Chance stood in front of his window, looking out at his front yard. He was wearing his usual work attire, as well as a pair of noise canceling headphones. Every once in a while, he’d look down at his watch and grimace, before returning his gaze to the madness outside. It had been a month since the incident at the bar, and the harpy mating season had begun. There were countless harpy type mamono flying around his neighborhood, and he had a feeling that they were looking for him. Most of them were regular harpies or black harpies, but there seemed to be a few rare species like crow tengu. And a siren. He shivered, remembering how the siren had begun to sing the minute she arrived. If he hadn’t managed to put on his headphones he would have marched straight outside. He vowed that he’d thank Ling Ling for the heads up the next time he saw her. He continued to watch the avian mamono, wondering how they had found out that a man lived on that particular street, when he saw Jay land next to his door. She was dressed, or rather half-dressed, in her postal worker uniform. However she wasn’t wearing pants and the front of her shirt was undone, which gave Chance a good view of her petite body. She rang the doorbell and waited, probably hoping that he’d come out like usual. When Chance didn’t show up, Jay began to look in the windows. When she found him, she broke into a smile which made her look the happiest he had ever seen her. He also thought her smile seemed rather manic, like a cute high school girl who’s excited about being able to rape her crush.
“Hey Chance! Can you let me in? I have something that I need to tell you!” Jay called out, but Chance couldn’t hear her through the window or the headphones. He pointed to his headphones and shook his head to tell her that he couldn’t hear her, but she continued to try calling out to him regardless. Thankfully most of the other harpies didn’t bother to see what Jay was up to, but her squawking did draw the attention of her fellow Songbirds. Ruby and Cheri were half dressed much like Jay, wearing a large, loose fitting t-shirt and some unflattering panties respectfully. Sienna on the other hand was completely naked, and more energetic than Chance had ever seen before. All four of them eyed him hungrily as they tried to lure him outside. With the four of them lined up and mostly naked, Chance could see some minute differences between them. Ruby was the tallest, but only by a few inches, and slim. Cheri was the shortest and slightly plump. Jay had the nicest legs and thighs, while Sienna seemed to have the nicest butt. Sienna suddenly began to make out with Cheri while tickling her breasts with her wings, and Chance decided it was a good time to check his watch again. It was almost time for him to leave for work, which meant that his distraction needed to get started soon. He looked back up just in time to see Mrs. Richardson and her cait sith step out onto her front lawn. The cait sith raised their scepters and staves to send out large gouts of flame, bolts of lightning, torrents of water, and blasts of light in every direction. While none of the avian mamono were hit, this display of magical aggression upset them greatly. This also provided the perfect cover for Chance as they were too busy squawking and shouting curses to notice him hurry out of his house and into his car. He quickly turned on his car, and looked out his back window to see if any of the harpies had noticed.
“Je pense que notre distraction a travaillé Mr. Chanceux!” Chance shrieked as he turned to see a small, black cait sith with yellow eyes and white back paws. She wore a plain bicorne hat, and a sword belt which held a small, plastic toy saber. She was also holding a big brown lunch bag almost as big as she was.
“Geez Boots, don’t scare me like that!” Chance scolded as he held his hand over his rapidly beating heart. “You almost gave me a heart attack!”
“Désolé!” Boots said while looking a little sorry. “Je ne voulais pas vous effrayer Mr. Chanceux! Je voulais te donner un cadeau de maman!”
“Is that from Mrs. Richardson? She shouldn’t have! Tell her I said thanks.”
“Très bien! Bonne chance Mr. Chanceux! Vive la révolution!” Chance opened his car window, and Boots jumped out of the car. He waited until he could see the small cait sith before he pulled out of his driveway and sped off to work. He also tried to ignore the small voice in the back of his head that wondered how or why Boots learned how to speak like a Frenchman.
The morning passed by rather swiftly, and Chance stepped into his office to eat lunch. His office wasn’t as big as he had originally been promised, but that was mostly because there weren’t any big offices close to the IT department. Yuuka insisted that he take one of the bigger offices closer to hers, but Chance thought it would be easier if he stayed closer to the rest of the IT team. Truth be told, he didn’t spend a lot of time in his office anyway, since he was usually busy keeping the company computers functioning. However he often found himself spending his breaks in it since it made up for its small size with its privacy. He closed the door behind him before he made a b-line for his desk. After sitting down, Curtis quickly pulled out the lunch bag that Mrs. Richardson had so graciously made for him. He opened it up and almost began to drool at what he saw inside. There was a baloney sandwich with lettuce and cheese, some apple slices, a small bag of chips, another bag full of homemade cookies, and a can of diet coke to wash it down. As he emptied the contents of the lunch bag, he also found an envelope hiding at the bottom. It was addressed to him, and it was written in fancy, cursive letters. He set the envelope aside, and began to eat his simple, but satisfying lunch. When he finished eating, he sat back in his chair to enjoy his full stomach. He took his time to check his office’s clock, and noted that he had an hour left till he was able to leave. He had a party to go to that afternoon, and he had gotten permission to leave early that he could pick up some stuff at the mall. His attention then returned to the envelope on his desk.
“So what’s this about?” Chance asked as he picked up the envelope to examine it further. He noticed that it wasn’t sealed, and opened it. Inside he found a stack of photos and a note with a lipstick kiss. Aside from the lipstick, the note had only one word on it: Enjoy. Chance stared at it for a moment before setting it aside to examine the photos. The first photo in the stack showed Mrs. Richardson baking while wearing an apron and nothing else. In each subsequent photo, a cait sith would come and molest the succubus, until an orgy had broken out in her kitchen. Chance sat looking at the last photo, which showed everyone covered in dough and resting, while Mrs. Richardson looked dreamily towards the camera, and felt a little hot under the collar. Aleena had practised her orgasm denial skills on him the night before, and placed a sleep curse on him before she left. He didn’t know why she had done this, but he assumed she was hoping that the combination of not being able to cum, and the daily sexy shenanigans from other mamono would make her seductions all the more effective. Regardless of the reason, Chance felt pent up, and Mrs. Richardson’s photos didn’t help. Although they could also be a source of relief. Chance checked the time again, and confirmed that his break was almost over. With the realisation that he had so little time, he quickly flipped through the photos. He found one that was looked particularly sexy, and then began to undo his pants.
“Are you here Chance?” Cindy asked while barging into his office without knocking. Chance, who had managed to pull his erection out of his pants, panicked and did his best to hide the photos on his desk. “What’s going on?”
“N-nothing important!” Chance said with a forced chuckle. Ever since she had attempted to rape him last month, Chance had felt uneasy around the jinko. While she was no longer in heat, he couldn’t help but remember her lust filled, predatory face staring him down. He also didn’t want to know what she’d do to him if she realised he was hiding an erection underneath his desk. To try to keep her from becoming suspicious, he gave her a nervous smile, and didn’t look away from her quizzical stare. This also kept him from looking at her white blouse, which was pulled tight over her muscles and breasts. Her skin was visible through the stretched fabric, and Chance couldn’t help but notice that she wasn’t wearing a bra.
“Yeah, I’m f-fine,” Chance lied. He tried to get as close to his desk, and did his best to adopt a professional demeanor. “So how can I help you Cindy?”
“Well, I wanted to…” Cindy trailed off, and began to sniff the air. She closed her eyes, and began to sniff some more until a light blush began to creep onto her face. “Do you smell that?” Now it was Chance’s turn to look confused.
“No?” Chance took a long sniff, but he couldn’t really smell anything. “I can’t smell anything. Does my office really stink that bad?”
“No… Not bad. Whatever it is, it smells really… nice,” Cindy said while staring dreamily into space. She then realized that she was spacing out, and shook her head before lightly slapping her face with her paws. “S-sorry about that!”
Chance shrugged and said, “No problem.” As long as she didn’t pounce on him, he didn’t mind any odd behaviour on her part.
“Thanks. Anyway, I’m here to apologize for what I did to you last month.”
“I-it’s fine,” Chance stuttered. “Y-you were in heat and couldn’t control yourself.”
“It’s not ok!” Cindy insisted. “I-I exposed myself, and threw you to the ground! We both know what I was going to do to you if Ling Ling didn’t stop me!”
“B-but she did stop you! Since nothing happened, you don’t need to apologize!” Cindy slammed her paws onto the desk, and leaned over it to bring her face uncomfortably close to his.
“Could you please accept my apology!?! You’re making this even more embarrassing that it’s supposed to be!” Cindy’s blush grew deeper, and her breathing became heavier as she stared at Chance with her half-lidded, golden eyes. “I need to apologize. I just can’t stand the idea of you hating me…”
“I don’t hate you Cindy,” Chance assured. “We’ve been friends since we started working here. Besides you were in heat! I’d be a pretty shitty friend if I..!” Cindy leaned forward and kissed Chance, interrupting his explanation in the process. He tried to pull away, but Cindy grabbed his collar and refused to let him go. As Chance tried to escape, Cindy climbed onto the desk and ended the kiss with a purr.
“S-sorry Chance, but you just smell so good~! I can’t seem to control myself, and you’re making me feel so hot~. Do you want to see how hot you make me?” Chance watched aghast as Cindy sat upright, and began to slowly undo the buttons on her blouse. Chance couldn’t understand what was going on. She wasn’t in heat again, was she? When her blouse was half unbuttoned, Cindy purred, “I feel like I’m burning! And my heart! My heart’s beating so fast Chance! Want to feel it?” She began to crawl towards him, and he rolled his chair back as far as he could to avoid her. Unfortunately this also gave her the perfect view of his still erect penis. “All ready to go? I guess we can jump straight to the fun part!” Cindy crouched down and wiggled her butt in the air, getting ready to pounce.
“I’m not interrupting anything am I?” Ling Ling asked as she stood in the doorway. The ren xiongmao looked upon the scene with a great curiosity, and Chance noticed that she had replaced her usual business attire for a black and white G-string, and a matching micro-bikini top that caused his erection to twitch painfully. Cindy shot the intruder a withering glare that could have killed five people, but Ling Ling kept her ground. A moment of tense silence passed before Cindy realised what she was doing.
“Oh no! I’ve done it again!” the jinko shrieked as she tried to cover herself with her paws. Cindy leapt across the room and mumbled, “I-I’m s-s-sorry…” before running down the hall, and out of sight. As Ling Ling watched her run, Chance took the opportunity to pull himself closer to his desk so that he could hide his rock hard cock once again.
“What’s up with her?” Ling Ling asked as she approached him. “I thought she wasn’t in heat anymore.”
