. He wants to explore and see what we have to offer, if he can enjoy it he might end up a frequent visitor,” she gave him an appraising eye.

“He may, but that doesn’t explain how he got this way. Since I’m half demon, and there isn’t much left to read, you’ll have to divulge it for yourself,” Verishka stated, reminding him of a teacher, one of the ones you find in porn. Why was his mind always in the gutter here?

Jeremy looked at everyone, not comfortable with breaking his privacy, especially with people that he had just met, even if had created one of them. The expectant eyes, all of them more than human seemed to lock him in place. He let out a sigh and started to tell his story, which he felt was nothing extraordinary but after years of defeats and wearing down led to mounting issues with his wife and his no longer being able to keep fighting, and trying to commit suicide several times. The impact of his wife’s attempts at suicide, losing someone he had probably fallen in love with, his fight to keep his job and in doing so finding out that he could be titled disabled, had eroded his self-confidence, self-esteem, trust in himself and others, and left him a wreck. He didn’t see his disability and depression as shameful exactly, he had lived half of his life span and had dealt with it, and he didn’t see that it changed things now. His real regret was if the medications were helping and he had long suspected, but the confirmation was a sore blow. Especially when he had long prided himself on his intellectual skills.

He hadn’t had sex for, he really couldn’t remember, and self-care had lost any enjoyment. As far as he could remember, it had been years since he had felt real joy, or true happiness, and only then it had been for a few months before his wife felt he had cheated on her, and pushed him to look down the barrel of a rifle. That short time frame had been the last shadow of his former self, the happy person he had once been, now he was someone different. Withdrawn and fearful, he had become more insular even in regards to his wife and family. Resentment, anger, pain and hopelessness had become his companions, even as he fought to function as he had always done. The otter, free and playful, was gone, what was left was less than a man, barely functioning. He had shut down, become untrusting of everyone. He hated the concept of hope, and feared when there seemed to be a chance at something positive only to be shut down again.

He tried to be positive, tried affirmations, therapy, and none of it seemed to work. He had a measure of enjoyment when he was working in the garden, mostly because he was alone and in a form of nature. He had lost his brother to cancer, who had also suffered from depression, and he fully understood how even at a family gathering with those that love and support you, how he could become darker and feel lonely. He forced himself to be as good a host he could be while the voices inside screamed for them to get out of his house so he could be alone. It made him feel ashamed.

The three ladies watched as he became smaller, his voice became weaker and more distant, sometimes he cried at simple things, and was stoic at events that they thought he would cry. He laid himself bare before them, telling even things he didn’t ever talk about, not that he thought it would help, just because he couldn’t see how they could cause further harm in their knowing. “I’m done, I have no more ideas, I don’t have hope or trust, so why keep going? My wife and I bounce with who is down, and I often can’t make it better anymore. I could make major sweeping changes, but I’ve made oaths and vows which I would be breaking, and I don’t think I have the strength of mind or spirit to attempt even if I didn’t.”

When he fell silent, they looked on with astonishment, but he only felt that there was great void within him, as empty as a vacuum and just as cold. Perhaps the worst of all was that he really didn’t feel anything, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to anymore.

Sophia placed her hands on him to comfort, and found that he was cold to the touch. He didn’t move or speak, in fact he wasn’t aware he was being touched.

“You can’t live like this, you can’t even survive, the shell can’t maintain itself indefinitely like this,” admonished Verishka. He slowly looked at her, a physical tic replaced a shrug. “That’s okay.”

“No it’s not!” Jeremy felt himself being lifted off the ground, his feet dangling in the air. Turned around he looked at Valatrix, “You just beat the shit out of yourself and the Professor, there was a spark there! You can’t lose it now.” She slapped him across his face as he turned into a rag doll for a moment, “Come on, get angry!” she slapped him again, her strength was amazing, and at this point he could hardly see straight.

“You know Val, he might be one who doesn’t hit women, little bit of chivalry?” Verishka suggested, although she found it amusing, she was a demon after all.

“For her, I’ll make an exception,” it wasn’t the first time he had been held in the air and tried to fight, but this time he had a lot more experience behind him. The aim was true, but the power was lacking without his feet on something firm. His blow to her jaw felt like he had struck a brick wall, but it must have had some effect. She looked at him in the eyes, more shocked than anything and then started to laugh. “Owwwww, fuck.”

“You have some hutzpah for a human,” she laughed, the others looked on amused.

“I also have a breaking point, now if we are going to continue this, I would prefer to be on the ground,” he snarled, rubbing his now blazing cheeks. “Bloody well intentioned pains in my ASS!” he growled as she put him down. He was getting himself set for a second punch, when she grabbed his head and kissed him full on the lips. He found he had no choice, her strength was like a vice, and her tongue… it tasted sort of sweet, with a taste the reminded him of old time candy. It explored where ever it wanted, she was too strong, not that he tried.

As she released him the kiss as he backed off. “No… I won’t get vivisected by my wife again. Not for this, not for just a fucking kiss, not for what might not be real,” he collapsed to his knees. “I don’t want to fall in love again, and I’m sure with you ladies, or any of the creatures here it would be all too easy. I’ve always been attracted to more than human, and now I’m surrounded by it. It’s like being in a candy store with diabetes. I’m sorry, so very sorry,” he cried.

“Perhaps he needs rest, he is human after all, and shocks to the system tend to take more out of them than us. Here, come and rest your head in my lap, nothing awkward or forward. You can sleep before we seek out the White Queen,” invited Verishka, her voice had become empathic, which seemed odd for the mercenary half demon. Reluctantly he laid down with his head on her thigh and closed his eyes. The other two women had laid down using his body as a pillow. Soon he could tell Valatrix was asleep, Sophia, being undead, was a mystery. Then he became aware of Verishka stroking his hair and he started to relax despite of himself.

She looked down at him, “You know, this is killing you, slowly, but it is killing you. I know you’ve felt it, odd pains here and there, not feeling like your body fits to your spirit. It will happen given time,” she said softly. He nodded, but he was tired of fighting, mentally, physically, no, he wasn’t just tired, he was exhausted. He closed his eyes and let out a ragged breath.

Jeremy was aware of walking through the graveyard, aware of zombie sex, and some fool who had stayed too long in once place being… pleasured? by undead. He watched for a moment, and could only think of a bad 80’s movie. He turned and followed a figure, black gown, shapely body, black cloak floating in the wind, and a hood. As he drew close, the figure turned and revealed the face to be a skull, a scythe carried on her shoulder.

He bowed low and said, “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“You truly have no fear of me?” came a soft questioning voice.

“No, you’re just a messenger of change, the keep of the door that goes from one end to another beginning” he bowed taking her bony hand and kissing the back of it. He hoped that this was his time, that he could go with her.

“Hmmm, I will speak with you later, but for now, there are obligations to attend to,” she said, looking at the back of her hand.

“Don’t let me keep you,” he gave a soft smile, but his flicker of hope snuffed out. The hand reached out and stroked his cheek, and then she was gone.