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  • You're walking along the trail that goes between the grassy plains on the left and the forest on the right. All seems normal until you hear strange music that gets louder. Then you spot it. A massive swarm consisting of Beelzebubs and Vamp Mosquitoes and they're heading in your direction.

    WWYD?

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    • I stand still, and let them come at me. Hopefully only some of the swarm decides to marry me, as I probably wouldn't be able to handle that many Beelzebubs and Vamp Mosquitoes all at once.

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    • A moment of silence for our brave man Tikkit.

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    • I'm glad that taking the easy way to a harem of beautiful bug girls is considered brave.

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    • I had been looking forward to getting home to my Dhampir wife, and a few bugs are not going to stop me. I draw my sword (an actual sword, not that), and I tell the vamp mosquitos, "In case you can't smell it, I'm married, and my wife and I fight real vampires for a living. You are nothing."

      That gets most of them to back off. A few infuriated ones come at me, but a few quick parries and cuts drive them off. I take a couple steps to walk away, but then I notice the other swarm is still coming this way, and they show no signs of backing off or going around. All I can say is, "...Drat."

      I immediately run along the path. However, some of the swarm notices me and gives chase. Inevitably, a few catch up to me, and I swat them aside before continuing. I manage to get near the end of the forest part of the trail with little more than a small cut on my coat. But then, the rest of the swarm emerges at the other end of the trail. Looking back, I see that I'm still being pursued. I'm completely surrounded. A small tear runs down my eye as I look at the ring my wife crafted for me using her own energy.

      "I'm sorry, dear. Things don't look good. …But I'm not going to let them catch me..." I ready my sword in a guard position, and I wrap my coat around my sleeve for extra defence and to conceal my strikes. The rest is a blur of metal, coat and claws...

      A bit later in the day, my wife hears the door open. I walk inside; my coat's completely torn, my sword is bent, there's a piece of wing impaled on the sword, and my clothes have more cuts and pieces missing than the training dummy we threw out last week.

      "Honey, what happened to you?" She asks me.

      I just drop my sword and ruined coat at my feet, gently hold her face in my hands, and I kiss her. I'm just so happy to be alive, and to be able to see my wife and hold her again. As I keep my lips on hers, my wife immediately understands. She takes off my ruined clothes, then she removes her clothes, and we proceed to the bedroom and make love for the next several hours to celebrate my return home...

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    • Nice story Vanguard!

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    • @Flamebiplane Thanks. I thought it would be interesting to make it so I had somewhere I needed to go.

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    • I pull out a vial of highly concentrated lemon extract and sprinkle it around myself. The swarm of Beelzbubs and Vamp Mosquitoes freeze in mid-air just a few feet in front of me the moment they all catch a wiff of the Lemon extract.

      "Ewww! Lemon!" they all cry out before buzzing off in the opposite direction, allowing me to continue on my way. 

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    • Flies and mosquitoes hate lemon. Who knew Corvus?

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    • I learned that lemon acts as a natural repellent as a child due to the fact I used to get eaten alive by mosquitoes.

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    • @vanguard95 Don't really want to ruin things here, But majority of mamono dont share.

      It's because who ever the man is married to causes the males spirit energy to "taste foul". so monsters let married men (At least married to other monster) in peace. Unless of course the wife is a harme builder, like Bicorn. or of course a werewolf pack, swarm of devilbugs, or large mices.

      Then again I could see that there would be exceptions where the wife invites someone to join, or a random monster is on desperate need of spirt energy...

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    • @JOVA82 I am aware of that.

      If you noticed, I never said that any of them intended to take me, and most of the vamp mosquitoes fled when they heard I'm married; the ones that remained acting out of anger at my, "You're nothing" remark than any sense of lust.

      As for the other part of the swarm, I was trying (and clearly failing) to imply a) that they didn't hear me, and b) that they were already in something of a frenzy due to the nature of the swarm, so they wouldn't care.

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    • I calmly continue to walk, unimpeded and undetered by the uncoming swarm of Mamonos. Confused by my reaction, they all stop in their 'tracks' and gawk at me. Shortly after, I begin to speak to them:

      "I know what it’s like to be lonely. To feel so desperately that you’re loved, yet to remain single nonetheless. As storms turn the wings to jelly. I ask you to what end ? Crave it, run to it, destiny arrives all the same. And now, it’s here. Or should I say, I am."

      I raise my right hand, full of arcane markings and runes, emanating a purple glow of mysticism. Half the swarm continued to be confused, while the other half were begining to be frightened.

      "You could not live with your celibacy. Where did that brought you ? Straight to me."

      My hand continues to glow, ever so bright with every passing second. Until it has reached it's peak... and ready to be unleashed. The frightened half of the swarm decided to fly away, while the confused half attempted to attack me while they could. But it was too late. For I...

      "... Am inevitable."

      • snap
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    • Jesus Christ, I hope that's the Thanos snap of marriage, or teleporting away, and not the other thing.

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    • Tikkit wrote: Jesus Christ, I hope that's the Thanos snap of marriage, or teleporting away, and not the other thing.

      A Beelzebub falls on her knees, weakened.

      "Sisters... I don't feel so good..."

      "Neither of us does, dummy ! That magic-man has teleported us in the bloody tropics !", snaps a Vamp-Mosquito.

      "Yeah, it's as hot as a Hellhound's bum-hole !", chimes in another Beelzebub.

      Another Vamp-Mosquito asks: "Hey, some of us are missing. Where do you think they are ?"

      Meanwhile, a mage laughs with glee while inscribing his new familiars with runes...

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    • Phew, I was worried for a second. Though lethal force against mamono does seem out of character for you... Now the real question is... why does a Beelzebub know how hot a Hellhound's bum-hole is?

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    • Tikkit wrote: Phew, I was worried for a second. Though lethal force against mamono does seem out of character for you... Now the real question is... why does a Beelzebub know how hot a Hellhound's bum-hole is?

      First of all, you know it, dude. I will ALWAYS abhor violence against Mamonos, as well as Mamonos being violent towards people (something that some people seem to ignore because stupid 'edgy kinks).

      Edit: Unless they really have to defend themselves if they have no choice, of course.

      Second, uneducated Beelzebubs probably think Hellhounds are made of fire, just like Ignises or Lava Golems. Nothing hyper-kinky was tried, I asure you...

      And third, I wanted some familiars. I needed Vamp-Mosquitos for 'blood magic' (nothing evil, I asure you once more) and Beelzebubs for... dumpster-diving. It's a long story.

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    • Edgy kinks are inevitable with cratures like hellhounds and dark elves.

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    • I continue to walk along, unperturbed. For all that the vamps are mamono, they're still mosquitoes. THAT is something many forget... but not me.

      The first one comes swooping towards me, before rearing back so hard she falls on her ass on the ground. Staring at me a moment in disbelief, she leans forward slightly and sniffs me, her hand slapping over her nose as she quickly backs away and takes to the air.

      "Run," she screams, "he's tainted! He'll poison us! RUN!!!"

      Concerned by the sheer terror in their sister's voice, the other Vamps quickly turn away. Taking their cue from the Vamps the Beezs follow, confused but unwilling to take the chance.

      I sigh in satisfaction. You see, I've been eating a lot of Italian food recently, and with it a healthy amount of garlic. As anyone who eats garlic on a regular basis can tell you, it works its way through your system and out through your skin, and acts as a natural insect repellent.

      And that's one to grow on. ;-p

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    • AngryLance: Good response! Glad you didn't wipe them out!

      WhysperShadow: Admirable protection against the swarm.

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    • A FANDOM user
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