“I don’t know,” Chance admitted. “She just came in here to talk, but then she started acting up.” Ling Ling thought for a moment before she began sniffing at the air.
“Well there’s your problem! Your office smells like dick!”
“N-no it doesn’t!” Chance protested unconvincingly.
“You shouldn’t lie Chance~. We beast-type mamono have very sensitive noses,” Ling Ling explained while she pointed at her nose. “I don’t mind it, but you should probably stop masturbating here if you don’t want some surprise sex.”
“I-I’ll keep that in mind… So is there anything I could help you with?” Chance asked in a desperate attempt to change the subject.
“What? Oh right! I almost forgot! Could you come over to my office to fix my computer? It’s acting funny, and there’s a bunch of pop ups that I can’t seem to get rid of.”
Chance pinched the bridge of his nose and said, “I thought I asked you to stop visiting porn sites.”
“What makes you think I went on those kind of sites?” she argued. “It could have been anyone!”
“Gee, I wonder who would’ve used YOUR computer, in YOUR office, to look for porn.”
“You got me there!” the ren xiongmao admitted cheerfully. “So when can you come fix it?”
“Can it wait for tomorrow?” Chance asked. “I’m not going to have enough time to look at it today.”
“Oh? How come?”
“I’ve got a party to go to today, so I’m leaving early,” Chance explained as he began to put away Mrs. Richardson’s photos.
“Is it going to be a sexy party?” Ling Ling asked as she picked up one of the photos that Chance was reaching for, and looked at it. “Is she going to be there?”
“No and no,” Chance said as he swiped the photo out of the ren xiongmao’s grasp. “It’s just going to be a little kid’s birthday party. Nothing sexy is going to be happening.”
“I don’t know~. I’ve been to some sexy kid’s parties.” Chance looked at her like she admitted to painting using vomit and bile. “What?”
“I don’t really know how to react to that,” Chance admitted. He knew about loli mamono, but he still found the idea of sexually active children disconcerting.
“I’d let it go if I were you,” Ling Ling advised. Chance nodded in agreement, and went back to cleaning his desk. “Can I come?”
“Why do you want to come?” He asked quizzically.
“Because it feels good~!” Ling Ling joked. Chance looked at her with annoyance, and she chuckled. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. No, I was hoping we’d be able to hang out outside of work sometimes.”
“I guess we could, but do you really want to go to this party? I doubt it’ll be exciting, and you won’t know anyone there.”
“I’ll know you~,” Ling Ling coos.
Chance thought it over for a moment before saying, “You got me there. Alright you can come, but you can’t go dressed like that.”
“And why not?”
“Well it’s just… Just not appropriate for this kind of event,” Chance tried to explain without telling her that she looked like a night walker, although he had a feeling that she wouldn’t have minded. He looked at Ling Ling quizzically for a moment before asking, “How did you even get into work today dressed like that?”
“I always dress like this on casual Friday,” Ling Ling said in false indignation.
“But it’s Tuesday.”
“Details,” was all Ling Ling said as she waltzed out of the office. Chance sighed and quickly put his pecker back in his pants. He then finished cleaning his desk, and went back to work. Eventually the time for him to leave arrived, and Chance quickly finished fixing an internet connection issue for a cu sith, and headed back to his office to collect his things.
As he walked into his office, he heard Ling Ling cry out, “Ah! Ah! YEEEESSSSS!” as she finished masturbating in his desk chair. From the sounds of things, she was using his computer to watch some hard-core pornography. Chance also noted that she had at least put on a white t-shirt with little Xs made out of black electrical tape that would cover her nipples. He was less than pleased to see that instead of putting on pants, she had opted to wear a pair of ass-less chaps with her G-string. However, considering that she was Ling Ling that was probably as sensible as she was going to get.
“What did I say about looking at porn with the company computers?”
“Give me a break Chance,” Ling Ling complained. “What else was I supposed to do waiting for you?”
“Literally anything else,” Chance retorted. “And why are you waiting in my office?”
“You never said when we were leaving~,” she said as innocently as she could while she reached for some tissues to clean herself.
“So it’s all my fault then.”
Taken aback by her blunt response, Chance could only reply with, “I see…” He watched Ling Ling clean herself for a moment while he tried to think up a retort. He unfortunately couldn’t think of anything to say, so he began to gather his things to leave, and hoping that Ling Ling didn’t catch him staring. “Do you mind if we stop by the mall first? I need to pick up some stuff, and I said I’d meet some friends there.”
“I don’t mind at all!”
“Thanks,” he said before he left his office with Ling Ling close behind. As they walked down the hall they passed by the IT department. It was mostly devoid of people, which told Chance that everyone was either busy or skipping work. However, one solitary figure sat staring at a computer monitor, in a rolling chair that had been modified to look like a large, stone cross. She was short with shoulder length, frizzy gray hair, and she wore a dark billowy robe. The robe was much too large for her, but Chance knew that it hid her pale skin and a slender frame with developing curves. Or they would be developing if she was alive. The lich turned to face Chance and Ling Ling as they approached, and stared at them. Her face was youthful and attractive, which seemed at odds with her cold, emotionless expression. Chance found her unblinking stare unnerving, almost as if her deep purple eyes were staring at his very soul. “H-hey Verena. How’s it going?”
“I require your assistance,” the youthful looking lich said in a dull monotone.
“I figured as much,” Chance grumbled. He walked towards Verena, hoping that whatever issue she was having could be fixed quickly.
“Your tone of voice signifies discontentment. Have I done anything to warrant your displeasure?” Verena asked. Chance sighed, and had to remind himself that, although Verena was older than she looked, she also came from a world without computers. She had only started using computers when she had started working at the company, and that had only been a couple of weeks ago.
“Sorry about that. I’m kind of in a rush today,” Chance said as he looked at her monitor. “So what are you having trouble with?”
“The device asks for the impossible,” Verena explained, somehow sounding slightly annoyed. “It demands that I press the any key, but I cannot find the any key on the keyboard.”
Chance groaned before asking, “Verena?”
“How did you get hired to work in the IT department?”
“I was hired for my proficiency at making potions and spells,” Verena answered as if she was asked if the sky was blue. “Why must you keep asking that question?”
“Honestly? I’m just hoping that if I keep asking it, one of these days your answer’s going to make sense.”
“I apologize for not making sense,” the lich said in what could have been a glum tone.
“No, I should apologize,” Chance assures. “I keep forgetting that this stuff doesn’t always make sense to you. Although I do remember telling you to ask your husband to teach you some of this stuff.”
“Husband?” Ling Ling asked, sounding confused. “I didn’t realize you were married Rena!”
“My test subject has managed to teach me some basics, but he is usually indisposed,” Verena explained while completely ignoring Ling Ling.
“Indisposed?” Chance asked. “What do you mean?”
“He is generally unavailable to teach me,” Verena coolly explained.
“We are currently not living together.”
“Oh really? This sounds scandalous!” Ling Ling squeed with interest. “Can you tell us what happened? Did you have a fight? Was he cheating on you? Did you cheat on him?” She threw her arm around Verena’s shoulder, and pulled her close. “C’mon, you can tell me~.” Verena said nothing, but she stared unblinkingly at Chance.
“Could you stop that Ling Ling? I don’t think she wants to tell us,” Chance says.
“Why not? It’s not like I’m asking about her sex life,” Ling Ling defended. She then thought about what she just said before adding, “Although I wouldn’t mind if you could tell us some raunchy stories either~.”
“This is starting to look a lot like harassment,” Chance warned. Ling Ling mumbled something about hot buns, before she released Verena from her grasp. “Back to the task at hand, if the computer asks for you to press the any key, it means you can press any key on the keyboard,” Chance explained as he pressed the spacebar to demonstrate. Verena stared at the computer screen as the computer ran its necessary programs, and reboots.
“Thank you. I will remember this in the future,” she calmly stated, her eyes never leaving the screen.
“No problem! Oh, and if your husband still can’t help you figure out this computer stuff, just let me know. I’ll try to fit my schedule somewhere,” Chance offered.
Verena turned to look at him and said, “Thank you. Your assistance will be greatly appreciated.”
“Great! Well, I’ve got to get going now, so I’ll be seeing you later,” Chance said before he resumed his trek back to his car. “Goodbye!”
“Bye, bye Rena!” Ling Ling shouted as she ran to catch up to Chance. As they got further away from the IT department she asked, “So Chance, how’d you know Rena was married?”
“Why do you want to know?” he asked suspiciously.
“Well… The thing is, according to the company grapevine, Rena’s supposed to be single. So spill the beans, how do you know she’s married?”
“Well, I just put two and two together,” Chance humbly explained. “I was talking to her the other day, and she mentioned something about her test subject. I remembered that someone told me that’s what liches call their spouses, and figured that meant she was married.”
“I guess that makes sense.”
“Say Ling Ling, did anyone in the grapevine mention anything about Verena having a hard time learning stuff, or something like that”
“Do you remember how Verena said that her husband taught her computer basics?” Chance asked. Ling Ling nodded, and he said, “The thing is that I went over the basics with her when she first started.”
“I see. That is weird…” Ling Ling agreed. “I’ll have to ask around for that one.” Meanwhile, Verena continued to watch Chance and Ling Ling walk away. A pale hand came out from under her robes, and she examined the ring that she kept on her finger. It was a simple ring with a bland design, and a single red gemstone. The ring itself was worthless, but the gem was priceless to the lich as it held her soul. She returned her gaze to Chance and Ling Ling, and felt her phylactery burn with longing, pent up desire, and jealousy.
Verena muttered, “Soon,” before turning away from her future test subject and the perverted panda. There, to her dull surprise, a dormouse wearing purple pajamas covered in weresheep had taken up residence on the confounding computer’s keyboard. “Hello Gale,” Verena greeted. Gale snored, and Verena replied with, “That is none of your concern. Now why are you here?” Gale snored again, and did a cute sleep squeak. “I understand that Ms. Hisakawa wants it done quickly, but it simply can’t be rushed. To get the effects she requires, I need to use components whose reactions can be extremely volatile when combined. There are also some unforeseen issues that have arisen that need to be resolved.” The dormouse muttered something intelligible. “I am certain that it can be done, but I require more time.” Gale snorted, and rolled onto her side. “There is no need for you to take that kind of tone with me. As long as Ms. Hisakawa keeps her end of our agreement, then there will be no issues.”
