• You had just finished basic training in the order army, and had received a news that you would end up in one of the smaller units, that was lead by a centurion who was referred as order hero.
    As you told this to others that had been in basic training with you, they were envious. Most wanted to serve in that group, but now they would be sent somewhere else, and in worst case scenario, they could be sent to protect a city that didnt really even need protection.

    You travelled with a caravan to small town in the middle of nowhere, where group you were about to join operated. Along the way you were surprised to see that the caravan was stopped by monsters, but you werent allowed to atack to protect the caravan, instead the caravan leader just started making deals with them.
    This happened a couple times, and as you asked about it from one of the caravan drivers, he claimed that the mosnters arent a real threat unless your are travelling alone, at least on this region.
    Eventually you arrived to your destination. and heard that the unit you were about to join had just recently had some losses, then again that seemed to be usual, that's how casually everyone were talking about it.

    You reported yourself in the barraks, and soon you were met with the centurion who would be your leader. and your first mission would be tomorrow when they go for their next patrol.
    How ever you were quite shocked when you heard about yuor position in that patrol.

    Next morning, you leave the town, following a road as you were told to. You dont have your order gear on, you are even unarmed, you are the living bait.
    Your job is to get attacked by monsters, the main force will be about two miles behind you, ready to make an ambush soon as they see you runnig back to them.
    This was definitely not something you signed up for.

    As you were walking along, servial hours had passed since you had left for the patrol and yuo hoped you had taken all the turns correctly. If not the main force would be miles away.
    You had just passed a bit larger opening in the forrest, and had entered back in to the woods when you suddenly heard a feminine voice coming from somewhere behind you.
    -"Hello handsome, I need a favor, I have an intch that I just can't scratch, but I think you have the right tool for it."
    As you turn around ready to run, but you see absolutely nobody anywhere.
    -"Up here" the voice says
    But as you look up in to the trees you get the feeling that running isnt going to help you much.
    Above you, you see a group of harpies, Running towards the army group trough the opening in the forrest would only get you captured faster, yuor best choise of avoiding the capture is most likely to run off the road, where the forrest get's more dence, so that they can't fly to you.


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    • Why had I joined?

      Perhaps a sense of duty, perhaps a sense of pride, perhaps to atone for how much of an embarrassment I'd been.

      But who was I kidding, I'm a softie!

      "Come here, then!"

      The Harpy who'd spoken chuckled, and quickly swooped down, landing right in front of me.

      I set to work, my hands gently exploring her smooth back, gently scratching until. . .


      Aha, I found it!

      I redoubled my effort, scratching away at her itchy back.

      She soon collapsed into me, and so I sat up against a tree, gently soothing her itch.

      Soon, she had drifted off, and so I gently set her down, allowing her space for sleep, I beckoned the next harpy, and under gentle massage and some scratching and stroking, she too fell under.

      And so it proceeded through the whole flock, I had to switch trees three times.

      By the time I'd finished, the group had caught up with me.

      I gave the signal for silence, and pantomimed sleep.

      They nodded in understanding, and silently approached.

      A few injections later, along with ear piercings and associated taggings, our mission was complete.

      I asked if it would be alright to take a Harpy as a wife, to which my commander replied:

      "Well, now they've been sterilized, feel free. Just make sure she wants you, too."

      A few other lonely gents were keen on doing the same, and so we were given a Homing Lizard to lead us back, and left to make our way into the hearts of the Harpies.

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    • I’m not stupid, the Harpy knows this area better then me so I just have to stall...

      “And what would that tool be?” I nervously say.

      I suddenly see that Harpie swoop down torwards me, land then turn around. “Your hands... its really hard to scratch a itch with feathers”, she almost begs.

      ...Well that makes stalling easier, and if i try to run the rest of the group will probably attack me so I end up scratching her itch...

      Afterwards even the rest of the group was in complete confusion on how that even happened...

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    • Well I did mean bit different kind of itch... but... well... I left that option open...

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    • I know... but the joke was there and I had to grab onto it

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    • JOVA82 wrote:

      Well I did mean bit different kind of itch... but... well... I left that option open...

      Neither itch is pleasant, it's good to lend a gand.

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    • or lend a penis

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    • A FANDOM user
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