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Isabella never thought that this day would come. Yes, it had always been a morning routine facing her beloved husband in combat, sparring with him, and refining their swordsmanship with the deep mutual trust of each other, but now, the same man is in front of her, aiming not to spar, but for worse.

Like many of her Lizardman kin, she always dreamed to meet a warrior as honorable as she, and had her dreams come true when she met Axel Kilgorus. Ideal, heroic, determined, noble and skilled in the way of war, that was him, the mate right for her. She thought that after they marry, they will live happily ever after, basking in each other’s love as they fight for the good and smite the evil.

She tried to find if that ideal Axel is still there, trying to reach out for her as he battled the murderous personality in his body and soul. He is only a bit taller than her and many other men of his age and not that heavy-armed, as one might expect from the Butcher of Maiandra, the Slayer of Elves, who killed a thousand of the race whom he strives to drive into extinction and razed hundreds of their homes and sanctuaries.

“Isabella…I assume you are here to stop me...” His voice, so nonchalantly serene, yet grim, both according and dissonant to the surroundings around them, a village where once elves had lived, now only death and destruction remain.

“Yes, Axel.” She answered, trying her best for her voice not to break. Seeing right before her eyes her husband had gone mad pains her heart to no end.

“I understand…” Axel unsheathed his sword. Isabella recognized the shades of black and red in its blade as made of demon realm silver and steel “…and I understand that you will never understand what I have done.”

Isabella also unsheathed her sword, made of the same material as Axel’s. “I understand.” she replied, a tear now escaping from her eye “All the more reason why I should stop you.”

Seeing her trying not to break down in tears, Axel’s steely look softened, if only for a bit. If only she had hated him…despised him for what he’s been doing, as he had despised the king for having no balls to win the war and defeat the elves.

Her voice remained firm, yet the wistfulness is evident. “The king wants you to stop what you’re doing and turn yourself over, but I won’t…....If you stop this…maybe we can leave the kingdom…and we can leave peacefully somewhere and have a family.”

The vision of the past surfaced in his mind. Memories of spending time with her, of training with her, of swearing eternal love to her, that he will be a hero not only she’ll love, but also the people would hold dear in their hearts. And then there are the dreams of future, that someday they’ll raise at least three daughters, all strong and kind-hearted as they are, that they will grow in a country where peace and justice reigns. And that world…

…that world is in danger of being engulfed by destruction. Threats are rising, and measures so drastic are needed. The king is a fool for having him arrested. Yes, it’s a (maybe) smart move to send the woman who had spent her life with him more than anyone else, but still, a fool’s decision that he should be stopped.

The elves…they have did to the other people what he did to them. They destroyed homes, burned crops, and ended lives, using all terror and evil imaginable to kick the other races out, and have the Maiandra Mountains for themselves. Their childish dogmatism is one that he can’t stand, and one minor reason why he hated them. The forest elves’ insurrection is causing Agora grief in all levels, particularly on the royal army. If the elves were to bleed them dry, Agora’s military preparedness will deteriorate, giving the neighboring Order nation of Kantore a chance to destroy them.

They are a scourge to Maiandra, a plague…they will not listen to reason. Their bigoted view of themselves and everyone else will make them blind to the peace of coexistence. If the enemy doesn’t want to make peace, why still force it? No…

The thoughts are being muttered out of his mouth when he already realized it and she heard them.

“Axel...?”

“They don’t want peace. They want war. They must have what they want.” He continued, seemingly lost to himself. “Isabella, don’t lie to me that you understand. If you want to stop me, you have to kill me. It’s the only way you can stop me.”

Kill him? No, it won’t come to that. “I won’t. I’ll stop you. I don’t need to kill you. I’m willing to show you that what you’re doing is wrong, no matter how you justify it.” She replied, showing off that her sword is made of the same material.

He only shook his head. “You’re very naïve as always.” Behind that nonchalant response is a pained heart, now even the path of a hero’s death had been closed before him.

No more words to say about right or wrong. Axel strode towards her, his gait menacingly prompt and his intent obvious.

The fight is already on.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Swords clashed. Strikes exchanged. Attacks missed. Wounds gotten. Energies spent.