Aside from a sudden chill that ran down Chance’s back, the trek to his car was uneventful. Once inside, Chance and Ling Ling drove to the local shopping mall. For a mall it wasn’t very large, but it had a good variety stores. More importantly, it was connected to the local Walmart, which had become the major source of new goods in the city. This was because, after the “Opening”, Aleena had created a barrier around the city. If the witch he overheard the other day was right, the city was now undetectable from the outside, and any attempt to find it would end in failure. Unfortunately, while it kept the mamono from being discovered by the outside world, it also brought about its own set of problems. The biggest issue was the lack of resources in the city, especially food. According to the rumours, Aleena had approached the CEO of Walmart to make a deal. Whatever deal this was, it allowed a specialized trucks to come into town twice a week with food and other goods. Granted, most of this was just rumors, and as Chance pulled into the mall parking lot he decided that he should ask Aleena about it. However he realized that she’d probably prefer to whisper sweet nothings into his ear.
“We’re here,” Chance announced as he parked the car and turned off the ignition, interrupting Ling Ling’s retelling of her new favorite video on Pornhub.
“Already? And just as I was getting to the best part!” Ling Ling whined.
“I doubt anything that involves doing THAT with an orange even has a best part.” Ling Ling laughed as they exited the car and made their way to the mall. Once inside, they both marveled at the bustling activity. With their access to new products severely limited, many of the stores had begun to sell mamono based goods to compensate. Everywhere they looked they could see arachne selling custom made clothes, trolls selling food grown from their gardens, cyclopses and dwarves showing off their craftwork. Chance felt that it now looked more like a bazaar than a mall now. They headed towards the food court, and Chance kept looking at all of the different stores and their new wares. One store in particular happened to catch his attention, and he stopped to look at it closer. It was a pharmacy run by a shady looking gyoubu danuki, although Chance was more interested in a sign which read “Attention! All date rape drugs 10% off!” He was astounded by audacity of the sign, and wondered if this was where Pasiphaë had gotten that drug last month.
“Hey Chance! What are you doing?” Ling Ling asked after she noticed that Chance wasn’t walking with her anymore.
“Sorry, I just saw a… thing…” Chance answered as he hurried to catch up with her. Unfortunately his attention was still on the pharmacy’s sign, and he crashed into a woman. She looked like a human woman with light brown skin, but Chance knew that there were a few mamono who did as well. Since the chances of her actually being a human woman were slim, Chance tried to look for clues to her true identity, but he was having a hard time. Her baggy grey t-shirt and blue jeans made it hard to see if she had any curves, but her exposed arms were slim and muscular. She had a beautiful face, but a large pair of aviator sunglasses and a big grey ball cap. Most of her dark pink hair was also hidden by the cap, but Chance could see some strands of it poking out.
“Sorry about that! I wasn’t paying attention!” he quickly apologized. The woman looked at him for a moment before waving her hands in front of her, as if she was saying that everything was ok. “Are you ok?” The woman stopped waving her hands, and began to nod. “That’s good.”
“Chance! Hurry up!” Ling Ling called impatiently.
“I’ll be right there!” Chance called back. “Sorry about bumping into you ma’am!” The woman watched as Chance ran after Ling Ling. As he apologized to the ren xiongmao, the woman pulled down her aviators, which revealed her heart filled, fuchsia colored eyes, to get a better look at them. She pushed her aviators back up, and waited for them to start moving again before she started following behind them. Oblivious to their new stalker, Chance and Ling Ling arrived at the food court. Chance scanned the crowd until he spotted a lizardman and a werecat sitting at a nearby table. The lizardman was much taller than her werecat companion, and Chance knew from experience that she was slightly taller than he was. Her skin was lightly tanned, and she was quite muscular. Her hair was a dark orange with splotchy black stripes, and was kept in a short ponytail. Her scaled limbs and tail were a lighter shade of orange with more black stripes. Her eyes were yellow, and her face looked like she found anything and everything incredibly annoying. Today she was wearing khaki shorts and a plain white blouse, which she kept untucked and hugged her C cup breasts. The werecat in comparison, was short, pale, and slim. Her hair was black, and came down to her shoulders. Her furry limbs, ears, and tail were pure white except for the black tips on her ears and tail. She wore a white hoodie that she left unzipped to show its red interior fabric, and a white t-shirt. She also wore a pair of light brown baggy pants, and a “utility belt” with the Assassin’s Creed insignia for a belt buckle.
“Uh… Chance?” Ling Ling asked. “I have to use the little panda’s room. Do you mind if I go to the washroom?”
“It’s fine. I’ll be over there with those two,” Chance said as he pointed towards the table occupied by the two mamono. Ling Ling nodded before she left, and Chance thought he saw the woman he had bumped into earlier as he watched her leave. He reasoned that he was probably seeing things, and approached the table where his friends were sitting.
“I’m not dressing up,” the lizardman said with a growl.
“But you have to Gloria!” the werecat pleaded. “You’d make a perfect argonian!”
“I don’t have to do shit,” Gloria snarled. “If you want to play dress up so much you should ask Chance.”
“I was going to ask him anyway! I was hoping we could all do it together!”
“Just leave her alone Lucia,” Chance said as he stood next to the table. “It’s not her fault she’s chicken.” Gloria somehow manages to look even more irritated, while Lucia began to space out at the mention of chicken.
“Nice try smartass, but I see what you’re trying to do,” Gloria accused.
“I’m not trying to do anything.”
“Just how dumb do you think I am?”
“Are you being sarcastic, or are you genuinely curious?”
“Guess.” Gloria and Chance glare at each other before they both burst into laughter. The sudden noise shocked Lucia back into reality.
“Chance!” the werecat cried out as she jumped out of her seat to give him a hug. She nuzzled against his chest, accidentally wiping her drool on his shirt. “I’ve missed you!”
“I guess it has been a while, hasn’t it?” Chance asked.
“Not quite long enough,” Gloria grumbled, but she didn’t try to hide her smile. Lucia then let go of Chance so that they could both sit down.
“So what’d I miss?” Chance asked.
“Lucia’s trying to get her dad to plan one of those big nerd meet ups, and wants us to dress up.”
“Stop calling it that!” Lucia shouted with her ears and tails bristling. “It’s going to be a gaming/anime/comic convention!”
“Like I said, big nerd meet up,” Gloria joked as Lucia growled before turning away to pout.
“Well I think it sounds interesting, but why?” Chance asked.
“It’s because the city hasn’t done anything big since the ‘Opening’,” Lucia explained. “We need to do something big to get everyone together to have a good time!”
“If that’s the case, you’d probably get a better turn out if you organized a fighting tournament,” Gloria suggested as she pulled out a reusable water bottle for a quick drink.
“Or an orgy,” Chance offered absentmindedly. An awkward silence immediately fell upon the group. Everyone began to blush, and Lucia covered her face with her hands as Chance said. “W-well it would.”
“I don’t care, it’s still perverted as fuck!” Gloria scolded. “Seriously, get your head out of the gutter you sick bastard.”
“I-I d-don’t think I-d be able t-to d-do it with s-so m-many people! M-maybe if it were j-just t-two or t-three, but…” Lucia stammered before she noticed her two friends looking at her in shock. “I-I m-mean I-I w-wouldn’t d-do it w-with j-just any… I MEAN I WOULDN’T DO IT AT ALL! I m-mean I-I would! I-I mean..! EEP!” After having completely embarrassed herself, Lucia tried to hide in her hoody.
After staring at Lucia for a short eternity, Gloria turned to Chance and said, “I think we should forget that this ever happened.”
“I agree,” Chance said solemnly.
“T-thank you…” Lucia mumbled.
“So to help put this in the past, we should get started with our shopping,” Gloria said.
“Actually, could we wait a minute?” Chance asked. “I still need to wait for someone.”
“Oh? And who are we waiting for?”
“Me!” Ling Ling announced as she hugged Chance from behind. He began to blush as he realized that she was pressing her breasts against the back of his head.
“A-and w-who a-are y-you?” Lucia timidly asked.
“His lover~!” The whole world seemed to fall quiet at Ling Ling’s words. Lucia’s face palled, and she began to hyperventilate. Meanwhile Gloria crushed her hard plastic bottle with her claws, and gave Chance a look that was cold and murderous.
“It’s not like that!” Chance quickly explained. “She’s a friend from work who wanted to hang out for a bit! Honest!”
“Oh?” was all Gloria said as she turned her attention to Ling Ling.
“Hehe, it’s true,” Ling Ling laughed, completely unaffected by Gloria’s glare. “I’m Ling Ling. Sorry if my little joke upset you.”
Gloria’s gaze softened, and she said, “Upset? I’m not upset. It’s just that the idea that this wimp got himself a girlfriend is so implausible that it must have overloaded my brain.”
“Hey! I’m not a wimp!” Chance complained.
“Of course you are! You’re just a weepy wittle weakwing!”
“Hey, I beat you once! That’s got to count for something!”
“Yeah, but that happened years ago. It has as much bearing over what you are today as the fact that you used to wet the bed till you were nine!”
“H-hey! I thought we agreed to never bring that stuff up in public!”
“I guess I forgot,” Gloria said with a smug smile. Chance glared at her, and she responded by sticking out her tongue.
After a moment Chance said, “Oh! I forgot to introduce everyone! Ling Ling, this backstabbing lizard with an attitude problem is Gloria. We both went to the same karate class back in elementary school. Nowadays she runs her own martial arts dojo.”
Ling Ling removed herself from Chance to bow and say, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Likewise,” Gloria replied with a quick bow of her head.
“And this little kitty is Lucia. Our moms were friends back in college, and we’ve known each other for…” Chance paused to think before continuing his introduction. “Well, as long as I can remember anyway.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well,” Ling Ling said with another bow. Lucia avoided her gaze, and waved her paw as she shook nervously.
“Sorry,” Chance apologized. “She can be a little shy around new people.”
“That’s fine! It’s nothing a little skinship can’t fix!” Ling Ling announced as she moved closer to Lucia. She werecat let out a surprised ‘Meowr!’ as the ren xiongmao pulled her into a hug. Her face got buried into Ling Ling’s generous bosom, and she began to blush furiously. “So Lucia, what do you do?”
“She doesn’t really do anything,” Gloria answered with an awkward cough. “Her mom’s a lawyer and her dad made a killing in real estate, so she just stays home and spends all of her allowance on nerd stuff.”
“It’s not nerd stuff!” Lucia mumbles into Ling Ling’s breasts while her tail bristles.
“Ok… Well anyway, I think we’ve spent enough time sitting around talking,” Chance awkwardly announced. “Why don’t we get started on our shopping?” Lucia nodded her head, which caused Ling Ling to giggle.
“Hehe! So what are we going to get first?” Ling Ling asked as she released Lucia from her grasp. Chance quickly got out of his seat to hold up the dizzy, blushing werecat.
