I book it straight downstairs and lock myself in the basement. A cabinet door is ripped and I take from it a blue crystal. "Damn it guys, why would you be crazy enough to bring me this!?" I think as I rub it at a rapid pace and the crystal begins to glow. Soon enough, the face of my friend Ian appears.
"What's up?" he asked with a voice that sounded like I had disturbed him as he was working on an important experiment. "Ian, I need your help!" I say in desperation. "Whoa whoa dude, what's got your panties in a bunch?" he asks me. "My parents sent me this egg that turned out to be a Humpty Egg from Wonderland!" is my urgent reply.
"Wait, they sent you a Humpty Egg!?" Ian asked, shocked, "Well, did the slime escape yet?"
I glance up and to my horror see an orange goo ooze through the door at the top of the stairs. "It's trying to get to me in the basement, hurry!" I turn back to Ian screaming. "On my way!" Ian says as his face vanishes from the crystal and its glow stops abruptly.
The goo has by now completely bypassed the door and was now inching its way down the stairs. In a panic, I grab the nearest object I can use to defend myself with, a chair.
The goo makes its way to the bottom of the stairs and forms a large viscous puddle. From that puddle, a shape starts to mold and rise. A little girl's face appears along with a small body, a pair of wings, and a gooey halo, an Angel.
I climb onto a table and thrust my chair at her shouting, "Stay away, I am NOT interested in you!"
There is a sudden knock at the door that distracts both me and the Angel Slime. There are several more knocks that sound almost like kicks when the door flies open, revealing Ian armed with a wand of sorts. He aims it at the Angel Slime and shouts, "Exchangus Worldumus!"
A bright white sphere is emitted from the wand that shoots right into the Angel Slime. The projectile explodes into sparkles that later form into some kind of rift that the frightened Angel Slime is sucked through. Once the offending mamono was gone, the rift closes and dissipates. All was normal once again.
I drop the chair and collect my breath from today's events. "I'll be man, you came in the nick of time," I gasp. "Those Humpty Eggs always disgust me, did your parents go mad from Wonderland tea when they sent you that gift?" Ian asks me. I shrug and answer, "Considering how they went to Wonderland of ALL places and how crazy things can get there, it doesn't seem entirely out of the question."
I spot the wand that Ian is carrying and ask, "What is that wand anyway?"
Ian proudly displays the wand in his hands and says, "Oh this, this is a Wand of Exchange, a blast from this baby will take a monster from our world and switch it with a monster from the world that said monster was originally from."
My relieved expression fades when I hear Ian's detailed explanation. Ian sees my concerned face and his own beaming face dims when the realization hits him. "I...should have brought the banishment wand," he mutters. "But, if that wand is meant to trade one mamono for another, then who was the Humpty Egg's replacement?" I ask.
We both hear the rapid sound of feet patting and look up, seeing a March Hare standing at the top of the stairs. Her face reads one of excitement and she beams, "Oooohhh...are we having a threesome?"
Ian and I exchange exhausted looks. This was going to be a long night.