Some years ago you used to have a little brother who always fantasize to be a pirate and his adventures on the seas, then you meet with one of this krakens and mermaid who liked to play around your little brother, the kraken has stated to have your brother as her husband. For his birthday you take him to a trip in a ship, he was really excited and had a lot of fun, but then the ship got raided by the aquatic residents with the kraken who wanted him, he was scared but you tried to calm him down that everything will be fine as you hug him tight, the kraken tried to grab him but he got scared and run away but he slipped to the water, it would be fine but he was next to an anchor, the anchor fall on him and killed it. You scream his name and you jump to the water to rescue him, you followed the traits of blood from your brother desperately but he just kept sinking in the depths of water. You was above to get drowned but then your kraken and sea bishop girlfriend stops you from drowning pulling you to the surface, the only thing you could get back was his pirate hat.
Years has passed and today is the birthday of your little brother so you leave some flowers on the beach where his statue is and is protected by the kraken. When you go back to the water you notice a ship with a gloomy appearance, you and your wifes approach to it, your wife try to destroy it with her tentacles she couldn't grab it. When you find the stairs you could climb it just to find out it was the same ship where you and your brother has been. You start to explore and looks almost the same as the last time but all moist and gloomy; you stop on your tracks when you hear an echo voice sound so familiar.
???: Ahoooooyyy!! Pestilent plagues of sea, Im the mightiest pirate of them all.
When you see who was speaking it was your brother, pale with red eyes and shiny blue. You don't know how he revive and his appearance, why he is like it? Your brother takes a pistol and points at you.
Brother: Shall we play a game? Let's catch squids together Onii-chan or play tag?
He then laughs histerically with anime death glare.
What do you do? - X-Periment Z
(*can't go into detail about the gore of the undead because of the rules)
Me: I quickly roll away as he shoots his blunderbuss, the shot impacts the wooden railing where I was just a few seconds ago. "What the hell! Why are you shooting at me? What the hell happened to you? Why are you here?" WHAT"S GOING ON NOW?"
Brother: "You see matey that fatefull day when I was but a wee lad was a' intresting one. Yee see when I fell into the drink I knew me time had come but suddenly I came upon a ghastly sight, an undead demon. She be chained to a cannon and here be the daftest thing. As I sank the wee lass spoke to me The rotting lass promised me a new life and any thing I coud ever want any power I could imagine. All I had to do was take her to be my bride, you know that was the daftest thing I have done, but gaze upone my horrible undead visage! I be Elrad Ravinger Plague of the sea! And this be Audra Hildguard my rotting bride. A rotting mass of flesh in the shape of a demon then rises from the deck. As I look closely I see that behind her wet kelp filled hair I see half a skeletal face and a single red glowing eye. She then moves the hairfrome her face and then delivers the most nauseating french kiss to my undead brother*.
Me: "I think I'm going to be sick..."
Brother: "What be the problem land lubber? Still haven't got your sea legs or ye be repulsed my the visage that be my wife. Because either way I don't appreceate ye be looking at me lady!" She then starts laughing an etherial laugh as my brother pulls out a rusty chipped cutlass. "Ye will make a fine addition to me crew BROTHER!" Suddenly a thunder bird swoops out of the air and plucks me from the jaws of certain undeath and flys me back to shore to the safety of the harem. They then start to smother me with hugs and tears as they thank the thunderbird for saving me. I don't sleep for a whole week after that and never go near the ocean again.