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A bright day begins in  a certain city, which once was bustling with activity of it’s inhabitants, is now rather devoid of their presence. As of recent, dissapearences have occurred, and people are weary for the safety or their own neighbours, friends and families, many barricading themselves in their own homes, except for various vendors and merchants.

It is at this moment that in the city arrives a stranger. To the amazement of the few present onlookers, it appears to be… a Holstaur. She had blue eyes, dark hair with some white parts on it and black spots over most of her pale skin. What was even more amazing though, was her stature and attire: a pretty tall and bulky body for someone as delicate as her, clad in a patchwork leather armor: leather greaves, from her curvy waist down to her bovine ankles; a large leather vest, managing to cover almost all of her impressive… torso, with a dark blue-ish tunic beneath it. And on her head, wearing an improvised helmet, likely from metal pans of sorts, also giving the impression that she has small to no horns at all. On her back, she possesses a rather big yet rusted wood axe, besides a bag of holdings. On various parts of her body can be seen bandages, likely bruises she sustained from her travels.

She walked along the road, through the city, in hopes of finding someone dear to her. Someone she has lost to nefarious plots. She is also on a mission: to free those who have fallen prey to marauders; pilferers that snatched many other men away from their loved ones. Thieves, known as Dark Elves and Arachnes, led by the Beast Queen of Spiders: Lolth. For these reasons, she has traveled far and wide, faced many obstacles and dangers on her way, in a bid to rescue them. Unfortunately, she cannot seem to find Lolth’s kingdom, nor possess any ways of releasing those captured. She may have come this far, but she lacks any plans or tools to achieve this. She is at a loss on what to do… and close to despair.

As she sat down near a fountain located in the corner of the town square to drink some water, she was pondering on her actions

"I made it… but  don’t know what to do now. I beaten some mean people and got out of so many troubles… Yet I don’t know how to find Lance and the other people. And I don’t know where are the Dark Elves and the Arachnes. I asked a lot of humans and Mamonos but no one knew anything either. Hawww. What am I going to do ? I wish Lina was here…"

Unbeknown to her due to being so sunken into her thoughts, any present onlooker has long left out of the area… and one mysterious individual approached her unnoticed. A strange man, dressed in what seemed like a colorful jester attire of green, blue and purple, alongside a mask concealing his face. He had blonde hair and seemed to have... long, green ears and near him 'gravitated' some sort of tiny doll, mimicking his very movements and gestures. With a grinning expression beneath the mask, he introduces himself to the Holstaur, startling her.

25018 2.png

"Greetings, fair maiden. Why are you so laden ?"

"Huh ?! Who-who are you ?"

"Who am I is of no inconsequence. What you will do is of great consequence."

"What will ‘I do’ ? But I don’t know what to d-wait, how do you know what I AM doing ?"

"Word of your quest has traveled far. It seems you have become quite the star."

"Well, okay but… why do you speak like that ?"

"Oh, that is nothing impressive. Just my little way of being expressive."

"Then… what do you want  from me ?"

"I merely seek to offer my aid, on your perilous crusade."

The Holstaurs face brightens quickly.

"Aha, really ?! Thank you, thank you very much !"

"Please, do not thank me yet. I also must warn you of the threat."

"Oww ? What threat ? How dangerous is it ? Please, you must tell me, I have to help the captured people ! And someone dear to me !"

"Before onward you proceed, you must take my heed. The one you seek, mighty holstein, is Lolth, the one Spider Queen. You must know that her power is immense. Her title is far from pretense. For she is one of the ancient Beast Kings, therefore none but her kin can match her strings."

The Holstaurs confidence waivers heavily, almost giving in to despair.

"Nooo ! If-if-if she is tha-that p-powerful then… wha-what can I do ?!"

"Fear not, fair holstein, for there is a solution. Sometimes, the Queen has a taste for artistic execution. In Dragonia, when you traveled; your blessed voiced you have unraveled. At a music show you have sang, and it has made quite the bang. The Queen has heard your voice; to ‘have’ you she has made it her choice. And I say that this is your chance; to retrieve the captured men and the one named Lance."

"That-that is good news, kinda but… how is that supposed to help ? And how do you know Lance’s na-"

"I shall go the Queen with a proposal; to create an opportunity at your disposal. She likes to play with her prey. She cannot resist the power display. I might convince her to a duel; with you as opponent and 'prized jewel'."

"But… h-how can you find her ? How can y-you make her listen to you ? And… why-why are you helping me ? How do I know that you’re not l-lying ?"

"My methods and reasons… only concern me. I know that your trust does not come for free. To you I shall be honest: I love to incite contest. I have been amused by your quest. And I wish to put you to the test. The entire story is quite the jest. And I wish to see what happens next. For great potential you have expressed; for the love and peace you have professed. Now I leave you with my words for you to digest. And I advise you to get a very good rest. I wish you good luck. And hold on to your pluck. I bid thee farewell;  Brave Meri Bell…"

And with those words, the strange jester departed. Meri tried to reach him but he somehow… vanished without a trace, right around the corner of some house. This has confused her, but moreover, she has remained nervous over this exchange. Could that man be trusted ? Was he telling the truth ? No one knew. However what she did knew is that she needed a plan for her to succeed. She would spend many hours, sitting in the same place, trying to think hard over this, but nothing came to mind.