“I don’t care as long as we hit the liquor mart before we leave,” Gloria said as she stood up. The group began to make their way out of the food court, with the mysterious woman following closely behind.
“You are aware that this party is for a six year old right?” Chance asked.
“Of course!” Gloria answered. “And that’s why I want to get some booze!” Chance sighed with disgust before he focused all his attention on obtaining the necessary party supplies. They went from store to store, buying paper plates, drinks, candies, and other things Chance had been told to bring. They even took some time to buy some presents for the birthday girl. After they finished their shopping, they all piled into Chance’s car. As they were busy getting into the vehicle, none of them noticed the mysterious woman pull out a camera, and begin to take pictures of Chance and his car. She waited until they left the parking lot before silently walking away.
The car ride to the residential area of the city was long and cramped. They had spent a little too much time at the mall, and the traffic had worsened considerably. With the car’s interior filled with people and party supplies, the trip to the party was very uncomfortable. When they arrived at Chance’s parents’ house, everyone stood and stretched, some more seductively than others, before pulling their supplies out of the car. Chance then went to the back of his car, and opened his trunk. Inside was a large box covered in pink wrapping paper covered little cartoon birthday cakes, which had almost completely filled up the trunk space. While it made the trip more uncomfortable than it needed to be, Chance was happy that he thought to hide it in his car the night before. He shuddered as he thought of what it would have been like trying to carry it with all the harpies. He quickly repressed the thought, picked up the present, and made his way to the door.
After he pushed the doorbell, he heard a muffled “I’ll get it!” from behind the door. After some shuffling, a man opened the door. He looked a lot like Chance, except he was older and had a few gray hairs peppering his hair. “Chance! You’re here! What took you?”
“We got caught in some traffic on the way here dad,” Chance explained.
“That does make sense. Your mother was just getting worried since dinner’s almost ready. And I see you brought Lucia and Gloria!”
“Hey Dylan,” Gloria said.
“H-hello Mr. Blythe,” Lucia squeaked.
“How many times have I told you Lucia? You can call me Dylan,” Dylan said before he caught sight of Ling Ling. “And who’s this beautiful creature?”
“I’m Ling Ling. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Ling Ling said with a giggle and a bow.
“Please, the pleasure’s all mine. So what brings you to our humble abode?”
“I’ve been wanting to get the chance to meet you ever since I became your son’s lover~.” Everyone groaned in annoyance, except for Dylan who began to laugh, and gave Chance a thumbs up.
“N-no dad, it’s not like that! She’s a friend from work!” Chance quickly explained.
“So that’s what they’re calling it now?” Dylan asked with a snicker.
“No they don’t!”
“I-I’m sorry, b-but c-can we c-continue t-this inside?” Lucia asked as she began to struggle to hold some overladen grocery bags. “T-this is getting heavy…”
“Sorry about that!” Dylan said as he stepped aside. “Come on in! Make yourselves at home!” Once everyone had made their way inside, Dylan closed the door behind them, and grabbed one of the bags that Lucia was struggling with. “Let’s just put this in the dining room for now.” They followed Dylan down a narrow hallway, which eventually came to a large dining room that connected to the kitchen in the back. Inside was a large wooden table surrounded by matching chairs. As Chance placed his gift on the table like the others, he noticed a goblin at the end of the table. She was busy carving what looked to be a duck out of a block of wood, and was too engrossed in her work to notice the newcomers. Her hair was dark brown, and was kept in a ponytail that came down past her shoulder. The pink t-shirt with ‘Party Girl’ emblazoned on the front, and the blue jeans she wore were dirty with dust and grease.
“Hey Amalia,” Chance greeted. The goblin stopped carving and looked over at Chance before returning to her work.
“Hey Chance. Long time, no see,” she said in a gruff voice.
“It sure has been,” Chance agreed. He walked up to her and asked, “What’re you up to?”
“Just carving a duck. One of the neighbors wanted some for her koi pond, so she commissioned me,” Amalia explained as she continued to carve. “This one’s going to be number five.”
“Cool. It looks really good, almost as if it’s a real.”
“CHANCE!!!” a voice cried out. He turned to face the voice, and found another goblin barreling towards him at full speed, her long, wavy chestnut hair trailing behind her. Chance had just enough time to see that she was wearing a black t-shirt with white splotches and ‘Semen Demon’ written on the front with a pair of matching shorts, before she jumped into him and knocked him to the ground. She clung to him, and began to nuzzle against his chest while shouting, “My big beautiful baby boy! I’ve missed you so much!”
“It’s nice to see you too Frida,” Chance moaned, still dazed by his unexpected trip to the floor. Frida stopped nuzzling him to look him straight in the eye.
“Chance! I keep telling you to call me mom!” Frida whined.
“He doesn’t have to call you anything if he doesn’t want to Frida,” Amalia said without looking away from her duck carving. “Besides, you’re not even his real mom.”
“Yes I am! We married Dylan, so we are his moms just as much as Brook!”
“What’s going on?” Ling Ling asked cautiously. Amalia heard her, and quickly glanced at the ren xiongmao.
“I wouldn’t worry about it,” Amalia said as she went back to her carving. “Frida just really wanted a kid for some reason.”
“It’s not like that!” Frida protested as she quickly got off of Chance, and stormed towards the other goblin.
“What are you talking about?” Amalia asked as she shot Frida an annoyed look. “You’ve always wanted a son.”
“But there’s more to it than that!” Frida complained. “You’re making me sound like some sort of cradle robber!”
“But didn’t you..?”
“That only happened once, and it doesn’t count!”
“Fine. Then how did you want me to tell them?”
“You could have put more backstory into it!” Frida explained. “You could have said that when I began apprenticing under our storyteller, my cousin got married. Her husband had a child from a previous marriage, and they frequently asked me to watch over him when they needed to leave the village. I became enamored with the child, and soon I began to desire a son of my own. Unfortunately, I couldn’t leave our village to find a man with his own son, but I never gave up on my dream! Then one day, as if to answer my prayers, a portal opened up, and we wound up in this strange new world. Lost and confused, I explored this world with some of my compatriots until we met Dylan. He brought us into his home, and-”
“Your story’s taking too long,” Amalia complained. “Besides, I didn’t even know about half of the stuff you said.”
“How rude! And to think that I bothered to learn your life’s story front to back!”
“I never asked you to!”
“Well sorry for not getting your permission, oh great Amalia of the golden forge!”
“Stop calling me that!”
Ling Ling turned to Dylan and said, “Explain,” as the two gobbling began to fight.
“Uh… Well from what I understand, Amalia’s from a fairly famous family of blacksmiths, while Frida was training to be their clan’s historian,” Dylan explained.
“And they don’t get along?”
“Sometimes. They get along better in bed though.”
“I see,” Ling Ling said as her attention shifted from the brawling goblins to watch Chance pick himself up off the floor. “Should we help them?”
Dylan was about to answer when someone yelled, “WHAT’S GOING ON IN HERE?!” Everyone looked towards the kitchen entrance to find a rather cross looking goblin, and an orc carrying a young hobgoblin. The goblin had very short black hair with white and gray steaks, and horns that were painted gray. She wore one of Chance’s old Black Sabbath t-shirts and an old pair of shorts that came down to her ankles. The orc was slightly shorter than Chance, and was very curvy. Her hair was dark pink, short, and messy with some of her wayward curls looking like her curly tail. Her porcine ears were floppy, and she was wearing a tight pair of blue jeans and a blue blouse that clung to her so tightly that it would have looked erotic if not for the ‘Kiss Ye Cook’ apron she wore over it. The hobgoblin was a cute little thing that could have easily been mistaken for a goblin if not for her mismatched horns and her budding breasts. Her hair was a shocking red and was kept in short pig-tails, and her eyes were a brilliant emerald green that shone with youthful vitality. Today she wore a pink princess dress with a plastic tiara.
“N-nothing!” Frida squeaked.
“Y-yeah Romilda! N-nothing g-going on in here!” Amalia quickly agreed.
“Nothing?” Romilda asked as she crossed her arms. Her cold blue eyes narrowed with suspicion as she said, “That sure was a lot of racket for nothing.”
“Maybe we were just hearing things?” the orc asked in a calm, soothing voice. Frida and Amalia energetically nodded in agreement, but Romilda seemed unconvinced.
“I don’t know Brook. It sounded like there were a couple of goblins getting rowdy in here.”
“I’m sure Dylan would have stopped them if they were getting out of hand. Right honey?”
“Of course sugar buns!” Dylan said with an exaggerated salute.
“See Romie, you’re just…” Brook stopped talking as she saw Chance. She began to smile as she said, “Hey Chance! Sorry I didn’t see you there!”
“Its fine mom,” Chance said as he too began to smile. His smile grew even wider when he noticed the hobgoblin begin to squirm in his mother’s grasp. “And who’s that cute little thing you’re holding?”
“It’s me Chance!” the hobgoblin announced excitedly.
“Me? I don’t know anyone named Me. Maybe if I could get a closer look?” Brook placed the hobgoblin on the ground, and the kid ran towards Chance with her arms opened wide. Chance knelt down to accept the incoming hug, but he had to catch her when she tripped over her own feet. “Are you ok Goddie?! Did you hurt yourself?”
“No~! And you can’t call me Goddie today!”
“Oh? How come?”
“Because I’m Princess Godiva the first today!” At Godiva’s announcement, Chance silently mourned for the latest innocent victim of the Disney princesses.
“I can live with that,” Chance accepted. “But what’s so special about today?”
“IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!!” Godiva shouted in excitement.
“Really?” Chance asked in exaggerated surprise. “That’s amazing princess! So how old are you now?”
“This much!” Godiva announced as she held up six fingers.
“Six? Does that mean you’re a big girl now? You do look a little taller.”
“My boobies are bigger too!” the hobgoblin princess proudly announced. Chance couldn’t help but glance down to see the slight bulges in her dress.
“I-I see… You are getting pretty big…”
“They’re bigger than Auntie Frida’s now!” Godiva excitedly explained. Frida silently rubbed her chest and sighed in defeat. “Do you want to touch them?”
“W-what?!” Chance asked, completely flabbergasted.
“Do you want to touch my boobies?” Godiva innocently repeated. “They’re really soft!”
“I-I… Well… M-maybe…” Chance mumbled. He didn’t really know what to do in this situation. Godiva noticed his apprehension, and her bright smile turned into a dejected frown.
“You don’t want too…” she said sadly. The young hobgoblin looked as if she would never be happy again, and it tore Chance’s heart in two.
