"Well for starters, your 'police' badge emblem is shaped like a penis. Secondly, you're dripping on the door mat. And while we're picking apart your cover story miss rapist, why are the sending a beat cop to do a detective's job? Yeah nah, nice try. Good bye. *close door*
I nonchalantly shut the door, and run through the back door, diving into my car and speeding off. I need a coffee before dealing with all this.
Later in the paper, i read there had been a huge orgy at my house. So yeah.
Rape escape.
"Well, Officer, it's obvious that there's only one thing to do in this situation. Set up a trap for any would-be rapist, then slap cuffs on 'em and haul them off to gaol."
The Jinko raises an eyebrow before replying, "The easiest way would be to order everybody out, make sure that the rapist doesn't have a crowd to hide in."
I sigh, and turn to the house. Stomping the specially renovated floor three times, I cupped my hands and yelled, "THE COPS ARE COMING, EVERYONE RUN! THAT INCLUDES YOU, JAKE, WAKEY WAKEY HANDS OFF SNAKEY!"
I then stepped into the kitchen and told the police officer, "You might want to step out of the doorway."
A stampede flowed through my house, down the stairs to the front door. Some decided to be smart and head for the back, helping each other climb the corrugated iron fence.
"Well, I reckon that's that. I mean, the party's gone, but hey, at least we know the rapist isn't in my house any more! They've got to be anywhere else, now that we've cleared out my house!" I walked across the room and started to climb the stairs. "Thank you for your help, Officer. That was real considerate of you. At least I won't have a hangover for Sunday morning. Which is tomorrow." I slowly climbed the stairs to my bed, where I could feel the beer starting to shut down my systems. I rolled over and closed my eyes.