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  • The first part filled up, so here's the second.

    Quick rundown:

    1. Phantom starts the story.

    2. Person derails the story.

    3. Person sets story for the next person to derail.

    Story

    Oh my goodness I thought we'd never get out of that mineshaft! Just the thought of being trapped in complete darkness gives me the shivers!

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    • “The darkness reflected my soul... I liked it.”

      Story

      “How about this: if I beat you in smash bros, you marry me. Ok?”

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      • beats her as Piranha Plant* Oh well, you loose!

      Phantom

      Alright! Double or nothing! If I beat you at Mario Kart you have to marry me in the Dark Elf fashion!

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    • "Can't lose if I don't play."

      Story

      "Manticores have the building surrounded. If we do the dirty now perhaps they'll leave us alone and go after everybody else."

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    • "That's why I brought this Bat-manticore repelent. See? preparation."

      Story

      "One, two I'm coming for you. Three, four better lock your door..."

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    • “Five, six, I’m out sick.”

      Story

      “I’m glad that, at the very least, our relationship is better than smg4’s toad and toadette’s.”

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    • "No idea who those are. Hey, wanna hear a really boring story?"

      Story

      "We need to be careful not to wake the giant Hellhound from her slumber."

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    • "HEY! WHAT WAS THAT? WAKE UP THE GIANT HELLHOUND? OKAY!"

      Story

      You dare to disturb my eternal slumber? This price for this is...your hand in marriage.

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      • pulls off robotic arm* Here you go! Have fun you two!

      Story

      I have returned from the dead so we can be together my love!

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    • "And I'll be sure to send you back!" *tries to push Phantom into the ground with little success*

      Story

      "Am I bugging you? I'm not touching you!"

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    • The phantom head rolls off after a shotgun blast is heard,”I didn’t touch you”

      Story

      “...How about we just agree to marry each other for world peace?”

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    • "I'd be out of a job if people stopped trying to kill eachother!"

      Phantom

      Ha! Get T-bagged loser! Now why don't we stop playing this game, do that for real!

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    • "No, you immature brat!"

      Story

      "One of these chests contains 500 gold, the other is a Mimic. Be careful."

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    • ...they're both mimics aren't they.

      Story

      • hands a fat stack of cash* "Doggy style, no kissing, no callbacks in the morning, and I like it rough."
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    • “...your making derailing you really hard you know... but no...”

      Story

      “You been frozen for 69 years and been unfrozen to help us repopulate the world”

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    • "Hehehehe... 69. Anyways, wake me up when it's 420 years!"

      Story (continued)

      • hands two even bigger stacks* Same, but anal.
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    • “Again, tough choice, but no.”

      Story

      “If you don’t make love to me, I will ensure that you never see your family and friends ever again.

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    • “...Ha the green owl mage already took my family”

      Story

      “I have a child and your the father” They are holding a obviously fake baby

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    • I believe you're looking for Hasbro not me

      Story

      I have your dog.. if you ever want to see it again you'll meet me in room 303 at the starlight inn

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    • "Thanks for taking it off of me. It's said to be cursed and whoever touched it last gets the curse transferred to them. Have fun with him!"

      Story

      How are you liking my lowrider? I won it at an auction.

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    • “I like trains.”

      Story

      “Ok, when I tried your favorite movie that didn’t work. What about your favorite game?”

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    • "I don't play games."

      Story

      "We need to protect the Oppai Cannon at all costs. The Sabbath are sure to try to stop us."

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    • "I agree completely, that's why I asked the teenage mutant ninja Umi Oshos for help."

      Story

      "Welcome to prime time, bitch!"

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    • "Language lady! I'll be reporting this transgression to the boss."

      Story

      "We need to evacuate the city! A Cheshire Cat has taken control of the Demonic Energy plant and says that she'll unleash DE upon us in ten minutes!"

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    • “It’s probably just another prank.”

      It wasn’t.

      Story

      “Fine! Since you won’t go along with the stories you get to make them! And they have to be as romantic as possible!”

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    • “I’m to lazy”

      Story

      “How about you come here and cuddle” The phantom opens up their arms while a second phantom hides around the corner with their head poking out and they have a red bow in their head.

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    • "Not with the stalker hanging around"

      (And now I have S.T.A.L.K.E.R on my mind) 

      Story

      "Rookies don't last long in the Zone if they go solo. You need an experienced guide like me to help you"

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    • "Nah it's fine ma'am. What could possibly go wrong?"

      • ten minutes later gets jumped by a Minotaur with a minigun*

      Story

      "Been working out for a while hon. What do you say we test out my new muscular body?"

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    • "B-but I liked you the way you were!"

      Story

      "See, this? This right here? It's a Lilim. I knocked her the fuck out! Do you love me now? Do you?!"

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      • points to the three unconscious Wurms behind me* "Gonna take a lot more than that to scare me into marrying you."

      Story

      • murmuring* Let's see, one pound of steak diced, half pound of Raging and Sticky mushrooms each, four drops of manticore venom....

      A few minuites later, "Alright sir, heres that mushroom beef stew you ordered! Will there be anything else~?"

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    • "Yeah, my actual order. I asked for a chicken parmy."

      Story

      "That Baphomet sure is set on claiming you. I reckon I can take her though. Will you give me a kiss for good luck?"

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    • "Good luck, an Ocelomeh already claimed me."

      Story

      "Say I'm permanently transformed into your ideal wife. Would that win your love?"

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    • “I prefer people who stay true to themselves.”

      Story

      “You saved me! Your a brave boy. Now let’s join in holy matrimony.”

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    • I'm married to a shirohebi already

      Story

      • dressed in slutty cow costume* Well howdy there pardner! You wanna come over here and wrastle up this old steer? I can promise it'll be a real ride!
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    • "Eugh...that's just disgusting. Good-bye!"

      Story

      "The Wurm Fields. Move carefully, and keep an eye out for the Hell Wurm. If she senses us she'll charge right for you."

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    • *Me before seeing the hell wurm*

      ^me after seeing the hell wurm^

      Story

      “🎵I made you breakfast sweetie🎵“

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      • sees its bacon and pancakes* yay

      [*Upon discovery it is tofu bacon and Wheatgrass Pancakes*]

      Story

      You wake up hung over to her cuddling up to you, "That was amazing! Can we do it again?"

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    • "How the fuck did you get in my bed?"

      Story

      "I am the famous scriptwriter Michelle Bay. Wanna see some shit blow up?"

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    • "Explosions aren't my thing."

      Story

      "You have trespassed on my grounds young man. Now you must pay the price!"

      • she gets into a suggestive pose*
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    • “Actually this is my land so, *uses angry old man voice* GIT OFFA MY LAWN!”

      Story

      “Have you really forgotten? Back when I was alive, we promised to marry each other. Or was that all a lie?”

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    • "Did we? All I remember was you offering me cheesecake."

      Story

      "I'm home with pizza!"

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    • "You ordered vegetarian?! OUT!"

      Story

      "This is it, the nukes are flying. Surely we can share one kiss before the end?"

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    • "Actually it's not bad at all. The nukes are designed to spread demonic energy instead of nuclear radiation. Now if you'll excuse me I'll be running outside in nothing but my underwear in anticipation of the fun about to begin.

      Story

      "What the!? These demons have transformed into mamono. Hurry, let's take a ship off Mars while they're distracted!"

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    • "But that busty one over there is winking at me..."

      Story

      (In a thick Austrian accent) "Come with me if you want a meaningful relationship"

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    • "Can't, there's a police officer after me!"

      Story

      "Darling, I will tear through legions upon legions of Hell's forces to rescue you from imprisonment. Just keep holding on and don't lose hope."

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    • “I got tired of waiting so I broke out three weeks ago.”

      Story

      “Please! Just give me one kiss or hug and then I’ll leave you alone forever if you want me to.”

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    • "How about I give you nothing you beggar!"

      Story

      "The legendary giantess Sphinx! Answer one of her riddles wrong and we're goners!"

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    • "The riddle is 'do you want to play hide the salami'. Trust me, I've got this."

      Story

      "Here we are, the inner sanctum of the pharaoh's tomb. Watch yourself professor, this one's a sly bitch. who keeps cucking me out of potential husbands *ahem* Yes, be careful.

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    • "I found the Pharaoh..." The professor gets cut off as he's pulled into the pharaoh's arms.


      Story

      Why is this so hard? All the other phantoms can immerse a man so completely he believes it's real but You all see through it like I'm Vince McMahon! Why?!

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    • "Well, it's just that you're trying too hard dear and your stories aren't that interesting. Now why don't you get some rest?"

      Story

      "Get down! Minotaur with a minigun!"