The initiative remained Axel’s, the Butcher of Maiandra relentless and cruel as a storm. So far, her strikes, compared to his, are sparse, focused on deterring Axel’s much more continuous attacks and landing at whatever small chance of weakness in his movements.

Axel immediately followed up with a swipe, not giving her the chance to counter, but she lowered, rolled to the side. She felt her reptilian tail meet his warm demon-steel blade take off an inch of her scales. She looked up again, in time to see him ready to strike again. This time, she opted to maintain her distance away from him.

“This being a real fight doesn’t mean you need to hold back.” He challenged, his tone more like casual than taunting.

The two warriors clashed their swords against the other’s, their skills, honed by training, and more importantly, experience they had accumulated. Isabella may have the strength of being a mamono aiding her, but Axel is even more experienced than she. The Butcher of Maiandra is also very relentless, and she is having a hard time to strike back. As long as she keeps up, she’ll be fine, but the key to defeat him lies on him making a mistake. So far, she could not pinpoint any weakness in his changing moves that she can exploit.

Until their swords struck each other again, both hands fully committed —

PUNCH!

She staggered back, feeling Axel’s fist on her face, and the reeling stun it caused. She shook off the effect, just in time for Axel land another one, even when he still has his sword. She tasted something iron in her mouth, and there’s blood on his fist.

Axel followed up again, closing in this time with a diagonal upwards attack that could have sliced her from leg to shoulder. She fell back, only feeling the force of air disturbed by the blade. A chance—a trap; his sword swiped again, catching her blade attempting to thrust. She pivoted her sword, and drove his sword to the ground. Both tips are now edged in a deadlock, struggling to keep the other from—

PUNCH!

Axel saw the earth and sky almost mix and rumble, after feeling Isabella’s scaly fist on his face. The force, tripled by her strength, was enough to draw blood from his nose and mouth. His feet staggered, trying to find balance. His head swam, fought to reclaim his sense of balance. His hand weakened, trying it’s all just to keep grasp of his sword. And then…

His neck, something piercing on it, and all that is left of his strength drained from it.

His senses got themselves together again. She was right in front of him, face-to-face. His vision wavered between clarity and fuzziness. He could see her hand gripping a dagger, thrust on his throat. He could breathe fine, as if the dagger weren’t there, but his strength is draining away. He knew…

Why keep me alive?

Death…he had been looking for it, for a fitting end for a warrior who had become a brute fiend. A criminal like him, everyone would judge, does not deserve to live. At least, if it would have been given to him, he’ll die fighting…

“Isabella…why…?”

Her eyes, glistening like diamonds from tears about to fall, were the last thing he saw before everything went dark.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Reinforcements from the Demon Lord have arrived to help us, but they are turning back as of now. The forest elves of Maiandra are in the process of demobilizing, and Kantore had stood down its forces from possible war with us.” It was the intelligence report of the day, which relieved all the military minds of the kingdom. For years, they have to be vigilant at the possibility of war, to be prepared at the day where even teachers, cargo workers and farmers are called up to fight to prevent the Order-aligned kingdom of Kantore from ravaging their land and kill their loved ones, especially who are mamono. Kantore’s arming of the forest elf separatists have brought the situation close to catastrophe, but in the most miraculous miracle the kingdom ever had, Kantore’s king had a change of mind after having have a new wife, but even then, it is causing great controversy in that country’s royal court. It doesn’t change the fact that the situation had gone from almost critical into near peacefully secure, and they needed that peace to be able to lick their wounds.

Isabella does not share the same relief as the other heroes, even if the king, the one who ordered her husband’s arrest, tried to console her.

“He’s a hero, and ought to protect the weak and smite the evil. I’m not ignorant of the terroristic campaign the elves are pursuing. I know that in war it’s inevitable for atrocities to happen. It’s just…” He sighed “…fighting violence with violence will only breed more violence.”

“That’s why I want to stop him.”

The poignant implication didn’t escape him “Even if it meant that he must be jailed?”

She nodded. The king continued “In times like this, in times of desperation, it’s a common misconception that nobility amounts to wish-wash. I’d like to refute that. If it weren’t for that, we wouldn’t have a kingdom. We wouldn’t have unity, let alone humans and monsters understanding each other. Only self-minded profiteers would believe that nobility is a crapshoot.”

