Unlike the more confident folks, I am far from being calm while strapped to a buoy in the middle of the ocean. I manage to get a quick prayer out to the fact that I was left alive, but floating there with no land in sight, and nothing above or below me is absolutely panic inducing. A flurry of expletives flows out of my mouth as I sit there. But soon my panic subsides in favor of far more permanent feelings. Hunger, thirst, and perhaps worst of all, boredom. As the sun sinks below the horizon, I'm left in almost total darkness. But the stars made for a pretty sight.
The next morning, I wake up, to the sound of voices. I open my eyes to the sight of a beautiful woman looking right in my eyes. "Sir, are you ok?"
"I'm doing great now that you're here", I reply, with the smoothest line I've ever delivered in my life. She giggles.
"Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm already married". I take another look to see the man floating next to her. Nothing to say but a polite smile and nod to him. "And how long have you been here?"
"Uh, since yesterday I think? Look, do you at least know any other mamono who...live...in the...area? I need literally anyone, to take me anywhere but here".
"Oh, I might have seen a few mamono in passing. Do you have any preference? Perhaps I could inform one of them sooner".
"Whoever's the closest".
"Well then, I think that's the least I can do, besides performing the ritual to allow you to breathe underwater. Well darling, we'll have to take a slight detour, but we'll be at my parents' place by the end of the day".
"I think they'll understand why it took us longer than usual. But hey, if you don't mind my asking, bud, what brought you here?"
"Thought it would make a good day for a swim". The couples' silent stares linger on me, nothing but the faint sounds of moving water. Clearly my sense of humor has dulled. "Aright, well, I can give you an abbreviated story. Uh, in a moment of reckless nearsightedness, I crossed the wrong man in an act of um. Deadly treachery! He left me here for dead in retaliation. Yes. Luckily, er, how lucky I am to have met such kind people in such a remote location!" They are still unable to respond to my quick wit and flare for storytelling.
"I wonder if his behavioral quirks will have any effect on his marriage prospects?" The sea bishop says to her husband, before they submerge. Now I'm back to panicking. The hell did that mean?" Left to my own devices, I decide to count. I think I got to around 42,000 something, but I kept losing track and going back to the nearest interval of 100. As the sun is high in the sky, at whatever time of the day it could be, something
GRABS. MY. LEG.
And I unleash a most primal and terrified scream.
"Hey hey hey! Calm down I'm not trying to hurt you!" The speaker appears in my line of view as I'm forced to catch my breath. Before me is another lovely woman, with orange curly hair cascading over her shoulders, and a lovely feminine figure (covered by a mockery of a human swimsuit), that ends at her waist. Below is a large tangle of sucker covered tentacles, which have promptly wrapped around my body, binding my limbs tightly, sticking her body right up against mine. "I was told by a passing sea bishop that there was a man out here in the ocean, waiting for whoever could free him, and...well, I guess I was closest. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders, she tilts her head so it's resting on my shoulder, and she avoids my line of sight. "If you'll have me...I'm not sure if I'm the kind of woman you want...". I resolve to help her with whatever issues she seems to be carrying with her. I wish I could comfort her, but my hands are still bound.
"Woah there, let's get two things straight here. I may be delirious with lack of food and water, isolation, maybe even exposure from the sun. But one thing I'm sure of is that you're an angel, both in terms of the role in my life at this exact moment, and just how darn pretty you are. And those tentacles? They're like...totally part of what makes you so darn pretty".
"Really?" She moves to look at me, and now her eyes have a hopeful glint.
"For sure. You're a savior, and I couldn't be more happy that you, specifically, were the one to locate me. Now do you think you could cut me loose?"
"Of course!" She frees my hands, the better for me to return her hug. Down below the water we go, it's a cool and refreshing respite from the sun. she swims in some direction that eventually stops at an underwater coral community, where we're able to take a breather from the travel, and I can finally rest from my ordeal.
Two nights later, now that I've recovered significantly, we're going to resume our trip to my wife's home, where we can make a more permanent residence. But first there's a pressing matter that we must resolve. "So, now that you're feeling much better, did you really mean what you said?"
"Of course! You were an angel, and you're the prettiest woman I know. If possible, I wish never to part from your loving embrace". She blushes a little, her grip tightening and pressing her against my body. I take her chin and lift it up so that I can give her our first kiss together, which transitions into what I hope will be just one of many times that we join together.