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    • Ehhhh relax she's not got any ammo!


      Story

      "Ahhh you're finally awake! I don't know where this convoy is going but Sovngarde awaits us!"

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      • Dragonborn theme plays as he looks back with flare in his eyes

      Story

      Quick, jump to me, the building's on fire! I-It's fine if your clothes burned off, I'll still catch you!

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    • "It's okay! I'm immune to fire!"

      Story

      "So far so good. I'm far ahead of that Satyros in this Presidential race. Keep up the good work!"

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    • NegaNoodler
      NegaNoodler removed this reply because:
      Thunder done did get the stolen from me
      16:05, May 2, 2019
      This reply has been removed
    • "Uhm miss, the Satyros just declared that she would make mens pants and underwear illegal and that she would change the rape laws so it only counts when the female involved is human. She just got nearly all of the mamono votes."

      Story

      "And I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you derailing kids!"

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    • "I didn't derail crap! That was the others!"

      Story

      "A Hellhound has become a goddess and...I'm afraid the prophecy says that only you can satisfy her lust. You...may not be able to return, and you have no idea how much that's going to break my heart. If you find another way, please use it!"

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    • "You know I was already married to that hellhound right? Harley and I grew up together..."

      Story

      "Good news is we now know what the other side of a black hole looks like, bad news is now we're stuck here. Better get to repopulating here don't you think?"

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    • MockingJester
      MockingJester removed this reply because:
      Already answered.
      15:52, May 2, 2019
      This reply has been removed
    • "Good thing there's more people on this ship than just us two. Now where's that sexy Youko hiding?"

      Story

      "Honey, I think you transported us too far in time. Granted, the Orcs still look cute, but now they're wearing strange armor, carrying much bigger swords, and are just screaming some weird battle cry. And now I think you should get us back because some of them are rushing toward us and are looking really rapey."

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    • "Orcs? Cute? Nah. Ya lost me right there."

      Story

      You and I are all who are left on this dying word. You may be my greatest rival...but no one wants to die alone, right?

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    • "Maybe if this was the 500th reply, but sadly for you it's not and I hold onto grudges forever! Now go fuck yourself!"

      Story

      "GO! GET TO DE CHOPPA!"

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    • "We can't! I don't like heights!"

      Story

      "Don't breathe in the gas! It's from Scarecrow Tengu!"

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    • I *twitch* see *twitch* crow tits!

      Story

      Stay behind me, Poison Alraune is in here somwhere...

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    • "But she's so...hot."

      I walk in the direction of the pheromones drooling.

      Story

      "Run! I don't care if that Hell Knight and Baron of Hell have become mamono we need to get out of here!"

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    • "Don't worry, I'm running. Right to the Hell Knightess!"

      Story

      We're stuck in this cabin until the snowstorm passes and there is no wood! Quick, hop under the blankets with me or we'll both freeze!

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    • "That's quite alright, I'll stick with this Yeti instead. Besides, you don't need to worry about freezing to death since you're already dead."

      Story

      There's the village and-oh no! Looks like the sacrifices are about to begin! Lava Golems are coming up the slope and one of them is sure to take your brother so we have to rescue him!

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    • What, and ruin his chances at the Lava golem speed date special? Noo, I can't do that, he'll be heartbroken!

      Story

      By Druella's orders, all single men in the country are to be given a mamono wife by ballot. Please, darling...agree to be mine. I'd hate to see you be given to a stinking Roper.

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    • "Too late doll, already have a Jinko wife."

      Story

      "Oh this is horrible! After Mintendo's collapse a company owned by a Lilim bought the Zéramon license and she's planning on making it a rated-M game with all of the Zéramon becoming mamono! This is truly the darkest day for the franchise!"

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    • Good thing I play the Ringworld series instead!

      Story

      (PFP) You thought it was going to be the phantom, but it was me! DIO!

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      • hits dio with a rolled up newspaper* “no! Bad!”

      Story

      “Is he gone? Are we alone now my love?”

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    • "Nope, he and his friends are still here and partying strong. As will I."

      Story

      "We need to go back and pick up our reinforcements! We've got to get out of here!"

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    • Little did she know, I ran away hours ago.

      Story

      “Fine then! If you’re gonna keep derailing my stories then we’ll just both sit here doing nothing until the end of time!”

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    • "You can sit there and do nothing. My time on this planet is finite!"

      Story

      "Honey, you know that Youko goddess who says she's going to turn the entire world into a Demon Realm at the end of the week unless she's satisfied? Well, I've been reading this prophecy and it says that only you can satisfy her lust. I've had to read it multiple times to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me and your name is on it. Could you take a look because I'm fairly sure there's been a mistake here?"

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    • "Nope, no mistake. I better get on that right now. See ya!" (sprints off singing Touch Fluffy Tail)

      Story

      "Not so fast! If you have to deal with that whoring fox, so be it! But I'm coming with you! To see to your safety of course."

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    • "Sorry! The prophecy say I have to go alone, no exceptions!"

      Story

      "Ara ara! Instead of running away, you walk towards me?"

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    • “Are you useing reverse psychology?”

      Story

      • looks like she’s making an agreement with a dark elf and Ocelomeh. Could be troublesome.*

      “Sweetheart, could you come over here for a second?

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    • "Can't, I'm late for cooking class. Gotta go!"

      Story

      "Run! The Satyros who has somehow become the ruler of Hell has arrived and she's brought Cerberus with her!"

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    • Why would I be running? I invited them here to have a few drinks with me.

      Story

      My love, after all these times that you have knocked me back, surely you can respect my persistence?

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    • "Who are you? I don't remember seeing you before".

      Story

      • Bound to a tree, surrounded by bandits. A riding knightess comes close, bearing a spear

      "Don't worry, my love, I will save you!"

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    • "Get out of here! We're trying to make a play here!"

      Story

      "We have to follow these pathways exactly. One misstep and we'll plummet into the Ghoul pit below."

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    • (RESURRECT!!!)

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    • Lifts a finger to say something, but then salutes as I lean backwards to fall into the pit.

      Story

      I heard you've always wanted to be smothered by a pair of thick thighs. *spreads legs* Now's your chance!

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    • "Eugh. I like em thick, but not ghostly thick."

      Story

      "Hon, I suggest you think about this. It says here that whatever game disc the sticker is attached to, it will suck both the attacher and whoever is close enough to him or her into the game world where every single creature and robot will be transformed into mamono versions of themselves. The last part states that we will be trapped in the game world permanently. With that out of the way I recommend that we destroy that sticker."

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    • JellyBeanBazooka wrote:
      "Hehehehe... 69."

      Is that an impossible quiz reference?

      Also, derailing:

      "Nah I'm good"

      Story:

      "You have saved me from the dragon! Now, come here for your reward~"

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    • "Actually, I came here to marry the dragon! Our love life has been kept secret for so long and it's finally time to share it with the world!"

      Story

      "Could you throw this water balloon at that Banshee down there? She's been crying for a half hour and it's interfering with my beauty sleep!"

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    • ("Nah I'm good!" was for you Flame)

      • picks up water balloon* *aims* turns and chucks it at phantom instead* Now go to and comfort that Banshee

      Story

      My twin sister and I are shooting an adult film with these jinko twins, but we need someone to operate the camera. If you do that, we might let you join in on the fun!

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    • "I shall remain abstinent until I am married. Good day to you ladies."

      Story

      "Keep an eye out for trouble and stick together. Spirits are said to have haunted this school for almost a century. I swear when I see that girl I'm gonna kick her ass for running in here alone."

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    • "...but that's child abuse"

      Story

      "I couldn't think of a good plot. If you help me, I might give you something in return~"

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    • "There's a good plot over there." *points to a large piece of farmland*

      Story

      "Ah, there you are Subject 38. I've already absorbed your brother 37, so once I've absorbed you I will finally become...perfect."

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    • "I suppose pressing this here self destruct button would fuck that up for you. Oh wait. Oops."

      Story

      "Your castle is burning. Your loyal soldiers have been put to the sword. And you...you belong to me!

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    • "You know what, you're right. This playthrough did not turn out like I had hoped. Time to reset the game and begin anew."

      Story

      "Could you please ditch the brightly colored hair? You look ridiculous!"

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    • (RESURRECT!)

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    • "Bitch don't kill my vibe!"

      Story

      I can make all your problems go away, Hun. I can make all your dreams come true. All ya got to do is give me what I want.

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    • "Cool, can you go away now?"

      Story

      "Did you miss your French lessons today!? Oh no! She's coming for you!"

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    • "Screw French, I'll just delete the app."

      Story

      "We are the last two people alive, we must repopulate the planet!"

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    • "Shark bit my dick off, sorry."

