Board Thread:What Would You Do?/@comment-34163681-20180101004019/@comment-30700719-20180103023802

I slap my hand to my thigh and hold up a pistol. "I'm warning you! I've got a rooty-tooty-point-n-shooty!" I raise the gun and pull the trigger multiple times. They duck and scatter, and I turn back to Jake. "Keep doing that. They'll realise soon." I fake a reload and keep "shooting". A loud thump ensues as some kind of massive projectile hits the building. Jake loses the small casing, and he scrambles away to grab it. The dust clears, revealing quite a large hole in the wall and a Gremlin waving from behind the barrel of a huge cannon. "Mine is bigger!" I toss away the gu-I mean, the rooty-tooty point-n-shooty and disappear down the hallway. A Minotaur steps up the stairs, and I duck into a room. She charges at the spot where I was, and I emerge from right next to the staircase. I silently wave goodbye and slip down the staircase. I take the stairs two at a time, jumping past the last few. A man just in front of me suddenly grows a writhing orange blob on his face and neck, and he stumbles backwards into a wall. Upon closer inspection, it turns out to be a loli Salamander. Damn Sabbath. I turn around and come face-to-face with a Harpy, and quickly spout, "Up the stairs, three doors to the right." She zips off without even thinking, the birdbrain. Suddenly, the sound of an assault rifle goes off upstairs. "BOOM, BITCH! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH ROOTY-TOOTY POINT-N-SHOOTY I HAVE!" I throw my arms over my head as I desperately duck throughout the chaos all around. I think that actually might be two assault rifles instead of one. Suddenly, I smash into somebody and fall over on my ass. The figure turns around and confirms that the universe is a bit of a dick sometimes. "Oh hey, I've got you...you have no idea how pent-up I feel..." I scramble backwards and look around. Well, this was gonna happen sometime. I closed my eyesight and accepted my fate.