Screw it, I've lurked for long enough, time to nut up and actualyl contribute!!!!
Fuck!, I thought, I just wanted to be single in peace! Now I've been shanghaied with a Hellmutt! It’s been a week since the hellhound, who I learned was named Cloe, unceremoniously moved into my apartment. My only solace was that I hadn't been properly claimed yet. It was only a matter of time though, I needed to get her out fast. Unfortunately, even the 'timid' species of mamono were hard to drive off once they've made up their mind. How the hell was I supposed to get rid of a damn Hellhound? I was raking my brain while I absent mindedly scanned over my mail, only to find a strange pamphlet.
Fire Problems? Call our hotline and get a certified water elemental and send those flames packing
First visit is free! ;)
I looked over the pamphlet before turning my gaze to Cloe who was dutifully glaring at my Cheshire neighbor through the blinds and muttering something about catgirl bullshit. I couldn't help but notice the brilliant plumes of flame jutting from her eyes,
-The Next Day-
The doorbell rang just before I finished breakfast and Cloe was on it like a shot. She cracked it open slowly, glancing out at the would-be intruder. "Whatever your selling, scram, we ain't buying," she barked out.
"Terribly sorry," came a melodious voice, "is this the anon residence?"
"Who wants to know?" my unwelcome dog guard asked.
Seeing my potential savior at the door I called out. "Yes, it is come on in!" Clearly at a loss, Cloe stepped aside and opened the door fully, allowing the visitor to reveal herself as tall, lithe undine.
She gracefully waked past the hellhound to stand by my side. "Thank you for choosing Hyros fire care services. My name is Sylvia," she said with a slight curtsey.
"Thank you for coming on such short notice," I replied politely before standing up, careful to place myself behind Sylvia. "C-Cloe," I began nervously. "Thank you for all your help the last few days, but..."
"Buuuuut?" Cloe asked suspiciously, appearing to loom even taller as she stepped forward.
"But your guard services are no longer needed." I was already cowering behind the water elemental before Cleo could even react to her dismissal.
"No." she said with simple commitment. "I was hired to guard you and protect you from other mamono. Now you invite this, this, WATERY TART into your home without hesitation!" She advanced forward, her flames growing higher and hotter with each step. "You need my protection now more than ever! I knew I should have just claimed you days ago, but now I have no cho-ghpghph!" Her tirade was suddenly unintelligible as a steam of water rushed into her face. Sputtering, she brought her hand up to protect her face as steam rolled off her extinguished eyebrows. 'H-Hey, just wait until I...ghghgp... Q-quit it! FUCK!" Resilient as she was, the hell hound eventually succumbed to the torrent and was forced out, soaking wet and steaming (both literally and figuratively.)
FREE AT LAST!!! I shouted in my head. Sylvie turned back to me and I couldn't help but hug her in thanks. She smiled warmly at me as I thanked her profusely. "Of course, anon, it’s what I was sent here to do after all. although..." Her smile widened and lost some of its warmth. "Hellhounds are awfully persistent. I should really stick around for a while. In case she comes back..." A cold shiver ran up my spine as the situation dawned on me. "Where's the bathroom by the way? I could use a nice bath after that." You numbly pointed her in its direction. She released you from her embrace and sauntered away, making sure to sway her hips as much as inhumanly possible. "Feel free to join me," she added with a wink and a blown kiss.
I all but fell back into my chair. Still numb from what I had gotten myself into I saw another pamphlet out of the corner of my eye.
Leaks? Flooding? Water Damage? Called Ittan-Mo-Co Water Specialists today!
Never Forget to Bring a Towel!