“Touch her boobies Chance,” Romilda ordered. At Romilda’s stern command, Chance almost reached up to touch the young hobgoblin’s breasts, but he stopped when he noticed that she had begun to smile mischievously.
“It’s ok Chance. If you don’t want to touch them, you don’t have to,” Godiva calmly announced. She separated herself from him, and reached down her dress to pull what looked to be a red gumball from between her breasts. “But if you don’t, then you have to eat this!”
“O-ok… Thanks,” Chance said as he accepted the red ball. He was a little suspicious of it, but he popped it into his mouth regardless. “Hmm. Hot? HOOOT!!!” Chance screamed as his mouth was overcome with the overpowering cinnamon flavour of the Atomic Fireball. He shot up as everyone began to roar with laughter.
He was going to spit out the burning candy when Romilda said, “Don’t even think about spitting that out Chance! Lady Godiva gave you a choice, so you need to take responsibility for your decision!” Chance whined as Brook walked up to Gloria and Lucia, and gave them a big hug.
“It’s so good to see you two again!” Brook squealed as she ignored Lucia’s embarrassed flailing. “It’s been far too long!”
“Sorry about that. I’d love to come by more often, but I’ve been too busy lately,” Gloria explained.
“M-Mrs. B-Blythe’s b-b-breasts! S-so soft…” Lucia muttered to herself.
“That makes sense. It’s just been crazy around here since the mamono showed up,” Brook agreed.
“Sugar buns?” Dylan interrupted.
“I think you can let them go now.”
“Hm? Oh! Right! Sorry!” Brook said as she quickly let go of the two mamono. When she finished apologizing, Brook finally noticed Ling Ling. “Oh hello! Sorry, I didn’t see you standing there. My name’s Brook, and I’m Chance’s mother if you haven’t guessed.”
“It’s ok. I’m Ling Ling, and it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Ling Ling said with a bow.
“Charmed,” Brook said with a giggle and a curtsy. Godiva looked stared at Ling Ling’s chest in shock and envy.
“Ling Ling huh?” Romilda said as she turned her attention to the busty ren xiongmao. “I haven’t heard anything about you before… So how do you know Chance?”
Ling Ling ignored the accusatorial edge of the question, and jokingly answered, “I’m his lover!” She immediately began to regret her decision when a sudden tension filled the air. Romilda’s brow furrowed as she turned her attention back to Chance.
“This is the first I’ve heard of this. Care to explain yourself?” she asked coolly.
Chance spit out what was left of the Fireball and said, “I-it’s not like that! She’s just joking!”
“Were you?” Romilda asked as she glared at Ling Ling. The ren xiongmao flinched, and began to sweat nervously. “Were you?!”
“Y-yeah! I was definitely joking!” Ling Ling nervously announced. “We’re friends from work, and I usually keep him out of trouble!” Romilda continued to glare at her until Brook audibly cleared her throat.
“Romie, what have I told you about giving our guests the third degree?” Brook asked calmly.
It was Romilda’s turn to sweat nervously as she answered with, “Not to?”
“That’s right. I know you’re just trying to make sure that Goddie will be able to marry Chance like we promised, but that doesn’t mean you have to chase off every woman that he meets,” Brook gently scolded. “Now apologize.”
“S-sorry Ling Ling…”
“I-it’s fine!” Ling Ling quickly said. “It was a stupid joke! I really shouldn’t have been saying stuff like that to people I don’t know!”
Brook smiled before saying, “It’s good to see everyone getting along again. Now then, dinner’s almost ready. Could you come help me finish Romie?” Romilda nodded silently before following Brook to the kitchen. Godiva gave Chance’s legs a quick hug before running after the two of them.
“Well that was scary…” Ling Ling announced as she sat down. “Who’d have thought that goblins could be so threatening?”
“Hey now, we goblins can be pretty tough,” Amalia grumbled.
“That’s true, but you can’t really compare regular goblins like us to Romilda though,” Frida corrected.
Dylan arched an eyebrow and asked, “What do you mean by that?”
“Well, she is the oldest and strongest warrior from our village,” Frida explained. “It wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to say that she’s a living legend in our tribe.”
“Now that sounds interesting,” said the clearly intrigued Gloria. “So how strong is she?”
“I don’t know. Pretty strong I guess,” Frida haphazardly explained. Everyone stared at Frida silently as they waited for an explanation.
“Uh Frida? Could you maybe give them an example or something?” Amalia asked.
“I THOUGHT YOU’D NEVER ASK!!!” Frida pulled out a chair, and quickly jumped onto it. She turned to face her audience and said, “Gather round everyone! Gather round, and I shall tell you the tale of how Romilda Ironskin earned her name!” Frida waited for everyone to sit down before continuing. “Long ago when Romilda, daughter of Albert and Edda, had first become a warrior for her tribe, a great dragon named Casarial attacked the village, and kidnapped the chieftain’s fiancé! The chieftain was heartbroken. She believed that no goblin could match the might of a dragon, and thought that her love was lost forever. Most of the warriors agreed with her, except for Romilda. That night, Romilda snuck out of the village with her mighty war hammer, and made the trek up to the cave in the mountains that Casarial had claimed as her own. She fought with the beast for a night and a day before she finally struck down the fell dragon, and rescued the chieftain’s fiancé. The next day, the village awoke to find that Romilda had carried the chieftain’s fiancé back down from the mountain unharmed. Romilda on the other hand was naked, had several burns, and had her hair mostly burned away. However the chieftain noticed that she bore no cut or bruise, and honored her with the name of Ironskin!” The room fell silent as Frida finished her story.
“S-she f-fought a d-dragon…” Lucia stuttered as her eyes opened wide with shock.
“And won!” Gloria finished with an excited smile growing on her face.
“I guess that explains that ‘get out of here if you want to live’ feeling I got earlier…” Ling Ling said with a strained smile.
“If it makes you feel any better, I asked her about it and she said that Casarial was a dragon pup that had just left the nest,” Amalia explained. “But that was about fifty years ago, so who knows what she might be capable of now.”
“That’s crazy…” Chance muttered to himself. “I wonder how mom can just boss her around like that.”
Dylan laughed as he said, “To think that we had a goblin celebrity in our house, and we didn’t even realize it!”
“She probably prefers it that way,” Amalia said. “Her fame back home made her job harder than it needed to be.”
“What did she do?” Chance asked.
Frida cleared her throat and answered with, “After fighting Casarial, Romilda became the personal guardian of the chieftain and her family. Before we were sucked into the portal, she’d been assigned to keep the chieftain’s granddaughter, Lady Godiva, safe as she visited another goblin village.”
“Well that explains why she’s so protective of Goddie, but why does she get so… scary when I interact with other women?” Chance asked, unsure if he wanted to hear the answer.
“That’s an easy one. She’s hoping to get a piece of you after Godiva’s done with you,” Amalia replied.
“She’s a cougar Chance, and you’re the kind of ‘prey’ that she likes to hunt.”
“I heard that!” Romilda announced as she entered the dining room with Brook and Godiva. Brook and Romilda were carrying pots full of food and some cutlery, while Godiva proudly carried a plate and a fork. “I’d appreciate it if you’d stop telling people your tall tales about me.”
“They are not tall tales! They are one hundred percent historically accurate stories of our tribe!” Frida argued angrily. “And according to those stories, out of the forty two cases of men falling for your strength and beauty, only thirty have you possibly returning their feelings! And twenty five of those involve younger men!”
“I don’t know if you’ve realized this yet, but your teacher was a hopeless romantic Frida,” Romilda said in an annoyed tone. She placed her cutlery on the table before saying, “She was always adding some sort of romance to her stories.”
“Then why didn’t you get married to Dylan like Frida and me?” Amalia asked. “It doesn’t make sense, unless you’re after younger prey.”
“That is none of your business,” Romilda said as she shot Amalia a dirty look.
Godiva tugged on Brook’s apron before asking, “Mrs. Brook?”
“Yes princess?” the orc replied.
“What’s a cougar?”
“Um… Let’s see… It’s an older lady that likes to date younger men.”
“Does that mean Auntie Romie wants to marry Chance too?”
“N-n-no it doesn’t Lady Godiva!!!” Romilda shouted as her face went red with embarrassment. “T-to even imply t-that I’d want to have a relationship with a man who’s been promised to you is outrageous, regardless of how handsome he is!”
“T-to think that I’d actually see a tsundere in real life…” Lucia mumbled quietly to herself.
“That’s some serious denial,” Ling Ling said with a chuckle.
“It’s ok Auntie Romie!” Godiva said with a cheery smile. “I’m a big girl now, so I know how important it is to share!”
Romilda stood in stunned, embarrassed silence before muttering, “T-thank you Lady Godiva…”
Dylan threw his arm around his son’s shoulder and said, “So Romilda thinks you’re handsome? You lucky dog!”
“Not. Another. Word,” Romilda growled as she glared at Dylan. The deep scarlet blush on her face made her glare more intense, and both men flinched. Brook gave Chance a thumbs up before she started to set the table.
“Mrs. Brook?” Godiva asked again. “If Auntie Romie’s a cougar because she’s older than Chance, does that mean I’m a kitten since I’m younger than him?” Brook had removed the lid from the pot that contained the macaroni and cheese with hotdog chunks before she stopped to think over the hobgoblin’s question. While she was thinking, everyone started to sit down.
“I don’t know… Maybe?” Brook eventually said.
“Yay!” Godiva cheered before she ran to where Chance was sitting. She climbed onto his lap, and looked up to him with a smile. “I’m your cute little kitten princess Chance! Mew, Mew!”
“I guess you are,” Chance agreed as he began to affectionately pet her head. The hobgoblin began to purr in delight, which earned Chance an unimpressed look from Lucia.
“I-it’s not fair…” Lucia whined under her breath. She also moved her paw to hide her bleeding nose. “I-I bet she’ll be asking f-for c-cummies next…”
“You doing ok Lucia?” Gloria suddenly asked, shocking the werecat.
“Ok. Want some booze?” Gloria quietly asked as she pulled out the Blue Oni Sake she had bought at the mall.
“M-maybe later…” Brook began to serve everyone a heaping pile of macaroni, and everyone began to eat. Godiva insisted on having Chance feed her since she was the birthday girl, and he eventually caved to her demands. Amalia, Dylan, Gloria, Ling Ling and Romilda had begun to drink Gloria’s sake and were becoming quite boisterous, while Brook and Frida were having a pleasant conversation with their son. Lucia silently ate her meal, and only added her two cents every once in a while. After they finished their meal, Chance distracted the birthday girl while Dylan and Brook snuck into the kitchen. Lucia and Gloria began to smile when they realized what was going on, but the other mamono wondered at what was going on. Suddenly, the room went dark.
