The little mamono walked away from my home as I looked at her oversized fluffy tail bouncing behind her.
I quit staring and went back inside my house.
I checked my wallet and it's content. After a quick examination, I came to the conclusion that everything was in order, nothing was missing. I was surprised, first that I lost my wallet without realising it, but then that it was given me back complelty intact, from a mamono of all things. What an emotional rollcoaster.
Maybe there is some honest mamono that would not jump on any occasion to jump on any man after all?
I put the recent event out of my mind, and decided to enjoy the rest of my friday night, with my computer, my TV, and my freshly bought burger.
After wasting my friday's night doing nothing productive, wich is the correct way to properly enjoy your friday night, I finnaly decide to go to bed. As I drifted to sleep, the idea that this one fluffy tail would probably be more comfortable than my current pillow absently infiltrate my mind.
The next morning, I woke up late, with the prospect of the full week end offering itself to me realising I almost already wasting a quarter of it, and a furious envy to buy a better pillow.
It was a slow and usual saturday, nothing special about it. However, when night arrive, I decided to go back to Bogey's Burger, maybe I would see again that Ratatoskr and I could thanks her properly.
Once arrived, unsurprisingly, she was not here. Who go to the same fast food two night in a row anyway? I still asked the employee at the counter if she remembered a squirrel girl. She did remeber seeing one, but she did not know anything about her, probably not someone used to come here?
"Damn, I guess I will never see her again." I sighted.
"Awww, isn't that cute, trying to find a mysterious girl that you only saw once, so romantic!" Commented the Bogey employee.
"No it's not like that at all! I just want to thanks her properly that's all." I retorted defensively.
"Suuuure." She said with a giggle. "Why don't you try to come back nex Friday at the same hour you did yesterday? A lot of customer come every weeks at the same hours."
That was actually a good idea, in fact, in my current situation it was my best option. Not that I wanted to see that Ratatoskr THAT bad.
With that, I took my burger, went back home, and enjoyed the rest of my week-end peacefully.
The week went as usual, same work to the same place with the same peoples. Friday night arrived, and I almost completly forgot about my mysterious benefactor.
The fateful hour arrived and I went back to my favorite fast food. There, the same Bogey was behind the counter, taking customer orders. I looked around, no oversized fluffy tail in sight. Of course she wouldn't show up at the exact same time than me, I am not in some kind of romantic fiction with two strangers linked by fate, I am not desilusional.
I sat at a table and waited a bit, maybe she would come later.
Time passed, customers went in and out, and still no sign of the rodent girl. There was barely any customers coming in anymore when I decide to gave up and went to the counter getting an order of my own.
"No sign of your mysterious lover?" Asked the Bogey playfully while waiting for my order to be ready.
"No, and she is not my lover ok?" I said with a scowl.
She simply rolled her eyes. "Yea sure, well, I was pretty sure she wouldn't show up actually."
"What? Then why did you advice me to come back at same day same time? Don't tell me you just wanted to make sure I would come back?"
The employee in front of me just smile to me. "That would be 23$ dear customer~"
I growled, inserting my debit card in the card reader, giving up on my fate to eat all alone, once again, my favorite junkfood.
The card reader emitted that distinct sound and displayed the "REFUSED PAYMENT" message.
"God damn! Just my luck!" I grunted, thing were not going my way today.
"It's okay, I will let you go this time, why don't you come back next week to pay it?" Offered the Bogey with a knowing smile. The woman really know how to run her buisness.
I went home, same friday night as usual, and before I knew it, it was saturday.
I wasn't motivated to do anything this saturday, but I had to do some chores, more importantly I needed to check on my bank account after last night event.
I logged on my bank website, login, and check how I was doing.
I looked in more details, I was in the negative for some reason, in fact I was quite a bit in the negative.
Panick and confusion took me, I checked the recent expenses.
There sure was expenses, a lot of expenses. Furnitures, clothings, decorations, jewelry, and a lot more of things I don't remember buying, all more expensive than the others.
How was it possible? It had to be an actual nightmare. Maybe a bug in the bank's software?
It's only when I noticed an expense of 87$ for "Divine woody shampoo for silky solf tail" that I began to put two and two together.
The cheeky rodent girl took note of all my credit card informations, and was using my account as her own.
I quickly grab my phone and call the bank, explaining them that someone stole my credit card informations, so they could block my bank account.
"Since we don't know who took possession of you bank account, it will take a while before you could get all that money back." Explained the bank employee on the phone.
"So now I just wait and see?" I asked
"Well yes..." There was a pause, I heard the noise of a computer mouse clicking. "Ho! Maybe you should ask your wife if it's not already done, Ratatoskr tend to have a big information network, maybe she could help to find the culprit?"
It took me a while to process what he just said.
"What?"
"Sorry I did not mean to be rude or intrusive, I just saw on our database that your wife was a Ratatoskr so I thought it might be a good place to start, it was just an idea, sorry."
There as a moment of silence as a lot of thing were pushing into my brain at the same time. I didn't had the heart to explain to a random bank employee my situation in more details.
"It's ok, thank you" I finally stammered.
The call finally ended and I collapsed in my couch. Utter disbelief infiltrate my mind. Now I was administratively married apparently.
I was no expert, but I was pretty sure being officially married can have many advantages financially, especially among mamono in fact. That girl was really going to exploit me as much as she can would she?
I did not took my time to drown my despair into alcohol or any other kind of brevage as a loud knocking was heard at my door.
I slowly drag myself to the door, but the knocking already turned into a violent banging.
"Open the door your little shit!" I heard screaming at the other side of the door.
Now I really didn't want to open the door... But what could I risk? It couldn't be that bad, I did not grief anyone recently.
