User blog:Serraxas/What Do?- Blue Oni Edition.

The question- You're out with your friends at the pub after a hard day's work. You've already had a few pints and are ready to head home when a blue oni staggers through the door, clutching a keg of sake. She challenges you and your friends to a drinking game

What do you do?-Anon

My answer-

I cheerfully accept, after looking at her and figuring that she's at least twice as drunk as I am, giving me a nice handicap in my favor. "Sure, I'm game. What're we drinking?" Her response is to grin evilly and push her jug of sake into my hands. "You take five chugs, pass it back, I take five chugs. We keep going like that until one of us passes out." Fair enough, I think to myself, toasting her with the bottle before chugging it down. "Heh. This stuff's really all you've got, lightw-"

And then I reel as if hit by a carriage, stumbling to the floor. Jesus, what was in that stuff? Girtablilu venom? Seeing my drunken collapse, the oni laughs heartily, takes her jug back, downs the rest of it, props me up against her shoulder and holds me upright as we begin the drunken stagger back to, as it turns out, her place. On the way, she whispers in my ear "Sorry, but I probably should have mentioned two things earlier... first, we oni have alcohol tolerance levels that make those of humans look pathetic in comparison, so it wasn't exactly fair. And second...".

At this, we reach her place, and I'm immediately dragged to her bed and pinned, her face twisting into a lascivious grin as she begins to undress me... "Whoever wins gets to be on top."