"I've got one question," I say while holding up a finger. "Does this other world have Wi-Fi?"
Druella pauses for a moment, confused. "...Wi-Fi?"
"Yes, Wi-Fi, wireless internet; it's what lets me access and surf the internet on various electronic devices, such as laptops and phones," I explain. "It also lets electronic devices communicate with each other."
"We don't have this 'Wi-Fi'," she answers, "but what you..."
"No Wi-Fi, no deal!" I interrupt her mid-sentence.
My sudden response momentarily stunned Druella, but she regains her composure. "You didn't let me finish," she responds. "You'll find something so much better than Wi-Fi: a life of endless happiness. You'll be married to a beautiful woman, who will not only be completely devoted to you and be the perfect wife for you, but will give you all the love and pleasure you could ever want. It's a dream come true."
I shake my head. "While the idea of a loyal and loving wife who will give me all the sex I want does sound awesome, I choose Wi-Fi over waifu. It's a huge part of my life, so I'm not gonna simply give it up and follow you into that portal. Sorry, miss, but you're not changin' my mind on this one."
"You're a stubborn one, aren't you? I'm offering you what many, many men – both in my world and in yours – would die for. You might not get an opportunity like this again."
I chuckle. "I'm well aware of what I'm turning down. I said it before and I'll say it as many times as I have to: no Wi-Fi, no deal."
Druella sighs, seeing that she won't be changing my mind. "That's a shame. I suppose I'll have to look for someone else." She turns to leave.
"Yeah, good luck with that," I say while resuming whatever I was doing on my laptop. I hear Druella walk back into the portal, and then the portal close after she left.