She nodded at this. Still the thought of nobility and why things had gone the way they did, or is it really right for the way to go as it did, comes second to the troubling thought of being far away from Axel.

“Your Excellency,” she asked, pausing to take a deep breath “can you do me a favor?”

By now his eyes are not meeting hers, just staring at nothing. “And what would it be?”

“If…” she began; each word should be clearly stated “If you want to exile Axel, can I join him?”

The king would have said yes right away, but there are things to consider. As Axel Kilgorus had been very significant to him, so is Isabella. She knew what those things are: their significant role in his army, their skill in commanding troops, etc. On the other hand, Isabella, being a mamono, would need Axel in her life, as a husband and source of spirit energy.

“Yes” It seemed a response like out of nowhere, and like he was out of his mind. Maybe it is time to leave him alone for now.

“Are you sure?”

A weak nod is his answer.

“Your Excellency, are you fine?”

“Yeah, I’m just thinking deeply about things. You’re dismissed for today.”

“I understand, Your Excellency. I’ll take my leave.” An affirming, yet same weak nod was all she got from him, and with that, she left the king deep in his own thoughts.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The war and the troubles for Agora’s people are over, but for Axel, they are still giving him sleepless nights. Languishing in his dim dungeon cell with only torchlight from outside to stave away the darkness at nights, the atmosphere makes him able and only able to think deeply about things.

The atrocities he did is now coming back to haunt him, but what if he hadn’t done them? Would have been they become bolder in their attacks, causing more deaths without repercussion? What if he just stayed there and concentrated on defending people instead of going to offensive?

He felt silly thinking about those things. In war, the enemy is supposed to be destroyed, at least discouraged from going—

“Axel…?”

A familiar voice and the light getting dimmer on his cell drew his attention to the door’s slot. The face of the brown-haired woman with reptilian ears is no stranger.

“Isabella…”

He remained sitting on the floor, and the dimness made things harder, but she could see how he is: broken, ragged, troubled, and all alone. She was clearly disheartened at his state.

“I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me. You sent me here in the first place.” The last words pierced her heart, even if there was no anger in his voice. She had sent him to this hell, even if it was needed to.

Seeing her unnerved by his words, Axel assured “I understand. You did what you had to do. You had to arrest a mass murdering villain.”

It could be a sarcastic remark for all she knew, but in her eyes, even in the face of his deeds coming into light… “No…you were no villain.”

“Do you think what I’ve done is right, then?”

She shook her head. “No, but you wanted to bring peace—”

“I’m not fishing for flattery, Isabella!” he snapped, then realizing what had come to him, he let silence reign over for a moment “…Heroes. We heroes are supposed to embody justice, peace and equality.”

“You are right, but—”

“But what if the people you’re fighting for are also fighting you?”

For once she could not answer. He sighed at this and turned his gaze to the ground. “A hero never surrenders, and cannot give up fighting his enemy. A hero cannot hurt the innocent and the weak, and what if those people rise up to fight the hero?”

For a moment, she found herself unable to answer, till it came to her mind. “…Everyone can do evil things, but it doesn’t mean he’s already an evil person.”

“And do you think the elves in Maiandra are good?”

“Yes and no, but what they did is wrong.” She sighed, dismayed by the terroristic conduct of the elves, and his as well “What you did is wrong too…You had good intentions, to protect others from their attacks…but why go far?”

Why go far, if he just wants to just protect the people? “Merely standing there and shielding them won’t stop them. What if I am not there? That’s their strategy, run down our will to stay in the mountains. To protect someone, you must destroy the threat to its existence.”

He took a deep sigh before going on “We could have won their hearts and minds, I remember him saying that…” he further rambled, referring to the king “…but I said, the elves, they do not want to coexist with us—”

“But you know that they ha—”

“Want peace, this time.” He scoffed at that knowledge before going on. “They should have not done so much if they want some insurance, should have not attacked villages of other peoples if they want to rebel against us in the first place. And his Noble Excellency…” More of a derisive than respectful tone, he addressed the king’s title “We did not come to any conclusion, but he ordered…or pleaded? Pleaded, ordered me not to do ‘that’. How naïve he is…and I was…I waited for him to come to think of something. Something, other than that.”