      Story

      "Okay, what will it take for you to do as little as lock pinkies with me?"

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    • "Nothing, because I'm not interested in you. Now BE GONE!"

      Story

      She is floating toward with an angry face and a riding crop. Ominous music plays in the background and you see a flaming red circle above your head.

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    • "Shit, time to tag in my backup!" A hulking green armoured man leaps between the Phantom and me as This song begins to play.

      Story

      You wake up dazed and confused. A nearby tv screen flicks on revealing the phantom. "I want to play a game" She tells you in a distorted voice.

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    • "Scrabble? Sorry? Trouble? Wait...the telephone game?"

      Story

      "Be watchful. The Cheshire Jinko is a tricky creature. Far more fearsome than a Cheshire Cat."

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    • "Oi! Don't say shit about my new missus!"

      Story

      I'll keep you safe, my love. That whoring Wight and her pet Lich can't reach you here.

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    • She turns to find me being hugged by the Wight and Lich.

      Phantom: "H-How did you...!?"

      Lich: "We followed you."

      Story

      A hulking Phantom armed with two heavy machineguns blocks the way forward. "You'll never save your precious prince!" she bellows out with a twisted grin as she opens fire (the bullets are made of DRS).

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    • When she finally stops shooting, she discovers that she was shooting at a decoy the whole time. Meanwhile, the prince was already escaping with me

      Story

      "I know we've been friends since we were in preschool, and you probably think of me as a sister, but..." *wipes away a tear* "I love you! I always have, and I just can't bear the thought of you being with anyone else, or even think about being with anyone other than you! So please..." she reaches a hand out to you and smiles warmly, "will you accept my confession and go out with me?"

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    • "The fact that you assumed that I thought of you as my sister just made this a thousand times more creepy."

      Story

      Honey, don't panic, but I think we woke up in one of your video games. And...for some reason all of the monsters are mamono. I think it's best we stick together until we figure out how to get back to our world.

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    • "Yeah, I know where we are. Can you speak Ukranian at all?"

      Story

      In the first age, in the first battle, when the shadows first lengthened, one stood.

      She chose the path of eternal yandere, scouring the wiki plains, seeking marriage with the derailers who had wronged her.

      And those that tasted the bite of her stories named her....The Doom Phantom.

      • Guitar riff*
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    • Wait, what kind if Yandere is she? Because if she's a worship type or something than I'd be willing to take her in.

      Story

      Oh no! You've been bitten by a poisonous snake! And in the dick even! I'm going to have to suck out the poison...

        Loading editor
    • That was actually an...Apophis.

      Story

      The Phantom armed with a sword is staring down a muscular three-headed Hellhound who is much taller than her. She shouts to you, "Get out of here! I'll keep her at bay!"

        Loading editor
    • "Taking all bets. ghost on musclegirl action! Get in while you can!"

      Story

      Oh ho, not who you were expecting? Don't worry, she's perfectly safe. As long as you take my hand in marriage.

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    • "Who's a good wittle poodle? Who's a good wittle poodle?" *pets the poodle much to the Phantom's annoyance*

      Story

      You're chilling in your apartment when you notice a large yellow eye peering at you from the window. You recognize it belonging to the Phantom who has somehow made herself a giant. "Hey there honey? Want to ride on my shoulder as we stroll across the countryside?" she asks with a grin.

        Loading editor
    • I literally just sat down for some toast. Sorry.

      Story

      Marry me or I'll chuck you in a the pool! Why's that bad I hear you ask? Well it's a pool full of starving slimes, that's why!

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    • "YAY! Slime party!" *jumps in the Slime pool*

      Story

      You're in an interrogation room. The Phantom sits across from you. In the corner stand a Raiju and a Dark Elf staring at you. A picture of a cargo truck surrounded by people, you being one of them, is placed in front of you by the Phantom.

      "You can cut the crap about not knowing what we're talking about. Where are the condom shipments going? Answer me honestly or the two ladies over there will have to get involved," the Phantom asks with a sneer.

        Loading editor
    • "Eh? That's just the lightning weasel appreciation society getting its latest shipment of Raiju body pillows!" *Wiggles eyebrows at the Raiju*

      The Phantom sits staring into a glass of gin. "Fucking Dragons, what have they got that I don't. They're rich? I'm rich! They're powerful? I'm powerful! What makes those scaly bitches so popular, huh?!"

        Loading editor
    • "Well, considering they can rend apart steel with their claws and breath fire, I'd say that puts them leagues above you."

      • dodges glass thrown by Phantom*

      Story

      It's late at night and you're in an alleyway surrounded by three scantily clad human women brandishing weapons laughing and discussing how they're going to rape you.

      All of a sudden, a dark figure appears and beats all three women into unconsciousness. The hero is revealed to be the Phantom who smiles at you and asks, "That takes care of those punks. Are you alright sir?"

        Loading editor
    • (This thread needs attention.)

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    • "You bleeding idiot! It was just a roleplay and these three girls are my friends!"

      The corridors are dark and you can hear some footsteps echoing the hall. They begin growl louder and closer to you. It is revealed that it is a phantom, weilding a knife covered in red liquid.

      "Senpai, don't run away from me, I just want to give you my love." She says as she wears a maniac grin on her face.

        Loading editor
    • holds phone with 911 already dialed "Yes officer, she's right here."

      STORY

      "The dragon and hellhound are fighting for you! Quick, run into the woods while they're distracted!"

        Loading editor
    • "Screw you! I'm watching this fight! Kick her ass Hellhound!"

      Story

      "Where's the gun!? The zombies are almost in!"

        Loading editor
    • "I invited them over for a game of pin the tail on the centaur, you meanie." 

      Story



      "You can only save one of us! Do you choose me, or your brother?"

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    • "You're already dead, but my brother is a piece of shit and the bane of my resistance, so..." *leaves*

      Story

      She pops out of a six foot tall birthday cake with her naughty bits covered in ribbons and a bow. "Happy birthday! Time for you to open up your present!"

        Loading editor
    • "You monster! You ruined the cake!"

      Story

      A gigantic Kakuen is climbing a skyscraper and the Phantom is trapped in her fist. She cries out to you, "HELP ME!!! THIS GIANT BRUTE HAS ME!!!"

        Loading editor
    • "She's not a brute, you insensitive ghost. Just lonely and lost."



      Story



      "Hurry! While the Dragon is asleep, we can run in and take her treasure!"

        Loading editor
    • (bump)

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    • "On it!" Runs off with the sleeping dragon in my arms*

      Story

      You are currently gagged and alone with her, and she is licensed and officiating her own wedding. "If anyone has any objections to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace!."

        Loading editor
    • "I object!" an Ogre screams as she bursts through the doors of the chapel much to the anger of the Phantom.

      Story

      "Water is flooding the sub fast! We need to find a way out!"

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    • "Joke's on you, I have my Mershark girlfriend on speed dial."


      Story

      "I've braved the demon realms and harshest of environments to bring you this rare flower."

        Loading editor
    • "Thanks, but you were supposed to bring me Cyberpunk 2077! Go back out there and do it right!"

      Story

      "Remember, once you finish that donut I own your soul for all eternity!"

        Loading editor
    • *grabs infinity gauntlet and snaps to make doughnut whole again ad infinitum* "Your move."

      Story

      "Oh, you've beaten me in a pokemon battle, but I have no money. Maybe there's some other way I can pay you? Hmm?" *lifts skirt*

        Loading editor
    • "I WANT YOUR HAT"

      "Wait what" " GIVE ME YOUR HAT NOW"

      • The phantom is utterly confused and just gives me her hat, as i add it to my vast hat collection

      Story

      "O lovely bard, will you not play me a song?"

        Loading editor
    • "Ok m'lady here's a song, specially for you: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Wn_lfATheJ0"

      "This is your landlord and you haven't paid your debt. But, maybe I can let you pay in "another" way." She smiles seductively as she says that.

        Loading editor
    • "Living in a box has always been my dream, so pass!"

      Story

      "Egads! The Dark Elf and Hellhound are nearly at our door! Quick, fuck me senseless-I mean kiss me so they'll see you're taken!"

        Loading editor
    • "Actually, I invited them here for dinner."

      Story

      "Stay away from that Weresheep! She's infected with the Hellhound virus!"

        Loading editor
    • (XcruciateMagmus: Hey! I was about to post that!)

      *is wearing a red hood* "Uh, no. That's my wife, she's not infected with anything, we're just doing a little bit of roleplay, so can you leave?"

      Story

      *handcuffs you two together* "Wanna get pizza?"

        Loading editor
      • breaks out of handcuffs* "I'm broke, sorry."