“H-hey! Who turned out the lights?” asked a surprised Ling Ling.
“I-It’s dark! Why’s it dark?” Godiva worriedly asked.
“Calm down Goddie,” Amalia assured. “It’s probably just a power outage.”
“Oooo! How unlucky!” Frida groaned.
“Very unlucky,” Romilda solemnly agreed. “It looks like we’ll need to go to the power company, and let them know the price of ruining Lady Godiva’s birthday!” After Romilda’s proclamation, everyone noticed a faint glow coming from the direction of the kitchen. They turned to see what was going on, and found Brook carrying a birthday cake with six candles on top. Dylan, who was standing next to the light switch, began to sing Happy Birthday as Brook made her way to the table. Chance, Gloria, and Lucia joined in, and the others tried to hum along since they didn’t know the words. Godiva stared at the large chocolate covered cake in awe as Brook placed it in front of her. Dylan turned the lights back on when they finished singing, and pulled out a digital camera to take some pictures of the surprised birthday girl.
“All right princess, time to make a wish and blow out the candles,” Chance said.
“A wish?” the young hobgoblin asked.
“Yup! Make a wish, and it’ll come true if you can blow out all the candles!”
“Really?! Than can I wish fo-“
“You can wish for anything you want Goddie,” Brook explained. “But you need to keep it a secret or it won’t come true.”
“Ok!” Godiva took a moment to think about her wish. She didn’t seem to know what she wanted, until she looked over towards Ling Ling. The hobgoblin rubbed at her developing chest with a serious look on her face before she blew out her candles. Everyone cheered when the last candle went out, and the young hobgoblin smiled with pride. Brook then took out the candles before she cut up the cake. Everyone got a piece, and it wasn’t long before they were all enjoying it.
After everyone was finished with their cake, Dylan asked, “So princess, do you want to open your presents?”
“Yes yes yes yes yes!” Godiva squealed before she jumped off of Chance’s lap. She ran to where her presents had been piled up, and excitedly tried to figure out which one she should open first. Ling Ling helped her by pushing the one she had bought closer to the hobgoblin, and thus began the frenzy. Godiva energetically opened every present, and she squealed with delight at every new toy she received. She would then politely thank whoever bought the gift before moving onto the next one. Dylan made sure to take a picture of her every reaction. Eventually it was time to open Chance’s gift, and Godiva opened it more fervently than she did the others. Eventually she pulled a fuzzy pink teddy bear as big as she was out of the box, and stared at it silently.
“S-so do you like it princess?” Chance asked nervously.
“IT’S PERFECT!!!” Godiva shouted as she hugged the doll. She then ran over to Chance, and jumped back onto his lap to hug his neck. “Thank you thank you thank you! I LOVE it! I LOVE you! Thank you!” Chance was a little surprised at her reaction, but he hugged Godiva back and kissed her cheek.
“Gloria..?” Lucia solemnly asked.
“What’s up Lucia?” the lizardman replied.
“I think I’ll have that drink now…”
“Alright.” Gloria grabbed an empty glass, and poured some sake into it. “Here you go Lucia.”
“Thanks Gloria…” Lucia took the drink, and stared at it for a second before she took a sip. She immediately began to sway back and forth, and collapsed onto the table after she put down her drink.
“What’s going on?” Frida worriedly asked.
“It looks like Lucia got drunk and passed out,” Romilda answered.
“She can’t be drunk,” Amalia argued. “She only had one sip of alcohol all night!”
“Oh dear… You didn’t give her any alcohol Gloria?” Brook asked.
“H-hey! It’s not my fault the pussy can’t handle her booze!” Gloria defended.
“But you gave her some anyway,” Dylan sighed. He looked over at Lucia and smiled. “It’s kind of impressive when you think about it. Just one sip, and she’s out like a light!”
“Dad!” Chance chastised before he turned his attention back to Lucia. “Are you ok Lucia?”
“Its nyot fair…” the werecat whined.
“What’s not fair?”
“It’s nyot fair!” Lucia repeated as she drunkenly picked herself off the table. Her pale face had turned a deep red, and she had begun to cry. “Nyou already had a kitteh to love nyand play with, but nyooo! Nyou had to replace me with a nyewer, cuter kitteh!”
“I’m not trying to replace you Lucia!” Chance assured. “I don’t know what brought this on, but we’ll always be friends!”
“But I don’t want to be friends!” Lucia drunkenly shouted. “I love nyou and Gloria sooo much!”
“Alright Lucia. That’s enough of that,” Gloria said as she helped the drunken werecat stay in her chair. “We don’t want you to embarrass yourself any-” Everyone stared in shock as Lucia interrupted Gloria with a sudden, drunken kiss. She threw a paw around the lizardman’s neck to keep her close while she clumsily groped at Gloria’s breast with the other.
“Oh my~! This party really got interesting!” Ling Ling said with a perverse chuckle. Lucia eventually ended her kiss, and stared at Gloria dreamily as she caught her breath.
“W-w-what’s that all about?!” Gloria demanded as her face grew a few shades of red.
“I said I love nyou both,” Lucia explained. “I want to be with the both of nyou, and do everything together! I knyow nyou love Chance too, so nyou just need to learn to love mew the same way.”
“Y-you! I-I-I! What? I-I mean…” Gloria stammered as she tried to work out what Lucia had told her. She fell silent, and closed her eyes to help clear her thoughts. “I’m… flattered that you think of me like that Lucia, but I’m just not interested. Chance is too much of a wimp to handle me, so you can have him all to yourself if you want. Well, you can for as long as you can fight off Goddie and Romilda!” Gloria began to laugh, but Lucia gave her friend an unimpressed glare.
“It’s nyo good to lie to nyourself like that.”
“Gloria, I knyow that nyou open nyour dojo late in the morning so nyou can keep a nyeye on Chance. Nyou also follow him around whenever nyou get the chance, and nyou use his Facebook pictures to mastu-“ Gloria, blushing even more furiously than she did before, quickly covered her feline friend’s mouth to keep her secrets safe.
“W-well that’s interesting…” Chance said with an awkward laugh.
“I know!” Ling Ling agreed with a laugh. “This is starting to sound like one of those soap operas!”
“It sure does,” Romilda said with a strained smile. “Could you let our kitten finish her story Gloria? I’m really curious about what you do with Chance’s pictures.”
“Romie behave!” Brook ordered. “Now’s not the time to be acting nasty!”
“I’m not ‘acting nasty’, I want to hear how these two plan on stealing Chance from Lady Godiva!” Romilda argued.
“STOP IT AUNTIE ROMIE!” Godiva shouted before she jumped onto the table. “You’re being a big meanie!”
“B-but Lady Godiva!”
“No buts! You can’t be mean just because Kitty and Glory want to marry Chance too!” the young hobgoblin scolded.
“I-I understand Lady Godiva. Forgive me…” Romilda apologized.
“It’s ok Auntie Romie! I know you’re looking out for me, but I’m a big girl now! If Gloria and Lucia want to marry Chance, I don’t mind sharing!”
“I-I don’t actually want to marry Chance,” Gloria said casually.
“Sure nyou don’t,” Lucia grumbled to herself. Godiva noticed this, and walked up to the werecat with a smile on her face.
“Can I pet you Kitty?” Godiva asked. Lucia slowly nodded her head, and Godiva began to gently pet her head. “There, there. You must have been so lonely, but you don’t have to be lonely anymore!”
“T-thank nyou,” Lucia said as tears began to form in her eyes. “N-nyou’re so nice! Nyou’re like an angel! Please marry me and let me bear nyour children!”
“Wha?” was all Godiva could say before Lucia grabbed and kissed her. The hobgoblin struggled in Lucia’s grasp, but she stopped as she began to enjoy it.
“Great, and here you had me thinking that you were being serious this time Lucia,” Gloria sighed. “This is turning into that time in the park all over again…”
“Man, you really do get way too affectionate when you’re drunk!” Chance laughed.
“Y-you flea ridden alley cat!” Romilda shouted as she climbed onto the table. “How dare you steal Lady Godiva’s first kiss?!” The old goblin ran towards the amorous werecat, only to be stopped by Amalia and Frida. “LET ME GO!”
“Y-you have to calm down Romie!” Amalia begged.
“Y-yeah!” Frida agreed. “If you keep this up none of the readers are going to like you!”
“Everyone, could you all please STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!!!!” Brook ordered with a sudden shout, which silenced the entire room. When she was sure she had everyone’s attention Brook said, “I think it’s time we all started to act our age! It’s bad enough that Goddie climbs onto the table, so you three don’t have to start now! Get down now, or you all can go to your rooms!”
“B-but!” Romilda began to argue, only to stop when Brook began to glare at her. “Y-yes ma’am…”
“Good, but don’t think I’m done with you quite yet missy. We’re going to have a nice, long talk about trying to attack people at the dinner table later!”
“Yes ma’am…” Romilda said as the goblins defectively got off the table. With the goblins dealt with, Brook turned her attention to Lucia, who was still kissing Godiva.
“Lucia, it’s time to stop doing that. It’s kind of illegal.” Brook waited for Lucia to stop, but it quickly became clear that Lucia wasn’t listening. “Gloria, you know what to do.”
“Y-yes ma’am!” Gloria said with a salute. She then reached over and pinched the back of Lucia’s neck. The werecat tensed up, but she quickly relaxed and fell back into the chair.
“Aww, but I’ve always wanted to play the kissing game…” Godiva whined.
“I’m sorry Goddie, but you’ll have to wait until you’re a little older to play that particular game,” Brook told the hobgoblin calmly.
“B-but I’m a big girl now!”
“Don’t worry about it princess,” Dylan assured. “I hear you mamono grow up pretty fast, so I’m sure you’ll be able to play soon enough.”
“But how soon is soon?” Godiva asked.
“Hmm, I’d say when your breasts are as big as mine!” Ling Ling announced. Everyone turned to look at the ren xiongmao, and found that she had removed her top to show off her micro-bikini. She began to pose seductively to emphasize her large bust.
“Woah-ho! You’ve got yourself a nice pair Ling Ling!” Dylan said before he noticed Brook giving him a dirty look. “Y-yes sugar buns?”
“Don’t you think you’re a little old to be flirting with your son’s friends? Especially when you already have three wives?” Brook asked with a strained tone.
“That’s fine. Hm? What are you up to Goddie?” Brook asked when she noticed that Godiva was now standing in front of Ling Ling.
“Y-your boobies are so big!” Godiva said as she ignored Brook. “How did you get them so big?”