That is, until a familiar voice calls out to her.

"Meri ! There you are !"

The Holstaur turns around to see her best friend: a gold eyed and haired Kikimora, clad in dark-green traveling robes over a formal maid uniform of a more… radical design. The Holstaur stands up and runs towards the Kikimora, glomping and hugging her intensly.

"Lina ! When did you got here ? And how did you found me ?"

"Well, I had a little bit of help. However it was not easy; we had to explore quite the massive map to find you. If only I could have come with you from the start; but it does not matter. We are together again now."

"I’m-I’m so sorry too that I had to leave like that. But… who’s ‘we’ ?"

"Why us, of course !"

Behind Lina followed two groups of Mamonos, with three proeminent figures at the front: a tanned-skinned Nemean in ancient greek garbs, a blue scaled Ryu of the Deep Sea, dressed in dark blue oriental kimono and a Hellhound with a large bright tail, wearing nothing but rags over what little underwear she has.

And after them followed the Nemean’s platoon of dozen lion-warrior Mamonos, dressed in similar garbs as their leader and lacking any armor and weapons, for they do not need them. The other group was the Ryu’s personal guard, comprised of various Mamonos such as a Salamander, an Ushi-Oni, an Ogre, an Amazone, a Cursed Sword, a Dhampir, a Kunoichi and knightly Minotaur.

"H-Hera ! Lady Hailyn ! Irris ! You’re all here !"

"Hahaha ! Of course we are ! We wouldn’t have missed this for the world ! After all, why would I not follow the one woman to bested me in hand-to-hand combat ?”

"But… all I did was hug you really ti-"

"Haha ! An effective technique, given your strong body, and spirit !”

Hera leans in to Meri in order to whisper:

“Let’s just keep it between us, darling."

"Yes, after were passing through my temple in Zinpagu for tea and questions, people began speaking; rumors of a Holstaur seeking the Spider Queen to rescue innocents. And when your Kikimora friend came forth to me searching for you, I knew I had to intervene myself. Indeed, we had to travel far and wide to find you."

"R-Really ? People were talking ? I-I just asked around for directions, nothing more. And you all tried to find me since then ?"

"Absolutely. And when people began speaking, unsavory attention was also drawn. I had to find you quick before anything bad could happen."

"Yeah, you stirred up hell ! Pissed off whatever bandits, soldiers, brigands, mercenaries and even some really bitchy-Mamonos on the way. Hah, you either steamrolled through them or got away on the nick of time ! You bet your tail we wouldn’t leave you alone. Beside, I have something to settle with that lover of yours."

"I’m…I’m.. so happy to see you all ! But now… I’m-I’m lost. I don’t know where to find the Queen."

"Fear not, we will find that wench and-"

Before the Nemean can finish he words, from out of nowhere, they were approached by two new presences: a Dark Elf and a Jurou-Gumo. The Dark Elf speaks to the group:

"Greetings. Word has come to us that you seek an audience with our Queen, yes ?"

Everyone faces the two sinister Mamonos in an alert-like stance. Meri steps forth to speak:

"Y-Yes we have. Can we s-speak to her ?"

"She is aware and awaits. A certain… ‘messenger’ has brought your achievements to her attention, so you may see her. And she has a test for you. A trial of… musical arts. Fail that test… and you all will belong to her. Do you accept ?"

Meri looks back to Lina, Hera, Hailyn and Irris, unsure if she could take such a risk. But they all look to her with brave faces, in support for her quest. They are willing to go with her to the very end…

"Yes, we accept"

The Elf replies:

"Very well. This way, please."

The Queens representatives then open a portal to their domain with the use of an arcane artefact, and shortly after, they all pass through.

Once inside, the heroines are led by the two representatives through dark corridors, hardly distinguishable and barely lit by torches. At the end of the dark corridor, the group find themselves in a large hall. And in the middle of it… the Queen herself awaits. As lights slowly fill the room with each torch being magically lit, music also slowly begins to fill the air.

As the group prepare for confrontation, Meri makes the first step:

"G-Greetings, Spider Queen."

As the music begins to build and numerous Dark Elves and Rachnes gather around the Queen and the 'guests' from al over the palace to assist the show, the Queen gleefuly turns to the heroins.

"Greetings, little lambs ! How are you this day ?

Have you brought yourselves as slaves to me, to fiddle with and play ?"

"No, we have not. But to make to you a demand."

"That’s all too bad, because this is not Wonderland."

"All of these poor lands you have pillaged, robed and harmed.

All of the lives you have taken and ruined.

That’s very, very cruel, you have to agree."

"I do as I please, you naive cow. See ?"

"And among those prisoners, my sweet lover lies.

A kind man like the others, taken by surprise.

His safe return to me, is what my intent strives.

And the same for all the other guys."

"You come to my lair, deluded and insane.