      Story

      "Worry not my prince, for I have come to rescue you from the evil Queen! Take my hand and we shall escape together!"

        Loading editor
    • (@Jelly: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QBwH6AMQNt4) (I changed the link cause the previous one was deleted by the user.)

        Loading editor
    • "Actually, the queen just wanted relationship advice."

      story

      "oh no! a wurm is prowling the area! quick, let's hide!"

        Loading editor
    • (bump)

        Loading editor
    • "Got it AAIIIIEEEEE!!! Oh jeez sorry a plant pricked me oh jeez it's the Wurm!"

      Story

      "You've been watching that Minotaur and Jinko mud wrestle for nearly half an hour. Come, let's head back to our manor and relax."

        Loading editor
    • "No, I placed a bet on that Jinko!"

      Story

      "Run! The Jabberwock has come for your dick! Your...thick...enchanting...dick..."

        Loading editor
    • "No, she's coming for you because you have her dragon eggs!"

      Story

      The Phantom is in a tug-of-war with a Hellhound and you're being dragged between a summoning circle.

      "This man is mine!" the Phantom snaps.

      "Screw you!" the Hellhound yells.

        Loading editor
    • (RESUSCITATE!)

        Loading editor
    • "Would you let go off me or do I need to call Tenasee to handle this."

      Story

      "Never fear my love, by the power of my Belmont family, I will rescue you from the evil vampire that has captured you!"

        Loading editor
    • "Do you mind not crashing our wedding? You're upsetting my wife, which reminds me. I do!" *kisses vampire*

      Story

      *Drugs the food you're eating with potion of pedomorphosis while you're not looking* *comes back when you've shrunk* "Ara Ara! What have we here? Do you want to play a 'special' game with me, sweetie?"

        Loading editor
    • "POLICE, I'M ABOUT TO BE RAPED!!!"

      Story

      "Thank goodness you're alright! You almost drowned in that river!"

        Loading editor
    • "Hey I was trying to look for Undine titties there!"

      Story

      "Ara ara, seems like the bandit caught the little helpless princess. Oh woe is me! What will you do to me?" *lifts her skirt and exposes her breasts a little*

        Loading editor
    • "I'll slit your throat if you don't give me every last piece of coin in your possession!"

      Story

      "That's a Goliath over there. Don't shoot off his helmet or he'll rage."

        Loading editor
    • "F--k you! I want the extra xp!" *caps off the top of his helm, pulling out his best gun for the imminent roid rage

      Story

      "Quick, take my hand! There's a storm outside and you'll be engulfed otherwise!"

        Loading editor
    • "That's just Claire. For a Thunderbird she can be pretty energetic. Someone must have given her a red bull again." *groans*

      Story

      • gender bent Phantom of the Opera* "Sing my angel of music! Sing for me!"
        Loading editor
    • "Eww, I'm out of here!"

      Story

      "Ah, the perfect man. Austrailian, can wrestle sharks, and a mighty body. Come with me would you? I'd like to...test your skills."

        Loading editor
    • "NO WAY, I'M LOOKING FOR YETIS!"

      Story

      "Open up! Your payment's due!"

        Loading editor
    • Sadly for her, he already moved out.

      Story

      If you don't like me, why did you pay me for a private burlesque show?

        Loading editor
    • "Wait what are you-oh my lord that damn Danuki set me up!" *storms out of the establishment fuming*

      Story

      "Honey come quick! Something's happening outside!" the Phantom calls, gesturing you over to the window where there is a bright light outside. However, this is a distraction to allow a Mindflayer to sneak up behind you and slip her tentacles into your mind.

        Loading editor
    • "I have never met you before in my life, and Gretchen so help me God I swear if you stick that tentacle in me I'm ripping it off and strangling you with it!"

      Story

      You wake up next to her in bed. "Oh, you're awake! Last night was amazing!~♡ Can we pwease do it again baby?" She pouts while stroking your chest.

        Loading editor
    • My body becomes translucent and I phase through the bed, descending through the earth until I arrive in Hell where a smiling three-headed Hellhound greets me with, "Oh look, you're back!"

      Story

      This town can twist your worst nightmares into horrifying monsters. If we stick together we'll be safer.

        Loading editor
    • "You mean......." *accidentally thinks of futa-darkelf-hellhound-matango-litch* *leaves*

      Story

      "I.......I..... I WANT TO HAVE UNPROTECTED HANDHOLDING!"

        Loading editor
    • I look at the Ryu to my right, then the Dragon to my left, "My hands are full."

      Story

      H-handholding?... w-w-with two girls at once? YOU PERVERT!!!

        Loading editor
    • "You are like a little baby. watch this."

      Headpats 2 hellhounds at once

      Story

      "well, look like it's just the two of us on this deserted island..."

        Loading editor
    • I cut my hand and stick it in the water. "Oh, don't let me ruin your vacation, alone, on this Island. I'm just calling my ride."

      Suddenly a mershark arrives and I disappear below the waves.

      Story

      "It seems you've failed your final exam, again. Seems like you're going to have to go to summer school and repeat this year, or..." *partially unbuttons blouse* "You can earn some, extra credit..."

      (EDIT: Did not See yours till I hit refresh, sorry Magmatic.)

        Loading editor
    • "I'm reporting you to the Teacher's Association for indecent exposure."

      Story

      "Sir, I clocked you at eighty and you have condoms in your car which are illegal contraband. However, I could look the other way if you...do something for me."

      She shakes her breasts and licks her lips.

        Loading editor
    • "Is that a fake badge you're wearing?"

      Story

      "My dear sweet prince, with true love's kiss, I will awaken you from your slumber and we can finally run away together."

        Loading editor
    • "I'M TRYING TO SLEEP"

      Story

      "We're stuck on this space shuttle until we get back online...what to do..."

        Loading editor
    • "Peace out," I say just before jumping into an escape pod and begin dropping toward a planet owned by powerful Amazonian women.

      Story

      "Welcome to your office Mr. Mayor. I'll be your secretary and will help you ensure that things run smoothly in town. If you need a way to blow off some steam, then I'm always available."

      She then winks at you.

        Loading editor
    • "You're fired."

      Story

      "Oh no, canine mamono are everywhere! I see a werewolf headed your way, hide here!"

        Loading editor
    • "Werewolf? Oh, yea, that's Tanya, my wife"

      • The man runs over to the particular canine woman affiliated with a spiked black collar adorned with a single wedding ring attached to it, only to be lunged at by said woman, relieved to see her mate safe amidst this chaos. Largely ignored by the rest, she softly rubs her nose against his, a smile arming her teeth and clawed hands resting on his thorax.

      Story

      "You have been selected for a random 'extended' searched, traveler. Leave your bagage here and let us go to the searchign room for a 'deep' analysis".

        Loading editor
    • "Uhhhh...I just got finished with examination a couple minutes ago."

      Story

      "That idiot CEO opened the portal and Hellhounds are pouring out! Quick, get in this escape pod with me!"

        Loading editor
    • "Wait, wait, wait. I already have a hellhound girlfriend. I have no stake in this. Are you here on the behalf of this old janitor? Seriously? Dude, tell him we were willing to clean up the mess we inadvertably did. He can't just discriminate them all because we accidentally knocked over his stuff, that's not fair! I ain't moving, gal, she's picking me up after work!"

      Story

      "Muhahaha! I got you dangling by yer fillies, land-lover! Now, thee fate can end at the bottom of Davey Jone's locker, or at my quarters for some 'trasure hunting'? What say you?"

        Loading editor
    • (EDIT: didn't see yours till i refreshed, sorry dud)

      • is immediately taken away by a kraken

      Story

      "You'll never make me confess to the wherabouts of the demon realm silver stockpile, even if you fuck me senseless!"

        Loading editor
    • "Where's my damn teddy bear!?"

      Story

      "Holy crap I never thought we'd get out of that aquatic base! Well, now that we're at a safe distance, what do you say we make a pit stop and celebrate? We still have three hours of oxygen left."

        Loading editor
    • "You're a ghost, you don't need oxygen.I on the other hand, do so..."

      • Grabs the attention of a passing mershark and asks her to take me to the surface

      Story

      "Oh thank god, my pizza's here! But I don't have any money... perhaps I can pay you in another way, mmm~?"

        Loading editor
    • "Lady, I have a rent to make, bills to pay, and car to pay off. If you can't pay for the pizza, you're not getting the pizza."

      Story

      "Okay man, not cool. You know how much work I put into these stories? Why do you do this to me? Huh?"

        Loading editor
    • "Wynaut?"

      Story

      "Fine, can we at least go fishing? No sexual shenanigans or whatever, just....fishing."

        Loading editor
    • "Eh, cool, I guess".

