You are a barbarian warrior, strangely with Order affiliation, who one day receives a telephone call from... someone. (Yes, barbarians with telephones, cause why not ?)
What would you do ?
I hang up the phone and go back to sharpening my axe.
I look down at my penis, "Quiet you!"
I leave the phone hanging as i walk off muttering "Stupid prank callers."
I then go off to go do something manly like wrestle a (regular) bear
I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't do delivery. If you want to be slain for the night you'll have to come to us, the price is 1000$ upfront, we had 'free slaynees' as we call runners here, so now you pay first.
"Barhg does not want to slay you! Barhg is making second book!"
"Wait. . . you're an author?"
"Yes, Barhg made famous cook book! Cooking With Less: an illustrated Collection of Minimalist Recipes!"
"Come up with that title yourself, huh?"
"No, Barhg's wife made title, but Barhg remembered it!"
"Y-your wife?"
"Yes, Barhg loves Helga, no-one else for Barhg!"
*Click*
"Wait. You want my brother Jack. He's the unmarried one who goes around singing Rhapsody of Fire songs. Holy Thunderforce of the Black King of Whateverance malarkey." I reply dryly.
"Oh. So SO SO sorry. I thought he lived alone...."
"I'm crashing at his place for a few days while my house gets repaired. Wife went into labor and had twins, y'know."
"Oh, my congratulations! I mean, for the kids, not the house. She must be, ah, pretty strong..."
"Wurm. A ton of adorable, quite literally."
"Ah. I think I follow. So, can I talk to Jack? Not meaning to be rude, but..."
"No, no, absolutely no offense taken. Say, why don't you come over? Might be good for us both. I get to watch the kids and you get your slaying."
"Great! Be over in a whiff!"
In an instant,I prepare to do my best impersonation of an automated voice message and reply with:
"To talk to the user of this phone number,please press 1."
I wait in anticipation.
Several suspensful moments later...
I hear a beep.
Holy shit,she actually did it.
I burst into laughter.
(inspired from this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVK9DZ-hBuE )