You somehow believe that I will forfeit my fair gain.

Please do tell me weaklings, what you hope to attain ?

I don’t reckon that you fools are truly this inane."

"It’s something I must do, not some sort of sport.

To save all the innocents, and my sweet consort.

If their just release from you, I cannot extort.

Then if I can, I shall fight you as last resort !"

The music slows down for a moment, as if for a brief reprieve.

"Aha, ahahahah ! You are adorable. I could just gobble you up…"

"Careful, you might choke up."

And just as quickly, it resumes it's maddened pace.

"I will not release them, you’re fighting a windmill."

(stomp, stomp, stomp) >>"YOU WILL !"<<

"We won’t leave without those captured men, you shill !"

"I am the Spider Goddess ! You dare pester me like this ?!"

"Keep dawdling on and on your webs we will piss !"

"Where’s the men you took, you still insist to omit !"

"Your claim is absurd ! You have no power to make it !"

"How dare you, you colossal eight-legged leech !

She is not some twit, she’s Ero’s Reach !

She’s braved many dangers and helped many in need, her noble heart’s worth a thousand like you !"

"I am the Great Beast Queen ! My dominion holds true !"

"Oh you really think so ? >>Haha, screw you<< !"

Why don’t we ask our Ryu friend what she thinks of this ?

She commands all the Deep Seas-"

"-And even the Great Abyss."

"Here’s a little thought: I’ll bring to you the flood !

Let us see your 'dominion' beneath the seabed !"

"THAT YOU HAVE THE GALL !"

"Oh, are you gonna bawl ?"

"I DAMN YOU ALL !"

"…..."

"This got quite banal.

Please free the men and quit your stall."

"FINE !"

"That’s swell !"

>>"VICTORY FOR MERI BELL !"<<

As with the sudden conclusion of the face-off, a cocooned body falls on top of Meri's head, knocking her unconcious. Apparently, it was Meri's very lover, Lance, who was just as knocked out cold. And as 'promised', Lolth has relinquished him, though not in a civil way. Meri's companions were shocked and outraged by this, but before they can say anything, the Spider Queen booms furiously at them:

"This means nothing ! So what you can drown my entire kingdom ? I will peel the flesh of your bones for this ! No fool chalenges me and walks aw-"

Before she could finish though, Meri, Lance, the heroic Mamonos and all the prisoners strewn about in cocoons suddenly vanish, as if teleported away. Then one mischievious voice makes itself heard, walking out of nowhere towards the center of the hall.

"You have given your word and agreed to the terms. Now all your plans have gone to the worms. For once in your life, accept that you lost. For even to someone like you, there's always a cost."

"You...! You did this ! I shall enjoy torturing you !"

The unknown jester was promptly surprised and swiftly encased in web. But when they tried to open the cocoon, they realised it was empty, with naught but a box in it left, with a key on it's side. When they turned the key around, out the box popped a tiny spider with a not stuck to it: "Alas, such a sore loser getting so mad. Have a nice day; you've just been had."

"GAAAAH ! This was the Reptile King's doing, wasn't it ?! Of course, who else would prank me like this after I sent him that book about Law and Order last month. Next time, King ! NEXT TIIIIIIIME !"

As for our heroines, they are relishing in their new found victory, lucky as it was. They returned the captured men to their homes, as well as help the settlements and towns take great measures should this happen once again. Afterwards, Meri, Lina and all the other Mamonos held a great party to celebrate Lance's return. Lance, as usual, has no idea what just happened, due to having been comatose through most of the kidnaping. Again. However, there remained an equaly as great question: just who was that mysterious jester that helped them and why ? Was he good ? Does he have his own agenda ? Would they see him again ? No one knew. But was certain is that he will always come around to see the greatest of shows this world has to offer...

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Afterword

This is a little fic I decided to do after watching a particular "techno-music sing-off" of sorts and decided it could make for a cool or funny parody fic, staring my waifu Holstaur. It was also an experiment with the code in text in order to achieve certain visual aids on the page, but sadly almost nothing worked, save for colored text, which was kind of bitch to make it work, so chances are I won't be trying anything similar anytime soon, (not to mention that trying to add visual aids through text-code proved to be way too tedious and messy). All in all, whether the fic was good or just goofy, I hope it was enjoyable to read. If not, please leave any and all kind of constructive criticism (as well as text-code tricks) in order for me to better improve myself or simply any questions you may have. Thank you.

Other notes: When there is text between >><<, it means several character speak in unison.

Credits

Meri the Holstaur, Lina the Kikimora, Hailyn the Ryu, Irris the Hellhound and Lance the happles OC belong to me.

Lolth the Spider Queen, the Nemean Mamonos and the Reptile King character belong to Reptile King (the user): https://monstergirlencyclopedia.fandom.com/wiki/User_blog:The_Reptile_King/The_Reptile_Kingdom \ https://monstergirlencyclopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Thread:981041

My 'inspiration' (or more like rip o-uh I mean, artistic muse :P) was this video starring Warhammer 40K characters in techno rap battle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_veuQbHBaig

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