      • And there he went, casting a line alongside some previously shading lady for her refusal to move from her eye bands. Christopher had a fine time casting his line in cojunction to her. A simple story, etched in her mind. A slow uprising to a nascent relationship. Unfortunately, this also means picking out a new hopeful or arrogant to derail over...and over again.

      Story

      Ok, I'm the new phantom here. And I hear some like derailing. Well, it ain't happening! Why? Bam! You're in a hostage situation, daggers at your throat. And here I am, waiting to rescue you for some due fun int he bedroom afterward. Any inflation not in the lines of 'please save me!' is getting you shived. Pronto!

        Loading editor
    • "DAMMIT DON'T INTERRUPT MY MAGIC ACT-"

      • gets shanked and dies

      Story

      "OH JESUS THAT WASN'T WHAT I WAS EXPECTING, UH, HOW DO YOU REVIVE A DEAD GUY?!"

        Loading editor
    • "Don't look at me, I'm just a passing civilian. Have fun explaining this mess to the public!"

      Story

      The Phantom, powered by the forces of Demonic Energy, approaches you with a sinister grin followed by a team of powerful Jinkos. "You thought you could avoid me, but there is no changing fate. Now here we are, and there is no escape."

        Loading editor
    • "Is that Rhonda over there? Hey, how've you been?"

      • converses with one of the jinkoes until the phantom gets bored

      Story

      "Oh dear, we're trapped on an island full of kakuens! We need to do something before one of them takes your banana!"

        Loading editor
      • stops eating last chocolate dipped banana* Uhhhhh....... *runs into jungle alone.

      Story

      "I have returned from the grave to be with you my love!"

        Loading editor
    • "NOOOOO DON'T TAKE MY SOUL!!! I WANTED TO BECOME A CLOWN!"

      Story

      "We're on a train that's going 120mph. If you try to derail the story then this whole train will fly off the rails and the results will no doubt be nasty. Now follow me to my quarters would you?"

        Loading editor
    • Magmatic Dinosaur Char
      Magmatic Dinosaur Char removed this reply because:
      q
      01:08, August 16, 2019
      This reply has been removed
      • Jumps out of the train and breaks every last bone in my body

      Story

      "Well, the doctor says you'll make a full recovery but you'll need to be in a wheelchair for 3 months....and you'll need someone to tend to you..."

        Loading editor
    • "No worries, the nice Ryu from the temple down the way decided to help me out and keep me company."

      Story

      "Help me! The Grim Reaper is here and trying to take me to the afterlife! If you don't save me, I'll be doomed for sure!!!"

        Loading editor
    • "Why would he come after you!? You're already dead so he should be leaving you be if anything!"

      Story

      "That damm Ocelomeh barbarian is here and she's after me! Protect me!"

        Loading editor
    • "You're a Phantom! Put on a show that will make her stop or something."

      Story.

      "At long last! I've captured you! Now, for my first order as your new mistress, give me a kiss!"

        Loading editor
    • "Fuck this shit, I'm out."

      Story

      "Here's your pizza! You have a tip for me?"

        Loading editor
    • "Yeah. Life gives and takes. Good day."

      Story

      You and the Phantom are tied up in a room at opposite ends. A sadistic Ocelomeh stands in the center and asks, "Who should I start with?

      "Leave him be! I'm the one you want!" the Phantom shouts at the captor.

        Loading editor
    • "DAMMIT, CAN YOU NOT MESS AROUND WITH THE EXPERIENCE?!"

      The Ocelomeh just gives her an incredibly disappointed look. "Get out."

      Story

      The phantom is just grinding her teeth in frustration. "What do those stupid other mamono have that I don't? Love? I have plenty of that! Smarts? I have way more brains than them! Strength? I'm strong!"

        Loading editor
    • (bump)

        Loading editor
    • "I think the main draw compared to you is that most of them don't trick us. try asking one of us out on a date normally."

      story

      "fine, not like I've had any success with trickery. would you like to go on a date with me?

        Loading editor
    • "Sure."

      Another Phantom races in crying, "Wait! That's my evil twin!"

      The two Phantoms then have a catfight.

      Story

      You and the Phantom are racing through the forest in a jeep when an angry Jinko drops onto the front of it and screams, "Give us back the artifact you stole!"

      "Shake her off honey!" the Phantom shouts at you as she reaches for a pistol that is loaded with DRS bullets.

        Loading editor
      • gives the jinko the artifact, apologizes, and kicks away the gun

      Story

      "THE VIETKAKUEN! THEY'RE IN THE TREES!"

        Loading editor
    • "Whoa whoa whoa! I am not following along on that!"

      Story

      You're in a room with a Phantom psychiatrist who asks you, "So these various Phantoms have tried to wrap you into their stories and each time you've shot them down? Care to tell me how long this has been going on and if you feel that there may be a pathway to reconciliation?"

        Loading editor
    • Magmatic Dinosaur Char
      Magmatic Dinosaur Char removed this reply because:
      y
      23:53, August 21, 2019
      This reply has been removed
    • "A few weeks, and yes. I don't really care."

      Story


      "If you don't profess your love to me I'll derail this train into a jungle full of Jinkos in heat!"

        Loading editor
    • "Do it then! I don't mind some Jinkos!"

      Story

      "You're late to our Monsters & Mistresses game. You know what the punishment is."

        Loading editor
    • "What? This isn't the football club but instead where all the fucking nerds hangout? HA! Put down the book and little toys four eyes! And hit the gym!"

      Story

      You are the ruler of the underworld and land of the dead, bringing several different souls in each day to be judged. One day, it's a phantom. She falls to her knees begging for mercy.

      "Oh please! Your unholyness, have mercy on my soul and atleast make my damnation merciful! I-I'll be your personal slut for all eternity!~ Just please be kind..."

        Loading editor
    • "wut?   I thought that the job description was saying which souls deserved to be reborn." *turns to nearby servent* "how many souls have i misjudged? that many? oops my bad."



      story



      "I WONT LET YOU LEAVE UNTIL YOU PROMISS TO BE MINE AND MINE ALONE AND THAT YOU WONT EVEN THINK OF ANOTHER WOMAN!!!!! AND IF YOU REFUSE I"LL GET RID OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!!"

        Loading editor
    • "Everyone I know has a gun so...bye!"

      Story

      "WOOHOO I won the race! Now I get you as my trophy husband!"

        Loading editor
      • is already kissing the anubis who organized the race

      "Nope."

      Story

      "I have returned from the grave to give the living haircuts!"

        Loading editor
    • "You can have this hair when you pry it from my cold dead hands, and even then good luck! Because I will have glued it to my cold dead hands!"


      Story


      "And IIIIIIIEEEIIIIIIIIEEEEEIIIII.....Will always love YOOOOOOOOU!~"

        Loading editor
    • "That's great singing, now get out of here before my Shirohebi wife shows up and thinks that I'm cheating on you."

      Story

      "By the gods, Mersharks are surrounding the boat! You're Austrailian aren't you!? Fight them off or something!"

        Loading editor
      • currently playing rock paper scissors with a shark

      Story

      "Careful, in this desert lies a particularly strong apophis... under her breath who keeps getting in my way of obtaining a husband.."

        Loading editor
    • Swallowed_By_Sand_Worm.Jpg

      Story

      "To Love! Or not to Love...To fuck~ Or not to fuck...That is the question!"

        Loading editor
    • "Lady, you're weird. How about you say that in the drama club instead of the music hall.

      Story

      "This whole island's falling apart! Hurry and hop on the plane before the lava gets here!"

        Loading editor
    • The dude is already neck deep in hot, liquid rock.

      "Naw, I'm good..."

      Story

      "What are you doing stepbro?"

        Loading editor
    • "playing with a rusty knife."

      Story


      "My Lord! You need to produce an heir to inherit the kingdom. I am more than willing to be your concubine."

        Loading editor
    • "Sorry, but I already found one."

      A Dark Elf then enters much to the chagrin of the Phantom.

      Story

      "Well, here we are. Infiltrating a zombie infested city to get a little black box. You nervous?"

        Loading editor
    • "Wait! We're going through undead hell and high water for a black box?! Fucking seriously?! I'm leaving, you can get it yourself!!!"

      Story

      You are in a tavern, waiting quietly at a table to order your food. A phantom walks over to you, wearing a tavern maiden costume that revealed both way to much cleavage and legs.

      "Hello good sir! Sorry for the wait, what did you wish to order?"

        Loading editor
    • "I already ordered my burger from the Hellhound Waitress over there."

      Story

      "Join me, and I will make your face the greatest in Koridai! Or else your virginity will die."

