User blog:The Vaudevillain Veteran/Mamono match maker - One Shot

'A/N This one will contain all 220 mamono in the Encyclopedia. The premise is based around the type of match making called "speed dating" where one person (whom we will refer to as the Dateé) sits on a stool with a cellphone and is surrounded by a group of potential romantic partners who also have cellphones. The person on the stool will ask everyone questions to see how much they have in common. Those who have too little/nothing in commom with the dateé will leave the circle, this process repeats itself until one person is left.'

"Come on Trent its time to go, the crowd is waiting!" A stagehand called out. With a reluctant sigh Trent stood up from his chair and made his wat towards the curtain that lead to the stage.

'All right, here goes nothing.' Trent said to himself and with newfound courage pulled open the curtains.

It took Trent a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to the bright lights of the stage and the loud cheering of the crowd.

"Mamono and incubi! Give it up for our bachelor Trent Arnold!" A feminine voice boomed.

Trent waved his hand nervously as he made his way towards one of two chairs in the centre of the stage.

"Now Trent since you're here with us why don't you tell us a bit about yourself?" The host asked politely.

"Well uh... I've never had a girlfriend before so I uh.... kinda get nervous around... attractive women." Trent explained reluctantly.

A loud "AWWWW" immediately came from the crowd.

"Don't be nervous Trent. I promise by tonight you will be happily married." The host reassured him with a pat on the shoulder.

The host smiled and then raised her hands in the air.

"For the first time ever Mamono Match Maker will have ALL 220 species of mamono as documented in the Monster Girl Encyclopedia. That means Trent will have 220 potential wives to choose from! So without any further due let's bring in the candidates shall we?" The host announced cheerfully as a large group of all kinds of mamono now filled the stage.

The giant ant stagehands took away the spare chair and placed rugs and bean bags all over the stage so the mamono could sit on them.

"Good luck sister." one of the Giant Ants whispered to her fellow Giant Ant.

Remaining mamono: 220

"Hello everyone, my name is Trent." Trent muttured out.

"Hi Trent" everyone replied simultaneously.

"First question what are some of your favourite hobbies?" Trent asked.

"Drinking wine" the Vampire replied.

"Writing cringy Twilight fanfiction." The Dhampir snickered.

"Fighting strong opponents" the Himezumi answered.

217 answers later Trent was already feeling exhausted. 'This is gonna take a while' he thought to himself.

A brilliant idea came to mind, he just express which mamono are not his type so he could finish this faster.

"Ok so are there if any of you here that are lolis please raise your hand." Trent announced.

A baphomet, witch, familiar, redcap, alice, arch imp, devil, chochin-obake, fairy, hobgoblin, goblin, gremlin, greenworm, humpty egg, imp, kesaran pasaran, leanan sidhe, living doll, pixie, siren, sylph and dwarf all raised their hands.

"I'm sorry to say guys but... you're just not my type. I like kids, but not in that way."

All of the loli mamono sighed in sorrow as they exited the circle and headed backstage.

Remaining mamono: 198

"Trent will be mine!" The will 'o the wisp declared.

"Next question. May you all tell me about traits unique to your species and how your kind usually gets husbands." Trent asked again.

"Us Amazons conduct man raids to get our husbands." The amazon answered flatly.

"Us Dark Elves do the same thing, except we make our husbands slaves and 'punish' them if they don't do their chores." The Dark Elf said mischievously.

"Scyllas usually get their husbands from sinking ships." The scylla answered meekly.

After another session of listening to some frightening ways mamono got their husbands and Trent was finally ready to announce which type of mamono were just not for him.

"Ok all mamono here whose species is usually aggressive please raise your hand.

The amazon, dark elf, ogre, red oni, altach nacha, hellhound, manticore, minotaur, oclemomeh arachne, orc, high orc, bunyip, hornet and werewolf all raised their hands.

"I'm sorry to say guys but I not a fan of BDSM or having rough sex." Trent announced.

"No one ever wants us..." the Dark Elf muttered as she and the other mamono who raised their hands stood up and headed backstage.

Remaining mamono: 183

Alright, can you tell where you usually live. Trent asked again.

"We live in the world's oceans." The aquatic mamono answered cheerfully.

"My species the tentacle usually live in the tentacle forest, but we can live in human settlements as well." The tentacle girl answered meekly.

"Us ropers can also live in human settlement." The roper added.

The remaining mamono all explained their natural habitat to Trent. Once they were done explaining their usual habitats Trent took a moment to come to his conclusion of which mamono were just not for him.

"Hmmm. While some of you live in a places that'd be considered inhabitable for humans, it isn't a deal braker for me." Trent said.

"However" Trent added, making all the mamono tense up.

"Some of you are just not for me. They are the Tentacle, Roper, Devil Bug, Beelzebub, Dryad, Alraune, Liliraune, Barometz, Mandragora Ignis, Undine and Gnome. I'm sorry but tentacles, cockroaches and flies are just too repulsive for me. Sorry plant ladies but while you aren't bad, I don't want to live in a plant indefinitely or be fused with a tree. As for the three elementals you are simply not my type."