“Why go on if you wait for him?”

“The longer he can’t think of something, the worse the situation goes. I can’t stand people getting killed left and right and be able to get away with it, us without having the power to root them out.”

It piqued her attention. It’s time to know why. “But why kill many innocents of them?”

“Innocent?” He scoffed, bitter to hear the word “If they aren’t killing with their own hands, sure, but they support those of their kin who kill. And sooner or later, they’ll join those who do.”

She shook her head. She knows that many elves eventually joined the rebellion out of fear from the Butcher’s wrath rather than their racist ideology. His arguments are not without merit, though, but it does not change the fact that what he had done almost worsened the war. “Axel…fighting fire with fire will do no good.”

He nodded, agreeing with her point, until… “That’s how the way the world works.” His eyes turned to hers, agitation shown in his eyes “but would it be better if your neighbor harmed you and he’ll get away with it, and knows that he can do it to you again and again? What if people…start doing morally reprehensible things without something to repress them?”

“Defend yourself.”

“Yes…defend yourself. And as a hero, I wanted them to stop attacking other innocents. I want the elves to stop their shit. They cannot be persuaded by words, by gifts. What better way to deliver the message? Get a taste of their own medicine.”

But even if he’s right, she did not like what he had come to. The Axel she knew would never resort to things like this, but he did—

“Are you alright?” Her eyes are already on the verge of spilling tears. “Isabella, are you fine?” he tersely repeated.

“Do you hate me for bringing you here?”

He shook his head and returned a question “Do you hate me for being a murderer?”

“No.”

His expression turned worried, seeing the tears start to fall from her eyes. “I love you, Axel.” she sniffed “I love you because I swore love to you when we were married.”

Axel stood up, walked to the cell door. He wipes her tears away with his finger.

“Don’t you wish you never were a mamono? After finding your husband had changed and never loved you anymore?” he asked, his dialogue devoid of scorn or lunacy. Perhaps, making her realize that their chance of a normal life will be gone may work, except that he still really loves her. Inside, his soul cries in agony, fearing for the worst, which he also hopes for, since it will be for the best.

“No. I always know you love me.”

Axel did not know what he must feel. Should he rebuke her for staying with a criminal like him? Should he be happy that she still loves him? Should he be afraid for her, that she is ready to suffer the same as him? The only thing he knew would that he must embrace her, to let her know that he still loves her, but the cell door makes it impossible.

“I love you too, Isabella. When I think of you, among the innocents, returning to your home, and then one day you can’t go home, I can’t bear that.” he lamented, knowing that Isabella was born in Maiandra. “And the others…they were harmed just for something they never did except for living on.”

“You’re important to me more than anything else, even my home. Even if I cannot go home, I still have you. A loving husband, to take care of me.” she soothed. “And even if you had done wrong, we are all imperfect. Everyone interprets right or wrong for themselves…I may be disturbed by what you have done, but…but at least you did it for what you think is right, not for the sake of killing people. I just…I can’t bear to see you do things like that.”

Axel was silent. He could not find the right words for what he wanted to say. There’s only one choice nearest now.

“I’m sorry, Isabella…” his voice broke, humbled, opening up what he truly feels. He had to cough away the tightening feeling in his throat, as few tears flow from his eyes “…I have let you see those things. I became a murderer you could never love…”

Her voice remaining gentle, she challenged “What makes you say that? We are all imperfect, and always the path to evil is paved with good intentions. You have to be completely bastardly if you want me to hate you. B—but I hated what have you done…it doesn’t mean I hate you.”

He had ended many lives, he thought, but he knew he was doing it just to bring peace to the mountains, not for the sake of killing, raping or destroying. He just wanted the war to end and for lasting peace to finally prevail. What if he did it just for the sake of destruction?

He saw himself as the same Axel in an imagined scene, killing the elves, painting their houses with their blood and desecrating their forests, all for the sake of killing, and using his power to exert suffering on many people in the name of embracing rage. Disgusting, he concluded. If he realized he had gone down to that level, he would gouge his eyes out or choose the most excruciating death possible.

