Bummer, you died in a tragic accident and feel yourself fading away. Far off in the void you see a light approaching. A doorway to the afterlife perhaps. The light gets closer and you see that it is a screen of sorts with the title, Lovehandle 40,000 above it. You skim through the screen and realize that it is similar to Warhammer 40,000 except instead of extreme violence, it is extreme lewdness.
The Imperium of the Sabbath, as its name suggests is comprised of mamono who believe in the Sabbath way of life. The Space Marine faction is loaded with the greatest mamono warriors who follow the Sabbath code. Then there is Chaos consisting of mamono such as Baphomets and witches who turned away from the Sabbath and instead pursued the path of oppai. There are four Chaos Goddesses that they worship and each goddess represents a different aspect of life. The Goddess of Rage is all about dominance and is usually worshipped by aggressive mamono like Hellhounds and Ocelomehs, the Goddess of Love is, as her title suggests is about caring for your significant other and is worshipped by all manner of succubi, Cupids and even some Apopi, the Goddess of Trickery encourages fun and pranks; her worshippers are the mamono that you would expect to find in Wonderland, and finally the Goddess of Life believes in growth and nurturing of the next generation and is therefore worshipped by plant mamono. All of these Goddesses can sometimes combine their forces to create a nigh unstoppable army.
The Orcs are their usual pink selves apart from their green counterparts. They enjoy fighting, raiding, and finding new husbands. Their armor and vehicles are usually cobbled together in a ramshackle fashion and they possess the psychic ability of belief like the Orks in that if enough of them believe something to be true, then it will be true. An example of this is painting a vehicle red will make it go faster and wearing blue clothing will allow you to breathe underwater. Orc clans are often led by larger, much more powerful High Orcs and they will utilize Goblins and Gremlins to handle more menial tasks.
Next is the Wahei, a faction comprised entirely of Zipangese mamono and believe that it is their mission to spread peace to the entire galaxy. Like the Tau that they are similar to, they specialize in long-range weaponry and prefer to plan out their strategies before they execute them. Their melee fighters like the Onis and the Hinezumis are nothing to sneeze at though.
Another faction on the list are the Elves, a prideful race with advanced technology who believe that they are superior to all other species and unlike the Eldar, are not a dying race. Same with the Dark Elves who are all about BDSM and are abhorred by their Elf counterparts, though they see that as a badge of honor. A heated moment between these two groups is never an uncommon occurrence.
Then there are the Ahnkuras who are the more perverted counterparts of the Necrons, consisting entirely of undead mamono with high-ranking undead like vampires and wights leading the lesser undead with a Pharoah at the top of the hierarchy. The Ahnkuras have been known to invade planets to capture men and bring them back to their crypt-like cities. Pharoahs are known to sleep for hundreds of years and their armies are weaker as a result, but should they be awake then those that serve under them will be incredibly powerful with a near unshakable motivation.
Finally there are the Insoant. A vast race of tall, muscular bug mamono who are carried by massive, insect-like ships to planets where they proceed to ravage all of the men there and claim the planet as their own. They possess incredible stamina and their army sizes are numerous. You can tell that they are similar to the Tyranids, except what both factions hungers for differs greatly.
With the factions laid out for you to choose, your mission is to help the faction claim superiority over a planet that is like Earth's. Once you select a faction, you are blinded by a bright white light and seconds later find yourself on the ground of the planet surrounded by your forces. Someone who will be your assistant throughout your campaign approaches you and informs you that your army awaits your command.
WWYD?