Okay, in the 35 years that I've been forging blades, I've seen demons and humans wait in the same area, entire armies march past my shop and have had someone request a chainsaw made of sharks. Really, that dude was stupid.
Anyways, this has hot to be the second stupidest request ever. Someone walked into the shop, their hood making it impossible to see which side they were on. "So, I heard you do commisions. Is this true?" spoke a feminine voice. "Well yes, but you pay triple for magical gear and double for decorated gear." I replied.
"Okay, can you make a sword that can talk?"
"Yes, I think. It will cost you about 15,000 Vel to make, however."
"Fair enough. I will be back in three weeks."
And then she left. So I started to work, buying a soul from a lich, forging a blade of solid mythril with a socket in the hilt to hold a soul gem. Sadly, the soul was very talkative. Three weeks later, she returned and paid full price then and there. I hand her the sword, who insists on being called "Luke the Sword of Death-Defying Death". She thanks me, and Luke says "Hey babe, long time no see." and I realize that Luke was dating her when he died. I closed my shop after she left because that was more than enough shit for one day. Funny thing is the sword's only magical power was being able to talk.