“What?! Where am I?! What wizardry is this?!”
My head was pounding as though I’d just emptied an entire tankard of mead down at the tavern while drinking with Bedivere and Galahad as in the old days. But I would have still surely sworn on my honor as a Knight that I’d not touched a drop in a week. My eyes gained focus and shapes gained clarity. I was no longer sitting in the small abode I called home. That much I could tell instead I appeared to be the depths of some great crypt of mausoleum. Three glass vestibules were set against one wall and pentagrams lined the floor. No doubt it belonged to a nefarious Warlock or Enchantress. Even worse I was alone my armor and weapons were nowhere to be found.
“Where are you? Show yourself foul Warlock!”
-Oh my! It looks like our next contestant is here! But you seem agitated good sir, whatever for?-
A form appeared in the darkness before resolving itself to reflect the image of a blue skinned woman with night-dark wings, tail, and horns. Her eyes shone as embers dripping with the hue of blood. Even in this form she would not beguile my senses.
“Morgana La Fey! I should have known it would be you from the dreadful stench!”
-Who? … Wait a minute, what stench?! What are you talking about?-
“It matters not you strumpet! The last time we met you availed to kill my brothers of the Round and my Lord Arthur! I will not let such heinous transgressions pass unpunished wretch! “
-Punished, ahh as fun as that sounds I’m married sweetie.-
I had heard enough of the witch’s yarns and charged at her intent on knocking her down but as I approached I was suddenly relieved of my footing and lifted into the air by some invisible hand.
-You’re not playing around are you? Oh dear I hope they didn’t…-
The Demon pulled forth a dark rectangular box no doubt a phylactery or rune stone to use for some insidious purpose.
-Hey Hon, it’s me. Can you check the Inter World Portal Generator for me? … No we’ve got another drifter…No he’s a Knight this time, called me La Fay and some other less than gentlemanly terms I think he’s one of Arthur’s boys … No I don’t need you to kick his ass, though it’s sweet of you to ask…Really? I told those upper management morons not to touch the array! Ok, thanks Hon see you tonight…Love you too. Okay then Sir Knight it looks like I have some explaining to do.-
After having what was going on explained to me and what a ‘Game-Show’ is as well as my purpose in the matter I was finally better at ease. The only note that gave me pause was the fact that I could not be returned to my world because a ‘glitch’ had caused my transference though the Portal into this land. I was not meant to be here, and yet this land did seem to have its promise. In truth there wasn’t much left for me in my old world. It had been many years since my King had receded to Avalon and I was little more than an immortal guardian to the gates of Camelot, left alone, forgotten by time. Perhaps I could find comfort here in the arms of a fellow wandering ageless soul.
-Okay, we‘re back everyone! Sorry for the delay. Now onto the next episode of Finding Your Mamono Match! Our lovelorn bachelor today is a real life medieval knight from the lost kingdom of Camelot named Daniel. The three lovely ladies trying to win his affection are Aketa the Automaton, Celestria the Cursed Sword, and Lecie the Living Armor. Now then the rules are simple. Daniel will ask these sweet ladies a series of four questions of his choice from the sheet we've given him. Each lady will then give their answer without being able to hear the others' answers. At the end, he'll leave with one lucky lady of his choosing from the three as his new spouse! Now let’s play the game!-
I sigh as I consider the three ladies before me; they each seem lovely in their own way, though I do have concerns as to what a Living Armor may be. Though as a Knight of the Round Table I was trained never to judge someone by their appearance but by the quality of their heats. I must be fair.
“Good morn, ladies. If I may make my first inquiry, what is the most important part of an intimate relationship to you?”
Aketa: The most important thing in any relationship is loyalty. If you were to choose me we would become bonded together. I would take care of with my whole being while you would do the same for me. You will never be alone. We will be no longer two beings but halves of the one, only together could we be whole.
Celestria: The most important thing to me is trusting the one you love; to be able to completely open yourself to that special person and share everything. Your fears, or thoughts, your goals and joys without rejection. Together we can share our deepest hopes and dreams, and need not fear being abandoned.
Lecie: For me the most important thing is being able to feel safe and loved. Where I to be your choice I would be guarding you at all times. During the day you would wear me into battle and at night you would fall asleep in the comforting embrace of my ethereal body.
Wow those answers were a lot deeper and much more personal than I expected especially for the first one.
“Okay thank ye for your answers ladies. Now then how would you react if I were diagnosed with a life threatening illness?’
Aketa: I would activate my neural uplink to access every database in the world and would search tirelessly until I found you a cure.
Celestria: I would go directly to the Medical Sabbath and demand their assistance in restoring your vitality. No matter what the cost was to me I would do whatever is necessary to make you well.
Lecie: I would use my contacts in the Demon Lord’s Army and call in all my favors to insure you were granted the best medical care available. It would be worth it just to know you were well.
That did little to break the tie either and each of the ladies genuinely wanted someone to love that much was obvious. Then it came to me, why did they come here surely they have anyone they wanted.
“Why did you three come here today? You seem like such lovely ladies why choose this option instead of any other suitor?”
Aketa: I was recently reactivated after many centuries of negative functioning. The world I knew is gone…I am alone. You are also alone. Your world is gone. Together we would no longer be alone.
Celestria: Before the current Demon Lord came to power I did not possess thoughts, feelings a will, a body. I was just an inanimate object; I was broken and discarded when it was deemed that my use had ended. You are the same way; you have been left alone and forgotten for so long. Perhaps together we could forge a new destiny. One where, together, we could heal our damages.
Lecie: I was crafted long ago before the current age to protect others. But the only way I could do that was to join with a willing wearer. By joining with someone I can help them reach their potential and only then be complete myself…But no one wanted armor like me I was seen as dark magic, I was rejected and thrown to the scrapyard. You are a knight with a purer heart than I have ever seen; please choose me so that I may aide you in your quests. Let us become joined spirits in love, working to help others as we both yearn to do as well as each other.
I was stunned and I wiped my eyes slightly as a few tears fell from my face. These revelations had called to my heart and their stories echoed my own. I could not choose one and abandon the others. It would be too cruel an action for my heart to bear. But could I really take all three ladies? Would they accept such an offer?
“Your honesty and candor has touched me deeply fair maidens I have but one last query. How do you feel about sharing a Husband?”
Aketa: If It were you I had to share, such a proposition would be…acceptable.
Celestria: Hmphf…I wanted you to myself and I’d have to get used to it. But, fine yes I’d share.
Lecie: To have you, my knight my love safe and with me and to know that I had two sisters who would love and care for you as much as I would? Hurrah how splendid!
“That day I found love, in three beautiful, complicated, sweet, and temperamental ladies. Your moms were the best thing to happen to me. Well besides you three little cuties, now come on it’s time for bed.
Well it’s really late but I hope it was worth the wait.
Edit Sorry forgot to list the next three ladies.
Nightmare, Arachne, Alp