Am I seriously doing this?
Inwardly, I couldn’t help but laugh at the prospect of ordering a girlfriend, particularly the holstaur I had described on the sheet for them.
After all, you don’t just buy people. That went out the window quite a long time ago. This whole thing would probably end up with me having bought a body pillow or something of the sort with an accompanying story written about her or something like that.
Either way, it was still funny enough for me to place the order, especially as it wasn’t all that expensive: another hint that I wasn’t ACTUALLY buying someone.
How dumb did you have to be to think that?
However, the next day, when there was a knock at the door, I came out to see a large box in front of my door. A little surprised, I started to wonder if, perhaps, there were some manner of life-sized doll inside, before it burst open to reveal… her.
A girl with short cow horns, a somewhat pale complexion and the loveliest face I’d ever seen came bursting out of the box, yelling for the whole neighbourhood to hear that she was mine. The ribbon she was wearing looked as if the slightest tug would snap it and reveal the entirety of the heavy chest that it was currently restraining.
“Wait, what?” I asked in disbelief, looking at her in utter confusion.
Again, you can’t actually BUY people. What is going on here?
“Please, come in.” I offered, gesturing for her to get in the house, taking the box in with me once she stepped through the door.
“What is the surprise?” She then asked me “You ordered me, and here I am.” Wearing a pleasant smile, she seemed to find my confusion funny.
“Simple. You can’t buy people. That doesn’t make any sense. So what is the deal with this whole thing?” I asked, giving presence to my confusion.
Giggling a bit, she tilted her head a little “Buy? What? No, you ordered me here, dummy!” she chided, giving me a light bap on the head with her hand. “There’s a difference.” She looked as if deep in thought a moment, or perhaps, struggling to remember something before resuming “See, it’s more like a matchmaking service than actually buying someone. I had one of those forms I had to fill out too before coming here.”
“Wait…” I started, beginning to piece it together. “…so your form led to… me?”
“Yep!” She responded cheerfully. “There are lots of holstaurs, Victor, but they sent me because my request led to you!”
“Wait… how do you already know my name?” I couldn’t help but ask, trying and failing to keep my eyes on hers, occasionally wandering along the ribbons she was still wearing “No one told me yours.”
“When they told me where I was going, of course!” she responded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Oh, right, my name is Caroline: you can just call me Carol, though!”
“Okay then, Carol.” I responded, now stepping over to my room, I looked around a moment “I know it’s here somewhere…” I muttered to myself as I dug through my closet.
Once I found what I was looking for, I turned around, my face immediately planted firmly into the middle of the holstaur’s chest, who had been standing right behind me.
“My, my, dear. If you wanted to get started, all you had to do was ask~” Carol informed me with a gentle smile before the ribbon finally snapped from my face pushing it further, freeing their fleshy prisoners from their grip as she pulled me into my bed.
Looking at the large, loose-fitting clothes I had found in my closet, she giggled “I’ll try them on after. But right now, it’s getting hard to think, so let’s go!” Before beginning to help me removing my own clothes.
I have never been happier to be wrong.