Thread:AngryLance/@comment-37028137-20200128044919/@comment-37028137-20200222022256

Okay I am going to post my answer to your first thought as it were, about character development seeing as it is three pages long and I will post the rest after a quick nap.

Alright here we are,

I will address each point in a similar manner to your own layout, namely I’ll use a numbered list. I will bold the number of my list when we move onto a new segment from your list seeing as I used numbers in here to define certain areas.

Question 1, Part A

In regards to your character’s backstory, not liking narration is a personal preference of mine, but I have seen it done well in the past. I would encourage you to develop your own personal writing style which suits the story you want to tell.

Most often stories are told using two types of language. These are narrative language; this is mostly conversational dialogue between characters, and descriptive language which describes the surroundings and characters themselves. The two are usually interspaced together within a paragraph to flesh out a story’s details. You can include a plethora of detail in your story without narration, you just have to decide what you want the reader to see (and equally as important, what you want the reader not to see.)

You mentioned you wanted examples so below I have provided a descriptive scene where readers and first introduced to the Nicholas character. Now I immediately drop the character into the action with no explanation, as to who he is or what he is doing. I use that to my advantage as a writer to build mystique around whom and what he is.

__ Chapter 1: It’s too early.

I was asleep, content in my own thoughts then Ring, ring “Shit” I moved to check the caller ID. “Hey Cas, what’s up?” “Dean says we have a lead on the Coven of witches that have been killing hunters.”  “Wonderful,” I mutter sarcastically as I extradited myself from the soft gulag that was my bed. “I’ll be there in 10 minutes bye Cas” I moved in a blur to locate my things and prepare myself for what lie ahead. I sauntered to the mirror looking at myself. I was rather unassuming in my complexion. Messy black hair, bright blue eyes, a sturdy 6’4 frame, and well-muscled described me in a gist. The only thing about me which would certainly draw unwanted attention were the many scars, burns, and healed wounds from my many years of operating as a hero and hunter. Lucky for me while they were bad they only covered my chest, back arms, legs, and hands in any abundance, my face was unscathed. Wearing long sleeve shirts, and dress pants hid them quite well. “Ugh it’s 7:30 am this is too early I need coffee”  “Ok, clothes are together, where the bloody hell did I leave my coat?” I wracked my brain trying to recall where I had discarded my trench coat. After all the clothes do help make the man, “Well I know it’s not in the cave; I’ll try the library.”

In a burst of magic and golden-yellow lightning indicative of my skill as a mage I take off at incredible speed, winding my way through the metallic corridors of my TARDIS, my home. Even after piloting the TARDIS for nearly twenty thousand years I still marvel at her infinite design. Five minutes later I found myself in the library. While I am fast the TARDIS is a labyrinthine maze of corridors and rooms and even I must take great care when venturing deep into the heart of the TARDIS as one may well know. Looking around the room at the towering shelves of books and the gothic architecture I felt a sense of peace. Here was the quiet space I would often retire to in order to research spells, arcane texts, or simply read a book. (Imagine that, reading a book in a library what a strange concept.) After scanning the immediate surroundings of the library I locate my coat which is light grey and very well trimmed lying over the back of a handcrafted oak desk which is covered in papers and scrolls pertaining to several alien species, I walk over and glance at several scrolls relating to witches, quickly memorizing the information I retrieve my coat and take off in a blur of golden-yellow lightning heading for the main console room. __

Within the first scenes readers get a sense that he is broken and marred as I mentioned his scars __” I moved in a blur to locate my things and prepare myself for what lie ahead. I sauntered to the mirror looking at myself. I was rather unassuming in my complexion. Messy black hair, bright blue eyes, a sturdy 6’4 frame, and well-muscled described me in a gist. The only thing about me which would certainly draw unwanted attention were the many scars, burns, and healed wounds from my many years of operating as a hero and hunter. Lucky for me while they were bad they only covered my chest, back arms, legs, and hands in any abundance, my face was unscathed. Wearing long sleeve shirts, and dress pants hid them quite well._ _

In his first full scene I intentionally placed him in front of a mirror so that he can observe himself within the context of the story and thereby allow the reader to form a picture of him naturally. (We all see ourselves in the mirror every day so this is an open point to place character descriptors.) The reader is seeing Nicholas as he observes himself through the mirror at the same time, and can therefore relate to what they are being shown. I also cram an enormous amount of detail into the mirror scene so that the reader has a solid picture. They can see he is tall, well built, his hair is disordered and dark, and his eyes are deep blue, fairly commonplace yet necessary details. But it then goes on to show traits that are out of the ordinary, for instance his scars, or how he dresses rather luxuriously regardless of the occasion. (Seeing as he is about to go into battle, which I mentioned slyly with the quick phone call at the beginning, which is also a great way to get the action rolling.) Let’s move onto the next scene.

-- In a burst of magic and golden-yellow lightning indicative of my skill as a mage I take off at incredible speed, winding my way through the metallic corridors of my TARDIS, my home. Even after piloting the TARDIS for nearly twenty thousand years I still marvel at her infinite design.—

Here we lay out in the span of two sentences three very important facts. 1 Nicholas has magic. (Fun Fact: He actually calls himself a Sorcerer and gets very uptight when someone calls him a Wizard or a Mage in the story. In building my world I based ‘magic’ off of the Druidic Belief System in natural magic, as my great grandmother is actually a practicing Druid. The way she explained it was a mage is a low level user, a witch is more moderate in their uses preferring remedies, and incantations, while Wizards and Warlocks were higher level practitioners, though Wizards abide in nature through meticulous study while Warlocks are connected to the Unseelie and darker rituals, Sorcerers are the highest ordered practitioners often being  gifted abilities from the Wee Folks or being taught by them, so they can tap into a greater power or simply being born with it. And a sorcerer can be good, evil, or indifferent. I know I butchered her explanations but that mostly what she told me. She would most likely whack me on the back of the head for that lousy explanation, but there it is. Sorry Maimeó. Ah and Mages aren’t really a thing so I had Nicholas derogatorily compare them to street performers because he doesn’t value them. Okay tangent over)

What was I talking about? Ah yes the three important points within those two sentences, the first being magic! ‘In a burst of magic and golden-yellow lightning indicative of my skill as a mage I take off at incredible speed, winding my way through the metallic corridors’ You must not be afraid as an author to leave things open ended. Why does he have magic and how does it work and why, is not important to the narrative currently. All that is, is that he has it. You can leave these questions unanswered and circle back to them later, or not at all. Not everything needs an explanation. It keeps the reader guessing and engaged within the narrative.

2 ‘winding my way through the metallic corridors of my TARDIS, my home’ Here we establish that the character has a TARDIS and is at least a time traveler, maybe even a Time Lord. So now we know a little bit more about what exactly this character is, along with a glimpse at what he can do.

3 ‘Even after piloting the TARDIS for nearly twenty thousand years I still marvel at her infinite design.’ Here I set up a very important plot point, but you have to pay attention or you will miss it. Within this sentence I point out his ‘separateness’ by casually mentioning an age of twenty thousand years distinguishing him from Humanity and noting that he is someone who has seen and done a lot.

So using just two sentences we have established that Nicholas is: A proficient magic user and his limits are unknown to the reader adding a level of intrigue, he is a time traveler, and the he is really old when compared to say, a Human.

I’ll split number 1 into two parts and talk about character language in the next post. Seeing as these are quite long (much more so than I intended I may put them up in parts.

I'm going to hit the bed.

Cheers,

The Weary TimeLord.