“Well I just at the food my mom made for me, and went to bed when she told me to,” Ling Ling answered in a half assed manner.
“R-really?! S-so if I do that, do you think I can get bigger than you?”
“I don’t know… You can try, but you’ve got a lot catching up to do. You might not be able to do it.”
“Of course I will! I’m a big girl!” Godiva said proudly
“Really? I can’t say I noticed,” Ling Ling teased. Godiva growled her displeasure, and Ling Ling laughed at the hobgoblin’s childish display.
“H-hey now…” Chance interjected. “I don’t think you should be talking to a six year old…”
“It’s ok Chance!” Godiva assured. “I wouldn’t expect anything less from my new rival!”
“Rival?” asked the confused Chance.
“Yup! I swear that one day I will have bigger boobies than you Ling Ling!” the hobgoblin declared. Ling Ling crossed her arms in front of her, and used them to lift up her breasts slightly.
“We’ll just have to see about that!” Ling Ling said before the two of them burst out laughing. Chance didn’t understand what was going on, and sighed in exasperation.
“Oh my, is that the time?” Brook asked after she looked at the wall mounted clock. “I can’t believe it’s gotten so late! You all should start thinking about leaving.”
“Why?” Godiva asked in surprise. “I wanted to play with Chance some more!”
“I know you do Goddie, but it’s almost your bedtime and Chance need to bring his friends home.”
“B-but I still want to play!”
“Don’t worry about it princess,” Chance assured as he began to stand up. “I’ll come to visit again, and we can play then.”
“But I want to play now!” Godiva whined before she ran down the table towards Chance. She jumped when she reached the edge of the table, and Chance just barely managed to catch her.
“Woah there! What’s gotten into you?!”
“If you’re not going to stay and play with me, then I’m going to do this!” Godiva hugged Chance’s neck, and kissed his cheek. “You have to come back soon! If you take too long then I’m going to make you eat a whole bunch of Atomic Fireballs!”
“I-I don’t think we need to take such drastic measures to make sure I come back,” Chance nervously said as he patted the young girl’s back.
“Ok, but you better come back real soon! I get really lonely when you’re not here!”
“Don’t forget about me!” Frida added. “I’d like to take care of my son sometime too!”
“Calm down Frida,” Amalia scolded. “But it would be nice to see you come home more often.”
“And try to stay safe,” Romilda added. She looked to the ground and began to blush before saying, “I-I don’t really care, but Lady Godiva would be absolutely devastated if anything ever happened to you. And you better not get married to some random slut, or there’ll be hell to pay!”
“Easy there Romie! You don’t want to scare such a good looking guy like him off!” Dylan said to the old goblin.
“S-shut up Dylan!” Dylan began to laugh at the old goblin, but she put an end to it by stomping on his foot.
“Serves you right, you bastard!” Everyone began to laugh as Dylan began to hop around the room on one foot. As the laughter began to calm down, Brook came up to Chance.
“Take care Chance, and don’t forget to call once in a while,” the orc ordered with a smile.
“I won’t mom,” Chance replied with a smile. He was about to hand Godiva over to his mom, but he stopped suddenly. Brook stared at her son quizzically as he asked, “Can I ask you a question mom?”
“I’m just wondering how Goddie was able to run across the table without getting into trouble.”
“U-uh… W-well y-you s-see…” Brook stammered as she started to look around nervously. Dylan snuck up behind her, and she squealed adorably as he suddenly hugged her. “D-Dylan!”
“Now, now sugar buns. You don’t need to get so worked up. We all know that you’ve always wanted to have a little girl to spoil rotten!” Dylan teased.
“S-shut up! I-it’s not like that!”
“Don’t be like that mom,” Chance said as he handed Godiva to Brook. While she was distracted, Godiva and Chance kissed Brook on the cheek.
“W-why’s everyone teasing me all of a sudden oink?” Brook whined as her skin flushed red.
“It’s because you’re just so cute when you’re embarrassed,” Dylan whispered into his wife’s ear. He grinned mischievously before he playfully pinched Brook’s rump.
“Great, now dad’s getting frisky. I guess now’s as good a time to leave as any,” Chance announced. He looked towards Gloria, who had begun to get out of her chair. “Could you take care of her?” he asked as he pointed to the unconscious Lucia. Gloria nodded and effortlessly picked up the werecat before she headed to the exit. After everyone said their final farewells, Chance, Ling Ling, Gloria, and Lucia piled into Chance’s car once again. “So are we bringing Lucia back to her place?” Chance asked as he looked at Lucia snoozing next to Gloria in the back seat.
“No. We were planning on having her stay at the dojo with me,” the lizardman explained as she reached over to pet Lucia’s head. The werecat purred, but didn’t wake up.
“Speaking of your dojo, where is it?” Ling Ling asked.
“It’s on the corner of fifth and Richmond.”
“That’s just a few blocks away from where I live! Do you think I could come over some time to check it out?”
“Sure. Just make sure you’re ready for the hardest workout of your life when you do!”
“Ha! We’ll just have to see about that!” After getting Ling Ling’s address, Chance turned on his car and pulled out onto the road. They began their drive to Ling Ling’s place in silence until the ren xiongmao asked, “So what are you two going to do?”
“About what?” Gloria asked.
“Lucia’s confession. It really sounded like she wanted to start a three way relationship with you two.”
“That? I wouldn’t worry about that,” Chance assured. “She does stuff like that when she’s drunk.”
“I was a little surprised at first,” Gloria admitted. “She doesn’t usually sound so serious when she confesses to people.”
“Yeah, but this isn’t the first time she’s confessed to us either.”
“It isn’t?” Ling Ling asked.
“Well she only confesses to people when she’s drunk, and she only really drinks with the two of us,” Gloria explained.
“I see,” Ling Ling said as she turned to look at Lucia. “I’m starting to feel a little sorry for you Kitty…”
“What’re you mumbling about bamboo breath?” Gloria asked.
“Nothing~!” After that they continued to talk about less awkward subjects until they arrived at a busy Chinese restaurant. “This is me.”
“You’re living at Chang’s?” Chance asked.
“Yup! They have an apartment over the restaurant that I’m renting. I even get a discount if I help out once in a while.”
Gloria whistled and said, “Now that sounds like a good deal.”
“Oh it’s a steal! The only problem is that I can’t stand Chinese food.” Ling Ling begins to get out of the car, but stops once she opens the door. “I know it isn’t really my place, but I think you both need to take Lucia’s feelings more seriously.”
“And if you three ever do get together, don’t forget to let me know if you want to have a foursome. I’m usually raring to go, if you know what I mean! Bye bye!” She quickly got out of the car, and walked to the restaurant as seductively as she could manage. Gloria and Chance sat in silence as they watched her enter the restaurant.
Eventually Gloria climbed into the front seat and said, “Your friend’s kind of a weirdo.”
“You can say that again,” Chance agreed as he put the car in drive, and began to drive to Gloria’s dojo. “Although she does have this weird insight into some of this stuff. Maybe we should take her advice?”
“Chance, we both know that the hairball didn’t mean a word of what she said. It was the booze talking,” Gloria scoffed.
“Are we sure?” Chance asked. “I mean, she sure seemed to know a lot about what you’re up do.”
“It. Was. The. Booze,” Gloria repeated, sounding more than a little annoyed. “Or do you secretly like the idea of having a steamy threesome with Lucia and me?”
“What? No!” Chance argued, sounding slightly offended at the very notion.
“Whatever you say, pervert.”
“I don’t think I need to take this from my supposed stalker.”
“THAT ISN’T TRUE AND YOU KNOW IT!” Gloria shouted before an awkward silence filled the car. Eventually Chance pulled up to the Tetsu Ryu no Ken dojo and stopped the car.
“Well we’re here,” Chance announced as he turned to face Gloria.
“Thanks for the ride wimp,” Gloria said with a smirk.
“No problem scales for brains.” The two of them laughed hard enough that they thought they’d wake up Lucia, although the werecat didn’t stir.
After they had both calmed down, Gloria asked, “So… Do you ever think about when we were kids?”
“I guess…” Chance answered, slightly taken aback by the random question. “Why do you ask?”
“I was wondering if you remember that time you beat me in that sparring match?”
“Yes?” Chance answered, still unsure of where Gloria was going with this.
“What about what happened after that?”
“I’m pretty sure you trained extra hard for a week, then you beat the crap out of me during our next match.”
“And then you stopped going to the karate classes.”
“Yeah… So where are you going with this?”
“Well… I always kind of wondered how things would have turned out if we did things differently,” Gloria explained.
“Well, I know that if you wouldn’t have beaten the crap out of me at school after you found out that I quit,” Chance joked. The two of them laughed as they recalled that schoolyard fight.
“Yeah… But seriously, if I didn’t beat you up so bad, would we still have been friends? Do you think we could have started dating, would we have been the kind of rivals that I wanted us to be, or would we have drifted apart instead?”
Chance thought about it for a moment and said, “I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure that we’d still be friends. You’re not the kind of person to let someone just become a stranger.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Experience mostly. You were a really violent kid back then.”
“Are you implying that I would have forced you to be my friend?”
“Am I wrong?”
“Probably not.” They both began to laugh again. After they stopped, Gloria slowly began to lean closer to Chance.
“And then they kissed,” Lucia said as she peaked out from the back seat.
“GYAAAH!!” Gloria screamed, sounding much more feminine than she cared to admit.
Chance shouted, “HOLY SHIT!” and grasped at his chest in shock.
When they both managed to calm down, Gloria asked, “How long have you been awake?”
“Since you dropped off Ling Ling,” Lucia quickly answered. “I would have spoken up earlier, but you two were having such an interesting conversation.”
“You sneaky little fur ball!” Gloria tried to grab Lucia, but the werecat managed to escape her frantic grasp.
“Chance! Gloria’s trying to hurt me!” Lucia half-jokingly cried out.
“Gloria, stop trying to kill Lucia in my car,” Chance scolded. “Do it outside so the cops can’t tie it back to me!” After a bit of playful struggling, Gloria and Lucia got out of the car. After everyone said their goodbyes, the two mamono watched as Chance drove into the night.
When he was almost out of sight Gloria asked, “So about that stuff you said tonight, were you serious or were you just goofing around?” Lucia didn’t answer, but she began to blush and looked away. Gloria sighed and said, “So that’s how it is… We can talk about it inside if you want.”
“O-ok…” Lucia said as Gloria wrapped an arm around the werecat’s shoulders, and led her to the dojo. As they got closer, Lucia grabbed Gloria’s taunt rump, which elicited a cute gasp from her friend.
