Talk:Ogre/@comment-25204624-20150426174713/@comment-26219553-20150427221928

Curiosity overwhelms me and I step out of hiding to talk to this unusual ogre.

Me: "Hey, there, name's Serraxas. Nice painting, by the way. What style are you doing it in?"

Ogre: "Hey, nice to have visitors for once- call me Fiona. Kind of a mish-mash of different styles, to be honest. Most people say it's a bit bold for their tastes, but bugger 'em, I like doing them this way. By the way, ask next time before ganking my pretzels, or I'll break your arm."

Me: "Sorry about that. Anyways, I kinda like the art style, to be honest. Also, sorry to be blunt, but you seem kinda... non-rapey for what I'd expect from an ogre. Didn't know your kind hoarded treasure, either."

Fiona: "Eh, don't worry about blunt- I'm already married, hubby's at work right now. Plus the hoard isn't actually mine, it belongs to my friend Diaz. She lets me use this place as a studio and painting stash. Nice girl, we go way back. Speak of the Demon Lord... hey, Dee!"


 * I turn around to see a rather intimidating dragon standing in the doorway*

Diaz: "Hi, Fiona. Oh, you made a friend, I see! Did he say he's taken?"

Fiona: "Nope. Hang on, lemme move my gear out of the way if you're gonna jump him."


 * Diaz gives me what is quite possibly the lewdest look I have ever seen and starts approaching*

And that, kids, is how I got married to a dragon.