        Loading editor
    • "Ha! Please lady, I already have the greatest face around. You touching it would ruin its already perfect complexion. And I have attracted many maidens, so my virginity is nonexistent."

      Story

      "Hey there. Would you like to go out on a date with me? I know of a fine restaurant close by and I'll pay for all the food."

        Loading editor
    • "...Y'know what? at least you're honest this time. Fine." And with that, this phantom finally found a happy ending. The new phantom just stares dumbfounded.

      STORY

      "Wait, what?! How come she manages to nail a man without even resorting to elaborate fantasy?"

        Loading editor
    • (bump)

        Loading editor
    • "that's all we want. For you phantoms to be honest and ask us out instead of trying to trick us."

      Story


      "Finally the spell is finished! Now neither of us can be any farther than 15 feet away from each other! And before you  complain I could've made it 5 feet instead."

        Loading editor
    • "That's why I got super far away from you before you used it!"

      Story

      The Phantom is glaring at you as she wields a morningstar, her teeth gritted in anger from the sight of the Satyros in bed with you.

      "Care to tell me why you have a goat woman in our bed?" she hisses at you.

        Loading editor
    • "Our bed?! BITCH! Who the hell are you?! How'd you get in my house?! And why are you acting like you're my wife?! This 'goat woman' is my wife!"

      Story

      A Phantom wanders around a town at midnight, everyone is completely terrified of the spectre. She is calling out in a hauting voice...

      "WHERE'S THE BLACKSMITH?!?"

        Loading editor
      • steps outside while in pajamas* "SHUT UP!!!!! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

      story

      "Don't worry my love! I'll save you from the darkness and then we can finally embrace eachother!"

        Loading editor
    • "That 'darkness' is my Nurarihyon wife. Now please leave us be."

      Story

      "That horror movie was great. You were practically holding onto me the entire time. Let's do that and more when we get back home."

      She winks at you suggestively.

        Loading editor
    • "Hey, this isn't the movie I wanted to see!"

      Story

      "WAIT DON'T DERAIL THIS STORY, I'LL GIVE YOU A COOKIE IF YOU DON'T"

        Loading editor
    • (bomp)

        Loading editor
    • "sorry,but I'm trying to lose weight"

      Story

      "I don't care what our parents say! I know that you are the only one for me."

        Loading editor
    • "My parents would disown me if they found out I was dating a ghost. Plus I like my royal status so buck off you bum!"

      Story

      "Honey! There's this weird glowing green symbol in our backyard! Could you go check it out please?"

        Loading editor
    • "Firstly, that's just a bunch of glow sticks on the ground, you're not even trying. Secondly, this is my house and I didn't invite you. get out."

      Story

      "QUICK DON'T THINK ABOUT CATGIRLS-AND HOPEFULLY NOT JINKOS!"

        Loading editor
    • (bump)

        Loading editor
      • punches her in the nose*

      Story

      "Alright sweetie... this is the story of how you took me up to your bedroom and dominantly ravaged me in a frenzied bout of consensual sex. If you derail it, I will rape you into oblivion!"

        Loading editor
    • "Uhhh...we never agreed to this. The story was supposed to be us out on a nice peaceful picnic."

      Story

      "Quick, for this mech to be operational we must have intercourse! Now hurry before they capture the other city blocks!"

        Loading editor
    • "No."

      • jumps into a mechagodzilla and destroys the city

      Story

      "Egads! Dragons everywhere! Oh brave knight, do something!"

        Loading editor
    • (bump for the umpteenth time)

        Loading editor
    • (If you keep bumping, you'll get sore elbows you know!)

      "OK!"

      The brave Knight then proceeds to hand you his armor and sword before booking it.

      Story

      "Ara ara~ What do we have he-"

      Before the phantom could finish her sentence and descend on the little boy, she cops a arm to her face, clothes lining her. The man who knocked out the Pedro-ghost is non other than Chris Hanson.

      "Are you okay kid? Did she touch you?"

        Loading editor
    • "Kid!?! I am a monster from the time of the former demon Lords! I was waiting for her to get close enough for me to turn her into ectoplasm!"

      Story

      "It is only a matter of time before you become mine. Unfortunately for you, I have all the time in the world."

        Loading editor
    • "No, you have until I find anotjer girl to stick my dick in. I suggest you hurry."

      Story

      "FUUUUUUUUCK MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" The Phantom has launched herself at you, a dildo in one hand and a string of condome with holes poked through them in the other.

        Loading editor
      • Dodges her like he's from the Matrix*

      Story

      "Oh no, I've failed to stop the villain! Oh what horrible tortures await me?"

        Loading editor
    • "Your paycheck being cut."

      • the phantom faints in horror upon hearing that

      Story

      • the phantom bursts out of a fridge

      "I am full of sandwiches, and I am coming for you!"

        Loading editor
    • "You swallowed all of the sandwiches whole? That's gonna cause indigestion ma'am."

      Story

      "Hey honey! I know how much you love fluffy stuff, so I brought over a Wererabbit so we can have a three way!"

        Loading editor
      • HOLY HAND GRENADE

      Story

      "I baked you a pie!"

        Loading editor
    • "A pie?" Jenson took a look around, seeking out any trap, any snare. There was none.

      "Yes! I thought that...maybe we could just go for a walk? No overly fancy story, just two souls looking to know each other".

      Jenson took a piece, tasting it. He loved it "Wow I...I didn't take you for a cook. I'd like that..."

      Their hands joined, Jenson and the phantom walked back inside, sitting face-to-face at the kitchen where their love for sweet aromas would swell and waxe.

      Story

      "Aw, how cute...but boring!"

      • A new phantom has arrived

      "You and me. A duel at the bridge. Loser obeys the winner at anything! Anything".

        Loading editor
    • "I'm out. Bye!"

      Story

      "Get behind me and unlock that door! We need to get out of here before that Hell Jinko arrives and this gun only has so many bullets!"

        Loading editor
    • "Good thing I have a self -destuct button on my elbow!" 

      Story


      "I know you love me , so why are you doing this?"

        Loading editor
    • Magmatic Dinosaur Char
      Magmatic Dinosaur Char removed this reply because:
      e
      14:23, September 26, 2019
      This reply has been removed
    • "I don't. Go away or I'll make you go away."

      Story

      • The phantom shows up with a bird head

      "ZE BIRD HEAD IS PURE AGONY! maniacal laughter"

        Loading editor
    • "Guys... I think we broke her..."

      Stort

      The Phantom sits in a padded room with a straight jacket on, giggling about bird heads and derailed stories.

        Loading editor
    • "Well, that happened. Anyone wanna go play Team Fortress 2?" 

      The phantom meanwhile is spouting random nonsense about laying eggs.

      Story

      "Um...I'm the new phantom, can you...not break my psyche like you did the last one?"

        Loading editor
    • "Fine...I'LL BREAK YOUR HEAD INSTEAD!" *baseball bat phases through the head of the confused Phantom*

      Story

      "You know locking me out isn't going to help you right? I can just phase through the door."

        Loading editor
    • "That's why I have a door that blocks ghosts too!"

      Story

      "If you marry me I'll be able to erase all loli mamono from existence!"

        Loading editor
    • "No thanks! It's better to have them run in terror with my Oppai Cannon!"

      Story

      "That fortress is heavily guarded by Lava Golems, Hinezumis, and Hellhounds. Let's work together to sneak in and steal the treasure."

        Loading editor
    • "No worries, this salamander here has me covered!"

      Story

      The phantom floats in, high out of her mind and holding a blunt

      "Heyman, you wanna try some of this weed?"

        Loading editor
    • "Weed is illegal you know."

      Story

      "Oh no! The villain has captured me! Oh what vile, perverse wrongdoings do you have planned for me you cruel being?"

      She shakes her breasts at you.

        Loading editor
    • "Feed her to the ghost crocodiles. She serves no use unless she has information I can use to destroy the 'hero.'"

      Story

      "Join my poetry club!"

        Loading editor
    • "Only if you read all the wangsty bullshit I wrote back in highschool English."

      Story

      "Well, hero. You've finally tracked me down, Now prepare yourself for my most mighty attack! YOU ARE DOOMED! mwahahaha!"

      (Hi there fellas, ya miss me?)

        Loading editor
      • knocks her out with a KO grenade* "What? Always strike first."

      Story

      "Look out! It's a Badass Hellhound! One of the most terrifying monsters of the Borderlands!"

      (Good to see you again Rapture!)

        Loading editor
    • "Whats this? a demon silver Vladof machine gun? Well then...bring it ya horny mongrel!"

      Story

      Oh Maou! It's the heavenly host! Run before those Archangels break in!

        Loading editor
    • "They ain't gonna hurt me! They'll definitely hurt you though!"