The remainder of Chance’s trip home was uneventful, and it wasn’t long before he pulled into his driveway. He quickly checked the sky for harpies before getting out of his car, and walked to his house. He was expecting to see Mrs. Richardson’s many cait sith waiting for him, but was surprised to only see one. She had grey fur and was sitting in front of his door. Although her face was hidden under an oversized, grey wide-brim hat, Chance knew that she had a black and white spot of fur that surrounded her icy blue eyes. She didn’t seem to have noticed him since she continued to poke at his walkway with the large staff like stick she carried as he approached.
“Hey Lunette. Isn’t it a little late to be out here by yourself?” Chance asked.
“A cait sith is never later,” Lunette answered without looking up. “Nor is she early. She arrives precisely when she means to!” She then looked up at Chance with a mischievous grin.
“I don’t think you’re using that quote right,” Chance said in an unimpressed tone.
“No, see the quote you’re trying to use only works when you’re arriving late,” Chance explained. “When I said you were late, I was referring to the time.”
“Lies!” the little cait sith repeated angrily. “I’ll have you know that I’m the biggest Gandalf fan on this street, and I never misuse his… Ah whiskers! You’re right!”
“Don’t worry about it. So where’s everyone else?”
“They’re at home trying to come up with another plan to fend off the harpies.”
“Oh? I thought the plan worked pretty well.”
“It was successful, but we had underestimated the number of harpies we needed to deal with. Everyone had to use more magic than we expected, so we’re all really tired,” Lunette calmly explained.
“Really? That sucks. Anyway, thanks for all the help,” Chance said with a smile.
“It’s fine. We’d do anything to help mommy get her boy toy!” They both stood in silence for a moment before Lunette said, “I mean we’d do anything to help you out Mr. Chance!”
“Thanks I guess... So is there a reason why you’re not helping to come up with a new plan?” Chance asked. “I thought you were supposed to be the strategist.”
“It should be ok. Boots is pretty good at that kind of stuff too, so I’m not worried. Besides mommy gave me a job to do!” Lunette proclaimed proudly.
“And what would that be?” Suddenly, as is to answer his question, they both heard a surprised ‘meow’ coming from above them. Chance looked up to just in time to catch a camera that had fallen from the roof. He looked it over, and noticed that it was a rather expensive digital camera with some sort of night vision attachment. As he wondered how it had gotten on his roof, he looked up to find the fuzzy faced culprit, a familiar calico cait sith with copper colored eyes.
“Are you ok Mittens?!” Lunette shouted.
“I’m K!” the calico cait sith answered. She then noticed Chance, and waved as she said, “Oh hai mistah Chance!”
“Hi Mittens,” Chance replied. He watched Mittens run to the end of his roof and begin to climb down his rain gutter. It was then that he realized that she was wearing a black cat suit, and was carrying one of Mrs. Richardson’s old black purses, which probably contained the cait sith’s electronics. When she had reached the ground Chance and asked, “Drop something?” before he knelt down to hand her the camera.
“Thx mistah Chance!” Mittens said as she grabbed the camera with her orange paws. She gave the camera a quick look over before asking, “I can haz dick pic?”
“For the last time: No!” Mittens meowed dejectedly.
“It looks like we’re done here,” Lunette announced after Mittens had put the camera in her purse.
“Already? Don’t you want some cream or milk before you go?” Chance asked.
“Sorry, but mommy has something waiting for us at home,” Lunette explained.
“Alright. Be careful when you cross the road, and good luck with your plan tomorrow!”
“KTHXBAI Mistah Chance!” Mitten said before she began to make her way home.
“This is not a goodbye, this is a see you later,” Lunette said with a tip of her oversized hat. She then ran off after Mittens.
“Gandalf didn’t say that!” Chance shouted at the two cait sith.
“PUSSY TOES!” Chance chuckled to himself as he turned back to his house. He pulled out his keys and approached his front door, but he stopped when he noticed that there was an arrow protruding from it.
“Hey you two! Can you come back here for a second?” Chance called out. The tow cait sith ran back looking a little confused.
“Wut iz?” Mittens asked.
“Do either of you know how this got here?”
“No,” Lunette answered bluntly. “That was there when we got here.” Chance looked over the two feline mamono, but neither of them seemed to be lying.
“Alright. Sorry to bother you both.” Lunette and Mittens left without another word, and Chance turned his attention back to the arrow stuck in his door. He pulled it out without too much difficulty, and noticed that it had a note tied to it. Curious, he walked into his home and turned on the lights to see what it said.
Dear Mr. Lonely Heart,
Do not fear, for I mean you no harm. In fact, you should thank your lucky stars that I managed to find you, the last single man in this city. Before I continue I must mention that I am not interested in pursuing a relationship with you. On the contrary, I am here to help you. You may be lonely now, but I will not rest until you are in the arms of your destined partner. I am aware that this will not be easy. The red strings of fate have become incredibly tangled around you, but I will unravel this knot for you in due time.
Glory to Eros,
S. A. Artemis
Chance looked over the note a few more times to make sure it was real. Destined partner? Red strings of fate? Eros? He didn’t like the sound of that, especially with the chilling revelation that this Artemis had found out he was single. At least it didn’t sound like she wanted him for herself, but how could he be sure that she wasn’t lying. He folded the note in two with a sigh, and placed it on his kitchen counter. He briefly thought about talking to Aleena about it, before sighing and heading upstairs to prepare for the lilim’s arrival.
Meanwhile in a treehouse not too far away from Chance’s house, special agent 069 of the Cupid Corps. “Artemis” was watching him through a pair of binoculars. She had thought that she had seen a second figure in his bedroom after he turned off the lights. Unfortunately she couldn’t get a good enough angle to verify this, and she gave up on trying. She put down her binoculars to stretch out her arms and wings, and sighed in relief as she felt her joints pop into place. She thought about her day, and smiled as she remembered just how lucky she was.
Like the mamono, Artemis had been brought to this world by the “Opening” and was trapped in this new world. The last few months were a living hell for the cupid, who had grown used to travelling the world on secret missions to fix the love lives of the world’s nobles. Now she had to work two low paying, menial jobs to afford the rent for an apartment that was above a bowling alley, and under another bowling alley. To make matters worse, she didn’t want the mamono cabal to know that there was a cupid amongst them, so she needed to keep herself disguised. And how she loathed this drudgery! But today that all changed. When she had gone to the mall that afternoon to stock up on her instant ramen, she literally bumped into the last single man in town. She was so excited that she followed him around until she could get his license plate number, which she knew she could use to get the information she needed thanks to the late night cop drama that she watched the other day. So she disguised herself as a police detective, and headed over to the Department of Motor Vehicles to learn everything she could about Chance Blythe. After that, she set up her base of operations, shot her message at his door, and spent the rest of the day spying on his house.
Suddenly Artemis was pulled out of her reverie by her growling stomach, and she decided that it was time to get something to eat. She yawned as she began to boil some water for her instant ramen on her portable stove, and decided that she should probably go to bed after dinner. She stripped down to her pink underwear, and readied her sleeping bag as she waited for the water to reach the proper temperature. When it did, she put the dried noodles into the pot, and her thoughts moved onto the job ahead of her. She knew it wasn’t going to be easy. Chance may be single, but she could sense that there were many mamono who yearned for him. She thought briefly of helping him get a harem, but she dismissed the idea. Harems were used by lesser cupid who couldn’t manage the multiple relationships, and she was a professional. If there was anyone who could help Chance locate his perfect soulmate amongst his suitors, it was S.A. Artemis! And there was nothing she wouldn’t do to make it happen!
“Hey! You’re not allowed up here!” Artemis turned to the source of the voice, and found a young pair of kakuen twins peeking into the treehouse from the window.
“Yeah!” one of the kakuen agreed. “You’re not allowed in our clubhouse, so get out!” Artemis rolled her eyes, and went back to cooking her noodles. It had taken her hours to determine that this treehouse gave her the best view of Chance’s house, and she wasn’t going to abandon it so easily! “H-hey! Don’t ignore us!”
“Well, if she’s going to ignore us Abbie, then we should start looking through her stuff!”
“Good idea Addie!” This caught Artemis’ attention, and she turned to find the two monkey girls rifling through her belongings. She got up and tried to grab the one called Abbie, but the kakuen proved to be too agile. “Hihihihi! Nice try, but you’ll never catch us!” Artemis continued to try to catch the two kakuen, but they were able to keep just out of reach. After a while she managed to get the one called Addie cornered, and began to close in on the brat.
“Why do you have so many pictures of Chance?” Abbie asked loudly, which distracted Artemis long enough to allow Addie to escape. Addie ran up to her sister, and snatched the picture she was looking at out of her hands. “Hey! I was looking at that!”
“Well now I’m looking at it!” Addie argued before she looked at Chance’s photo and swooned. “Oh Chance~! You’re so dreamy~!”
“Hands off Addie! He’s mine!”
“No he isn’t! I saw him first, so he’s mine!”
“But I called dibs!” As the kakuen started fighting, Artemis angrily grabbed the photo from Addie, and started putting away her surveillance photos and other Intel. When she finished, Abbie asked, “So why do you have so many pictures of Chance? Do you want to be his girlfriend too?” Artemis sighed, and grabbed a pen and some paper. She then wrote down all the information that she thought the young mamono needed to know, and handed the notes to the girls.
After they finished reading Addie asked, “So you want help Chance get a girlfriend?” Artemis nodded her head, and the two kakuen began to whisper amongst themselves. “Are you doing this by yourself?” Artemis nodded again, and the girls began to smile mischievously.
“We can help you out if you want,” Abbie said as innocently as she could.
“Yeah! We’ve been Chance’s neighbors for a looooong time, so I’m sure we’d be able to help a lot!” Addie added. Artemis thought it over for a moment. Locals can be a valuable source of information, but these kids are mamono and might try to double cross her. On the other hand kids are stupid, so Artemis gave them a thumbs up. The kakuen squealed in excitement, and hugged the surprised cupid. “I’m Adelaide, but you can call me Addie!”
“And I’m Abbie, which is short for Abigail. What’s your name?”
“I think she wrote it in her notes. Let’s see…” Addie looks through the notes and says, “Here it is! Ar? Art? Arte? Can we call you Artie?” Artemis shrugged her shoulders.
“Well Artie, if you need anything don’t be afraid to ask!” Abbie announced.
“And if we can’t help you out, I’m sure our daddy would be happy to help you out if you showed him your boobies!” Artemis looked at her new assistants, and smiled faintly. Maybe this job wasn’t going to as hard as she thought. She then realized that she had overcooked her noodles, and cried a little on the inside.