I opened the door carefully, but I barely unlocked it that it was slammed open. I saw a pair of Orc forcing their way into my home and pushing me.
More Orc came in, grabing me, followed by what I recognized as a Hight Orc.
They closed the door behind them, and before I could protest, draged me to the living room where they forced me to sit on a chair.
With their cloths and behavior, I was quick to identify the group as some kind of gang.
"Well well well." Started the Hight Orc, looking down at me. "If it isn't Liza little husband? Where is she!!"
"W-What?" I said confused.
The leading Orc slapped me.
"I got no time for your shit! Your wife owe me some big money, you guys are in big trouble, so just told me where she is, or I will just use you as an hostage!"
Despite my panicked mind, I finally understood the situation. By making me her husband, The Ratatoskr, or Liza, brought me in all her shady stuff... Maybe if I just explain the situation to the Orcs, they will understand? It look they have been duped by Liza as well, surely they would undersand."
"Your really are lucky, if you were unmarried, I would just rape you with my girls into submmission" She said with a grin.
I decided to not explain her the truth, maybe if I just play along thing will go for the better.
"I... I don't know where she is, I swear!" At least I wasn't lying.
"Ho come on now..." She rolled her eyes. "Fine, how about we just give her a call." She pull out a phone from her pocket and begin to dial a number on it.
She put the phone to her ears, waiting for someone to reply. I could feel the tension in the air, I looked around me, some other Orc were watching my every movement, I was the only one sit down, there was no escape possible for me.
"Hey! Well hello there!" Finally spoke the Hight Orc to the phone. "Dear Liza, it seem you have been deaf to my requests recently, but I think I have someone with me that should convince you to finally cooperate."
The Hight Orc put the phone on loud speaker and present it to me, indicating me to talk.
"Hey... Liza... it's me..." I said uncertain.
"You heard it Liza! So what's now?! I want you to come to your house right now!"
There was a moment of silence, before a familiar voice make itself know on the other side of the phone.
"Who was that?"
"Don't give me the shit Liza!! No need to play dumb anymore."
"...No seriously who's that?"
"Your little blasted nut eater! You're really trying to convince me that you don't recognize the voice of your own husband? Orc are not that stupid Liza!"
There was a moment of silence once again on Liza side.
"Hoooooo, you mean that guy? Ho yea sure, that's pretty bad I guess."
The Hight Orc was rubbing her eyes in annoyance.
"Don't try to act so tought and indifferent, I know that right now you are shivering at the idea of me having your husband while you are away, who know what bad could happend to him?"
"Yea that kind of suck."
The Hight Orc was began to reden in rage at the reaction of the Ratatoskr.
"You, say something to her!" Shout the fuming Orc at me while pointing the phone toward me, hoping I would convince the squirrel woman.
"Huu..." I hesitated. "Hey Liza... If you don't come here... I'm afraid the police may end up getting involved... That would drag some attention toward my - I mean, OUR 'situation' "
It seem she took a bit of time to proecess the informations, realising what I implied.
"Ho no! My poor hubby, please don't do anything bad, I am coming right up!" She said in a poor acting before hunging up.
"Yes! It worked!" Exclaimed the Hight Orc proudly.
"You're the best boss!" Commented an Orc.
"Yea! That Ratatok is so stupid, she is coming right into our trap." Added another.
Time passed, we simply waited in my living room, the Orc ended up settling down, some watched TV, other began to eat whathever was in my fridge, overall they were pretty bad kidnapper.
They all suddently stood up, alerted by the sound of police siren approaching my house.
"What! The bitch bring the police?" Exclaimed the Hight Orc. "You bastard! Is that what you meant to told her when you got her on the phone."
"What? No, I just thought that if she did nothing, me disappearing over a long period of time, it would have attract the police attention anyway." I explained, it seem pretty logical to me.
"Arf! I didn't thought about that! And I didn't thought about her calling the police on us neither!"
"Wait what? Woudln't that be an obvious thing to do?" I asked, were Orc that much simple?
"Shut up smarty pant! I Swear I will-"
She as cut short by the loud sound of someone violently opening the door, that the Orc didn't locked apparently, as fully suite police man enter the house.
The full equipped unit did a quick job to neutralize the Orcs, and just like that I was finally free.
I watched from my front door as the police was escorting the Orc in their van, one officer, a succubus, approach me with a familiar figure following behind her.
"Are you alright? You are lucky that your lovely wife warn us in time." She said with a smile, bringing my attention to the Ratatoskr behind her moving to me.
"You!" I exclaimed. "Your little-" The squirrel girl jump toward me and put her hand over my mouth.
"Ho my poor hubby." She said with a fake smile. "I hope those brute did nothing bad to you."
Of course she wouldn't just let me spill the bean in front of the police.
"Awwww, aren't you two cute?" Giggle the succubus,
"Ha ha... Yea..." I tried to smile, but my eyes were trying to obliterate the Ratatoskr in front of me.
The succubus was completly oblivious to the exchange of fake smile and poisonous gaze.
"Come on my dear hubby, you will catch a cold if you stay outside right?" She said with a fake sweet ton, her voice full of venom to my ears.
"Yea sure, after all we need to talk about your... recent expenses..."
The Ratatoskr suddently paled and tried to look away. "Ha ha... Yes... That too..."
"There is nothing better that reuniting a lovely couple." Said the succubus, in awe from the display of "affection" in front of her.
"You guys have a lovely night." She said with a wink before leaving to her car.
Me and my "wife" went inside our home, after we had so much to tell each other.
I one shoted the whole thing, and I am too tired to check proof the whole text, so sorry if there is alot of typos, I will correct them later.