“Aw honey, I’m ooooozed to see you today!” I said, looking right into my wife’s eyes. She freezes in place, the huge blob of slime an inch from me, she rearing up about to embrace me, tendrils about to seize my limbs, but currently hanging in midair. Then the look of ecstasy on her face vanishes, lucidity returns and she’s scowling at me. I can’t help but grin. Now for the follow up. “Quite the sticky situation you’ve gotten yourself into”. She continues to stare at me, her tendrils now retracting.
“You and your stupid puns!” She tried to storm indignantly out of the room, but was made significantly more difficult by her new body. So she slooooooooowly oozed through the doorway, arms crossed.
I went to sleep in our own bed, but I was alone, as my wife now had no need of one. She made it perfectly clear that she wanted nothing to do with me. And that night, I had a dream. A tiny little voice in my head.
“Hey buddy. Hey! Listen up!”
“Huh? Who’s there?”
“Listen you little human man! You fucked up big time, and that’s why none of us are fucking right now! It sure took a lot for you to snap your lovely wife and my wonderful new host out of the frenzy she was in. Do you know how mad she is?”
“I have an idea. I’ve been through this before, and I suspect we’ll be through this again”.
“Ah that is if I have anything to say about it. Now tomorrow I want you to leave the house and stay out all day. Come back at sunset. I’ll sort things out for you and when you get back we can have the proper introductions that man and mamono deserve”.
“Host...Wait a second, I’m not taking orders from a little thing living inside my wife’s head!”
“Baby…” the voice is flowing with passion and I can feel my nerves tingling as the voice shifts to the exact cadence of my wife, “I can show you both worlds of pleasure, wonders you could never have dreamed of without my assistance. I promise you, I haven’t harmed a single hair on her pretty head. Just made her see a new way of living. And now I’m off!” With the last comment, the voice changed back to the little murmur I had been introduced to.
“How the hell you do that?”
“More energy than I care to!”
I open my eyes, and look over at the clock. 4:30 am. I get out of bed, walking to the other room where my wife is sleeping. Shine a light on the floor and try to shake her awake. But it’s like she’s out cold. Won’t respond. I go back to sleep.
The next morning I’m up, and despite eating together, she still won’t speak to me. I decide to listen to the little voice in my head, and go out for the day.
---
That night I opened up the door and cautiously stepped inside. I looked around, wondering where she was. As I walked into the other room,
“Honey? Where are you?” There was a sound behind me. Tendrils seized my limbs, dragging me around so that I was facing her, as she smothered my lips. As my clothes were quickly removed, I felt the rest of her body reaching to envelop me in its grasp.
I woke up the next morning, laying on the bed of slime beneath my wife. She was smiling softly as she slept, wrapped around me. I looked to see a little tendril, sneaking around to face me, what appeared to be eyes and a tiny mouth, twisting into a satisfied grin.