• You are a prince who had been taken from your castle by a Dragon many months ago. You spent those months in the tower of a massive castle that is guarded ferociously by the Dragon. One day though, you see a figure come up the steps toward your prison. Upon a closer look you realize that the new arrival is a human woman dressed for combat. She spots you and calls out, "Worry not my troubled prince! I have come to rescue you and return you to your rightful home!"

    At that point you here footsteps thunder outside your door. The Dragon is coming.


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    • ANd with that, the role reversal has reached its apex

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    • Thank whatever divines there are, a distraction has finally appeared. The plan i've had too much time for is now in motion.

      "Yeah try to get me out with a dragon hot on your tail"

      Just then crashing through a lower wall the dragon and the heroine are in battle, perfect. The heroine is more durable than i initially thought, but now is not the time for praise. I've finally got a chance and i'm not letting it go.

      I dash down the tower step, and see them fighting. Man they're really going at it. I now sneak past while both are distracted, hoping the dragon doesn't notice. I've finally left the tower.

      Crouching behind some rubble, i look over at the two fighting

      "He is mine!"

      "He needs to unite a crumbling land!"

      Did she just say what i think she said? Am i king now? Even more reason to get home.

      As i'm sprinting through the ruined castle, the dragon comes crashing through a wall with the heroine leaping after her. Thankfully i managed to dodge just in time. I see it, salvation in the form of her horse. With no second thoughts i jump on the horse and leave the heroine to her battle.

      A few months later, in a war against a pretender as i lead my armies i hear it. Heavy wings beating against the air, then the collossal shadow. She's come back for me.

      (i am terrible at dialogue)

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    • I lift my glass.

      "Welcome, young hero! You have done well to cross the chasm of death, and the valley of despair-"

      "You mean the gorge and that place with the wierd pigs?"

      "-and defeating the boars of gluttony must have been no small feat! You now stand in our castle, ready to recieve our-"


      "Our castle."

      "Who else owns this castle?"

      "My fiancé, Aldir, the devourer of-"

      "I'm sorry, your what?"

      "I'm engaged, to Aldír, have been for a few years actually, always seem to get bad weather on days we book priests for, and not that many make it past the man-eating boars to begin with, so-"

      "You are engaged to me, prince!"

      . . .

      "Your face is a ghastly shade of red, would you like some wine to ease your nerves?"

      She backhands the bottle off the bedside table.

      "I, greatest war maiden in all the lands, was promised your hand in marriage if only I could retrieve you from the dragonkeep of the eastern mountains, and I have come to take you home!"

      "Well, that's all well and good, but you haven't retrieved me, I'm still on my cozy mattress."

      She turns almost purple with fury.

      "A battle maiden, hmm? It seems you're in need of a carnal education. I'll have to ask my darling, but I'm sure she'd allow you to join us, she adores humans, especially warriors, like us!"

      "Wait, wha-"

      A powerful THUMP Shakes the whole room.

      Followed by another, and another, and another.

      The thumps grow closer, soon acompanied by the scraping and clacking of dragon claws on stone.

      Aldír enters the room, and on seeing the sword, jumps the knightess.

      A mere ten seconds leaves the woman stripped bare of her armor, the steel rent open by sheer force.

      Aldír leaps to me, eager to hold me in her massive embrace.

      "So anyway, this unyielding beauty is my fiancé, and she loves nookie. I kinda expected her to just be super controlling, but after I beat her at fencing, she really mellowed out!"

      The woman gags.

      "Really, 'nookie,' you had all the words in the world, and you decided on 'nookie?'"

      "Well, that's what she calls it, but she's really good, whatever it's going to be called!"

      The knightess ponders. . .

      "Soooo, about that threesome?"

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    • @Smorstin: I wonder if she'll help you or try to take you back.

      @Justheretowrite: This amuses me greatly.

      @Anon: That's what I was going for!

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    • A golf ball hits her head.