      Story

      "Oh my gosh we made it! And not a moment too soon. We're safe in this bank thanks to the lights protecting us from the horrors outside, so what do you say we celebrate this close call with some...intimacy?"

        Loading editor
    • "HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE!?!?!?!?!"

      story

      "no matter what, I will always be by your side. Even if you don't see me, I will be there."

        Loading editor
    • "I'm filing a restraning order."

      Story

      • the phantom shows up dressed in leather

      "Snap my choker."

        Loading editor
    • "No you masochistic pervert."

      Story

      "Our time in the Escape Room will be lovely!"

        Loading editor
    • "Okay, since you're the 250th reply, you get a pass. No sex, just a chat over tea."

      Story

      "Hey nerds, I'm the new phantom! You aren't derailing me! Why? Bam! We're on a train and the switch has been busted!"

        Loading editor
    • "And you're still on it ya dumb bitch!" *firey explosion*

      Story

      (She's wearing bat wings and a horns headband) "Phantom? What Phantom? I'm just your everyday run of the mill Succubus! Say, want to go for a drink?"

        Loading editor
    • "You're so bad at disguises it's not even funny."

      Story

      "If you want that promotion, then show me how badly you want it." *she gets into a suggestive position on her desk*

        Loading editor
    • "Actually, I'm resigning. Expect to hear from my lawyer about all the sexual harrasment."

      Story

      (Now she has an equally bad Danuki disguise) So I'm afraid to say that your loan application has been denied. However if you do me a few favours *wink wink* I might reconsider...

        Loading editor
      • holds katana

      "This has killed three hundred men. If you're going to get me to kill someone, where to?"

      • the phantom leaves in horror

      "...PFFFFT, she actually believed that?"

      Story

      • the phantom is now in a slightly worse kakuen costume

      "I'd shower you with coconut cream pies~"

        Loading editor
    • "I don't like coconut cream pie, and I wouldn't accept it from a Phantom either."

      Story

      "As long as we're in this tank their bullets won't hurt us! Now FORWARD!!!"

        Loading editor
    • "what does this button do?"

      • Presses self-destruct button*

      Story

      "Ma

      Maybe I should try some preexisting  fariy tales"

        Loading editor
    • "I call dibs on being the villain who dies horrifically."

      • the phantom backtracks in horror

      Story

      "okay uh....can we just have a pizza? nothing fancy?"

        Loading editor
    • "Yeah, can I have some boneless pizza?"

      The Phantom gives you a flat look.

      Story

      The Phantom is a powerful Goddess who beckons you closer and says with a seductive grin, "If you wish to save the mortals of your world, then satisfy my lust and I won't punish them."

        Loading editor
    • Another Goddess crosses the threshold, folding her three arms in great disapproval. Alongside her, a vase, a sigil and an olive branch, all illuminated in a vibrant silver.

      She glares solely at the overreaching deity, eyes without lids or irises, her voice, a swath in the void [AND WHO ARE YOU TO TRY TO COERCE A DENIZEN TO YOUR PETTY HEAT!? DO YOU THINK I WOULD SIMPLY LET THIS GO UNHINGED?!]

      Story

      “Dear oh dear, I have nothing to purchase your splendid apples. But, surely we can come to another term of payment? My grandma dearly needs this early apples”

        Loading editor
    • "And I dearly need to get money. If you can't pay, get out."

      Story

      A charcoal-grey dragon and a golden jabberwock are engaging in a duel

      "Come, join me in the bunker so we'll be safe from their fierce fight!"

        Loading editor
    • "Nah, I'm fine on this hilltop. Kick her butt Jabberwock!"

      Story

      "Nice gun. Ohhhh...you look like you want to do something naughty to me. Well, I won't resist."

        Loading editor
    • Magmatic Dinosaur Char
      Magmatic Dinosaur Char removed this reply because:
      yes
      14:05, October 4, 2019
      This reply has been removed
      • just fucking shoots her

      Story

      you're in a hospital as the phantom shows up in a nurse outfit

      "You'll be here for quite a while...how about I give you some special treatment?"

        Loading editor
    • three minutes later I am moved to the psychiatric  ward.

      Story

      "Forget about the chief God and the order and focus on me."

        Loading editor
    • "no. DEUS VULT!"

      Story

      "WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME?!"

        Loading editor
    • "COOKIES!!!"

      Story

      "Hey dipstick, why'd you just try to shoot me? You know I'm a spectral being right?"

        Loading editor
      • grabs box, crate of beers, and a guitar

      "Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer, and that means I solve problems. Not problems like 'what is beauty,' because that would fall within the purviews of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems."

      BANG BANG

      • A jinko is heard getting wasted

      "For instance, how am I gonna stop some big mean old ghostly mother hubbard from dragging me into structually superfluous stories to make me pound her behind? The answer-"

      BANG

      "-Use a gun. And if that don't work-"

      • rockets are fired

      "-Use more gun."

      • A ghost is heard getting wasted as well

      "Like this, heavy caliber tripod mounted little old number designed by me."

      BANG

      "Built by me."

      BANG

      "And you'd best hope-not pointed at you."

      • the campfire I'm using is revealed to be a wasted Ignis, as sentries lay waste to every approaching monster, even keeping ghosts away as the Phantom just leaves the scene

      Story

      She's just trying to rape you and then dump you in a sex dungeon she made in 10 minutes to milk you dry, dark-elf style.

        Loading editor
    • (bump lol)

        Loading editor
    • "These DE tasers really hurt aye?" *the Phantom lies in a twitching heap*

      Story

      "How about we just chill out and watch a movie? I'll even let you pick what it is."

        Loading editor
    • "No, I'm reading Empress Theresa right now and holy crap it's amazing!"

      Story

      "Let us hurry back to the empire prince, for I have defeated the fearsome Minotaur and will soon have your hand in marriage!"

      (May want to tone the violence down there Magmatic.)

        Loading editor
    • "YOU BEAT UP MY MISSUS?! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!"

      Story

      "I've entered myself into the all-undead cocksucking competition. Want to be my partner?"

        Loading editor
    • (I mean, the only thing that could "waste" a ghost is probably DRS. DW, they're fine-just out like lights.)

      "No, I'm going to the Dragoon Training Academy with my wyvern girlfriend."

      • The phantom backs away as an angry wyvern death glares her

      Story

      "WHAT IS IT WITH ALL THESE OTHER MAMONO DERAILING MY STORIES?! FIRST IT WAS THAT STUPID COW AND NOW OVERSIZED LIZARDS!"

        Loading editor
    • "would you rather have them be derailed by an abomination from the old world? If so I can happily oblige."


      Story



      • She's crying in the corner of the room now.*
        Loading editor
    • "Oh you'll get over it. You have an entire eternity to do so!"

      Story

      "You better marry me, otherwise my dad will send his aquatic forces to invade your kingdom."

        Loading editor
    • "my kingdom fell over a century ago."

      Story

      "I beg of you! Tell me what I can do to make you love me!"

        Loading editor
    • "But I don't love you. I love my guns!"

      Story

      "Oh jeez, Mother Matriarch's found us! Hurry, get in the truck before her army gets here!"

        Loading editor
    • "Too late" *Is swamped by Dullahans*

      Story

      "Hey does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

        Loading editor
      • holds other rag

      "Hey, does this rag smell like DRS?"

      • shoves it in her face and runs as she passes out

      Story

      "I'll wrestle a Jinko for you!"

        Loading editor
    • "Don't you DARE lay a finger on my wife!"

      Story

      A small band of Minotaurs pound at the doors to your home and the Phantom hides behind you crying, "Don't let them get me!"

      "Let us at that scam artist!" one of the Minotaurs roars.

        Loading editor
    • "By all means, go ahead."

      Story

      • The phantom shows up dressed in clown getup

      "Hey, you wanna honk my horns and deliver some cream pies?"

      by all means be free to go full joker for this one lol

        Loading editor
    • "CLOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

      • hides under bed*


      STORY



      "Don't worry my love, I'll take care until you get your  memory back."

        Loading editor
    • "I already remember. I remember that I have a wife who ISN'T you."

      Story

      The Phantom whispers, "Jackpot! Gold's all here and the dragon's asleep. Now hurry and get it all into the bags of holding."

        Loading editor
    • "Ohh...that's what we're here for? Well, ok..." The man approaches the dragon, slowly, softly, looking to sneak in. Only, his hand, arisen in a gesture, lays on the dragon's primal nose. THe getle touch awakes the beast in a semi-startled manner, only for her sight to fill with his presence, softening.

      "Are you back, dearest?" She whispers in telepathy, unsavory with using grunts as words.