“Axel?”

“Just thinking…and I came to realize: I won’t be able to make you hate me…”

Anger had gone from him. She was not facing the Butcher of Maiandra; his gaze would not be as peaceful as he is. She was facing her beloved husband, Axel Kilgorus. And he was facing whom he loved, and whom he had given his last name for, Isabella Kilgorus. Even after all this time, ever since they were married, his love for her didn’t waver, even if he had become the Butcher of Maiandra.

For the first time since he left to fight in Maiandra, they shared a passionate kiss. The iron bars didn’t matter, even if it did not allow for them to deepen their kiss.

“But it doesn’t change the fact I have made you see horrible things…that I did horrible things, even if it’s needed.” he lamented. “And I must face my judgment…and I am willing to do that…”

Hearing that both soothed and pained her “…It’s alright. You are a brave, courageous person, worthy of being my hero. That’s why I gave my love to you.”

The scene of him punching her dead in the face flashed in his mind “…even if I hurt you when we fought back there?”

“We’re fighting as warriors.” she countered “You’ll never do that to me as my husband. I know.”

Axel didn’t saw it coming. After all he had gone through Maiandra, having his beliefs challenged and morals and practicality clash in his mind as he spent an eternal-like darkness in jail, he was not even sure who or what he was. In his thoughts about what is right or what is wrong…he was not very sure anymore. And those words, it reminded him of what he used to be…and what he wished to be again.

He had made up his mind. Even if he gets acquitted, he would stop being a hero serving the Kingdom of Agora. He had left a gruesome reputation, and a legacy of bloodshed fighting bloodshed. It didn’t mean running away; but he had to fix himself.

“Axel…?”

“Hmm? Oh…it’s just…I’ll stop being a hero. I don’t know, for a while.”

“Why? Then I’ll stop being one too…”

“Silly…you’ve got a bright career ahead of you, but I need to reform myself, think deeply about…my concept of goodness and justice again.”

She nodded “Then let me stop too, so I can be with you. And I want to help you too.”

No use arguing her out of it, he thought. “Fine. We haven’t been together much these days.”

All the talk had degenerated into smalltalk, he realized. The only other thing worth discussing is that thing that continues to plague his reason and viewpoint. And those things are only worthy of business and debate.

“You won’t say goodbye?”

“No, we will meet up again.” she answered with great conviction “But do you want me to leave? I don’t want to.”

His wife’s puppy eye tactic is one thing he could not resist. “No, but I don’t know what we can talk for today. I’ve heard all the news. And I’d rather know what’s with our friends once I get free.”

Friends, even them… “They’ve all been debating whether you’re right or wrong. You’re not the only one confused.”

“I can’t blame them.”

That bit of talk, how small it is, gave them a few more seconds to be together, for them to see each other’s faces again. Axel knew, in the current state of affairs, the king and the forest elders are negotiating with each other for peace, but the elders will be surely crying for justice for their loved ones he had killed. He snickered in his mind. He doesn’t care if he dies, but there’s one thing he wanted to shout out: if a mass murderer like him should die, then the elders should slit their throats or any other suicide or execution or whatever, so that it would be tit for tat. They want to abide with the principle of equal revenge, they should kill themselves.

But there’s still a glimmer of hope for acquittal, no matter what his allies are brewing up just to make the king or the tribunal pardon him. And he must fight for that; if he doesn’t, he’ll leave Isabella all alone in this world, knowing that she would love none other than him…and even after all he went through, one thing of him still remained: his love for Isabella.

“Until we meet again…”

With that mutual ‘farewell’, the nearest thing he could call it, she turned away to leave. How Axel wanted to break the bars that not even a Minotaur or Dragon could even break, to catch up on her, embrace her, and tell her that he loves her with all her heart. Well, he had done not a long time ago, but why he wanted to say it again? Sentimentality can sometimes be funny and frequently enigmatic…or that he might not see her again.

He caught a glimpse of her eyes as she opened the door to exit, and he could see that she’ll be longing for her. He felt unnerved at the prospect of death, but gladly, there’s no other choice but to fight on. A hero always fights no matter if he wins or loses. With that certainty, he started to come up with ways and arguments how he’ll clear his case.

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