      "Hey! What was-"

      "Sorry, my bad!" I shout down. "I got bored so Mary put a mini golf course in the tower. Golf isn't my favorite-" I shrug my shoulders helplessly- "But getting video games is difficult in a castle lacking any wiring or wifi"

      The girl gives me an incredulous look.

      "So... you aren't a prisoner?"

      "Oh, you misunderstand. I am most definitely a prisoner. But its kinda like being a POW to the Canadians. Mary is surprisingly nice for the whole kidnapping she pulled. The ghosts also help."

      The girl was about to speak again, but was again cut off, this time by one of the aforementioned ghosts.

      "I'm sorry to interrupt, Lord Hammerlock", she said,holding a tray of steaming cups. "But we made tea and-"

      "How many times must I say I don't like tea? Tea is for the weak."

      The tea is for us. We were wondering if you'd like to play some strip poker?"

      I shrugged.

      "Better than golf. Hey, soldier chick! Want to play some cards?"

      "And that", I finish to a very pissed dragon. "Is why you found me watching a ghost have erotic lesbian sex with a human while two other ghosts jerked me off."

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    • XD

      Awesome SirHammerlock! I sense some Monty Python in both yours and the second person's response.

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    • Well, tea is for the weak. Who drinks tea? Brits, the Japanese. Who doesn't drink tea? Americans. Who whooped the Brits and Japanese? America.

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    • Tea is for retired conquerors.

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    • Whooped conquerors

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    • Would be even more of a twist to find out the prince, during his kidnapping, accidentally became a girl (due to some magical mishap).


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    • Kingly K Duel wrote:

      Would be even more of a twist to find out the prince, during his kidnapping, accidentally became a girl (due to some magical mishap).


      (Hands Kingly the quill)

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    • Meh. It was more of an idea than a full on story thing. But if I decide to do so, ill post it here.

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    • (Hello I'm still alive and have come back to write more stories)

      Oh great, another one has come. I just rolled my eyes and started reading my book again. I could tell that she was a beginner based on how cocky she said it, and how her armor was in perfect shape. She must be as innocent as a child. I laughed at the idea of a child coming to save me from a dragon.

      However, she somehow passes the dragon unnoticed and reaches my room. She opens the door and walking in. "I've come to rescue you, now let's go!" she says to me.

      I put the book I was reading down on the table beside my chair. I look at the heroine and let out a big sigh. "Turn back while you can," I tell her.

      "What?" she stands there dumbfounded at my words.

      "I said, turn back while you can," I repeat to her. I let out another sigh looking at her confused face. "Don't think you're the only person that has come after me. First, you're fighting her on her territory. Second, this castle is a maze. Every hallway looks the same as the rest, while she knows her way around. Third, don't underestimate the power of the dragon that lives here. She can..." I tell her. Before I'm interrupted by another roar. "Speaking of the devil. You better start running because at the moment you have about a 10-second head start to make it to the castle front gate." I tell her before waving her off. The heroine stands dumbfounded for another a little bit just watching pick up my book and continue reading.

      BOOM! A wall blasted into a thousand pieces, revealing a very very pissed off dragon. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?" roars the dragon at the heroine that was now shaking in fear.

      "Crystal, please go easy on her. Just look at her your already scaring her. Just drop her off at the front gate, gently," I say to my "warden." The dragon looks at me and at the heroine. She lets a growl before saying "Fine but you owe me big time." She picks up the heroine and flies out of the room. I put my bookmark in the book and head out the broken wall, down a hallway and enter the bedroom. I soon hear the flapping of wings followed by a head resting on my shoulder.

      "I love you," she says to me as I feel her wings wrap around me.

      "I love you too," I say as I lean my head against hers.

      "You should rest because we both know how you'll be paying me tonight," she says as her tail pokes at my nether regions. All I could think was, It's gonna be one of those nights.

      (Sorry, I might be a little rusty.)

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    • Hey SnakeLover, good to see you again! Overall, this was a very good and funny story!

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    • Hey, you did good!

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    • A FANDOM user
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