      "Yep" He nods, holding a bag of apples "I got the Zipangu apples you wanted.

      "I see..." The dragon's smile quickly turns to a frown "Who. Is. she?"

      "Ohh, I was under the impression she wanted to taste one of these. Turns out, she's here to loot you".

      "What?!" The dragon immediately rises on top of her massive treasury, to the phantom's dread, green flames peering from her jaw.

      ---

      Story

      "Now, be careful! The cursed village is known to be teeming with ghouls!"

        Loading editor
    • "Hey, this isn't Brooklyn! You're a shit guide!"

      Story

      "Oh, seems you're too young to go to the r-rated movie...but maybe there's another way you can watch it~?"

        Loading editor
    • "I never wanted to see it weird lady!"

      Story

      "Welcome to Hell you naughty man! I am it's ruler and you can't escape me! I will be everywhere you run and we'll have so much fun!"

        Loading editor
    • "sorry but we're in limbo and limbo has no ruler."

      Story

      "I'm sorry! Please come back! I can't exist without you by my side!"

        Loading editor
    • "no."

      Story

      "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! WHY! WON'T! ANY! OF! THESE! PEOPLE! CUT! ME! A! BREAK?!"

      The phantom is angrily trashing several pieces of property.

        Loading editor
    • "Ma'am, destruction of property is a seven hundred euro fine."

      Story

      "Any idea for what we can do to stop these pointless flame wars on our forum? I've got a reward in order if you can can snuff them."

        Loading editor
    • "flames? Just use water. I'll take the five thousand gold now."

      Story

      • She is now banging her head against a wall in despair.*
        Loading editor
    • "Hey, hey, hey! None of that. Here, hug this Yeti. You'll feel better."

      Story

      • She's wearing a fleece jacket* "I get it now, fluff is the answer! Come into my arms!"
        Loading editor
      • is currently hugging a Weresheep* "No."

      Story

      You're in a carriage which has a broken wheel. Your Phantom bodyguard stands guard with her sword ready who is facing an Amazoness who was responsible for the damage to the carriage.

      "You want to get to him, you have to go through me!" the Phantom challenges, to which the Amazoness smirks and draws her sword.

        Loading editor
    • "Hey ladies, your little contest is cute and all but I think you're making my wife mad." *A nine-tailed Inari cracks her knuckles loudly*

      Story

      "Oh, you finally noticed me. Congratulations! I've been with you for a long time now, Hubby. All those times you thought you ere being watched? That was me playing the long game. Keeping you safe. Whether you want it or not.

        Loading editor
    • "I don't know you, and I'm already dating someone. Speaking of...." A very pissed off hellhound beats up the phantom and kicks her out.

      Story

      The phantom saunters in with a cheap dragon disguise, with a price tag still on her wings. 

      "Who dares disturb my lair....?"

        Loading editor
    • " your lair? I've been hatching evil plots for over 10,000 years here!"

      Story

      " I don't understand. All my sisters were able to trick their husbands and my Illusions are more powerful than theirs! Which allows you to resist my powers?"

        Loading editor
    • "I don't have any resistances. I can just see right through your illusions."

      Story

      "Aww crap, the elevator broke down! Welp, looks like we'll be stuck in here for awhile so we may as well find something to do to pass the time."

      She winks at you.

        Loading editor
    • "Good thing I've got this deck of cards then aye?"

      Story

      "Well laddie, you can either walk the plank or join me in my cabin. What say you?

        Loading editor
    • "Walk the plank because I see a Kraken waving to be down there."

      Story

      A glowing, muscular Youko floats before you and the Phantom. The Phantom is aghast and says, "H-how? I sealed her five hundred years ago! How can she be back and more powerful?"

        Loading editor
    • "...I let her out because she wanted a friend."

      Story

      "Got a bucket of chicken, wanna do it?"

        Loading editor
    • "Sure!" *gobbles up every last piece of chicken much to the Phantom's dismay*

      Story

      "Awww...crap, the car broke down. Hang on, I'll get it running again and I'll let you punish me at the motel because I deserve it for letting this happen."

        Loading editor
    • "Oh hey, a Gremlin mechanic just rocked up. What are the odds?"

      Story

      "Locking you in this tower was for your own good, my love. This way I can protet you from all the degenerate whores."

        Loading editor
    • "um, you locked me out of the tower."

      story

      "There's no escape, no one else coming to save you and you're being chased by March hares, ropers, and slime carriers. Will you accept my love now?"

        Loading editor
    • "No fucking way, I'm hijacking this story instead!" *the scene changes to me drinking singapore slings with Hunter S Thompson and Keith Richards*

      story

      "Help me, hero! I've been badly injured and need your spirit energy to heal my wounds!"

        Loading editor
    • "There's a large jug of healing liquid right next to you!"

      Story

      "Hold me hero. Let us enjoy our final moments together on this falling ship.

        Loading editor
    • "But that Kraken over there looks awfully nice....."

      Story

      "Pizza time!"

        Loading editor
    • "I ordered Chinese ya dill"

      Story

      "I'll drive the rebels back into the jungle for you El Presidente. My services come with a very specific *wink* cost, however."

        Loading editor
    • "no need, for the good of my people, I shall hand in my resignation."

      Story

      "the Crystal ball will tell all. i see you with a newly acquired wife in the near future. one who works hard to create stories for your enjoyment. sometimes forgoing days of sleep just to do so."

        Loading editor
      • runs off with a Jinko who likes to write as the phantom stares on

      Story

      "Hey buddy, I think you got the wrong door. The leather club's two blocks down."

        Loading editor
    • "I was here for the knitting club lady. What the hell?"

      Story

      "Oi! The Kraken's coming! Keep her at bay with the cannons while we fish out the treasure chest below!"

        Loading editor
    • "Do you mean the treasure chest that the Scylla swimming next to us is holding? I'll go grab it off her. Oops! Overboard I go..."

      Story

      So it's just you, me and this bottle of rum. Trapped on a tiny raft in the middle of the ocean while the Mersharks circle 'round. I think this is the end, my love...

        Loading editor
      • gulps down rum, falls off board and drowns before any of the marine mamono have a chance to rescue me

      Story

      "I'll give you a cookie if you participate in at least one of these stories.Please?"

        Loading editor
    • (bump for the umpteenth time as my elbows are ground to powder lol)

        Loading editor
    • "Is it an oatmeal raisin cookie?" I ask

      "Yes" she replies

      Soon, the story is completed and I get my cookie.

      NEW PHANTOM APPROACHING


      "go easy on me, this is my first time."

        Loading editor
    • (yuck, oatmeal raisin)

      (if you like it good on you ig lol)

      "What"

      Story

      "Egads! There's a dragon at the tower!"

        Loading editor
    • "It's a damn good thing I don't work there. You're clothes might be in trouble though."

      Story

      "Keep this car steady! I'm gonna see if I can shoot our drunken suspect's tires out!"

        Loading editor
    • "...we're playing Mario Kart. Chill."

      Story

      "Wait, if we're playing Mario Kart-OH GOD DON'T THROW THAT BLUE SHELL AT ME"

        Loading editor
      • throws  it*

      Story

      "THIS PARTY WON'T EVER STOP!!!!!"

        Loading editor
      • shuts off nintendo switch

      "It just did, we're not playing Mario Party anymore."

      Story

      "Can we just play one video game together? Nothing sexual?"

        Loading editor
    • "I'm studying for finals."

      Story

      "My lord, our town militia is rebelling!"

        Loading editor
    • "I told you to hire mercs, but nooo MuH EtHiCs! Now look what's happening. This is on you!"

      Story

      "This abandoned hospital is said to be the most haunted place in Australia. I'm sure we'll get some great footage here. After you."

        Loading editor
    • "Haven't you learned what happens to people who explore decrepit places like this in horror movies? I'm out of here."

      Story

      "G'day mate! How about you hop in the jeep and we can hunt down some emus yeah?"

        Loading editor
    • "Emus in the tree line! We're cut off! SARGE WHAT DO I DO?! No, not Jimmy, he was just a boy!" *breaks off in tears while the Phantom stares awkwardly*

      Story

      "Drinking contest, winner fucks the loser, go!" (she plonks a bottle of Oni distilled Ouzo on the table)

        Loading editor
    • "I'm strictly non-alcoholic."

      Story

      • She pulls out an Ouija board* "let's see what the spirits say  you should do to me." She then signals to some ghosts near by.
        Loading editor
    • "They're telling me that I should become a successful author, which is what I'm going to do. Oh, and they also say I should eat more fruits and vegetables."

      Story

      "Saw you sparring with the seagull down there. Best leave him be. Bad luck to kill a gull."