Yet another round of sad sighs filled the stage as the mentioned mamono too left the stage.

"Curse that scholar for giving us such a bad reputation." The Roper commented as she left the stage.

Remaining mamono: 171

"171 potential candidates remain, who will be the lucky mamono to leave with a husband tonight?" The host asked the camera as the show cut to an advert break.

(Later)

"So uh.. the mamono here who come from an aristocratic background have always fascinated me and after analyzing all of you I`ve decided that Yuvella, Valese and Kayda, I have no interest in marrying any of you three." Trent announced.

"What?" Kayda the Dragon muttered in disbelief. Ultimately though she left where she was and went backstage, not without cursing under her breath.

The Lilim Yuvella was the next to speak.

"Why don't you want me Trent? I'm the daughter of the Demon Lord." Yuvella asked.

"That's exactly why. I'd rather eat nails than marry some spoiled brat." He retorted.

Trent then turned his attention to the Vampire.

"Same thing with you. Unless you change your attitude you're gonna be single for a long time." Trent remarked coldly.

The crowd gasped at Trent talking to the Vampire and daughter of the Demon Lord in such a rude manner.

Yuvella left the stage in disbelief while Valese the Vampire left in irritation.

Remaining mamono: 168

Once he was done scolding the vampire Trent recollected his thoughts and sat back down.

"May the Cockatrice, Jinn of the Jar, Mimic, Giant Slug, Wyvern, Girtablilu, Jorou-gumo, Grizzly, Akaname, Zombie, Cait Sith, Cu Sith, Wonderworm, Kappa, and every Mist Continent mamono except the Youko please stand up." Trent ordered.

The 20 mamono did as they were told rose up from the floor

"Sorry guys but again I just don't think we'd click." Trent said as the mamono made their way backstage.

"Is my tongue really that bad?" The Akaname said to herself as she left.

Remaining mamono: 148

'Man we're not even at the half way point and this already making me bored.' Trent thought to himself.

Trent scanned the mamono around him; some looking at him in glee while the more timid mamono looked anxious.

After what felt like an eternity, Trent finally spoke again.

"I'm not a fan of the more nymphomaniac mamono. I just... how do I put it?.... I just don't want to have sex 24/7. Don't get me wrong I like sex just like any other guy but I want a mamono wife who I can enjoy other hobbies with instead of just sex all of the time. I hope you guys will understand." Trent stated.

The mamono soon started whispering to each other and soon the Dark Angel, Dark Valkyrie, Dark Priest, Bicorn, March Hare, Jubjub, Tsurara-onna and Cursed Sword all stood up and left the circle.

Remaining mamono: 140

"I should also mention that while I'm not a fan of the super super sex crazed mamomo,.I do not want a wife who is cold and distant. While you guys aren't bad mamono per se, I do not want a relationship where we are so close yet so far away at the same time that we feel almost like strangers." Trent announced.

Several mamono, namely the Ice Queen, Cupid, Glacies, Mantis and Night Gaunt stood up and left the stage

Remaining mamono: 135

"Will the Angel, Valkyrie, Apsara and Houri please stand up." Trent asked.

A soft shuffling was heard as the mentioned servants of the Gods rose to their feet

"I must admit, while you are attractive I do not want to marry a servant of the Gods, it just doesn't feel right to me." Trent explained as the subordinates of the Chief God and Eros nodded in understanding and left.

Remaining mamono: 131

As the Apsara, Angel, Houri and Valkyrie departed, Trent spoke again.

"And while some men are into harems, I am not. I'd rather being in a monogomous relationship."

And with that a Khepri, Giant Ant, Honey Bee and Large mouse, Queen Slime and Kamaitachi exited the stage.

"That's a first, a man who doesn't want multiple wives who can take care of his every need." The Khepri commented.

"Yes that is very peculiar indeed." The Large Mouse replied as they made their way backstage.

Remaining mamono: 125

Trent stared at the remaining 125 mamono. For now he couldn`t think of any specifics he`d want in mamono.

"Alright, sorry if I might`ve forgotten your names guys, can I continue calling you by the name of your species?" Trent asked sheepishly..

"It`s fine." They all replied.

"Ok thanks guys, after some more thought I`ve decided that the Blue Oni, Charibdys, Dark Matter, Dormouse, Elf, Gazer, Dullahan, Salamander, Lizardman,Satyros, Oomukade, Anubis, Karakasa-Obake, Mucus Toad and the Alp aren't my type. Sorry you guys I believe that we unfortunately don't have much in common and no offence Oomukade woman but... you creep me out." Trent stated as the 15 mamono made their way backstage.

"Well folks we have already reached the halfway point with 110 potential mamono who still have a chance of acquiring a husband tonight. Stay tuned though, as we'll be right back!" The host announced.

A/N Damn this was longer than I initially expected so I shall be making a part 2 that will serve as a conclusion.