I look around, not believing my eyes. Am I still asleep?
"Nope!" Comes a cheery voice from behind me, but when I turn to look there's nothing. Looking around a bit longer I decide to make sure I'm not still sleeping. Pinching my arm I wince and confirm, yes, I am awake.
"If you like it rough, I can do it rough." Another voice comes from beside me. Turning I see a march hare, already rubbing herself as she approaches. I assure her, I'm not looking for a partner.
"That's fine, I'm okay with a one fuck fling." I try to tell her again that I'm not after sex. "Well, we don't have to do it like that. I could just blow you." Sighing, I realise that I'm not going to get anywhere with this.
"She'll just keep twisting whatever you say into sex." The voice calls again. Well, that settles it. With a parting wave I take off running, hearing a giggle behind me. I look back to find she's chasing me, hopping along quickly with that lewd smile on her face. I duck and weave through the trees, and eventually the sound of her pursuit ends.
I take a few moments to sit and catch my breath. "Whatever you do. Don't. Look. Up." The voice is in my ear again, and at this point I'm wondering who's dragging me through this place. I decide not to look, until something drips on my shoulder. Standing for a moment I wait, then sigh and look up.
Above me is what looks like a slime in an egg, but when she tries to move, she drags the eg with her. Not waiting to find out how this one wants me, I take off at a brisk walk, outpacing the eggy slime.
"Watch out for her mother." I immediately duck, feeling wind go over my head. Turning I look to see a big breasted harpy with fluffy wings. I take off running again, the jubjub giving chase, and break through the trees and out of the forest.
Straight off of the edge of a floating island.
I'm falling, screaming and flailing until I feel a pair of fluffy paws around my chest, then I'm suddenly sitting atop a mushroom. The cheshire cat is sitting across from me, cheeky grin plastered across her face.
"Sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen." She says happily, in the same voice as the one that's been playing in my ear. I ask who she is.
"I'm just a humble guide." She says with a dramatic bow. "Here to show you the sights and scenes of Wonderland at the queen's behest." I raise an eyebrow. Has she been directing me to the various monsters of wonderland for just that. To show me the sights and scenes?
"Well... I also think it’s fun to watch you run." She says mischievously. I look down from the mushroom top, and immediately scramble back. We must be twenty meters in the air. I look at her, and ask if she can take me down to the ground.
"Aw, but it's so... private up here. We could do anything, and only the jabberwocks would be able to see." That's when I feel another wet drop hit my head, then another, and soon enough it's pouring, but the rain isn't cold. It's... warm. I'm warm, then I get hot.
"Ohhhhhh." I turn to see the cheshire groping herself. "Please, can we please do something naughty?" She says, opening her legs. I can't do anything but comply, running at her and ravaging her. I wasn't aware of the fact that the mushroom we were on was slightly concave, and soon we're up to our ankles in warm, somewhat sticky, water.
I have no idea how long we spend there, in the puddle on the mushroom, but it's more than long enough for me to feel drained dry. Sometimes I was hammering into her, sometimes she was bouncing on me, and I think at one point we were even going slow, taking it easy for a change of pace.
"Well, that was unexpected, but also lots of fun." She kisses me, and I kiss back, and we're suddenly kissing in a field of grass. Since we've calmed down some, I look around for my clothes, and discover they didn't teleport with me.
"I think I like you better in that." The cheshire says with a loving smile. I roll my eyes and ask her name. Least I can get off of my new wife.
"Clair. And let me assure you, the pleasure is mine." She says with another exaggerated bow. Well, at least things won't be boring here.